Author Topic: Share your kitchen disasters...  (Read 57874 times)

Helvegen

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #150 on: July 08, 2016, 03:38:00 PM »
I made peanut dipping sauce for my chicken satay last week. My husband was practically drinking it, he thought it was so good.

I grilled more satay last night and wanted to make this dipping sauce, so I pulled out the same recipe. I learned I simply can't sub lemon for lime juice. I can't sub regular coconut milk for light. I need to learn how to read. I tasted the sauce and was like "Why is this so salty?!". Then I looked again at the recipe and realize it said 2 tsp of fish sauce, not 2 tbls. Needless to say, it came out pretty disappointing.

Sibley

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #151 on: July 09, 2016, 07:29:35 PM »
The most spectacular disasters in the kitchen come from childhood for me. I learned enough, and don't experiment, so nothing crazy now.

1. My sister decided to make a cheesecake. I make them periodically, but don't like them so it's rare. She put it a cup of salt instead of a cup of sugar. When it was realized, the half-baked cheesecake was removed from the over and thrown out.

2. Almost 20 years ago, my mom decided that she wanted to make a duck. She made it, and it came out very nicely. However, duck is very fatty, and the oven was pretty greasy afterwards. One afternoon not long afterwards, me and sis were home, parents were not, and I decided to clean the kitchen. We looked at the oven and just set it to self-clean. Some time afterwards, the oven caught on fire. I immediately turned off the self-clean cycle, but the oven was still locked. So I stood in front of it, watching the flames inside the oven, with the phone in one hand ready to call 911 and holding the fire extinguisher in the other. After a few minutes, the flames went out.

HappierAtHome

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #152 on: July 09, 2016, 07:37:04 PM »
Last night's dinner party menu was slow cooker lamb shanks. Friend gave me the recipe, I thought it was odd that there wasn't more liquid in the ingredients, but oh well. Result? Tough meat that guests couldn't even cut off the bone. We ended up giving up and eating it with our hands, caveman-style. Not exactly the meat-falling-off-the-bone result I was going for.

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #153 on: July 09, 2016, 08:11:38 PM »
Last night's dinner party menu was slow cooker lamb shanks. Friend gave me the recipe, I thought it was odd that there wasn't more liquid in the ingredients, but oh well. Result? Tough meat that guests couldn't even cut off the bone. We ended up giving up and eating it with our hands, caveman-style. Not exactly the meat-falling-off-the-bone result I was going for.

I really hope they were close friends. :)

I had a similar experience with a slow-cooker recipe. I cooked the meat for six hours and it was still quite tough. I think it would have been ok after eight or 10 hours but, you know, people like to eat before midnight.

I was using the meat in pies, so I used my immersion blender to help shred it. Of course my immersion blender picked that night to pack it in. The entire rotating blade and stick came off the handle.

Dinner turned out okay in the end, but it took me a couple of drinks to stop swearing at everything.

Different night, different group of friends for dinner, I made self-saucing chocolate pudding. Got chatting away while I was cooking, and forgot to sprinkle over the cocoa and brown sugar and pour over the brown sugar that makes the sauce. Opened the oven for pudding and found ... cake! That one I saved with a quick chocolate sauce.

Necessity is the mother of invention. And creativity in the kitchen. :)

HappierAtHome

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #154 on: July 09, 2016, 09:40:46 PM »
Last night's dinner party menu was slow cooker lamb shanks. Friend gave me the recipe, I thought it was odd that there wasn't more liquid in the ingredients, but oh well. Result? Tough meat that guests couldn't even cut off the bone. We ended up giving up and eating it with our hands, caveman-style. Not exactly the meat-falling-off-the-bone result I was going for.

I really hope they were close friends. :)

I had a similar experience with a slow-cooker recipe. I cooked the meat for six hours and it was still quite tough. I think it would have been ok after eight or 10 hours but, you know, people like to eat before midnight.

Thankfully, yes!

People are funny that way, aren't they?

Zoot

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #155 on: July 10, 2016, 10:19:16 AM »
Accidentally used soy sauce instead of Worcestershire sauce in a batch of Chex mix. Yuck!

Too many kitchen fails to count--but I had to laugh at Tick-Tock's, because one of my more memorable fails also happened making Chex Mix.

Reasoning that the Worcestershire sauce in the recipe was what made it taste so good, I doubled the amount the recipe called for, to make it even "better."

Who knew Worcestershire sauce could be so HOT!  I ended up throwing out about half the batch because I just couldn't take it.

Great thread, by the way.  :)

CheapskateWife

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #156 on: July 15, 2016, 09:59:59 AM »
One time DH made homemade apple fritters with Cayenne instead of Cinnamon :)

Warlord1986

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #157 on: July 15, 2016, 10:16:59 AM »
Not a food disaster, per se. But take my word for it. NEVER chop jalapenos bare-handed and then go get a shower and clean your nether-regions with those same bare hands. I burned for a couple of days afterward.

