Author Topic: Strong marriage  (Read 6707 times)

matimeo

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 32
  • Location: Portland, Oregon
Strong marriage
« on: March 17, 2015, 11:26:27 PM »
I don't see much posted about this on the forums, but it seems that for us married folks, our dreams of financial independence and long-term well-being depend a lot on a healthy marriage. Saw this article summarizing some key things and thought I would share.  After all, the MMM blog is really not as much about money as it is about a way of life that creates greater happiness.

Enjoy. http://www.businessinsider.com/lasting-relationships-rely-on-2-traits-2014-11

anon-e-mouse

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 78
  • Location: Southern California
Re: Strong marriage
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2015, 11:41:34 PM »
If you're not working together towards the same goal, then good luck.

ohana

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 172
    • An Ocean Lover in Maine
Re: Strong marriage
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2015, 09:18:10 AM »
Great article.  I have a friend in a horrible marriage, and I just keep hoping she leaves him.  What he gives her in contempt -- they hit the nail on the head.

Pigeon

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1298
Re: Strong marriage
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2015, 04:48:31 AM »
That is a great article and I agree a good marriage is a huge help in achieving financial goals.

Jon_Snow

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4458
  • Location: An Island in the Salish Sea (or Baja)
  • I am no man’s chair.
Re: Strong marriage
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2015, 08:39:31 AM »
I attribute most of my success in achieving FIRE to my incredible marriage. Yes, I said incredible...cause that's what it is. :)

benjenn

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 283
  • Age: 59
  • Location: Gulf Shores, AL
Re: Strong marriage
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2015, 08:43:53 AM »
I sent DH a text earlier this week after reading another post on this forum about how to deal with a spouse who wasn't interested in being frugal or planning to retire early.  I told him how thankful I am that we're on the same page and have been for some time... so that we've been able to plan for this and make it happen together.  I can't wait to be retired and get to spend most of every day with this man I am so blessed to be married to.  I think our strong marriage will just keep getting stronger.  It would break my heart if he weren't as committed to this as I am. 

Retired To Win

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1493
  • Age: 76
  • Location: Virginia
  • making the most of my time and my money
    • Retired To Win
Re: Strong marriage
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2015, 09:17:37 AM »
If you're not working together towards the same goal, then good luck.

Particularly when it comes to striving for earlier retirement.  If one spouse is pushing in that direction but the other one is pulling towards conspicuous consumption and keeping up with the Joneses, that earlier retirement just ain't gonna happen.  :(

celticmyst08

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 382
  • Age: 33
  • Location: Seattle, WA
Re: Strong marriage
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2015, 10:11:44 AM »
Yes - I'm SO thankful that my husband and I are on the same page regarding money / FIRE. We try to frequently discuss our financial situation so we're always on top of what's happening and can adapt as needed. I see friends of ours who struggle with having a completely opposite view of money than their spouse; the dominant partner ends up getting their way, there's no compromise, and it really starts to take a toll.

Plus, there's the great benefit of not having to stress about money. Less stress is always helpful in a marriage! :)

Retired To Win

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1493
  • Age: 76
  • Location: Virginia
  • making the most of my time and my money
    • Retired To Win
Re: Strong marriage
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2015, 01:48:26 PM »
Yes - I'm SO thankful that my husband and I are on the same page regarding money / FIRE. We try to frequently discuss our financial situation so we're always on top of what's happening and can adapt as needed... Plus, there's the great benefit of not having to stress about money. Less stress is always helpful in a marriage! :)


Lord knows there can be enough other sources of stress.  We too are fortunate that money worries don't add to ours.

Capsu78

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 765
  • Location: Chicagoland
Re: Strong marriage
« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2015, 02:04:39 PM »
"I can't wait to be retired and get to spend most of every day with this man I am so blessed to be married to." ...  that thought is pretty much what gets my wife to the train most mornings!

She is known professionally as an excellent decision maker- yet she said yes to me and her first husband.  Go figure!

Seriously, without our strong marriage we would have never achieved what we have and I am thankful for that every day.

Gremlin

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 581
Re: Strong marriage
« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2015, 06:30:08 PM »
I don't think it's just our dreams of financial independence.  It's all our dreams.  My wife and I have small differences, but the sameses go right to our core.  She is my rock.

deborah

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 15961
  • Age: 14
  • Location: Australia or another awesome area
Re: Strong marriage
« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2015, 10:03:31 PM »
I don't think it's just our dreams of financial independence.  It's all our dreams.  My wife and I have small differences, but the sameses go right to our core.  She is my rock.
+1 He is my rock! I just dread the time when there is only one of us.

Syonyk

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4610
    • Syonyk's Project Blog
Re: Strong marriage
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2015, 02:29:00 PM »
Totally. :)  A solid marriage on the same page with each other is a thing of beauty.

It also helps to marry someone more frugal than yourself.  My wife is absolutely incredible at spending money efficiently.  She spends less to feed the three of us than I spent to feed myself.  And yet we eat radically better (tastier, healthier, more awesome).  She'll go on a "shopping spree" for the better part of a Saturday afternoon, come back having spent $50 total on a beautiful dress/skirt, some nice work clothes for her, a few dress shirts for me to wear to work, and scattered other stuff.

One of the best bits of advice I got (indirectly, by doing the opposite of what someone with a terrible marriage said) was to go to bed at the same time as your spouse.  Our time in bed, before we're asleep, curled up with each other and talking, is such a great time.  We can talk things through, figure out what we're doing in the future (days, weeks, years), and generally just be close and intimate.  And we try really hard to go to bed before we're exhausted so we have time to do that.

Solid marriages are awesome. :)

Davids

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 977
  • Location: Somewhere in the USA.
Re: Strong marriage
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2015, 02:47:11 PM »
I am lucky to have a wife who is not into big spending either. If she was a big spender buying expensive clothes, makeup, constantly getting hair and nails done or other BS then there might be problems. Thankfully she is not.

Kris

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7335
Re: Strong marriage
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2015, 05:19:10 PM »
This is absolutely crucial.  DH and I feel so fortunate that we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we're both pulling in the same direction. 

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!