Paralyzed in my job

[Harper]

I'm not sure what I'm looking for here but I would love some advice or maybe even a face punch or two.

My job is currently awful.  I'm mainly struggling with poor management (although my boss is great) and insufficient leadership on projects.  I've gone from working a normal week to 50-60 hours a week and not getting everything done.  I know I need to leave but I'm paralyzed.  I have great previous experience and am well educated.  I"m trying to work on my resume and I'm struggling.  There are a few jobs that I would like to apply to even one that is a step above what I'm doing (albeit at a smaller company) but I just don't seem "worthy".  Networking is hard for me.

I should be so much further in my career and feel that if I just had the confidence/self esteem to move around.  How do I get there?

Thanks!

[DreamFIRE]

At first, I thought your biggest complaint was the hours were are working, but then you mentioned that you should be further ahead in your career, which is a different thing altogether.

I think I would address the work schedule with your current employer if that's the primary complaint.  They might be taking advantage of you because you don't push back, especially if they're not even paying you extra for it.

[Gone_Hiking]

@Harper - I'm sorry you are going through this.  Is resume writing the only area where you can't get started?  Do you see lack of motivation in other areas as well?   This might, indeed, be a mental health issue.  Do you have a way to decompress?

As a person who couldn't network for years I can perhaps advise you in this area.  Instead of focusing on meeting people because I was looking for a job, I started meeting people and focus on their needs instead.  I found that, with fewer contacts, and focus on their needs instead of mine, I was as efficient as people who contact many more people and ask about jobs.  Perhaps this kind of approach can unblock you?  I'm sending a few warm thoughts your way.

[Harper]

Thanks for the replies.  I appreciate them.

I realize I'm all over the place with this post and really need to figure out what it is I want and what my issues are.

[Bettis]

I'm in the same boat(I was starting to think I unconsciously made this post) so I'll be following along closely.  Fixing issues like this can be such a game changer.

[wageslave23]

Whats helped me have confidence in jobs is to realize that very few people really are competent.  Everyone puts on a show but few actually have all the answers.  Fake it until you make it is a lot more common than you perceive because people always put their best image forward.  We are all just imperfect humans trying to figure things out and make a living.  No one is inherently better than you.

[RedmondStash]

Confidence is so hard to come by. I'm not asking if you are a male or female human, but women get all kinds of subtle messages of inadequacy that can really cut down their confidence. That can pile on on top of other company dysfunctions that affect everyone and lead to some nasty -- and unwarranted -- imposter syndrome.

My suggestion is to treat yourself as the PR arm of "Harper, Incorporated," which is a business. You are not promoting yourself, but your business, which is selling your services.

So what would you do for your client, "Harper, Inc."? You'd update and polish the resume, you'd apply for jobs, you'd hustle for them. You would campaign on your client's behalf.

Also -- yeah, networking can be helpful, but you can get where you want to go without it. I got most of my jobs through blind applications, not through networking, and I've done just fine.

So work on your cover-letter and resume skills. Don't worry about being confident, just about pretending to be confident on behalf of your client, because that's your job, and you're good at your job. A little positive spin is fine -- not lying, just presenting your client's best features in a good light.

Remember that sincerity is everything. Once you can fake that, you've got it made. ;)

Good luck.

[SK Joyous]

Harper might I make the suggestion of spending some money on assistance with your situation? It can be a case of spend money to make money - a professional can help you develop your resume, do interview preparation with you, even help you look for jobs and boost your confidence by letting you know what your market worth might be. Sometimes a little nudge can go a long way towards building momentum. Best of luck to you!

[big_slacker]

It’s not mentally healthy to feel unworthy of a better job or a better work situation.

Depends on what he means about not worthy. It's TOTALLY normal to feel like you're not qualified for the next step up, you'll be in over your head, not fully prepared and worried about failing.

Now not feeling like you deserve anything better in life than you currently have, especially if what you have is shitty, that's a problem. I know you're talking about the latter but it's not clear what the OP was getting at.

My advice is: With any life decision, whether it's dropping into a gnarly descent on a snowboard or leaving a shitty job for an uncertain future. Pick your line and commit. Hesitation or half assing never turns out well. :D

[AnnaGrowsAMustache]

Just leave. Just decide you're worth more and go find that. Apply for jobs that you don't think you'd get in a million years - I just got one. You can too. If life was 10 times as long as it is, it would still be too short for frickin horrible work places.