Don't chop jalapenos bare-handed and rub your eyes to get a speck out either. The pain. The agony.

I once emptied half a bottle of lemon-pepper into some rice for lemon-pepper rice. I ate it all because I didn't have enough money to throw out food, but it was awful.

I've also made some runny omelets in my time.

geekette

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #158 on: July 15, 2016, 10:23:31 AM »
Accidentally used soy sauce instead of Worcestershire sauce in a batch of Chex mix. Yuck!

Too many kitchen fails to count--but I had to laugh at Tick-Tock's, because one of my more memorable fails also happened making Chex Mix.

Reasoning that the Worcestershire sauce in the recipe was what made it taste so good, I doubled the amount the recipe called for, to make it even "better."

Who knew Worcestershire sauce could be so HOT!  I ended up throwing out about half the batch because I just couldn't take it.

Great thread, by the way.  :)

Funny, that's our standard recipe!  I've never noticed any "heat". Different brands?

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #159 on: July 15, 2016, 10:44:03 AM »
Another throwing DH under the bus...

He loves waffles, and will make up a homemade batch over the weekend, freeze them, and throw them in the toaster on work days.  So Saturday mornings look like an eggo waffle factory and instead of making us all wait for him to finish the last one, he unplugs the device to let that last one cook without burning, and comes to sit down with us to eat.  We all clean up, breakfast was delicious sweetie, pecks on the cheek.

Well, we go on vacation for 2 weeks, visit relatives, etc...its a full 2 months before he is ready to make waffles again.  Turns out that last waffle stayed in the wafflemaker the whole time.  It was blue and we only found that out after he got a screwdriver out and pried the thing open.  It was so petrified that it pulled the non-stick coating off the plates.

Off to Target to buy a new waffle maker!

onehair

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #160 on: July 15, 2016, 11:39:27 AM »
My first gravies you could cut with a knife and fork I remember my grandmother commanding me not to make any more lol.  Also half cooked fried chicken my other grandmother shaking her head when I complained it was always red in the middle you have to cook it 10 minutes per side was her rule.  Not soaking dried beans first then boiling them was like eating half solid bullets....



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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #161 on: July 15, 2016, 11:48:07 AM »
Tried grilling sockeye salmon last night.  Turned out mushy and inedible for some reason.  Took a few bites and tossed it in the trash.  A little while later I hear Mrs Nut yelling -- one of our dogs had knocked over the garbage can and was happily eating the salmon.  At least someone in the house likes my cooking.

SoccerLounge

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #162 on: July 15, 2016, 12:02:24 PM »
Another throwing DH under the bus...

He loves waffles, and will make up a homemade batch over the weekend, freeze them, and throw them in the toaster on work days.  So Saturday mornings look like an eggo waffle factory and instead of making us all wait for him to finish the last one, he unplugs the device to let that last one cook without burning, and comes to sit down with us to eat.  We all clean up, breakfast was delicious sweetie, pecks on the cheek.

Well, we go on vacation for 2 weeks, visit relatives, etc...its a full 2 months before he is ready to make waffles again.  Turns out that last waffle stayed in the wafflemaker the whole time.  It was blue and we only found that out after he got a screwdriver out and pried the thing open.  It was so petrified that it pulled the non-stick coating off the plates.

Off to Target to buy a new waffle maker!

Oh my word, that is nasty. But funny!


Miss Piggy

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #163 on: July 15, 2016, 12:09:36 PM »
Not a food disaster, per se. But take my word for it. NEVER chop jalapenos bare-handed and then go get a shower and clean your nether-regions with those same bare hands. I burned for a couple of days afterward.

Okay, I'm a little late to the party here, but this made ma laugh out loud. I think I'll just stop reading this thread now because nothing will beat it.

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #164 on: July 15, 2016, 04:15:39 PM »
My first gravies you could cut with a knife and fork...

My husband made gravy you could stand a spoon up in.

After a couple of years the consistency has improved, but the volume is still way out. Two of us for dinner? Half a litre of gravy!

nora

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #165 on: July 16, 2016, 12:02:54 AM »
Two husband examples:

The recipe for a packet of pasta and carbonara sauce called for two tablespoons of salt
reduced polyunsaturated spread. Yes the 'salt' was on one line and the 'reduced polyunsaturated spread' was on the next line. So he added two tablespoons of salt. It only serves two. One taste and I knew it was all wrong. Of course he denied doing anything wrong until I retrieved the packet from the rubbish and realised what had happened! Then we both fell about laughing at how rediculous the instructions were.

Another salty error.. The recipe for a chinese stirfry, said to add four tablespoons of chicken stock (meaning chicken stock liquid). The only chicken stock in the house was chicken stock powder so in it went. Another one I couldn't eat and which required recipe analysis to realise the issue.




