Once Retired/Fired - Your Actual Monthly Living Expenses

[Edge of Reason]

Maybe this question has been asked before but I couldn't find a comparable thread.

What I'm wondering is what is typical of monthly spend for a retired couple. Please include food, heat, transportation (gas and insurance), cleaning (if applicable), etc. Please also include the country you live in so I can adjust for Canada (where they live).

I'm asking because my parents are about to move to an independent living apartment in the next few weeks. They are moving because of their age and the fact that they can no longer stay in their home (stairs and upkeep). As their financial power of attorney I've been involved in the lease arrangements and (since my mom has dementia) will meet with my dad and their financial advisor in the coming weeks to ensure they can continue this arrangement once the winter is over. I believe they can (they just sold a cottage and their house is still theirs and will provide another cash injection once sold). They also have a pension and some investments. I'll know the true story in a few weeks. Other than his arthritis, my dad (early 80s) has quite a few good years left. My mom is older (90) and has aged quite a bit over the last few years.

They have a month to month lease that includes absolutely everything (3 meals a day, transportation, heat, cleaning, entertainment, laundry, etc.) and they are also able to hire on-site nursing care should they need additional care. Although high, I thought their month to month rent was somewhat reasonable considering their situation. My dad says his pension will cover the lease payments but I will confirm that at the financial meeting.

Some of my co-workers balked at the monthly price and said they couldn't afford the amount once they retired. These are my superiors with high up positions/salaries. I was surprised at their reaction.  Maybe this place is overpriced...but we shopped around and determined that it was the nicest and most affordable option for now.

Thanks for your insight.

[Chris @ Saturday Financial]

I think the responses to this question will vary drastically based on location, personal preferences, living situation, etc.

Specifically, I think comparing a retired couple's all-in "normal" living expenses to your parent's all-in "independent living apartment" expenses is going to be an apples to oranges comparison. I would expect expenses for an independent living apartment to be substantially higher because choosing to live there is a choice to outsource everything from changing light-bulbs to cleaning bathrooms. If your parents are in a stage of life where that's what they need, then they shouldn't hesitate to make that choice as long as it is within their means.

It sounds like you already have a solid plan in place to meet with your parent's financial adviser to ensure that the living arrangement is within your parent's means. If it is, then great! You said you already shopped around for comparable options.  If this is the best combination of nice and affordable, then you don't need to worry about comparing the all-in costs with other retired couples who are in different locations and who aren't outsourcing 99% of their daily needs.

I realize this isn't a direct answer to your question - but I hope it's helpful. In short: If the arrangement is affordable for your parents and you've shopped around in your local area for comparable living situations, you shouldn't feel the least bit bad about the decision even if some of your co-workers raise their eyebrows at the cost.

[Omy]

My MIL lives comfortably on her own for less than $1500/mo. in a LCOL area in the US. DH and I live in a clown house in a HCOL area and pay 3-4 times that amount (which includes $1300/mo. in health insurance payments). What are the all-in costs you are trying to compare?

[secondcor521]

OP, my Dad currently lives in a place much like your parents are considering.  Independent living, meals in the dining room, transportation, etc.

I'm not going to say exactly what his costs are, because I don't have permission to share that information.

What I will say is that the price of his place here (Idaho) is about half or even less of a comparable place and living arrangement in California.

Also, it is probably three times my all in living costs (I live in my own house, have a car, and live a typical suburban lifestyle).

The price of assisted living or memory care raises the price significantly (+50% to +100%) and lowers the quality significantly (-30% to -50%).  So if your Mom might need memory care, you probably will want to look at what those costs are and see if they are viable long term at this place.  If the memory care there is too expensive, you may want to look at less expensive options now so you can afford the memory care later.  Or you may run the risk of moving your Mom to a new place right when she's declining and possibly emotionally vulnerable.

At my Dad's place they have independent living, assisted living, and memory care.  If your Mom might need memory care, you might want to visit that part of the place and make sure it's acceptable.

At my Dad's place, it is extraordinarily expensive to maintain an independent living arrangement for one spouse and memory care for the other.  I think in that situation, many couples both move into assisted living or memory care when one needs it.

Although assisted living is expensive, most people who move there don't seem to live more than a year or two longer after their move.  Memory care is similar although some people with Alzheimer's can live much longer (5-10 years maybe).

[BNgarden]

Not sure the actuals will be helpful, but my mid-80s parents are in a similar situation and facility.  (West coast Canada) They typically spend right around $1k per month over the lease rate, but they're out and about a bit in their car (avoiding buying meals outside the facility), and make charitable donations here and there. 

My mom has been assessed for dementia by a doctor for the disability tax credit and the paperwork sent in a few years ago.  They will consider reviewing tax years prior to the paperwork being sent in as well, as I recall.  It's a one-time thing, and she receives tax credits for her portion of housekeeping, meal preparation, occupational therapist and other wages paid through their monthly fee.  Works out to a goodly amount of the bill, and helps lower overall costs for them.  YMMV

[Linea_Norway]

Do you expect your father to take care of his dement wife? My FIL used to do that in his 70-ies and that broke him down in the end when she didn't sleep anymore and required around the clock care. When that is needed, put her in a care home. FIL got a higher pension from the state when they were living apart. Look into that option.

[RetiredAt63]

It sounds a lot like where my dad and step mom lived after they sold their townhouse.  They were fine financially.  Their only large separate expense was maintaining a car.  They weren't buying clothes and electronics, what they had was enough.

You will need to plan around your mother's dementia. At some point your father won't be able to care for her, even with all the support at the residence.

[Cassie]

As others have mentioned AL is much more expensive than living in your own place.  Here it’s 3400/month for a studio with 3 meals a day. This doesn’t include any type of assistance. Nursing homes here are 10k/month. In the states if people have to live separately the well spouse ends up in a bad spot despite some states anti-impoverishment laws.  People do not receive increased SS which someone mentioned happens in Europe.

[oldtoyota]

Hope you can find input from Canadians.

In the US, prices for dementia care can be $7K+ per month in a group setting.

As someone else pointed out, the well spouse can become impoverished by paying for 24-7 care for the sick one. This is in the US where we have little to no social programs or government support for these sorts of things.