Scared of the Ho-Hum Life

[FIREGuy]

Hi all! Long time lurker first-time poster here.

I found MMM back in January and have fallen into a daily ritual of checking for new articles and reading the forums. Lot's of great stuff.

My wife and I have recently bought a house (duplex where we are renting out one unit) and are saving not to the levels of some on here, but reasonable so far - I'm maxing 401k and setting up an IRA, she is getting here 403b set where she will be close to maxing. Our combined income is $110k gross and I haven't done all the math yet, but I think we may be close to putting away $40k a year.

I don't like my job so FI has become a full-time hobby (obsession) and all I can think about is how good it will feel to get there. The thing I battle with all the time is the idea of living a "ho-hum life". I go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch some TV and go to bed. Weekends may be hanging out with friends and going for a run, but other than that there is not a ton of exciting things going on. I know it has been said before on here that saving money and moving towards FI is boring, but I get terrified that my wife and I will fall into this rut and slowly start to be ok with this "ho-hum life".

Anyone else feel this way? Any tips on how to break the monotony of saving?

[soccerluvof4]

Keep working that Job you hate and you will someday appreciate a Ho-Hum life. I know I have been there and nothing wrong with Ho-Hum. On another note you just need to find more things to do that don't cost money and there are plenty of them out there. Plan your fun around those events first then if you find life boring fill the gaps with things that maybe cost money.

[Cranky]

What would you do all day if you were retired?

I'm not the right person to answer, I'm sure, because I adore my ho-hum life, but it sounds like you need an interest. Grow something. Find people to play board games with. Join a softball team. Carve wooden spoons. Buy stuff at Goodwill and sell it on ebay.

[Spiffsome]

I'd strongly recommend a creative hobby. It's fairly easy to start something like woodworking, gardening or sewing with minimal cash up front. The buzz from holding something in your hands that you made yourself is one hell of a boost and it stops you from pissing away your life in front of the TV.

Write. Draw. Download a free copy of Gimp and make obscene photoshopped pictures. Anything that will get you learning a new skill, and break you out of the evening routine

[Slyder22]

My wife and I, felt the same way. Then I read the beauty of card churning - travel hacking. We take 3-4 staycations a year and 1-2 big vacations. So, now we focus on fire and day dream about our next get away. Our staycations usually cost us $0, while our bigger trips cost us more but stil minimal to us at $100-$300. MMM truely does offer frugal ways of accomplishing anything.

[FIREGuy]

I think the biggest thing is I see friends who are taking trips to places around the globe and get jealous when I am sitting here in my cubicle working away. I know it will all be different in 10 years or so when I am traveling the world and they are still slaving away, but the grind is tough right now.

I have not looked too much into travel hacking but I think that may be the route I would like to go to spice things up a bit.

[Tetsuya Hondo]

I completely understand and have felt that way too. But, one of the underlying tenets of Mustachianism (or so I think), is that the best things in life are free. Getting involved in local groups or charities, hanging out with friends, picking up a new skill, doing DIY stuff, making meals from scratch with friends or family, reading a good book, going camping or hiking, etc. etc. are all cheap or free activities.

Even travel can be done on the cheap. Definitely look into the travel hacking, but also take a closer look at what's closer to home. Even after 8 years in my current location, I'm still finding new places to visit and interesting day trips. Hell, even planning and plotting out cheap activities can be kind of fun too.

[the_fixer]

I have a friend that it was his goal to visit every state park in Colorado do you live somewhere that you could make it a goal to see all of the historic, natural or other things that are interesting in your area?

You could take it even further and make / post videos and a blog potentially generating passive income and growing a readership for your future travels if you wanted to go that way.

Just a though from the new guy

[Tetsuya Hondo]

A few more random thoughts: if your life is ho-hum, you're doing MMM wrong. Pursuing FI shouldn't mean wearing a hair shirt and whipping yourself all day in a bare room under a single 40 watt bulb that you use to heat your house with. It's not sustainable. Unless you're a complete masochist, you'll eventually say fuck that and fall off the wagon.

IMHO, pursuing FI shouldn't mean that you deprive yourself. It just means you seek satisfaction and enrichment from things that don't have high price tags. It requires a bit more homework but offers a lot more reward, both personnally and financially.

[Yankuba]

If you have kids you will wish your life was ho-hum again

[onlykelsey]

If you have kids you will wish your life was ho-hum again

If they get hit by a truck or get cancer or have their roof start caving in they will probably wish that as well.  I'm not sure what that adds here, or how it's responsive to anything the OP said.  Am I missing something?

[kite]

Hookers & Blow will rip you out of a ho-hum life.  /s
Actually, get rid of your TV.  Don't sit and watch stuff onscreen.  Chuck Netflix, Hulu, etc in the trash heap.  Why?  Because it feeds you ideas of some exciting life while making you feel ho-hum about the one you've got.  In all that screen time, you could be walking a dog, learning to foxtrot or roll a kayak, building a garden, having wild sex, practicing the accordion, retraining for a new career.
Point is, if your free time is boring now, having more of it after you've shed the dreaded job isn't going to bring endless thrills.