Zoot

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #166 on: July 17, 2016, 06:56:52 AM »
Reasoning that the Worcestershire sauce in the recipe was what made it taste so good, I doubled the amount the recipe called for, to make it even "better."

Who knew Worcestershire sauce could be so HOT!  I ended up throwing out about half the batch because I just couldn't take it.

Funny, that's our standard recipe!  I've never noticed any "heat". Different brands?

Good question--it was so long ago that I don't recall the details or the brand.  What may be at issue is that I'm very sensitive to some flavors and just got overwhelmed by the taste.  It wasn't "hot" like capsaicin "hot"--just very, very, spicy/intense in a way I ended up not being able to tolerate.

You make me curious, though--this was about 20 years ago and my memory has faded on it a bit; I may try making a similar batch now just to see what happens.  Who knows--maybe the Worcestershire sauce I was using had gone "off" or I tripled it instead of doubling it; only way to find out is to try again.  One benefit:  unlike 20 years ago, I now have a husband in my life, one who would probably LOVE the more intensely-flavored stuff, and will happily finish off the batch eventually even if I can't stomach it.  :)

Bracken_Joy

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #167 on: July 17, 2016, 07:39:25 AM »
A friend, not me, but I caused it, so here we go:

I make my own taco seasoning, and make spicy tacos. My friend also likes spicy tacos. After coming for dinner one night, he asked how we do our tacos. I sent him the recipe and mentioned that, instead of water, we use tapatio (hot sauce) in with the seasoning.

He calls a few days later. I guess he decided that "use instead of" meant "use the same amount of water his packet of taco seasoning calls for, and replace that 1:1 with tapatio". Guys, he used ONE CUP of hot sauce in his tacos. For 2 lbs of beef.

Yeah.... pretty sure he threw that away.
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Inaya

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #168 on: July 18, 2016, 02:01:47 PM »
Not a food disaster, per se. But take my word for it. NEVER chop jalapenos bare-handed and then go get a shower and clean your nether-regions with those same bare hands. I burned for a couple of days afterward.

Okay, I'm a little late to the party here, but this made ma laugh out loud. I think I'll just stop reading this thread now because nothing will beat it.
My aunt was roasting jalapenos and changed her tampon without washing her hands first. I don't think that's a mistake you ever repeat.


I was making jalapeno jelly once, and I didn't realize it until the day after, but I had inhaled enough of the steam to get very minor chemical burns on my esophagus and lungs.
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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #169 on: July 18, 2016, 03:16:43 PM »
I was cooking a quick stir-fry one morning to use up meat and veggies for work lunches. Beef, snow peas, bird's eye chillies, etc.

Later, while eating breakfast, I rubbed my eye.

Eye felt funny, rubbed it again.

That's how I ended up with my head in the sink and my husband on the phone to my mum while he poured milk on my face.

Noodle

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #170 on: October 02, 2016, 09:43:44 PM »
This thread always makes me feel better when I have a kitchen mishap. Today it was a "healthy" breakfast casserole that was so awful the whole thing went right into the trash. I think it was probably 50% my fault (I was trying to adjust for the ingredients I had on hand) and 50% the recipe's issues. I also made a chicken salad that came out a little too salty (I didn't realize how much salt the spice mix I was using had) but still edible.

Primm

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #171 on: October 03, 2016, 01:24:47 AM »
Husband had a pizza shop employee who decided to go out the back and have a quick "play"* one night at work straight after making a pizza with jalapeņos on it. No hand washing involved, apparently. 

Despite the shop having about 70% female employees, he had no hesitation in running inside with his pants around his ankles and washing his boy bits off in the mop sink. Apparently it wasn't a pleasant experience.

*He was on an unpaid break, and in the staff toilet. But still...

justchristine

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #172 on: October 03, 2016, 06:10:46 AM »
I love this thread.  It makes me feel much better about my cooking since most of my IRL friends are good cooks and tease me about my cooking attempts.  I have lots of fails but the worst and most consistent fails involve cooking while talking to my mom.

I live in another state from my folks so we keep in touch with a lengthy phone call each Sunday.  I usually do housework or cooking while we chat.  One time I was chatting on the phone and putting together a batch of chocolate chip cookies for the monthly potluck at work.  As we chatted, I mixed the ingredients and started to dab the dough onto the cookie sheets.  I noticed the texture wasn't quite right and the dough wasn't sticking together very well.  My mom suggested I double check the ingredients.  I quickly glanced at everything still sitting on the counter and it all looked right so I kept going.  When I pulled the cookies out of the oven (still on the phone) they were crumbling as I put them on the cooling rack.  My mom and I puzzle over this for a little bit and I eventually hang up.  A little while later I went to get something to drink from the fridge when it hits me that I forgot to add eggs to the cookies.

A year or so later I was home for Christmas and helping my mom make pumpkin pies for the holiday dinner.  We got chatting, measuring and mixing in true mother/daughter fashion.  Everything was going well until we cut the first piece and it tasted incredibly salty.  From what we can figure, there was a tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon.

