Stupid "Company Cheer"

[APowers]

I feel like I've been laying pretty low lately, but I need to vent.

We moved from WA to CO, I've been delivering pizza for Domino's (both before and after the move). After we moved, I managed to pick up a pretty sweet gig doing property management/maintenance for our landlords. So I work for Domino's at night, and "moonlight" as a handyman/maintenance/landscaping/etc guy.

I'm currently under contract to buy a house. Longer story shorter-- when I applied for a mortgage, they said they could only count income from Domino's and not my other job due to some rule about needing 2 years of work history (nevermind that I remodeled basically my entire house over the course of the last 4-5 years prior to moving, and that's exactly what I'm doing for the landlords). Ahem. Anyway-- in order to qualify for my mortgage, I need this Domino's job, as it's the only income that counts.

NOW, at Domino's, the franchise owner has decided from on high that all the employees at his stores need to do a company cheer. Yes, complete with handclapping and awkwardness-- Who are we? Domino's! What are we? Number 1! What's our goal? Sell more pizzas, have more fun! [franchise] is number 1!

Prior to any of this, I've said to the store manager more than once that I'm here to have fun and make money. They've tried to get me to volunteer to drive the company car, and I've declined as much as possible, citing these reasons (I drive a Civic and get 40mpg; I make decent money on the mileage rate they pay).


I have successfully avoided participating in the stupid cheer. I've mentioned that I think it's stupid and (more importantly) unproductive to the assistant manager. But I'm waiting for the hammer to drop when the store manager will round me up and insist that I do it along with everyone else. There was one all-employee meeting where he had everyone do it and I just stood there, and he seemed pretty upset about it (said "You can't take 15 seconds out of your day to clap and say some words? That's pretty low.").

Ideally, I would like to say "My goal here is to have fun and make money. The cheer states that our goal is to sell more pizza and have more fun. Doing the cheer is neither selling pizzas nor fun for anyone, and therefore I think it's stupid and unproductive. No thanks. I'll be happy to be washing dishes or making pizza if you want to do the cheer."

BUT

I'm currently at a critical juncture, as the sale on the house doesn't close for another couple weeks, and I don't know how that will pan out if I get fired for refusing to do a stupid cheer. I'm really not worried about money, as I could throw full time hours into the other job and still do well for myself. But I really don't want to lose the house.

My current solution is to try to make myself scarce when I think he might be doing a cheer (burying myself in the dish pit has been successful so far). I don't know how long that'll last, it's stressful, and I hate hiding when I'd rather stand up for myself and what I think is right.


GAH.

[lizzigee]

Pick your battles? If you have to do a stupid cheer once or twice over the few weeks before your house closes, is it really the end of the world?  Its the sort of thing I would absolutely HATE to do myself, but for me it would be less stressful to join in and get it over with rather than spend weeks avoiding the situation or worrying about the risk I might lose my chance to purchase a house. YMMV

[rob in cal]

   I'd force myself to do the stupid cheer.  Having the delivery job at night is a pretty nice source of income I would think, to go along with your other work.  No sense jeopardizing it over a dumb song. As delivery drivers we often have to put up with a variety of interesting situations.

[chrisgermany]

Cheer for the time being.
The boss will forget about it sooner rather than later if everybody cheers along.
The next corporate s..t will come and you will have secured the house and mortgage.

[Johnez]

Work is full of putting up with stupid shit. Not sure where I'd draw my line in the sand, but this seems almost ridiculous. Try a policy that says you can't schedule a day off until you've been with the company 5 years. 2 weeks vacation and we have to take it in 1 week increments. 

[ltt]

Cheer for a few weeks. :)

[Lews Therin]

Amuse yourself by realizing you are being paid to be a cheerleader.

[RedefinedHappiness]

I think you need more flair.   Someone has a case of the Mondays.

[dreams_and_discoveries]

Yup working sometimes sucks!

They are paying for your time to do whatever they want you to do, it's far from the most outrageous request....

[MsPeacock]

What hill do you want to die on?

Do the cheer. Stop complaining to anyone in management that you think it is stupid. They likely think it is stupid too, but they are wise enough to back up the owner/manager.