More importantly, find a way to be of service.  Do something for someone or something else. Make a commitment to doing it regularly and then do it. I don't mean give money, I'm talking about giving time.  For 9 years, I volunteered 4 hours per week with an arts related non profit.  In addition to a fun social activity, it conferred no small amount of ego stroking celebrity status.  These days, I take a dog to visit a dementia care ward.  Best thing ever.  I've done some exciting things in life, but nothing compares to the pure joy of bringing the dog to visit folks who barely remember that they just ate.  The old guys pet the dog and reminisce about Sparky or Major or Duke who was their constant companion three quarters of a century ago.  The dog wags his tail and patiently accepts pets and hugs from all the old ladies. 
I don't mind if you copy my thing, there are plenty of dogs and old folks to go around.   But you will need to find the thing that gives your life meaning in order to vanquish all the ho-hum out of your life.  Watching TV and regularly scanning social media can be impediments to finding your thing.

[Yankuba]

If you have kids you will wish your life was ho-hum again

If they get hit by a truck or get cancer or have their roof start caving in they will probably wish that as well.  I'm not sure what that adds here, or how it's responsive to anything the OP said.  Am I missing something?

Most married couples eventually have kids. If the OP has kids his life won't be "ho-hum"

[sjlp]

Pursuing FI shouldn't mean wearing a hair shirt and whipping yourself all day in a bare room under a single 40 watt bulb that you use to heat your house with.

This cracked me up! What is a hair shirt??

OP, great question and I'm in a similar boat. I am trying to get off social media, it's a waste of time and scientifically proven to make people unhappier. If one of my real friends goes on a trip, I ask them to show me photos in person. Then it's fun because I hear the stories and I'm genuinely happy that a good friend went to these places, rather than feeling jealous of people that I sort-of know. I also get a lot of enjoyment researching online/daydreaming about slow travel destinations, and planning some longer vacations/sabbaticals on the route to FIRE. I should probably live in the now a little more but I realized I enjoy the planning process, and it's better than watching TV or whatever.

[Threshkin]

There are lots of ways to add excitement and interest to your life without wasting money. 

IMO the MMM philosophy is all about using money wisely and consciously.  Not mindlessly letting it vanish through unnecessary and unknowing spending.

Some people interpret this as "saving money at all costs", where you give up all pleasures in life to maximize your savings.  This is the path of a miser not MMM's philosophy at all.

Choose your path wisely.

[shelivesthedream]

I was feeling a bit ho-hum about life about six months ago. I decided I needed to get out more and do something new. I did two things:

1. Signed up to MeetUp.com, sorted local groups in order of soonest event, and went to the soonest thing that sounded vaguely interesting.
2. Found out the geographically nearest place to me that did affordable evening classes (drop-in ones, rather than "sign up for a whole term" because of my irregular work schedule) and picked a class I thought I might like.

I didn't like the meetup group very much but I loved the class and it turned out to be very social so now I am learning something new and have a group of sort-of friends (closer than acquaintances but not friends I'd see out of class) that I see almost every week. Cost: £5/week. Value: epic.

The social aspect was important to me because I work from home and, even though I'm definitely an introvert, I noticed that too much alone time makes me go a bit odd. If you work in a busy office you might want something more solitary. If neither of the two options I tried first worked out, I would have gone to a second meetup event and tried a second class. Regular volunteering would also have been a good thing to try. It's a sort of deliberate semi-randomness that I think is crucial for shaking up a ho-hum life.

[SweetTPi]

i understand completely- I've felt stuck in a rut for a while now.  I know that what I'm doing is the way I need to be headed for the future, but it can be easy to box oneself in and forget to find the fun in the present.

One thing I've picked up recently is going for a picture-taking walk after work instead of sitting around before/post dinner.  Sure, I could just go for a walk, but I've walked the area around my house extensively.  Having a camera in hand and a desire to take at least 1 interesting picture makes me notice more.  Just, more.  The angle of the sun through the leaves, the parallel lines of a bamboo grove, a bee on a flower, an interesting old thingamajig.  It pulls me out of the routine of a ho-hum walk and helps find the new and interesting.  Nothing will come of these pictures, but I still enjoy taking them, and being in the present helps me be bit more content every day.

[Tetsuya Hondo]

Pursuing FI shouldn't mean wearing a hair shirt and whipping yourself all day in a bare room under a single 40 watt bulb that you use to heat your house with.

This cracked me up! What is a hair shirt??

Why, it's the official clothing of the true MMM believer, of course. Don't you have one or are you an apostate?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cilice

[Lanthiriel]

I'd strongly recommend a creative hobby. It's fairly easy to start something like woodworking, gardening or sewing with minimal cash up front. The buzz from holding something in your hands that you made yourself is one hell of a boost and it stops you from pissing away your life in front of the TV.

Write. Draw. Download a free copy of Gimp and make obscene photoshopped pictures. Anything that will get you learning a new skill, and break you out of the evening routine

What would you do all day if you were retired?

