Author Topic: Our housing prices tripled, and new buyers don't blend into the community  (Read 13067 times)

Another Reader

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I'm sorry but a lot of that is just sentimental crap.  If you move to a new place, get a job near where you choose to live next.  We are a nation of immigrants, you can't tell me people are suddenly unable to cope with moving a few miles?  Or even to a new city?  Have these people never moved for a job before?  Now that I think about it, the LARGE majority of extended families I know are already split apart geographically. 

And losing your social interactions?  Seriously?  Make some new friends.  There's all kinds of new/interesting/cool people out there.  Hell, if rich people move into your neighborhood, these are upwardly mobile connections that you'd probably never had access to before.  Use them. 


Please don't move into my neighborhood.  People with your attitude are the problem.


No, the problem is CHANGE.  You're not willing/able to embrace it and so you are miserable.  I, on the other hand, fully embrace it.  And guess what?  I'm happy.

No, you would likely be an unpleasant person to have as a neighbor.

Do you participate in your kids' schools?  Do you belong to any local organizations?  Do you contribute time and money to them?  I doubt it based on what you have said.  If you don't, you don't really contribute anything to your community and you have no vested interest in it.   My preference is to have neighbors that care enough about the community to participate.

Tyson

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I'm sorry but a lot of that is just sentimental crap.  If you move to a new place, get a job near where you choose to live next.  We are a nation of immigrants, you can't tell me people are suddenly unable to cope with moving a few miles?  Or even to a new city?  Have these people never moved for a job before?  Now that I think about it, the LARGE majority of extended families I know are already split apart geographically. 

And losing your social interactions?  Seriously?  Make some new friends.  There's all kinds of new/interesting/cool people out there.  Hell, if rich people move into your neighborhood, these are upwardly mobile connections that you'd probably never had access to before.  Use them. 


Please don't move into my neighborhood.  People with your attitude are the problem.

No, the problem is CHANGE.  You're not willing/able to embrace it and so you are miserable.  I, on the other hand, fully embrace it.  And guess what?  I'm happy.
I can understand the dissatisfaction--the neighborhood has a certain character (e.g. neighbors that are frequently outside and interact a lot) that brings a person joy.  I don't think it's unreasonable for a person to object to the removal of that source of joy.

Personally, I strongly dislike the phrase "change is good," because there are plenty of changes that are *not* good.  Can you imagine the reaction I'd get if I went into the Off-topic subforum and started a thread entitled "Trump's changes are good" or "We should just embrace climate change"? :D

You are correct that one's personal happiness is strongly influenced by one's attitude.  But I don't think it's reasonable to expect people to embrace any and all change.

I agree with you - not all change is good.  Maybe the neighborhood changes for the worse, and things like crime goes up and properties start to devolve into crack/meth dens.  Happens.  In that case, you should probably embrace the (negative) change and move to a better neighborhood.  On the other hand, change can also be good.  Like people moving to the neighborhood and making improvements to it.  That's a good change.  IME it's very rare indeed for a neighborhood to not change.  Especially nowadays with cities growing like crazy.  Complaining about it a bit like tilting at windmills, I think. 

Taking a step back, I just get frustrated with the "get off my lawn" mentality of these posts.  I'd expect that type of sentiment over on Bogleheads but not here on MMM.

Tyson

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I'm sorry but a lot of that is just sentimental crap.  If you move to a new place, get a job near where you choose to live next.  We are a nation of immigrants, you can't tell me people are suddenly unable to cope with moving a few miles?  Or even to a new city?  Have these people never moved for a job before?  Now that I think about it, the LARGE majority of extended families I know are already split apart geographically. 

And losing your social interactions?  Seriously?  Make some new friends.  There's all kinds of new/interesting/cool people out there.  Hell, if rich people move into your neighborhood, these are upwardly mobile connections that you'd probably never had access to before.  Use them. 


Please don't move into my neighborhood.  People with your attitude are the problem.


No, the problem is CHANGE.  You're not willing/able to embrace it and so you are miserable.  I, on the other hand, fully embrace it.  And guess what?  I'm happy.

No, you would likely be an unpleasant person to have as a neighbor.

