spend your way to prosperity

[goateeman]

I've been thinking about a topic, that perhaps Mr. Money Mustache would write himself.

This is on the topic of spending.

Here's the thing, no one ever teaches kids how to spend.  There is no formal school curriculum on this topic, and as a result a lot of people go through life mis-spending their way to misery.

I knew there was a lot of information about how to make money, start a business, get a degree, find a job, etc.  Making money wasn't the issue... however spending is the elephant in the room that very few people address, and address well.

I am in a financially great place, and on the precipice of deciding if I ever want to work a full time job again ( http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/life-long-saver-possibly-forced-to-fire/ )... but I truly believe I'm here today because I learned how to spend.

I learned how to spend wisely, my money, and my time, the two most important assets we can build up and waste if not managed correctly.

After I got my college degree, and worked on my first few miserable jobs, I actually found myself flush with cash (relatively small to most people, but a lot to me), and I debated what to do with the money.

I decided to adopt this rule to spending my money (and later my time) :  I must spend on things (aside from critical necessities), things that pay back in either greater returns money wise, or things that make me more effective at making more money, and generally make me more successful - personally or professionally.  So this means after rent, food, car, clothes, the extra money must be spent on stuff that will make more money, or educate me, give me a new skill or improve my existing skill to be more successful, or improve my productivity. 

As a result of this self-imposed golden rule, I maxed out my retirement funds, and then spent on things like newer laptops (for self-learning of information, technology, IT and business topics, etc), high speed internet (to take advantage of the massive wealth of information online), books on investing, website building, programming, business issues, communicating better, etc... these things I acquired would be used to help me in my job directly, or help me be a more knowledgeable person indirectly, which would benefit my work or a business should I desire later.

Of course I had the occasional vacation, splurged on fine dining every once in a while, but that was the exception, not the rule.

Pretty soon this meant my net worth was growing rapidly, my career was skyrocketing, and my personal success and effectiveness was soaring.

This was one side of the equation. The other side was how to spend my time.  I had friends who are die-hard sports fans, and would watch every NBA, NFL, college football, college basketball game that was on TV when they can.  I had friends who would binge watch the latest TV drama, reality TV show, or some brainless TV or movie activity.  I also had other friends who would go partying all the time, go gamble at the casinos, or some other hobbies that didn't help them in the long run.

I decided to focus on a few things with my spare time:  health / fitness, and learning new stuff that would benefit me personally or professionally.  As a result, I started playing tennis, and then started a personal workout schedule about 10 years ago.  I go to the gym about 4-6 times per week, and lift to better health.  I have been working out consistently for about 10 years now (took a few months off now and then to attend to travel / projects, etc).  Out of all of my friends, I have the most fit and muscular body, all because I decided this was how I wanted to spend my time.

I also spend a lot of time reading and researching interesting things.  When I had cable TV, my tuner was always tuned to Science channel, Discovery, History channel, Nat Geo, etc.  I wanted something that would enlighten, educate, or entertain in a positive way, for my mind.  I despised watching mindless TV dramas, reality shows, or sports (although there was a period of time when I was a diehard Phoenix Suns fan and watched several seaons when they were on a championship run). 

As a result of my focus on self-education and improvement, I am one of the best speakers, writers, and communicators in my entire company, even though I work in IT.  As a result I am asked to speak at conferences, write blogs, and generally be the face of the company at important events.  It's all due to a commitment I made on how to spend my time a long time ago.

So bottom line, thanks to a deliberate decision on how to spend my free income and my time, I have achieved prosperity today that few of my friends can dream of.  Many of them hate their jobs and lament they wish they could retire and enjoy their leisurely activities (watching more sports, mindless dramas, or partying).  Unlike them, I can actually do that if I wished.

I think this is a very important issue that few really address well.  People make decisions on how to spend money and their time without really thinking about it.  I think people should be taught to think critically more about this topic, and how to spend their way to prosperity.

[Jalapeno]

Thanks for posting, I found your post to be an interesting read because I also make an effort to spend my free time in ways that enrich my life. One of my big goals is to eventually own my own business and I have spent countless hours for the last couple of years learning about real estate so that I can start a real estate business. It's tough sometimes because it would be easier to just have more free time and watch TV but I think in the long run this would not lead to happiness.