The next year at Christmas, we were again baking and chatting when we mixed up another measurement or ingredient.  I forget what we ended up mixing up but again the result was not good.  Since then my father has forbidden us from talking when we are baking together.

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #173 on: October 03, 2016, 08:03:25 AM »
I saw and made that Pinterest Oreo crispy treat.  The great unrealized part about normal rice crispy treats is that they are rich yet there is air so they are pretty easy to eat. The Oreo version is tar. It is thick tar. You will never crae the airy light feeling of a normal treat more than while eating the Oreo treat. I ended up tossing it out as it was not fit for eating.
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Bracken_Joy

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #174 on: October 03, 2016, 08:18:07 AM »
This week has had a couple disasters for me:
Made one of those "no bake cocoa peanut butter oat bar" recipes, where you melt together the cocoa, honey, oil, and PB, then mix in the raw oats and pat out, then put in the fridge. Just hard like raw oats. I keep hoping they'll soften, but after 3 days now, I've lost hope. It's like gritty fudge.

Broke out a nice big steak from the freezer last night. Very, very freezerburnt. We ended up having to cut it in little bite size pieces and brown individually, then mix with rice and BBQ sauce. Even still, some pieces were inedible. This is what happens when your seal on a vacuum seal pack goes out... bleh.

I'm sure more disasters are forthcoming, since I'm trying a lot of new recipes right now and working on meal planning.
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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #175 on: October 03, 2016, 08:48:43 AM »
I love this thread.  It makes me feel much better about my cooking since most of my IRL friends are good cooks and tease me about my cooking attempts.  I have lots of fails but the worst and most consistent fails involve cooking while talking to my mom.

*snip*

I have been complimented on my cooking a few times.  I AM NOT A GOOD COOK.  What I am is someone who will not bring a recipe to a party/prepare it for friends unless it is something I have made at least a few times already.  My friends never get the first-try pie that all leaked out the top, or the second-try soup that went so well the first time that surely I can relax a bit...  I'm betting that they are seeing all of your cooking fails as you see none of theirs, but the numbers might be closer than you think.

Also, I don't talk to people while cooking unless it is something dead easy like the weekly pizza crust (and even then my speed is cut).



Semi-disaster:

The first time I tried a recipe for crockpot "refried" beans, I threw the soaked beans, two onions, four cloves garlic, cumin, coriander, salt, and water into the pot, set it for 8 hours on high in the kitchen, went to bed...and awoke to the most terrible stench that had seeped into every corner of the apartment.  It was the middle of winter, but I had to turn off the heat and throw open every window to try to clear the air.

I thought I had botched up the recipe.  Nope!  There was enough water, and all the ingredients were in the correct proportions.  The beans mashed up perfectly, and they tasted delicious.  It's just a really stinky recipe.  A little whiff of the scent while cooking is actually quite nice, but it is overwhelming in excessive amounts in close quarters.  So now the crockpot sits outside the apartment when I make that recipe.
Go soak your beans.  You know you keep forgetting.

Bracken_Joy

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #176 on: October 03, 2016, 09:01:16 AM »
Semi-disaster:

The first time I tried a recipe for crockpot "refried" beans, I threw the soaked beans, two onions, four cloves garlic, cumin, coriander, salt, and water into the pot, set it for 8 hours on high in the kitchen, went to bed...and awoke to the most terrible stench that had seeped into every corner of the apartment.  It was the middle of winter, but I had to turn off the heat and throw open every window to try to clear the air.

I thought I had botched up the recipe.  Nope!  There was enough water, and all the ingredients were in the correct proportions.  The beans mashed up perfectly, and they tasted delicious.  It's just a really stinky recipe.  A little whiff of the scent while cooking is actually quite nice, but it is overwhelming in excessive amounts in close quarters.  So now the crockpot sits outside the apartment when I make that recipe.

This is one of the reasons I love the instant pot. Beans and broth can be so, so stinky in the crockpot. The IP has no smell until you open it. Super helpful, because I am very prone to nausea when I'm first awake. If I wake up to food smells, it just ruins me for the day.
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Dollar Slice

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #177 on: October 03, 2016, 09:55:03 AM »
This week has had a couple disasters for me:
Made one of those "no bake cocoa peanut butter oat bar" recipes, where you melt together the cocoa, honey, oil, and PB, then mix in the raw oats and pat out, then put in the fridge. Just hard like raw oats. I keep hoping they'll soften, but after 3 days now, I've lost hope. It's like gritty fudge.

My mom used to make something like that (although I'm pretty sure it was sugar instead of honey) and it is definitely like gritty fudge (sugar crystally gritty, not sand gritty), but it was still good.