This hardly seems like a terrible burden to bear. I mean, how long does this take? How much do you suffer feeling awkward (along with everyone else) for the 30 seconds this takes.

[pbnj]

2 simple choices: do the stupid cheer or don't do it.  Consequences either way as with any other decision.  Most people have had far worse crap than that to suck up to reach a goal.  Give your opinions when you leave the job.

[Jakejake]

I'm with everyone else here. I'm an introvert, and I don't do "cheerful giddy". But I would suck it up for the 30 seconds. And somewhere in my online life, I would change my job title to "professional cheerleader."

In my past careers, I've had to clean up snake shit, scrub latrines, take part in things that were very much against my ethics, be a whistle blower when I knew I'd be screwed if I lost my job because of it, rat out kids who confided in my because I was a "state mandated reporter" - ugh, I could go on and on.

If what you're doing makes you a little uncomfortable, take it as an opportunity to reflect on people who have no choice but to take jobs that slowly poison them, or compromise their ethics. Sometimes there is something zenlike in recognizing that in the grander scheme of things our problems are negligible, and finding gratitude in that. 

*frowning because in my journal in the last week I was whining over some very first world problem stuff, so ... don't read that. My being the occasional hypocrite doesn't make what I'm saying any less true. :)

[golfreak12]

We got this new manager that likes to micro-manage everything. At first I can't stand it and I wanted to work less and less so I don't have to deal with her. Then I realized how awesome my job is MINUS her. So now I just agree with all of her shit and stay low. She moves on to the next person. Now she doesn't bother me much anymore.
As everyone stated. Pick your battle.
If you like your job, deal with the shit that really doesn't affect much.
If you don't, find another job.

[Goldielocks]

Get over it.   

We all get paid to do / say things at work that we wouldn't if it wasn't part of the job.   That includes things like laying off or firing people, or reducing salaries because those on high said so, and keeping to the script when you do so.   It includes telling people how the new software or system will improve their work, when you know that it is just a stepping stone to centralizing tasks to the head office.   It includes having to shop at the company store / buy product, and say how great it is even if you prefer the cheaper and marginally less fancy version. 

So, your problem is very very minor...

A cheer is pretty simple, you don't have to be in front.  Try to have fun doing it and you will like it better.  It WILL go away.  They always do, and without your disgruntled input.

[SwordGuy]

Or you could do it SUPER excitedly but horribly, horribly off-key and with the timing wrong.   

Then confess later, if needed, that you didn't really think it was a stupid idea, you just know you can't carry a tune and have no sense of rhythm or timing.  You were just embarrassed. 

Think how much fun you can have. :)

[Snow White]

I am with Sword Guy...I'd do the loudest, off-key, tone deaf, over the top cheer they ever heard. Hell...I'd cheer when no one else was cheering. Pretty soon the cheer will start to annoy the boss and he/she will move on and find new ways to torture staff. 😬

[Candace]

Or you could do it SUPER excitedly but horribly, horribly off-key and with the timing wrong.   

Then confess later, if needed, that you didn't really think it was a stupid idea, you just know you can't carry a tune and have no sense of rhythm or timing.  You were just embarrassed. 

Think how much fun you can have. :)

Yep. This would be so "Office Space".

[MisterTwoForty]

Do the cheer.  You get a pay check to do things you wouldnt otherwise do.  This isnt a moral stand or an ethics issue.

[APowers]

Or you could do it SUPER excitedly but horribly, horribly off-key and with the timing wrong.   

Then confess later, if needed, that you didn't really think it was a stupid idea, you just know you can't carry a tune and have no sense of rhythm or timing.  You were just embarrassed. 

Think how much fun you can have. :)

This is almost exactly how everyone else does the cheer, lol. I'm 98% sure that everyone else hates it, too.

I'm happy that I work a late shift, and normally clock in after it's been done for the day. So that's a consolation.

[marty998]

Amuse yourself by realizing you are being paid to be a cheerleader.

Maybe turn up with pom poms and hot pants? That'll make everyone realise the absurdity of it :)

[Daisy]

I probably would avoid doing the cheer too.

