We just moved this year from NJ to CO. Nothing to do with MMM, just a coincidence. ;) And as someone who has her entire life history and the heritage of local Native Americans, Oyster Fishers, and Glass-makers in her family of 60+ people and 100's of friends and acquaintances to leave behind, it is not so easy to "just move!"
Some things are cheaper here than in NJ and some are more.
NJ/CO
Electric: $.20KWH/$.11KWH
Public Water/Sewer: $50 mo/$65 mo(no, we're not using any more, just costs more)
High Speed Internet: $20/$50(no competition out here!)
Trash collection: free/$25mo
Mortgage/home insurance/taxes in NJ(tiny bungalow outside small city): $688
Rent/renter's insurance in CO: $985 BUT we have 150% of the space we had in NJ with a newer home and a garage. A similar home would have rented in my area in NJ for about $1400mo.
A house similar to the one we sold in NJ would go for about $80K here(about 10% cheaper than NJ) and the taxes would be about $600 a year(just 25% of NJ rates).
I've shown some houses to my NJ family and they cannot believe the tax rates out here. It's going to make a huge difference in month to month expenses when we buy. Not that we would ever borrow our limit but it means that we could afford about $50K more in house here than we could in NJ. Since I already illustrated that housing prices here are 10% or more cheaper than NJ, that means we can get a lot more.
I have not found that there is much difference in auto and home insurance rates. They seem very similar for both states. In NJ I was using Liberty Mutual for Home and 21st Century for Auto. Maybe you need to shop and switch? Maybe I need to shop and switch. :P
It is very possible to live on MMM levels in NJ you simply won't have as much material goods as you could elsewhere in the country. We lived on one income of less than $40K a year in NJ for almost 12 years. We spent less than $30K every year. That's because we chose to live debt free and in an 800 square foot no-frills rancher. We chose to have a window unit ac and run it as little as possible. We chose to not run our kids to a million programs. We chose to buy used over new. We chose to cook at home instead of eating out. Etc.
I sympathize with you because I do know that there are some things in NJ that are just astronomically more but be sure you aren't using some things as an excuse to spend more on all things.
