Public vs Private School

[LearningMustachian72]

Hi,

I am wondering if anyone has good arguments in favor of public or private school.  If so, please share.

Thanks!

[FIRE@50]

Money

[Papa bear]

In the aggregate, scores and results and education has less to do with the school than the level of parental involvement.

So save your money and do some homework with your kids. 


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[MrsDinero]

It depends on why you are considering private vs public.

We are considering a private school for our kids but our reasons are more from the standpoint, that we are disillusioned by the current state of traditional public school, lack of outdoor time, home work at an early age, and the importance of standardized testing. 

We feel that early education should be more play based and encourage learning to problem solve and imagination.   Yes we want them to read and do maths and the school we are looking at does academics as part of their daily routine, but they are more nature based and promote these values.

[SwitchActiveDWG]

There are so many factors that go into the decision. Money, school, teacher quality, student/teacher ratio, location, your particular kid...

In general, if the public school to which you are zoned is acceptable to you, prefer public school.

[I'm a red panda]

I treat public school as the default unless the specific school I'm zoned for offers signifigant reason to go private.

(One of my nephew's for instance was bullied horribly in public school and was basically forced out due to it. He's doing well in private school. His siblings are still at the public school.)

[mm1970]

I'm a huge fan of public schools, but I do know they vary.

For private schools - the folks that I know who use them fall into a few categories:
- wealthy, wanting their kids to have the "right" cohort
- religious, wanting a religious education
- white flight
- sensitive/ delicate children who just need a different vibe (Austism, ADD)

I think our schools are fine for my kids, so I fall into the "do homework with your kid" camp.
But there are honestly public school districts in the country that are downright dangerous.  I've never lived near one.

Some public schools have deep poverty (ours does) - it does not affect the school's ability to teach, but that may not be the case in every school.

Then there's just teaching methods and philosophy.  Not all methods work for all kids.  Some kids do fine with typical school, others need more Montessori or Waldorf.  Our public schools have implemented a lot of these methods (outdoor classroom/ garden. Lots of outdoor time, alternative seating, etc.0

[secondcor521]

Between my three kids, they have attended private kindergarten, six public schools, a magnet school, a private Catholic high school, a private Christian school, an online school, dual enrollment, AP, IB, public universities, and been homeschooled.  Next year one will start at a private university, so I think we will have hit almost all of the options at that point.

My advice would be to determine which options are available to you in your area, rule out those that you believe are unaffordable, then choose what you think the best option is for your kid.  Note that different kids can do better at different schools - my middle son is at an IB high school, but his younger sister is attending a Catholic high school.  He likes the smaller school size and the challenge of the IB program; she wanted a larger school with an orchestra and choir.

Mostly my kids went to public school until high school, then they all went to private schools for different reasons.  One was for efficiency and misophonia, one was for ADHD, and the last was for personal safety.  (I guess I have sensitive, delicate children, LOL!)  One is likely to end up at a private university out of state, the other two are/likely will be at in-state public universities.  Again, each has different needs and plans.

On cost, I was talking with a friend the other day who paid for both of his kids to go to private Catholic schools from K through 12, and they told their kids they were on their own for college because the parents were basically tapped out.  Also, their retirement is behind schedule according to him.  So if you want to help your kids go to college, consider how paying for private K-12 school now may impact your ability to help them later.

Once they get to high school, I'd encourage you to start talking career plans with them.  With my two younger ones, we took them on "high school visits" to their available and affordable options and involved them in the decision.  It worked well in that the kids were a little more committed because it was their choice as to where to go and they know it is costing some money from their education funds to have them attend.

[hops]

We've not yet started a family but my wife is strongly in favor of sending our future kids to public schools unless an issue presents itself that the schools are ill-equipped to address. That's fine with me. I was raised in one of the three highest-rated public school districts in the state but still had neighbors who made great personal sacrifices to send their kids to private schools. Frequently their kids were mixed up in expensive sports leagues as well.

They did everything possible to get their spawn into top universities and usually they failed. Either the kids weren't as motivated as the parents, or they weren't as intellectually or athletically gifted as everyone had hoped. Adding insult to injury, in some cases the quality of the education was inferior to what was offered by our public schools.

My wife attended some awful public schools. They were underfunded (so there wasn't access to certain AP classes in high school, the libraries were terrible, technological resources were quite limited); they produced poor test scores and had problems with truancy and violence. Teachers and counselors still went above and beyond to assist students as they prepared for college, helping some of them secure free rides at state schools and even admissions to top universities.