But I'm  with Swordguy. If you're going to do it, do it badly...off key.

I/d even mess up the words. Plenty of people get the lyrics to songs wrong anyways. You can say you are lyrically challenged or can't memorize well.

 Who are we? Geronimo's! What are we? Number Fun! What's our goal? Spill more pizzas, have more fun! [franchise] is number Done!

[gerardc]

But I'm  with Swordguy. If you're going to do it, do it badly...off key.

I/d even mess up the words. Plenty of people get the lyrics to songs wrong anyways. You can say you are lyrically challenged or can't memorize well.

 Who are we? Geronimo's! What are we? Number Fun! What's our goal? Spill more pizzas, have more fun! [franchise] is number Done!

Hehe, can't stop laughing over this.

But you should be grateful you only need to "fake it" for 15 seconds, and not your whole day like a lot of people.

[FIRE me]

There was one all-employee meeting where he had everyone do it and I just stood there, and he seemed pretty upset about it (said "You can't take 15 seconds out of your day to clap and say some words? That's pretty low.").

Is it really your 15 seconds, or is it the company's 15 seconds? In other words, are you on the clock and being paid to cheer? If not, I would tell them to fuck off. If you are on the clock, you are being insubordinate if you won't do the stupid cheer.

[Guesl982374]

There was one all-employee meeting where he had everyone do it and I just stood there, and he seemed pretty upset about it (said "You can't take 15 seconds out of your day to clap and say some words? That's pretty low.").

Is it really your 15 seconds, or is it the company's 15 seconds? In other words, are you on the clock and being paid to cheer? If not, I would tell them to fuck off. If you are on the clock, you are being insubordinate if you won't do the stupid cheer.

+1 The company is paying you for your time. It's their right to do an unprofitable activity with the time they've purchased from you.

Just think about all of the people in this world living on <$1-2/day who would love to be in your position and do the damn cheer. Stop wasting your energy on such a low value thought.

[Livingthedream55]

Suck it up, cheer the foolish cheer until you get your mortgage loan approved (maybe do some impressive eye rolls).

 

[LalsConstant]

Heh.  I worked at both Lowe's and Wal-Mart.  I have done.  So many.  Stupid cheers.

If someone wants to pay me to do cheers, fine with me.  It's only one of a thousand pointless tasks I got paid for.

[MichaelB]

I mean, I guess you should do the cheer. But I'd feel like I needed a shower afterwards.

And perusing the comments, I'm surprised at the lack of people saying how insultingly stupid such a cheer would be. I mean, that's a special kind of stupid to make other adults do that.

I mean, other people are right, there are far worse things that could happen at a workplace. But damn if that wouldn't majorly rub me wrong.

[MilesTeg]

Ask thyself, what is more important:

1.) Successfully closing on the house
2.) Avoiding the cheer

It's as simple as that. What do you really value?

[BlueHouse]

hmmmm..  I guess I'm the only one that doesn't think you should do the cheer.  It's not out of a sense of your principles or anything, but just that I agree with you that if you're so dead set against it, then doing it would just be phony and icky.

I think you should say to your boss, in a very humble manner, "I really feel uncomfortable doing this and it's causing anxiety.  Would it be okay if I just stood by quietly and smiled?"

Don't say it's stupid and don't get defensive about it. 

There...simple. 

[SuperMex]

My religion prohibits singing and cheering is singings evil cousin. Your not trying to violate my religious rights are you?


But seriously just do the cheer until the day the ink is dry.  Then tell them something retarded like I think I strained my vocal cords doing the cheer I may have to file workman's comp!

[MightyAl]

Embrace it or remain miserable.  What does it hurt to be a part of this and engage with your fellow employees.  That are a lot of things that I have been made to do that I thought were ridiculous at the time but looking back were well worth doing.  Hindsight is 20/20 and this is not a hill that I would want to die on.  By somebody seeing you engage then they might step up and so on and so forth until the little improvements in attitude and productivity add up to a large improvement and the store does increase sales.  In the pursuit of shitty pizza customer service is the only thing that separates the players.  If you have any better ideas bring them up to the boss.