I did discover that her recipe does not work right with natural/fresh-ground peanut butter...
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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #178 on: October 03, 2016, 10:01:38 AM »
I had just graduated college, moved into first apartment, decided to have friends over and make lasagna.  Bought a new dish that came with a blue lid.  Recipe said to cook the lasagna covered. I pondered..."does that mean with foil?  wait, my new dish has a lid. hmm...will it melt?  Surely not!  It came with a dish that goes in the oven!".  Yeah, you know it...melted blue plastic all over the lasagna! 

GuitarStv

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #179 on: October 03, 2016, 10:09:25 AM »
I will admit to under-cooking poultry on a great many occasions.  This has led to a couple astonishingly terrible cases of food poisoning.

Meat thermometers are a frickin' godsend.

geekette

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #180 on: October 03, 2016, 10:11:52 AM »
This week has had a couple disasters for me:
Made one of those "no bake cocoa peanut butter oat bar" recipes, where you melt together the cocoa, honey, oil, and PB, then mix in the raw oats and pat out, then put in the fridge. Just hard like raw oats. I keep hoping they'll soften, but after 3 days now, I've lost hope. It's like gritty fudge.

My mom used to make something like that (although I'm pretty sure it was sugar instead of honey) and it is definitely like gritty fudge (sugar crystally gritty, not sand gritty), but it was still good.

I did discover that her recipe does not work right with natural/fresh-ground peanut butter...
We made something like that called "Raggedy Robins" - cocoa, peanut butter, butter, sugar, milk, vanilla, and rolled oats.  Boiled and dropped by the tablespoon onto waxed paper (anyone use that any more?)  Had the texture of cheap fudge, but *some* nutrition, and they were popular with us as kids.

Lis

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #181 on: October 03, 2016, 11:26:01 AM »
Oh god this thread... I'm so happy it resurfaced!

Growing up I would make taco rice, which is a packet of taco seasoning, chicken broth, tomato sauce, and boxed minute rice. Have it with chicken or tofu, cheese, sour cream, tomatoes... so versatile and delicious! It was also my go to meal when I was in college in a dorm and didn't have access to anything except a microwave.

Fast forward a few years, when I'm a fully functioning adult with my own kitchen and appliances. I bought a rice cooker on sale and was eager to try my favorite comfort food, and with REAL rice! (I had tried to make it with real rice on the stove top several times, but between a faulty stovetop that only had two settings (high and off) and my complete and utter inability to cook a "small" (less than four cups) of rice on a functioning stove top, I had given up and continued to make it with Minute Rice in the microwave). So yay, rice cooker, real rice... AND I'm going to make my own taco seasoning!

Chili powder and cayenne pepper are totally the same thing, right? And two tablespoons isn't that much! :/

My boyfriend at the time was over and thought something was off while it was cooking (said it smelled spicy, and I thought he was full of it). I have chips, cheese, and sour cream all ready to go... and it was inedible. He managed to get three bites down before he begged we order pizza. I also made a double batch (I lived alone and BF was going to be traveling for a week, so it was just me for dinner. Why I decided to make 8-10 servings, only the Italian in me can answer).

I don't remember if I managed to finish it... I doubt it. I mixed it with sour cream, greek yogurt, queso, extra cheese. I had a stomach ache for a week.

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #182 on: October 03, 2016, 02:33:47 PM »
There was a time, I got into homemade wine...Wild grapes are delicious, peach is heaven, freezer burned mixed berries divine....Pumpkin, not so much.

Disagree!  My Plump Pumpkin gets rave reviews.  Needs more brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg and clove :)

Goldielocks

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #183 on: October 03, 2016, 11:08:39 PM »
This week has had a couple disasters for me:
Made one of those "no bake cocoa peanut butter oat bar" recipes, where you melt together the cocoa, honey, oil, and PB, then mix in the raw oats and pat out, then put in the fridge. Just hard like raw oats. I keep hoping they'll soften, but after 3 days now, I've lost hope. It's like gritty fudge.



Need to use 1 minute "quick" or instant oats... not large flake, old fashioned, or steel cut oats.  or pulse whole oats in food processor first... These are awesome, but do include the warning about using oats... 

http://www.averiecooks.com/2014/05/no-bake-double-chocolate-peanut-butter-granola-bars.html

Digital Dogma

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #184 on: October 04, 2016, 07:35:01 AM »
I have been saving all my veggy scraps in a 5 gallon ziplock bag in the freezer for about 2 months now and decided last night to try and make a veggy broth out of it. I had red onion, yellow onion, celery, a few herbs like dill, and garlic bits in there. After simmering for an hour and a half I noticed it looked kinda red, so I took a sip... most bitter tasting "tea" I've ever had.

Into the toilet/garbage with that.

Bracken_Joy

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #185 on: October 04, 2016, 07:40:35 AM »
This week has had a couple disasters for me:
Made one of those "no bake cocoa peanut butter oat bar" recipes, where you melt together the cocoa, honey, oil, and PB, then mix in the raw oats and pat out, then put in the fridge. Just hard like raw oats. I keep hoping they'll soften, but after 3 days now, I've lost hope. It's like gritty fudge.