I'm not the right person to answer, I'm sure, because I adore my ho-hum life, but it sounds like you need an interest. Grow something. Find people to play board games with. Join a softball team. Carve wooden spoons. Buy stuff at Goodwill and sell it on ebay.

I agree with both all of this.

I also am a big fan of the ho-hum, even though I do get a little jealous of other people's travels from time to time. I fill my time with knitting (either while watching TV, admittedly, or with my knit group), walking and hiking with my dogs, planning (or occasionally actually doing) home projects, and interacting with my large circle of acquaintances. I find that when I'm not working, I spend more time doing a slow wind up and wind down to the day, clean more often, and research activities to do around town. I used to be worried about being bored in retirement and wanting to spend more money, but now I think I've expanded my interests and hobbies enough to lead a full life without a job.

[FIREGuy]

Hookers & Blow will rip you out of a ho-hum life.  /s
Actually, get rid of your TV.  Don't sit and watch stuff onscreen.  Chuck Netflix, Hulu, etc in the trash heap.  Why?  Because it feeds you ideas of some exciting life while making you feel ho-hum about the one you've got.  In all that screen time, you could be walking a dog, learning to foxtrot or roll a kayak, building a garden, having wild sex, practicing the accordion, retraining for a new career.
Point is, if your free time is boring now, having more of it after you've shed the dreaded job isn't going to bring endless thrills.

This so much...

I think TV, Facebook, whatever social media you look at gives you a false sense of what most people's lives are like. They only show the highlights, and most of the time, it is simply someone taking a picture of the same damn tuna sandwich that you are having for lunch and throwing a few hash tags on their. No one posts about how they made dinner and went to bed (at least not many people).

Good point about the boring free time leading to more boring free time. If it's not exciting now, 50 more hours a week of time will just be 50 more boring hours. Time to fill it with good stuff!

[arebelspy]

Any tips on how to break the monotony of saving?

Yes.  Stop caring about it.

Get it all on autopilot, so that it'll happen as efficiently as possible, then forget it and go live your life!  :)

Lots of good advice in this thread to that end, but that's the basic idea.  Stop caring about the financial once you've solved that puzzle, and move onto new, exciting things that aren't monotonous or ho-hum!  :)

[Metric Mouse]

Pursuing FI shouldn't mean wearing a hair shirt and whipping yourself all day in a bare room under a single 40 watt bulb that you use to heat your house with.

This cracked me up! What is a hair shirt??

Why, it's the official clothing of the true MMM believer, of course. Don't you have one or are you an apostate?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cilice

Some people buy their clothes; such consumma sukkas!

[golfreak12]

You know we are in the same boat.
I make around the same amount and my wife is going to school full time. Our lives were a bit monotonous.
I keep telling my wife 10 more years. 10 more freakin years and we won't have to worry about anything but in the meantime our lives are kinda boring.
Yeah we can save $60K every year but we;re boring ourselves to death in the meantime. I then told my wife instead of saving $60K, we can settled on $50K and spend the extra money on trips and such.
We now go on 3 vacations per year and small weekend getaway whenever. As someone mentioned, we use CC bonuses to minimized our vacation expenses.
Theres nothing wrong with enjoying ourselves in the meantime while saving money instead of just saving money.

[Cannot Wait!]

Hookers & Blow will rip you out of a ho-hum life.  /s
Actually, get rid of your TV.  Don't sit and watch stuff onscreen.  Chuck Netflix, Hulu, etc in the trash heap.  Why?  Because it feeds you ideas of some exciting life while making you feel ho-hum about the one you've got.  In all that screen time, you could be walking a dog, learning to foxtrot or roll a kayak, building a garden, having wild sex, practicing the accordion, retraining for a new career.
Point is, if your free time is boring now, having more of it after you've shed the dreaded job isn't going to bring endless thrills.

More importantly, find a way to be of service.  Do something for someone or something else. Make a commitment to doing it regularly and then do it. I don't mean give money, I'm talking about giving time.  For 9 years, I volunteered 4 hours per week with an arts related non profit.  In addition to a fun social activity, it conferred no small amount of ego stroking celebrity status.  These days, I take a dog to visit a dementia care ward.  Best thing ever.  I've done some exciting things in life, but nothing compares to the pure joy of bringing the dog to visit folks who barely remember that they just ate.  The old guys pet the dog and reminisce about Sparky or Major or Duke who was their constant companion three quarters of a century ago.  The dog wags his tail and patiently accepts pets and hugs from all the old ladies. 
I don't mind if you copy my thing, there are plenty of dogs and old folks to go around.   But you will need to find the thing that gives your life meaning in order to vanquish all the ho-hum out of your life.  Watching TV and regularly scanning social media can be impediments to finding your thing.

Love all of this! 
Definitely get rid of the TV and make it a contest between you and your wife to come up with interesting frugal ways to amuse yourselves.  Alternate nights of the week that you're in charge of deciding what to do.  Theme nights, creative dinners, craft projects, home reno ideas, making vision boards, finding fun side gigs, playful dates, etc.
Also - find a new job!  10 years is too long to be in a job you don't like.