Do you participate in your kids' schools?  Do you belong to any local organizations?  Do you contribute time and money to them?  I doubt it based on what you have said.  If you don't, you don't really contribute anything to your community and you have no vested interest in it.   My preference is to have neighbors that care enough about the community to participate.

I like how you shifted the topic from how your unhappy with change to an attack on my re: being a bad neighbor.  Not exactly solid debating skills there....

Another Reader

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This is not a debate.  I'm stating the problem is not the generic concept of change.  And who says I'm miserable?

If you can't say that you participate in and contribute to your local community, I would rather have someone that does as a neighbor.  Living next door to someone that does not participate could be problematic or at least uncomfortable at times.  Oh, and it should be obvious that this has nothing to do with your race, culture or country of origin.  It's your attitude.

Tyson

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This is not a debate.  I'm stating the problem is not the generic concept of change.  And who says I'm miserable?

If you can't say that you participate in and contribute to your local community, I would rather have someone that does as a neighbor.  Living next door to someone that does not participate could be problematic or at least uncomfortable at times.  Oh, and it should be obvious that this has nothing to do with your race, culture or country of origin.  It's your attitude.

I actually do participate and not just in the neighborhood but with my daughter's school too.  I work from home so I'm also in my neighborhood about 90% of the time.  And I know my neighbors and talk to them, too! 

On the other hand, I find the whole idea of "a good neighbor" kind of stupid.  I have moved around a ton of places in my life and everywhere I've landed has had awesome people to get to know.  As a result, "my tribe" is actually a bunch of people strung across several cities/states/countries.  I love all those people and I'm so happy that I had a change to meet them and get to know them.  And I'm even more happy about meeting some of the new people that are moving into my current neighborhood. 

I mean, I suppose I could bitch that the new, big homes are "blocking my view of the lake".  But really, what would be the point of that?  Or I could complain that some of the new people tend to keep to themselves.  But so what?  Not everyone needs to behave how I want them to behave.  Obviously not EVERY change is always for the better.  The only thing I know for certain is that things WILL change, and my only real choice is about how I respond to it.  I choose to be positive. 

Candace

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Here's a hint. People here generally don't like jokes about rape, even if you're being fun and flighty.

Sorry about that, you're right.  I was being careless with language there, I'll be more careful in the future.
Bravo HBFIRE, and thank you.

spartana

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This is not a debate.  I'm stating the problem is not the generic concept of change.  And who says I'm miserable?

If you can't say that you participate in and contribute to your local community, I would rather have someone that does as a neighbor.  Living next door to someone that does not participate could be problematic or at least uncomfortable at times.  Oh, and it should be obvious that this has nothing to do with your race, culture or country of origin.  It's your attitude.
So you're saying that unless a person is highly involved with some sort of neighborhood activities and interacts with everyone then they are a "bad" neighbor? So a single kidless woman who doesn't have much in common with her married couple with kids neighbors who keeps to herself and her non-hood friends is a "bad" neighbor? Even if shes quiet, keeps her house and yard nice, and causes no harm to anyone and is friendly but keeps to herself then she's a "bad" neighbor? I'm that woman (minus the 100 cats ;-)) so guess I'd be a terrible addition to your hood.

Another Reader

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This is not a debate.  I'm stating the problem is not the generic concept of change.  And who says I'm miserable?

If you can't say that you participate in and contribute to your local community, I would rather have someone that does as a neighbor.  Living next door to someone that does not participate could be problematic or at least uncomfortable at times.  Oh, and it should be obvious that this has nothing to do with your race, culture or country of origin.  It's your attitude.

I actually do participate and not just in the neighborhood but with my daughter's school too.  I work from home so I'm also in my neighborhood about 90% of the time.  And I know my neighbors and talk to them, too! 

On the other hand, I find the whole idea of "a good neighbor" kind of stupid.  I have moved around a ton of places in my life and everywhere I've landed has had awesome people to get to know.  As a result, "my tribe" is actually a bunch of people strung across several cities/states/countries.  I love all those people and I'm so happy that I had a change to meet them and get to know them.  And I'm even more happy about meeting some of the new people that are moving into my current neighborhood. 

