Neighbors/Neighbours

[Edge of Reason]

Just wondering....

Since moving a lot to find the ultimate neighborhood is an expensive solution...

Who here has a good relationship with their neighbors? What makes it good?
If you don't have a good relationship, what caused your fallout?

And for context, how long have you lived where you live?

[OtherJen]

We’ve lived in our neighborhood for 15 years. People here are nice—no bad neighbors—but tend to keep to themselves unless they’re kids (who all seem to play together). We’re friendly but not close with the neighbors surrounding our property; we all have different life circumstances and interests, and one of them travels a lot for work.

When we moved in, two couples in our age group and their young children lived across the street, and we enjoyed barbecues and movie nights with them. Sadly, both couples have since divorced and moved out, and the people who later moved in have kept to themselves.

[big_slacker]

#1: Everyone has houses on .5 to 1 acre lots so our houses aren't 6" apart. :D

#2: Kids the same age that go to the same school.

#3: Half the town has the same employer, so common ground.

#4: Shared interests like mountain biking and camping.

Makes for good relations.

Things that make for bad neighbors, often just inconsiderate behavior like parties, loud music, leaving barking dogs outside all the time, 8 shitty cars parked everywhere but in front of their house and SOMETIMES you run into a busybody HOA nazi. Thankfully there is none of the above where my house is now.

[BudgetSlasher]

I've lived in my current house 4.5 years and have not interacted enough with my neighbors to consider it a relationship. For the three properties that abut us (1 to either side and 1 across the road, the 4th side is a river) I have spoken to the owners a total of 8 times.

Sure there is wave when pulling out of the driveway at the same time or when out clearing the snow in the early morning, but no much beyond that.

Edit: remembered the one time the neighbor came to tell us there was a moose in our back yard.

[Rural]

Have lived here ten years. Good relationships all around, though not much interaction. No neighbors are close enough to see or hear, though we can generally hear the nearest one's pack of hunting hounds when they all sound off. We like dogs a lot, plus that's the neighbor who got out and fought a wildfire beside us until the forestry service showed up, so he could have a lot more than dogs over there before we complained.

[Linea_Norway]

Even if your house has some distance to the next house, the neighbours still can bother you with noise. We have an outside barking dog neighbour and someone (I don't know who) who occasionally plays loud music at night. And we have a further away neighbour who has his dogs running loose in the neighbourhood and everyone's garden.

In our previous house we had a neighbour who collected old noisy diesel cars. A couple of times a year he would run them for hours, creating a lot of black smoke and a lot of noise. Later the house was used to stuff in 8 Roumanian handymen. The house didn't have a working septic tank and this caused a lot of smell further down the road. I lived higher up. There were also a lot of handyman-vans parked everywhere, because they couldn't reach the house's parking lot in the winter (steep and slippery road).

We have also other neighbours that we get along with in a good way. Not thick friends, but chatting when we meet and havings occasional meetings to discuss neighbourhood things. We have been on the neighbour's outdoor winter party several times.

I guess a good neighbour is someone you can communicate with in a friendly way and who you can call upon if you have a problem (like having a car with a flat battery). And someone who doesn't bother you with a lot of noise, especially not on inconvenient times.

[joonifloofeefloo]

I really like my neighbours. I basically love the one closest to me right now, and super enjoy all the others.

I’ve really liked my neighbours in most of the (many!) places I’ve lived.
What makes the best ones for me:
*silent (nothing barking, screaming, or banging)
*clean fuel (no diesel truck, no smokey burns)
*esthetics (tidy property well loved)
*friendly yet nonintrusive, yet will keep ears and eyes open for each other
*clean, safe living

One rotten neighbour left to run the show can do in a neighbourhood. For that reason, I like living in areas with good enforcement (bylaws with active officers, good police activity, excellent management of building/complex).

[mcluhan]

When I lived in Houston my neighbors to the right of my house used to have loud sex parties every weekend. They did invite me to several (no, I didn't attend), so I guess that was neighborly. The neighbors on the other side of my house were drug addicts that had a bulldog that barked all day and night. The neighbors directly behind me had a backyard garden that they used to fertilize with human feces. Very fragrant during the summer. I think they used to wonder why nobody accepted their offers of fresh vegetables. Sorry, I got off track... My neighborhood had no homeowners association, so it was very difficult to get any rules/deed restrictions enforced. Everyone did what they felt like doing, and this made it very unpleasant. I know HOA's can be a nightmare, but not having any enforceable rules really made living in my old neighborhood challenging. Next time I buy a house I'll definitely try and choose my neighborhood more carefully.

[mak1277]

My current neighborhood is the best I've ever lived in.  I don't know my neighbors names...they don't know mine.  We wave if we pass each other but never need to speak.  No loud noises, no bother.  Unfortunately I think it's just dumb luck.

[slackmax]

I live in a townhome development. Relations with neighbors are generally good. But currently on 'no eye contact / no speaking' terms with my immediate neighbor (attached) due to history of rude behavior concerning parking in front of my house even though I asked her not to (I know I don't own the street, just telling you why we aren't talking) and her wanting to do things with her property that violate zoning rules. In most categories she's the perfect neighbor : has a well paying professional job, is very quiet, has nice new car, dresses well, keeps her property immaculate.  Go figure.   

I get along with all the other neighbors, and have been invited inside some of their homes, and we help each other out with rides to airport, hospital, etc sometimes.  I even do handyman work for free sometimes (used to, anyway). Installed new screens, trimmed bushes.   

I just wave to some of them, though, as others have mentioned, haven't really interacted.   
   

[ketchup]

Currently living in the middle of nowhere, so no neighbors.  But in the past...