[Gibbelstein]

I would do it for the house.  However, I'm surprised at the tone of some of the responses here.  They aren't "paying you to do whatever they say"  they're paying you to make pizzas (and possibly to "have fun", I haven't seen the job description.)  Other than that B.S. "other duties as necessary" line people love to quote when they think they are being clever, you agreed to do a set of tasks for an amount of money.  Is it ridiculous to think of it as a contractual dispute?  Absolutely.  Approximately as ridiculous as thinking forcing employees to do a cheer will make them better employees.

The most amusing part to me is that, apparently, it is lost on your supervisors that forcing you to do this thing you hate that doesn't lead to better/faster pizzas is counterproductive to the song's stated goal of "having more fun".

[Goldielocks]

I would do it for the house.  However, I'm surprised at the tone of some of the responses here.  They aren't "paying you to do whatever they say"  they're paying you to make pizzas (and possibly to "have fun", I haven't seen the job description.)  Other than that B.S. "other duties as necessary" line people love to quote when they think they are being clever, you agreed to do a set of tasks for an amount of money.  Is it ridiculous to think of it as a contractual dispute?  Absolutely.  Approximately as ridiculous as thinking forcing employees to do a cheer will make them better employees.

The most amusing part to me is that, apparently, it is lost on your supervisors that forcing you to do this thing you hate that doesn't lead to better/faster pizzas is counterproductive to the song's stated goal of "having more fun".

We are all paid to have a cooperative, pleasant, team attitude...   

Those that don't have trouble keeping any sort of work.

[Dicey]

Amuse yourself by realizing you are being paid to be a cheerleader.

Maybe turn up with pom poms and hot pants? That'll make everyone realise the absurdity of it :)

I was thinking along these lines, but more subversive. Find an old cheerleader sweater for cheap (eBay?) Bonus points if it's Domino's colors. Double bonus points if you can replicate the Domino's logo on it in felt or something. Get pom-poms, maybe even a wig. Show the boss. Tell him from now on you're going to be his most enthusiastic cheerleader. So much so, that every time he calls for the cheer, you're going to run and grab your gear first. Make your enthusiasm a total pain in the ass for him. If you really want to be evil, start making up better cheers and tacking one on every time he calls for his cheer. Aim for humor and better rhymes, not snark, even though snark is so much better. Keep those in your head for a little while longer.

Also, calculate what you're earning to toe this silly line. I'll bet it's a damn good hourly wage.

Unless, of course, you can do as lhamo suggested  and align yourself with another franchise.

BTW, will you move into the new place or keep the super gig and rent the house out?

[HPstache]

[MilesTeg]

I would do it for the house.  However, I'm surprised at the tone of some of the responses here.  They aren't "paying you to do whatever they say"  they're paying you to make pizzas (and possibly to "have fun", I haven't seen the job description.)  Other than that B.S. "other duties as necessary" line people love to quote when they think they are being clever, you agreed to do a set of tasks for an amount of money.  Is it ridiculous to think of it as a contractual dispute?  Absolutely.  Approximately as ridiculous as thinking forcing employees to do a cheer will make them better employees.

The most amusing part to me is that, apparently, it is lost on your supervisors that forcing you to do this thing you hate that doesn't lead to better/faster pizzas is counterproductive to the song's stated goal of "having more fun".

Assuming the OP lives/works in an 'at will employment' state, he is indeed being paid to do whatever the boss says (excluding illegal things). If he doesn't like it, he's free to leave.

[MilesTeg]

I was thinking along these lines, but more subversive. Find an old cheerleader sweater for cheap (eBay?) Bonus points if it's Domino's colors. Double bonus points if you can replicate the Domino's logo on it in felt or something. Get pom-poms, maybe even a wig. Show the boss. Tell him from now on you're going to be his most enthusiastic cheerleader. So much so, that every time he calls for the cheer, you're going to run and grab your gear first. Make your enthusiasm a total pain in the ass for him. If you really want to be evil, start making up better cheers and tacking one on every time he calls for his cheer. Aim for humor and better rhymes, not snark, even though snark is so much better. Keep those in your head for a little while longer.

Also, calculate what you're earning to toe this silly line. I'll bet it's a damn good hourly wage.