I mean, I suppose I could bitch that the new, big homes are "blocking my view of the lake".  But really, what would be the point of that?  Or I could complain that some of the new people tend to keep to themselves.  But so what?  Not everyone needs to behave how I want them to behave.  Obviously not EVERY change is always for the better.  The only thing I know for certain is that things WILL change, and my only real choice is about how I respond to it.  I choose to be positive.

Since you answered in the affirmative, welcome to the neighborhood!

Another Reader

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This is not a debate.  I'm stating the problem is not the generic concept of change.  And who says I'm miserable?

If you can't say that you participate in and contribute to your local community, I would rather have someone that does as a neighbor.  Living next door to someone that does not participate could be problematic or at least uncomfortable at times.  Oh, and it should be obvious that this has nothing to do with your race, culture or country of origin.  It's your attitude.
So you're saying that unless a person is highly involved with some sort of neighborhood activities and interacts with everyone then they are a "bad" neighbor? So a single kidless woman who doesn't have much in common with her married couple with kids neighbors who keeps to herself and her non-hood friends is a "bad" neighbor? Even if shes quiet, keeps her house and yard nice, and causes no harm to anyone and is friendly but keeps to herself then she's a "bad" neighbor? I'm that woman (minus the 100 cats ;-)) so guess I'd be a terrible addition to your hood.

Most of those folks are pleasant, decent people that at least peripherally participate.  Maybe this person is older, and needs a hand unloading the groceries or relighting the pilot light on the water heater.  In turn, you might get a tin of homemade candy at Christmas.  Little things count.  Since you are ex-military, I would think because of your background, you would use your training and skills in an emergency if your neighbors needed them.  Good to have you in the neighborhood, if that's your attitude.

FINate

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This is not a debate.  I'm stating the problem is not the generic concept of change.  And who says I'm miserable?

If you can't say that you participate in and contribute to your local community, I would rather have someone that does as a neighbor.  Living next door to someone that does not participate could be problematic or at least uncomfortable at times.  Oh, and it should be obvious that this has nothing to do with your race, culture or country of origin.  It's your attitude.
So you're saying that unless a person is highly involved with some sort of neighborhood activities and interacts with everyone then they are a "bad" neighbor? So a single kidless woman who doesn't have much in common with her married couple with kids neighbors who keeps to herself and her non-hood friends is a "bad" neighbor? Even if shes quiet, keeps her house and yard nice, and causes no harm to anyone and is friendly but keeps to herself then she's a "bad" neighbor? I'm that woman (minus the 100 cats ;-)) so guess I'd be a terrible addition to your hood.

Most of those folks are pleasant, decent people that at least peripherally participate.  Maybe this person is older, and needs a hand unloading the groceries or relighting the pilot light on the water heater.  In turn, you might get a tin of homemade candy at Christmas.  Little things count.  Since you are ex-military, I would think because of your background, you would use your training and skills in an emergency if your neighbors needed them.  Good to have you in the neighborhood, if that's your attitude.

This definition of a "good" neighbor seems rather arbitrary and petty. Is it nice to offer a helping hand if someone needs it? Sure, but this is just generally being a kind person, doesn't automatically make one a good neighbor. Also, opportunities like this may not pop up if they don't need or what help, or if your lives don't overlap much. What are the odds that your neighbor you don't already know comes to your door asking for help with their waterheater? At our previous house it took about 5 years to get to know the neighbors around us. We eventually got to the point of helping each other out, except for one neighbor who was super nice yet very private (still a great neighbor, I might add). Everyone was busy with kids and working two jobs, so it just took a long time to make those connections.

I suppose I'm just far more concerned with the stuff spartana listed. I don't necessarily want a neighbor we don't already know offering to carry groceries into the house, or doing any kind of work on my house. But I care a great deal about neighbors being respectful, quiet, keeping their house and yard relatively well maintained.

sun and sand

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This is not a debate.  I'm stating the problem is not the generic concept of change.  And who says I'm miserable?

If you can't say that you participate in and contribute to your local community, I would rather have someone that does as a neighbor.  Living next door to someone that does not participate could be problematic or at least uncomfortable at times.  Oh, and it should be obvious that this has nothing to do with your race, culture or country of origin.  It's your attitude.

