This is something that's made a big difference for me in the past year, and apparently it's not that common, so... sharing! Try it, see if it makes a difference for you!
We're a society that pushes appreciation of ITEMS (see: thank you notes for gifts), but not so much for experiences, help, teaching, etc. But I value the teaching, and don't so much value items. So: every week or two, I've been sending a quick note (like, a 3-line email, FB message, text - seriously, nothing fancy) to a friend, an old colleague, etc, thanking them for something they've taught me.
Actual examples:
- 10 years ago, I was in a crappy apartment with a landlord who wouldn't fix anything. I had a friend who was a dude 10 years older than me who worked as a handyman, and who taught me to use a drill and re-caulk a tub so it wouldn't leak (these are things my parents always hired out and had never shown me -and he could have just done it for me, I'd have paid him to, but he SHOWED ME HOW, which probably took longer... he took his role as 'substitute dad' in our friend group pretty seriously!). Last week, after re-caulking my tub, I sent a FB message along the lines of 'hey! 10 years ago, you taught me to do this thing, and I've done it a lot since, so thanks! I really appreciate knowing! :)'
- 4 years ago, a colleague taught me some things in Excel (pivot tables, vlookups, and basic data analytics) that I've been ROCKING at at my current job. Quick note: 'Hey, a few years back you took the time to teach me some Excel tricks, and it's helping me so much now. Thanks for taking the time, I still appreciate it a lot!'
Seems simple, right? Nothing major?
Hah.
I've been used as a professional reference by the people I've sent work-related notes to, multiple times in the past year. I've been called up by friends who started the conversation with 'hey, thanks for your note, I'm so happy you're using *skills*! I'm doing *other skill-building thing* next week on my house - wanna come by and I'll show you how to do that?'. I've had phone calls from people who were like 'you like knowing to do things - do you know how to do X thing, and can you show me? I can show you Y thing I just learned!'
Basically? People seem to feel super-appreciated, and then they appreciate ME for making them feel good (not the purpose, but hey, bonus!) They offer to teach me more things (definite bonus!). They seem to value passing on skills rather than resent being asked for favors. And I'm more mindful about where the things I learn come from, and I make an effort to pass on the knowledge, AND I seem to appreciate people more (mindfulness works!)
Best of all: it's free, it's productive, it makes people feel good, and it takes a wee bit of mindfulness and about 60 seconds to type out an email or text.