Unless, of course, you can do as lhamo suggested  and align yourself with another franchise.

BTW, will you move into the new place or keep the super gig and rent the house out?

Or, act like an adult and accept that when you are employed (especially as low/no skill labor) you sometimes have to do things you don't like. There are only roughly two options otherwise: 1.) calmly and respectfully air your grievance or 2.) find different employment.

[o2bfree]

Yikes, that's worse than the football craziness, complete with cheers, that erupts in my office every season. At least I can opt out of that if I want. But I do it sometimes, just to keep my foot in the door socially with the good people at work.

Do the cheer to get what you need. Life is sometimes very hard and we must make sacrifices.

[BTDretire]

I think you need more flair.   Someone has a case of the Mondays.

+1
 Make a dance out of it, get some exercise, make everyone dance, make it an Elaine Benes type dance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DY_DF2Af3LM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5dogmMj-s0
 I'll bet they will be happy to let you do dishes, just so they don't need to
see you dance.

[Chris22]

Yikes, that's worse than the football craziness, complete with cheers, that erupts in my office every season. At least I can opt out of that if I want. But I do it sometimes, just to keep my foot in the door socially with the good people at work.

Do the cheer to get what you need. Life is sometimes very hard and we must make sacrifices.

And if this is truly something you find "very hard" in your life, either your life is fantastically good and this is the absolute worst part of it, or some real introspection is required as to why this is considered "very hard."  Silly, stupid, hokey, corny, a waste of time?  Sure.  Very hard?  Getting shot at in Iraq or fighting cancer or losing a kid are "very hard."  Having to spend 15 seconds signing a cheer is not.

[MichaelB]

Some of these comments. Man. If someone complains about a cold, do y'all respond with "be glad it's not cancer"?

I mean I agree, this ain't the hill to die on, but geez. Let the poor bastard vent about something stupid at work.

[Chris22]

Some of these comments. Man. If someone complains about a cold, do y'all respond with "be glad it's not cancer"?

I mean I agree, this ain't the hill to die on, but geez. Let the poor bastard vent about something stupid at work.

On a site that claims to be about "badassity", yes, whining about having to sing a stupid song in order to hit a tangible financial milestone seems weak and petty.

[gimp]

On the other hand, I'd refuse. Fire me for not cheering? Aight. No problemo.

[APowers]

Update:

I had a conversation with the store manager regarding the cheer. I explained (kindly, calmly, etc) what I thought about it. The good news? He hates it about as much as I do. The bad news: it turns out that it's one of the things that counts against him if it isn't done (and apparently is one of the reasons the previous store manager was fired-- i.e., not having the employees do the cheer).

He doesn't want to get fired, so he makes everyone do the cheer. Considering that it's not a moral issue, I've decided that I'm going to (albeit not enthusiastically) do the cheer, if only for the sake of being considerate of his job. I mean, there's also "making sure I get the house" reason, but my hope is that either the franchise owner will get bored of the cheer, or I'll end up not needing this job anymore.

This scene did come to mind as I was pondering this issue....

Also, calculate what you're earning to toe this silly line. I'll bet it's a damn good hourly wage.

Unless, of course, you can do as lhamo suggested  and align yourself with another franchise.

BTW, will you move into the new place or keep the super gig and rent the house out?

Calculating my wage: I make about $15/hr at Domino's.

I'll get to keep my gig with my landlords whether I move or not. But yes, we'll remodel, move into the house, remodel some more, rent out the basement, then be on the lookout for more houses to buy and turn into income streams.

[APowers]

Yikes, that's worse than the football craziness, complete with cheers, that erupts in my office every season. At least I can opt out of that if I want. But I do it sometimes, just to keep my foot in the door socially with the good people at work.

Do the cheer to get what you need. Life is sometimes very hard and we must make sacrifices.

And if this is truly something you find "very hard" in your life, either your life is fantastically good and this is the absolute worst part of it, or some real introspection is required as to why this is considered "very hard."  Silly, stupid, hokey, corny, a waste of time?  Sure.  Very hard?  Getting shot at in Iraq or fighting cancer or losing a kid are "very hard."  Having to spend 15 seconds singing a cheer is not.