Need to use 1 minute "quick" or instant oats... not large flake, old fashioned, or steel cut oats.  or pulse whole oats in food processor first... These are awesome, but do include the warning about using oats... 

http://www.averiecooks.com/2014/05/no-bake-double-chocolate-peanut-butter-granola-bars.html

Ding ding ding, we have a winner kids. That is EXACTLY what happens, sounds like! I used old fashioned rolled. To me that's what "oats" means! Recipe didn't say any differently. That is a bit annoying!
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Mtngrl

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #186 on: October 04, 2016, 08:04:08 AM »
The first year we were in Colorado I decided to make pecan pie at Thanksgiving -- as I had every year.  Um, pecan pie at altitude does not behave like pecan pie at sea level. The pie puffed up like Jiffy Pop and exploded in the oven. We were in a rental and I remember a lot of cursing and tears as I scrubbed baked-on syrupy goo off the oven.

Now I have a high-altitude pecan pie recipe that calls for partially cooking the filling before you put it in the pie shell and I don't have this problem, but for years I was scared to bake pecan pie again.

Oh -- and that first year in Colorado I also went to the store to buy apples for an apple pie. The produce guy asked what I was looking for and I told him I wanted apples for a pie. He looked me right in the eye and said "Honey, go get one out of the freezer case. Apples never get done here.) (They do, but you have to cut them into very small pieces.)

With This Herring

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #187 on: October 04, 2016, 01:23:00 PM »
I have been saving all my veggy scraps in a 5 gallon ziplock bag in the freezer for about 2 months now and decided last night to try and make a veggy broth out of it. I had red onion, yellow onion, celery, a few herbs like dill, and garlic bits in there. After simmering for an hour and a half I noticed it looked kinda red, so I took a sip... most bitter tasting "tea" I've ever had.

Into the toilet/garbage with that.

!!!  I thought I was the only one!  I've seen those broth-by-scraps recipes everywhere, but mine ended up so bitter!  I know you are supposed to avoid cruciferous veggies such as broccoli and cabbage, but mine was still bitter.  I'm wondering if celery is secretly sabotaging my broth, as it is sometimes bitter-tasting.  Does anyone know what we are doing incorrectly?

Also, that altitude cooking stuff seems crazy to me.  If I ran into a situation like that, I would assume the house was possessed. (kidding, kind of)
Go soak your beans.  You know you keep forgetting.

Digital Dogma

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #188 on: October 04, 2016, 01:26:46 PM »
I have been saving all my veggy scraps in a 5 gallon ziplock bag in the freezer for about 2 months now and decided last night to try and make a veggy broth out of it. I had red onion, yellow onion, celery, a few herbs like dill, and garlic bits in there. After simmering for an hour and a half I noticed it looked kinda red, so I took a sip... most bitter tasting "tea" I've ever had.

Into the toilet/garbage with that.

!!!  I thought I was the only one!  I've seen those broth-by-scraps recipes everywhere, but mine ended up so bitter!  I know you are supposed to avoid cruciferous veggies such as broccoli and cabbage, but mine was still bitter.  I'm wondering if celery is secretly sabotaging my broth, as it is sometimes bitter-tasting.  Does anyone know what we are doing incorrectly?

Also, that altitude cooking stuff seems crazy to me.  If I ran into a situation like that, I would assume the house was possessed. (kidding, kind of)
I too avoided cabbage or broccoli. Additionally, my scraps (especially onion scraps) include the cut-off stem piece and skins which may be contributing to bitter flavors. I used maybe a half a gallon of water which was just enough to cover the scraps, and let it go for an hour and a half before tasting. Perhaps I didn't use enough water? I doubt it, but it could be a factor.

Did you notice a red color as well? I chalked that up to the few tomato tops and red onion scrap I threw into the mix.

All I can say is - I'll stick with meat scraps for soup till I work that bitterness out.
« Last Edit: October 04, 2016, 01:29:06 PM by Digital Dogma »

With This Herring

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #189 on: October 04, 2016, 01:37:22 PM »
I have been saving all my veggy scraps in a 5 gallon ziplock bag in the freezer for about 2 months now and decided last night to try and make a veggy broth out of it. I had red onion, yellow onion, celery, a few herbs like dill, and garlic bits in there. After simmering for an hour and a half I noticed it looked kinda red, so I took a sip... most bitter tasting "tea" I've ever had.

Into the toilet/garbage with that.

!!!  I thought I was the only one!  I've seen those broth-by-scraps recipes everywhere, but mine ended up so bitter!  I know you are supposed to avoid cruciferous veggies such as broccoli and cabbage, but mine was still bitter.  I'm wondering if celery is secretly sabotaging my broth, as it is sometimes bitter-tasting.  Does anyone know what we are doing incorrectly?