[randomusername]

Though not for everyone, homeschooling has been great for us for multiple reasons:

-It allowed us to relocated to LCOL area without worrying about public schools
-I work remotely and DH is currently SAHP so we get a lot of good family time
-There are a ton of great curricula available that cater to almost any type of learning need
-We chose an online program that has all the lessons already prepared, so we don't have to come up with it ourselves, but we can easily monitor in real time and step in if we see they are struggling
-Kids get to work at their own pace and my 13 year old is currently well into HS and doing great, and DD isn't frustrated if she needs to take a bit longer to get math or coding concepts or what have you (while still being ahead for the year)
-More freedom to learn what they are interested in seriously increases their joy of learning.
-We have a lot of flexibility if we want to change around vacation days

So far the only real hiccup has been social interaction.  We've met some AMAZING homeschooling groups during our travels, but in our new area most homeschool groups are religion based, and we choose to do secular homeschool.  So, still trying to find our "tribe" to get the kids a social outlet (we've only been here 4 months).  In the meantime we go out to fun events, do 4-H and are looking into additional activities as we get more accustomed to the area.

[MMMarbleheader]

I am within a reasonable driving distance to Phillips Andover, Groton, and Middlesex school. All of which have close to need blind admissions. That IMO is the only way I would send my kid to private school. If they were of superior intellect and got a close to a free ride to the above schools.

But most private schools do not send 20%+ plus to Ivy’s.

[mm1970]

Between my three kids, they have attended private kindergarten, six public schools, a magnet school, a private Catholic high school, a private Christian school, an online school, dual enrollment, AP, IB, public universities, and been homeschooled.  Next year one will start at a private university, so I think we will have hit almost all of the options at that point.

My advice would be to determine which options are available to you in your area, rule out those that you believe are unaffordable, then choose what you think the best option is for your kid.  Note that different kids can do better at different schools - my middle son is at an IB high school, but his younger sister is attending a Catholic high school.  He likes the smaller school size and the challenge of the IB program; she wanted a larger school with an orchestra and choir.

Mostly my kids went to public school until high school, then they all went to private schools for different reasons.  One was for efficiency and misophonia, one was for ADHD, and the last was for personal safety.  (I guess I have sensitive, delicate children, LOL!) One is likely to end up at a private university out of state, the other two are/likely will be at in-state public universities.  Again, each has different needs and plans.

On cost, I was talking with a friend the other day who paid for both of his kids to go to private Catholic schools from K through 12, and they told their kids they were on their own for college because the parents were basically tapped out.  Also, their retirement is behind schedule according to him.  So if you want to help your kids go to college, consider how paying for private K-12 school now may impact your ability to help them later.

Once they get to high school, I'd encourage you to start talking career plans with them.  With my two younger ones, we took them on "high school visits" to their available and affordable options and involved them in the decision.  It worked well in that the kids were a little more committed because it was their choice as to where to go and they know it is costing some money from their education funds to have them attend.

I tell ya, high school can be brutal, even if you aren't sensitive or delicate.  I had many years of crappy school experiences - small rural town, got picked on for being smart.  If either of my kids showed any inkling of getting harassed like I was, I'd move them out in a heartbeat.

Our elementary school is the magnet for the disabled, and the next one over is the magnet for GATE - and a lot of GATE kids come with personality quirks and types that make regular school...difficult.  I've attended meetings where experts have discussed the learning differences - and they obviously vary in scale.

We have pretty much open transfers for our 3 public high schools, so we will (and many of our friends also do) - visit all the schools, learn about their programs, and get a feel for the school.  One of my friend's sons is GATE, ADHD, and very shy on top of all that.  She said he went right up to ask the director of a particular program about how it worked, etc - and I think that's awesome.  We were both impressed.  He's going to take an active role in his high school choice (which doesn't need to be made until next year).

[secondcor521]

^ Between my three kids I have GATE x3, misophonia x2, color-grapheme synesthesia x1, and ADHD x1.  They're amazing.

[mm1970]

^ Between my three kids I have GATE x3, misophonia x2, color-grapheme synesthesia x1, and ADHD x1.  They're amazing.

I have GATE x2 and I had to google misophonia - and I think I may have that myself.

[soccerluvof4]

I think it really depends on where you live and if you want to spend the money etc..

