This is not a debate. I'm stating the problem is not the generic concept of change. And who says I'm miserable?
If you can't say that you participate in and contribute to your local community, I would rather have someone that does as a neighbor. Living next door to someone that does not participate could be problematic or at least uncomfortable at times. Oh, and it should be obvious that this has nothing to do with your race, culture or country of origin. It's your attitude.
So you're saying that unless a person is highly involved with some sort of neighborhood activities and interacts with everyone then they are a "bad" neighbor? So a single kidless woman who doesn't have much in common with her married couple with kids neighbors who keeps to herself and her non-hood friends is a "bad" neighbor? Even if shes quiet, keeps her house and yard nice, and causes no harm to anyone and is friendly but keeps to herself then she's a "bad" neighbor? I'm that woman (minus the 100 cats ;-)) so guess I'd be a terrible addition to your hood.
Most of those folks are pleasant, decent people that at least peripherally participate. Maybe this person is older, and needs a hand unloading the groceries or relighting the pilot light on the water heater. In turn, you might get a tin of homemade candy at Christmas. Little things count. Since you are ex-military, I would think because of your background, you would use your training and skills in an emergency if your neighbors needed them. Good to have you in the neighborhood, if that's your attitude.
This definition of a "good" neighbor seems rather arbitrary and petty. Is it nice to offer a helping hand if someone needs it? Sure, but this is just generally being a kind person, doesn't automatically make one a good neighbor. Also, opportunities like this may not pop up if they don't need or what help, or if your lives don't overlap much. What are the odds that your neighbor you don't already know comes to your door asking for help with their waterheater? At our previous house it took about 5 years to get to know the neighbors around us. We eventually got to the point of helping each other out, except for one neighbor who was super nice yet very private (still a great neighbor, I might add). Everyone was busy with kids and working two jobs, so it just took a long time to make those connections.
I suppose I'm just far more concerned with the stuff spartana listed. I don't necessarily want a neighbor we don't already know offering to carry groceries into the house, or doing any kind of work on my house. But I care a great deal about neighbors being respectful, quiet, keeping their house and yard relatively well maintained.