Also, that altitude cooking stuff seems crazy to me.  If I ran into a situation like that, I would assume the house was possessed. (kidding, kind of)
I too avoided cabbage or broccoli. Additionally, my scraps (especially onion scraps) include the cut-off stem piece and skins which may be contributing to bitter flavors. I used maybe a half a gallon of water which was just enough to cover the scraps, and let it go for an hour and a half before tasting. Perhaps I didn't use enough water? I doubt it, but it could be a factor.

Did you notice a red color as well? I chalked that up to the few tomato tops and red onion scrap I threw into the mix.

All I can say is - I'll stick with meat scraps for soup till I work that bitterness out.

Mine was not red, but I had almost no red onion.  Mine was primarily scraps of yellow onion, carrot, celery, bell pepper, garlic, and maybe some green bean pieces.    I cooked mine in a slow cooker, following these instructions: http://www.ayearofslowcooking.com/2011/04/how-to-make-vegetable-broth-using-your.html
Go soak your beans.  You know you keep forgetting.

Dollar Slice

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #190 on: October 04, 2016, 01:37:45 PM »
I once made a beef stock, and spent a lot of money on ingredients since I used oxtail instead of scraps... and I did everything according to the recipe and did every damn thing right, and it basically tasted like dirt. There was no meat flavor at all. It was incredibly gelatinous (after refrigeration it was about the texture of a tire). I have no idea what went wrong and I've never tried to make it since. I make fabulous chicken stocks all the time. Beef? Not going there.
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Redstone5

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #191 on: October 04, 2016, 04:30:45 PM »
I spent hours simmering the most wonderful turkey stock, only to pour it right down the drain because I forgot to put a bowl in the sink first before I strained it.

Bracken_Joy

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #192 on: October 04, 2016, 04:39:07 PM »
I spent hours simmering the most wonderful turkey stock, only to pour it right down the drain because I forgot to put a bowl in the sink first before I strained it.

Oh my god. First I laughed, and then I sympathy shriveled for you. I probably would have cried.
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Redstone5

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #193 on: October 04, 2016, 04:42:08 PM »
I spent hours simmering the most wonderful turkey stock, only to pour it right down the drain because I forgot to put a bowl in the sink first before I strained it.

Oh my god. First I laughed, and then I sympathy shriveled for you. I probably would have cried.

And of course, the whole house had the most delicious aroma of turkey soup for hours afterwards, but not a drop to actually eat :(

With This Herring

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #194 on: October 04, 2016, 07:56:05 PM »
I spent hours simmering the most wonderful turkey stock, only to pour it right down the drain because I forgot to put a bowl in the sink first before I strained it.

Oh my god. First I laughed, and then I sympathy shriveled for you. I probably would have cried.

And of course, the whole house had the most delicious aroma of turkey soup for hours afterwards, but not a drop to actually eat :(

Isn't that one of those mythical Greek torments?  Guy who has to roll a rock up the hill forever, guy who continually has his liver torn out, and the guy who could see water and food but it retreated from his reach?  Redstone5 who can prepare and smell delicious turkey broth but can never consume it.  You poor thing.

[Sisyphus, Prometheus, and Tantalus]
Go soak your beans.  You know you keep forgetting.

Redstone5

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #195 on: October 05, 2016, 10:07:37 AM »
I spent hours simmering the most wonderful turkey stock, only to pour it right down the drain because I forgot to put a bowl in the sink first before I strained it.

Oh my god. First I laughed, and then I sympathy shriveled for you. I probably would have cried.

And of course, the whole house had the most delicious aroma of turkey soup for hours afterwards, but not a drop to actually eat :(

Isn't that one of those mythical Greek torments?  Guy who has to roll a rock up the hill forever, guy who continually has his liver torn out, and the guy who could see water and food but it retreated from his reach?  Redstone5 who can prepare and smell delicious turkey broth but can never consume it.  You poor thing.

[Sisyphus, Prometheus, and Tantalus]

Ha! And it would be the perfect punishment for me since I love food. I sometimes fall asleep at night remembering "great meals I've eaten in the past".

Catbert

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #196 on: October 05, 2016, 12:03:28 PM »
I have been saving all my veggy scraps in a 5 gallon ziplock bag in the freezer for about 2 months now and decided last night to try and make a veggy broth out of it. I had red onion, yellow onion, celery, a few herbs like dill, and garlic bits in there. After simmering for an hour and a half I noticed it looked kinda red, so I took a sip... most bitter tasting "tea" I've ever had.

Into the toilet/garbage with that.

Don't include too much of the papery outer leaves of the onion.  That'll make it bitter.   

!!!  I thought I was the only one!  I've seen those broth-by-scraps recipes everywhere, but mine ended up so bitter!  I know you are supposed to avoid cruciferous veggies such as broccoli and cabbage, but mine was still bitter.  I'm wondering if celery is secretly sabotaging my broth, as it is sometimes bitter-tasting.  Does anyone know what we are doing incorrectly?