To be honest, my life is, in fact, pretty fantastically good, and this is one of the worst parts of it. Being forced to do a stupid cheer in order to keep a job that's otherwise reasonably fun, and being stuck working at even a reasonably fun job when I'd rather be choosing my own activities are pretty literally the worst parts of my life. My life is not "living in a war zone" hard, "fighting cancer" hard, or "losing a loved one" hard. Not remotely, and I don't mean to equate my troubles at work with any of those other situations. But I still wanted to vent about something that peeved me.

[Metric Mouse]

Amuse yourself by realizing you are being paid to be a cheerleader.

Maybe turn up with pom poms and hot pants? That'll make everyone realise the absurdity of it :)

I was thinking along these lines, but more subversive. Find an old cheerleader sweater for cheap (eBay?) Bonus points if it's Domino's colors. Double bonus points if you can replicate the Domino's logo on it in felt or something. Get pom-poms, maybe even a wig. Show the boss. Tell him from now on you're going to be his most enthusiastic cheerleader. So much so, that every time he calls for the cheer, you're going to run and grab your gear first. Make your enthusiasm a total pain in the ass for him. If you really want to be evil, start making up better cheers and tacking one on every time he calls for his cheer. Aim for humor and better rhymes, not snark, even though snark is so much better. Keep those in your head for a little while longer.

Great plan. If I were the manager, I'd promote him to "Lead Franchise Cheer-Leader". Here's an additional 8c's an hour for your new position - your job is now to lead the cheer X times per shift. Gear is optional, cheering is not. Please feel free to add to the cheer in appropriate ways, but do not exclude core cheer requirements. Ensure your coworkers cheer, as per franchise policy.  Congrats, and thanks for playing.

[Goldielocks]

...
Great plan. If I were the manager, I'd promote him to "Lead Franchise Cheer-Leader". Here's an additional 8c's an hour for your new position - your job is now to lead the cheer X times per shift. Gear is optional, cheering is not. Please feel free to add to the cheer in appropriate ways, but do not exclude core cheer requirements. Ensure your coworkers cheer, as per franchise policy.  Congrats, and thanks for playing.

LOL,  I read that as $800/hr   ..  I would lead the cheer for $800 per hour, no doubt.  Hiring?

[accolay]

It's pretty stupid, but you have to do a lot of stupid things and jump through a lot of stupid hoops to buy a house sometimes.

[Metric Mouse]

...
Great plan. If I were the manager, I'd promote him to "Lead Franchise Cheer-Leader". Here's an additional 8c's an hour for your new position - your job is now to lead the cheer X times per shift. Gear is optional, cheering is not. Please feel free to add to the cheer in appropriate ways, but do not exclude core cheer requirements. Ensure your coworkers cheer, as per franchise policy.  Congrats, and thanks for playing.

LOL,  I read that as $800/hr   ..  I would lead the cheer for $800 per hour, no doubt.  Hiring?

Urg. Payroll would kill me. Sorry for the confusion.

[Dicey]

I was thinking along these lines, but more subversive. Find an old cheerleader sweater for cheap (eBay?) Bonus points if it's Domino's colors. Double bonus points if you can replicate the Domino's logo on it in felt or something. Get pom-poms, maybe even a wig. Show the boss. Tell him from now on you're going to be his most enthusiastic cheerleader. So much so, that every time he calls for the cheer, you're going to run and grab your gear first. Make your enthusiasm a total pain in the ass for him. If you really want to be evil, start making up better cheers and tacking one on every time he calls for his cheer. Aim for humor and better rhymes, not snark, even though snark is so much better. Keep those in your head for a little while longer.

Also, calculate what you're earning to toe this silly line. I'll bet it's a damn good hourly wage.

Unless, of course, you can do as lhamo suggested  and align yourself with another franchise.

BTW, will you move into the new place or keep the super gig and rent the house out?

Or, act like an adult and accept that when you are employed (especially as low/no skill labor) you sometimes have to do things you don't like. There are only roughly two options otherwise: 1.) calmly and respectfully air your grievance or 2.) find different employment.

Killjoy.