Along the lines of your post, I sometimes wonder if I should pay someone else to cut my lawn and clean my house so that I can spend more time on income producing activites. My cheap side prevents me from doing this and I also see it as an unnecessary luxury at my age but I still think about it from time to time. Then sometimes I see people just dedicating their life outside of work to entertainment and I wonder if I'm trying too hard. DW and I save a ton of money and live a great life and if we continue this path we will be well off whether I start a business or not so sometimes I wonder if the extra work is worth it.

I'm glad to hear it's worked out well for you!

[Accidental Fire]

I'm from Baltimore, so forgive my crass language, but where I come from we would just say "you've got your $hit together" :)

But seriously, that's what it comes down to. I'm like you, although I didn't abide so religiously to the "purchases have to make me more money" law. I'm an outdoors junkie so my gear and bike stash is huge, but those items feeds into the "I'm fitter than all of my friends" rule.  And I am, by a longshot.

It starts with parenting. My guess is that you had loving parents who instilled a drive into you that you will always have. Where I grew up in the ghettos of Baltimore, you see parents (or usually a lack of any parenting) who are out getting drunk, doing drugs (often WITH their kids), and generally ruining their children's lives.  Now before the hate-mail to this post comes in - believe me, I grew up in those environs, and I know better than most how hard or impossible it is for those folks to turn their lives around when they're born into poverty. It's horrible, and it feeds on itself.

But it starts with parenting, and parenting is the key.....

And on the fitness thing, I find it astonishing that most Americans likely take much better care of their blessed cars than they do their own bodies and health. They'll spend hours in the driveway on Saturday washing, waxing, and detailing their precious depreciating vehicle, but wouldn't even dream of going on even a 1 mile run, muchless take the stairs up one flight.  We all get ONE body in this life, and cars and material objects will come and go. But most wouldn't dream of treating their own body as well as they treat their cars.....  sad

[2Cent]

The funny thing is that it doesn't even need to be a big effort. Most people would improve their lives tremendously if they made even a small effort. 10 minutes workout, half hour of study instead of TV. Doing some networking once a month.

Unfortunately most people are just taking the path of least resistance without thinking about it.

[Kiwi Fuzz]

I second esskay1000's point about upbringing. I think I'm here despite how I was raised. There wasn't (much) drug use (alcohol, marijuana) by my parents (mostly the step parents/parents' partners) but there was certainly no help or encouragement to achieve until I was already an adult (and then it was just lecturing me that I can do better). I just don't think my parents had time - too many children, domestic abuse, and not enough resources.

On the topic of mustering even a small effort to exercise - I found this research very interesting: https://www.statnews.com/2016/12/29/fat-mice-dopamine-exercise/

It may be that once humans are overweight we literally cannot muster the 'small effort' required to exercise because our brains are effected and it's ultimately less rewarding for us in terms of chemical reward (dopamine). It's easy to judge people but I still think there's a lot left to uncover about the human body, behavior and health that would make everyone more understanding of themselves and others to the betterment of all.

[goateeman]

...
And on the fitness thing, I find it astonishing that most Americans likely take much better care of their blessed cars than they do their own bodies and health. They'll spend hours in the driveway on Saturday washing, waxing, and detailing their precious depreciating vehicle, but wouldn't even dream of going on even a 1 mile run, muchless take the stairs up one flight.  We all get ONE body in this life, and cars and material objects will come and go. But most wouldn't dream of treating their own body as well as they treat their cars.....  sad

That is the saddest and truest thing I have read about this topic.  People are lazy, and it's so hard to overcome the laziness tendency to do everything but the most essential things. 

People take health for granted until they can't have it any more.  I have a friend whose wife is a nurse.  She works at a hospital that caters to wealthy people.  She says she sees super wealthy people who fly to the hospital from all over the world to get the best health care.  One time this super rich lady flew in from Europe.  She was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She said she would trade her billion dollars for a healthy body.  It was so sad. 

Money means nothing if you have poor health.  My most valuable asset is my health and fitness. It's what makes my brain work better and smarter than my peers, so I make more money and am way happier.

[goateeman]

Thanks for posting, I found your post to be an interesting read because I also make an effort to spend my free time in ways that enrich my life. One of my big goals is to eventually own my own business and I have spent countless hours for the last couple of years learning about real estate so that I can start a real estate business. It's tough sometimes because it would be easier to just have more free time and watch TV but I think in the long run this would not lead to happiness.