Also, that altitude cooking stuff seems crazy to me.  If I ran into a situation like that, I would assume the house was possessed. (kidding, kind of)
I too avoided cabbage or broccoli. Additionally, my scraps (especially onion scraps) include the cut-off stem piece and skins which may be contributing to bitter flavors. I used maybe a half a gallon of water which was just enough to cover the scraps, and let it go for an hour and a half before tasting. Perhaps I didn't use enough water? I doubt it, but it could be a factor.

Did you notice a red color as well? I chalked that up to the few tomato tops and red onion scrap I threw into the mix.

All I can say is - I'll stick with meat scraps for soup till I work that bitterness out.

Mine was not red, but I had almost no red onion.  Mine was primarily scraps of yellow onion, carrot, celery, bell pepper, garlic, and maybe some green bean pieces.    I cooked mine in a slow cooker, following these instructions: http://www.ayearofslowcooking.com/2011/04/how-to-make-vegetable-broth-using-your.html

erinw

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #197 on: October 05, 2016, 02:31:54 PM »
Should've learned how to cook before college but didn't, lived in a dorm all 4 years of college so got by subsisting on cafeteria food and ramen, so I began the process of learning to cook when I graduated. It's been over 2 years now, and I have to say I'm still learning some incredibly obvious things. For example (and I'm still cringing over how obvious this is and I should've known better), last December I decided I'd make some baked goods for my bosses/people at work. My kitchen is depressingly tiny, so I turned the oven on to preheat, and then decided to combine my wet/dry ingredients with the bowl sitting on the stove because counter space was full of other stuff. Immediately my batter started rising and I just thought "huh, that's funny." Shocker, my poppyseed bread loaves came out incredibly flat and not at all appealing-looking. They tasted great, but I figured since I was giving these as gifts to people who weren't friends/family, I'd suck it up and go back out to the grocery store to get enough ingredients for a round 2.

I'm still at the point where I'm not confident enough in my abilities to make up recipes on my own, so for the most part I am reliant on internet recipes. I haven't had too many awful failures there, but some things have turned out incredibly bland. Guess I need to figure out the optimal level for spices so I can add more when a recipe seems low on them.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #198 on: October 05, 2016, 04:26:10 PM »
Canadian Thanksgiving is this weekend, that should generate some good stories.

When I was little we went camping with Brownies.  I was responsible for the oatmeal porridge one morning, and did everything right.  The leader didn't believe I had put the salt in, so she put the salt in.  Very salty porridge, inedible, but I was vindicated.  Did she apologize? No.

My worst kitchen disaster was not food related - I had a big kitchen spoon, metal with a plastic handle, near the stove. I picked it up and the plastic had softened from the heat, the metal part came away from the handle and flipped and hit the inside of my arm - good long  burn.  Much cold running water and much aloe vera were applied.  It hurt something awful but I managed to not scar.  Young and foolish, many years ago.  I learned to be careful in the kitchen.
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GuitarStv

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Re: Share your kitchen disasters...
« Reply #199 on: October 06, 2016, 08:33:20 AM »
I have been saving all my veggy scraps in a 5 gallon ziplock bag in the freezer for about 2 months now and decided last night to try and make a veggy broth out of it. I had red onion, yellow onion, celery, a few herbs like dill, and garlic bits in there. After simmering for an hour and a half I noticed it looked kinda red, so I took a sip... most bitter tasting "tea" I've ever had.

Into the toilet/garbage with that.

Don't include too much of the papery outer leaves of the onion.  That'll make it bitter.   

!!!  I thought I was the only one!  I've seen those broth-by-scraps recipes everywhere, but mine ended up so bitter!  I know you are supposed to avoid cruciferous veggies such as broccoli and cabbage, but mine was still bitter.  I'm wondering if celery is secretly sabotaging my broth, as it is sometimes bitter-tasting.  Does anyone know what we are doing incorrectly?

Also, that altitude cooking stuff seems crazy to me.  If I ran into a situation like that, I would assume the house was possessed. (kidding, kind of)
I too avoided cabbage or broccoli. Additionally, my scraps (especially onion scraps) include the cut-off stem piece and skins which may be contributing to bitter flavors. I used maybe a half a gallon of water which was just enough to cover the scraps, and let it go for an hour and a half before tasting. Perhaps I didn't use enough water? I doubt it, but it could be a factor.

Did you notice a red color as well? I chalked that up to the few tomato tops and red onion scrap I threw into the mix.

All I can say is - I'll stick with meat scraps for soup till I work that bitterness out.

Mine was not red, but I had almost no red onion.  Mine was primarily scraps of yellow onion, carrot, celery, bell pepper, garlic, and maybe some green bean pieces.    I cooked mine in a slow cooker, following these instructions: http://www.ayearofslowcooking.com/2011/04/how-to-make-vegetable-broth-using-your.html

I like to chew on celery leaves, and every once in a while they can be powerfully bitter.  I bet that they were the source of your problem.