So you took the leap and retired...how's it going? Is your wife still worried about what to say that you do? Is she more tempted to consider ER herself? What did you end up working out about the housework?
Yes, DoubleDown, it's been more than a few months since you retired. Can you bring us up to date on how it's been? Any particularly difficult or spectacularly enjoyable adjustments, for you or your family?
First of all, thanks for asking! FIRE has been awesome, I seriously cannot think of a single downside so far. The only part that still gnaws at me is the large paychecks no longer coming in. It's definitely weird going from a 20-year mindset of saving to one of spending with no more accumulation. Thankfully there have been no market crashes or black swan events since I FIRE'd; the markets have been very boring overall, which is okay with me.
I'd say my wife's overall attitude has not changed much. I've picked up more of the housework and some cooking, haven't heard too many complaints on that front (other than I'm not much of a gourmet cook and have no interest in becoming one).
My wife just is, by her nature,
extremely skeptical in life. If she won the lottery or some other amazing windfall, she'd immediately be waiting for calamity or the (unknown) "strings attached" to destroy everything. It's really almost impossible for her to accept something good as just that -- she'll always think that life is playing a cruel joke on her and setting her up for a bigger fall right around the corner. I'd say that mindset is pretty antithetical to FIRE, since we have to take a fairly large leap of faith into this unorthodox approach of quitting work so early and putting faith in our stash lasting 50+ years. So, I'd say it's unlikely she will ever accept this decision or lifestyle as anything she'd seek out on her own.
She's also a heavy on-the-go person, always wants to be doing something active. She just can't fathom having any large stretch of unstructured time, so she's still in the mindset of wondering what I could possibly do with all this free time. This does still give her angst in telling people what I "do." I suggested she tell them I'm writing a book (true), but even this seemed weird to her because I'm not Stephen King.
I asked her, isn't writing a book "enough" of a thing? I mean there are lots of writers, people don't generally look down on them. She said, "Yeah, but they make lots of money at it." I said, does that mean I would be unsuccessful as a writer if I didn't make a lot of money, even though we don't need the money? She said yes. I said, "Then what does define success as a writer. Do I have to make the NY Times Top 20 Bestsellers List to qualify as successful? She said "Yes." I said, "And anything less than the Top 20 is unsuccessful?" Again the answer was "Yes."
Tough crowd.