Along the lines of your post, I sometimes wonder if I should pay someone else to cut my lawn and clean my house so that I can spend more time on income producing activites. My cheap side prevents me from doing this and I also see it as an unnecessary luxury at my age but I still think about it from time to time. Then sometimes I see people just dedicating their life outside of work to entertainment and I wonder if I'm trying too hard. DW and I save a ton of money and live a great life and if we continue this path we will be well off whether I start a business or not so sometimes I wonder if the extra work is worth it.

I'm glad to hear it's worked out well for you!

Congrats on your attitude!  Attitude is 90% of the difference in success, I have found.

I do pay for someone to do yard care.  With household stuff, since I work from home, I chip in with house cleaning and we all have our chores.  It's kind of a nice "meditation" when I'm doing cleaning. When I am focused on cleaning, I can think about life and various issues in the back of my mind, so I find it kind of refreshing.

This is why I also love exercise. When I'm working out, my mind is free to meditate and think random things.  It's a very spiritual experience in a lot of ways, and definitely very relaxing!

[goateeman]

I second esskay1000's point about upbringing. I think I'm here despite how I was raised. There wasn't (much) drug use (alcohol, marijuana) by my parents (mostly the step parents/parents' partners) but there was certainly no help or encouragement to achieve until I was already an adult (and then it was just lecturing me that I can do better). I just don't think my parents had time - too many children, domestic abuse, and not enough resources.

On the topic of mustering even a small effort to exercise - I found this research very interesting: https://www.statnews.com/2016/12/29/fat-mice-dopamine-exercise/

It may be that once humans are overweight we literally cannot muster the 'small effort' required to exercise because our brains are effected and it's ultimately less rewarding for us in terms of chemical reward (dopamine). It's easy to judge people but I still think there's a lot left to uncover about the human body, behavior and health that would make everyone more understanding of themselves and others to the betterment of all.

Yes I have the most awesome parents in the world, and they have shaped my life tremendously.

Also, I used to hate exercise, but I looked at it as a challenge. I wanted to get out of my comfort zone, so pushing myself was the only way.

After a while, exercise changed from pain to pleasure.  I would meditate and think about my life while working out, and it was one of the few periods of quiet and focus I could afford myself.  Whenever I was feeling bad or depressed or stressed, a simple workout would make me feel better than any medication could ever hope to do.

So exercise is my drug of choice.  It is my guilty pleasure in life.  My brain chemistry and wiring has changed now, so the single most exciting thing I look forward to, every day, is exercise.

[milliemchi]

I had friends who are die-hard sports fans, and would watch every NBA, NFL, college football, college basketball game that was on TV when they can.  I had friends who would binge watch the latest TV drama, reality TV show, or some brainless TV or movie activity.  I also had other friends who would go partying all the time, go gamble at the casinos, or some other hobbies that didn't help them in the long run.
[...]
I have achieved prosperity today that few of my friends can dream of.  Many of them hate their jobs and lament they wish they could retire and enjoy their leisurely activities (watching more sports, mindless dramas, or partying).

Ugh, it feels wrong to hear about people who seek freedom only to spend it like that. I know these things are fun, and that's why people do them, and I've done them, but fun does not a meaning of life make. I'd feel lost.

[Accidental Fire]

After a while, exercise changed from pain to pleasure.  I would meditate and think about my life while working out, and it was one of the few periods of quiet and focus I could afford myself.  Whenever I was feeling bad or depressed or stressed, a simple workout would make me feel better than any medication could ever hope to do.

So exercise is my drug of choice.  It is my guilty pleasure in life.  My brain chemistry and wiring has changed now, so the single most exciting thing I look forward to, every day, is exercise.

THIS.  Same for me goateeman.  I wasted my 20's and early 30's away drinking beer and partying, and didn't realize I had a decent weekend-level athlete inside. These days, exercise is at the core of who I am. The possibility of NOT doing a workout 6 days a week - is just not a possibility. It's built in to my lifestyle.  Of course I never set foot in a gym, that's where people go wrong. Gyms suck.  They need to find something fun. I'm either on my bike(s), my standup paddleboard(s), running, rock climbing, mountaineering, snowboarding, you get it.

The notion of spending even an hour in my driveway washing/waxing my car seems MISERABLE to me.  I simply don't care.  Using that hour for an 8 mile run is bliss.  I think my best during the run, I get dopamine release, and it makes me a better person. And oh yeah, I get to eat more too :)