Where we live we have top public schools always in the top 2% in the country. We pay the taxes for it so my kids go to the public schools. A lot of folks around us still send kids to Private schools but for no reason other than the Status. There is no education benefit to it whatsoever here. I went to a private school my freshman year, many years ago because our church paid for it and what they offered compared to the public schools was barely comparable and the school itself was a dump. But at that time I thought I was going to be a minister.

As another poster said too it depends on how much you participate as a parent as well. A lot of kids go to not so good schools and turn out just fine because there parents are involved.

[Hula Hoop]

Proud product of public school here and parents of two kids in public elementary school.  Their school is definitely not perfect but I'm not convinced that private schools are better.  As far as I can see it it's kind of a snob thing at least here and definitely face-punch worthy.  I like the fact that the kids at my kids' public school are from very diverse backgrounds (including foster care kids, poor kids, disabled kids, kids with learning disabilities as well as different ethnic backgrounds and religions).  The private school down the street is all middle to upper class kids and mostly white and Christian. 

I would consider private school if a)my kid got a huge scholarship or b) it was not that expensive and I really, really thought it would be better for my child than public school for concrete reasons ie. there was only one public school in my area and my child was horribly bullied there or something along those lines.  Otherwise, no way. 

[Cranky]

There are great public schools, and there are great private schools. There are terrible public schools, and there are terrible private schools.  I've taught at public and private, and my kids attended both public and private.

Paying tuition basically lets your kid sit next to the kid of someone else willing and able to pay tuition, for whatever that is worth, but there's no direct correlation with the actual quality of the education IME.

Do not rely on test scores (which again, tell you nothing but how many middle class kids are in that school.) Think about what makes a good classroom environment, and go look at the actual schools.

[Dee18]

I planned to only use public schools as I had received an excellent education at them, all the way through graduate school.  But my daughter's public school, a "blue ribbon" school with excellent test scores, was totally bound by tradition, doing everything the way they had done for decades. There was also pretty traditional discrimination based on sex and race.  When my daughter was in 5th grade, we lived overseas for a semester and she went to a private international school. She absolutely blossomed.  She returned to our public school, but I couldn't get out of my head how much better she had been at the private school.  I finally looked at the two main private schools in my city. They were incredibly diverse and offered a wide variety of courses in small classes, including lots of foreign language study which I wanted for my child.  I ended up moving her in 8th grade.  It cost a small fortune, but I could manage it.  She blossomed again.  In the end she received a full tuition college scholarship so I basically paid for grades 8-12 instead of college. As others have pointed out above, everyone's experience is unique.  If I had it to do over again, I would have put her in private school earlier. 

[Adam Zapple]

I would move to a better school district before I would ever pay for private school.  In my city, white flight is the main reason people send their kids to private school, despite whatever reason they state publicly.

[Helvegen]

My daughter went to a terrible public school district. She hated it and we hated it. We moved to a better one and she is much happier. Private school was never on the table.

[FireHiker]

I have GATE x2 and I had to google misophonia - and I think I may have that myself.

Misophonia!! I never knew it had a name, but I absolutely have it!! Thank you so much, whoever first posted about it.

As for the original post, I think it depends. We live in an area with public schools in the top 1% nationwide, and yet I still know people who send their kids to private schools. Almost all of them are for religious reasons, though I know one who switched from our high-stress high school to an easier private school because their son had a really difficult time with the work load and expectations. He got a full ride at a private university where he is currently a freshman, so it seems like it was the right choice for him.

As long as the public school has an adequate variety of courses and is a safe environment I would generally say public over private. I know there are exceptions though, and if we lived in a place where the public school was not suitable then we would consider private if we were unable to move. We are very thankful for our fabulous public schools, but we also live in a very HCOL area so I don't know that it's really any cheaper than living in a LCOL area and paying for private school.

[Laura33]

When given multiple options, I prefer to start with the one that is free.  I can always "upgrade" to a more expensive one if free doesn't work for one reason or another.

[AMandM]

I attended public schools from grade 2 till high school graduation. In high school I wanted to go to private school, only because I thought the uniforms were cute (!). Then in university I met people who'd gone to one of the nearby private schools and I wished I'd been sent there, because those students had read SO MANY MORE good books in high school than I had.  In later years, I've come to be glad that I didn't go to private school, because of the social environment. It's not that the private school alumni are all snobs, but most of them have a somewhat limited outlook because they've never been friends with anyone who wasn't from a university-educated family.