I actually do participate and not just in the neighborhood but with my daughter's school too.  I work from home so I'm also in my neighborhood about 90% of the time.  And I know my neighbors and talk to them, too! 

On the other hand, I find the whole idea of "a good neighbor" kind of stupid.  I have moved around a ton of places in my life and everywhere I've landed has had awesome people to get to know.  As a result, "my tribe" is actually a bunch of people strung across several cities/states/countries.  I love all those people and I'm so happy that I had a change to meet them and get to know them.  And I'm even more happy about meeting some of the new people that are moving into my current neighborhood. 

I mean, I suppose I could bitch that the new, big homes are "blocking my view of the lake
".  But really, what would be the point of that?  Or I could complain that some of the new people tend to keep to themselves.  But so what?  Not everyone needs to behave how I want them to behave.  Obviously not EVERY change is always for the better.  The only thing I know for certain is that things WILL change, and my only real choice is about how I respond to it.  I choose to be positive.

Ah......the big homes blocking your view......you could keep that view if you had bought the lot across the road....

spartana

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This is not a debate.  I'm stating the problem is not the generic concept of change.  And who says I'm miserable?

If you can't say that you participate in and contribute to your local community, I would rather have someone that does as a neighbor.  Living next door to someone that does not participate could be problematic or at least uncomfortable at times.  Oh, and it should be obvious that this has nothing to do with your race, culture or country of origin.  It's your attitude.
So you're saying that unless a person is highly involved with some sort of neighborhood activities and interacts with everyone then they are a "bad" neighbor? So a single kidless woman who doesn't have much in common with her married couple with kids neighbors who keeps to herself and her non-hood friends is a "bad" neighbor? Even if shes quiet, keeps her house and yard nice, and causes no harm to anyone and is friendly but keeps to herself then she's a "bad" neighbor? I'm that woman (minus the 100 cats ;-)) so guess I'd be a terrible addition to your hood.

Most of those folks are pleasant, decent people that at least peripherally participate.  Maybe this person is older, and needs a hand unloading the groceries or relighting the pilot light on the water heater.  In turn, you might get a tin of homemade candy at Christmas.  Little things count.  Since you are ex-military, I would think because of your background, you would use your training and skills in an emergency if your neighbors needed them.  Good to have you in the neighborhood, if that's your attitude.
No you wouldn't want me as a neighbor because by your definition you'd find me probmatic and I'd possibly make you uncomfortable because I don't participate in any neighborhood activities and don't really interact with my neighbor - I actually go out of my way to avoid interacting with them. Having skills and the ability and willingness to help others in an emergency big or small has nothing to do with my neighborhood interactions (or lack of interactions). That's about general human kindness and extends beyond just neighbors.

Like I said above, I am an extremely private person and don't wish to have more intimate interactions with my neighbors then a friendly wave and don't want them to have too much knowledge of my personal life. I find that very invasive. However I consider myself a good neighbor regardless if I interact or even know my neighbors. I'm not running a bordello or a crackhouse. I don't have hugh wild raves/ parties every weekend. I'm not blasting Death Metal at 3 a.m.  I don't have a junked up weedy overgrown lawn. My house is neat and clean.  My dogs aren't off running loose pooping on my neighbors yard or tearing up their gardens.  Etc. Those things are signs of being a good neighbor to me more so then being more involved with my neighbors. I also think a lot of the interactions that happen in neighborhood where people talk about others kids or spouses and life is just gossipy. I'm not interested in people knowing my life situation and talking about it to other neighbors (read the "my new neighbor is a drug dealer or prostitute" thread).
 
« Last Edit: April 13, 2019, 10:54:59 AM by spartana »

Cassie

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Itís a personal preference to interact with neighbors or not. We live in a older neighborhood and the people are super friendly. I see people when I walk the dogs and sometimes have pleasant conversations.  Our next door neighbor doesnít have a lot of money so when we bought a new couch asked if they wanted ours and they did. When our big dog died I gave them the bed because it was only a few months old. 
« Last Edit: April 14, 2019, 02:06:54 PM by Cassie »