Good neighbors:
snowplow your driveway without prompting the day you're moving in
grill in their back yard and invite you over
help you push your car out of the snow/mud
let you borrow tools

Bad neighbors:
commence loud yard work at 6am on a Saturday
back into your car and then take off
bitch the HOA (falsely) about us not cleaning up dog shit
call animal control, claiming that we have garage filled with parrots (was not even remotely true)
talk snootily about "wanting to move into a better neighborhood" (in what was 100% the "best" neighborhood I've ever lived in by most people's metrics)

[Sibley]

I get along with all but one of my neighbors. The one I don't get along with is because she decided she didn't like me (d'x bipolar, LONGGGGG history of this kind of thing per other neighbors, and since I was literally out of town when she decided I was the devil, I believe them).

Good neighbors:
-are minimally friendly. Smile, say hi, wave, etc.
-don't cause property damage
-don't cause excessive noise, mess, etc
-clean up after their pets
-ensure their children don't cause damage/pay to fix it when the child does

[big_slacker]

How is diesel specifically more or less neighbor desirable than a gas car? You don't like poorly tuned vehicles, I doubt you'd care if one was belching black smoke vs white smoke. :D

[joonifloofeefloo]

How is diesel specifically more or less neighbor desirable than a gas car? You don't like poorly tuned vehicles, I doubt you'd care if one was belching black smoke vs white smoke. :D

My poor wording, yes :)   I thought someone might mention something around that.

I've had several rotten experiences with diesel vehicles, and I mixed that in to the "crap air" part of my post. The other rotten experiences I've had may also not have been specific to or necessary with diesel, but took place only with those. Now I'm diesel prejudiced and will have to delete that from my psyche to not be a jerk.

[badger1988]

We have exceptionally good neighbors on our block, even though we live in an area many people won't even consider around here. (Old houses on narrow lots with only 8' wide driveways in between, "undesirable" school district, etc.) We bought our house 7 years ago for $85k, and plan to stay here as long as we live in the area, mostly because of how good the neighbors are.

Just a few examples that come to mind:
-We share our stuff. I have never owned a lawnmower. I just use the neighbors. I buy gas for them. We share tools etc. No need for everyone to own a ladder if one person has one.
-We help each other. Cutting down trees, house projects, moving furniture. We help if we can, say no if we don't want to. One neighbor is a nurse. When my wife was home alone and one of our kids split his head open, she came over and helped out until I got home. Her husband also came over, cleaned up the blood, and held our infant while things were being taken care of.
-Lots of young kids that have fun together. I think there were 7 born on just our block the year our twins were born. We babysit each other's kids for free, and even the older neighbors who have grown children enjoy all the young ones. Everyone is ok with having the kids in their yards, so one of us has a nice playground, one has a playhouse, one has small swimming pool, one has swings etc. It is efficient, and less boring for the kids.
-Gardening. Many of us have small raised bed gardens. We exchange produce, seeds, plants, etc.
-We have a block party every summer - 100 percent attendance the last 2 years (12 houses)
-We look out for eachother. Crime is an issue in our area, especially vehicle theft...since we've been here 2 cars have been stolen from our block and many "rifled" through if doors aren't locked. We keep each other updated and call the police for each other. Two teenagers have been caught/arrested because of the vigilance of my neighbors.

For the first time ever, we aren't traveling back to visit family in Wisconsin for Thanksgiving. Instead, we are having a dinner here with two of the other families on our block.

We could easily afford to live in a more "desirable" neighborhood, but have no desire to move because of our good neighbors.

[CrustyBadger]

We've lived in our neighborhood for 15 years.

The house lots are fairly small and very few have driveways.  People need to park on the street and to some extent interact with neighbors everyday because we see each other every day.

Lots are small so people with kids don't spend a lot of time playing in the backyard or with private swimming pools.   There are several playgrounds within walking distance and that's where people with kids go to play with all the other kids.   There's a neighborhood swimming pool many people swim in.
 

[big_slacker]

How is diesel specifically more or less neighbor desirable than a gas car? You don't like poorly tuned vehicles, I doubt you'd care if one was belching black smoke vs white smoke. :D

My poor wording, yes :)   I thought someone might mention something around that.

I've had several rotten experiences with diesel vehicles, and I mixed that in to the "crap air" part of my post. The other rotten experiences I've had may also not have been specific to or necessary with diesel, but took place only with those. Now I'm diesel prejudiced and will have to delete that from my psyche to not be a jerk.

No worries, I get it. We've all see older crappy diesel cars spilling black smoke into the air. Or d-bag kids in lifted trucks 'rolling coal'. But diesel by itself isn't the enemy. :)

[Trimatty471]

Live in a townhouse.  Bad neighbors.

Current:

- Upon moving in, threw a major party that began 10pm on a Sunday night and lasted to 3am.  Later on that day, I discovered trash on my deck...I immediately knew they were trash.
-Stop speaking because I would allow members of their party to hang on my patio.
-Takes all of the parking spaces on the street.  Their household has 5 cars.  Even went as far as having a friend hold a spot thereby preventing myself and my other neighbors from parking.
-Slobs. Yard looks nasty.  Kids drop food On the steps and they do not pickup.  Therefore draws critters.
-allows their dog to run up on my lawn and poop.  Sometimes do not clean up.
-stop speaking to me because I would not allow them to lay their stuff on my property.
-obnoxious. 
-allow their other animals to roam my property
-do not speak. Not friendly. Not even cordial. 
-cannot prove it but I believe they scraped my bumper.
-report me to L&I when I was in the process of having repairs
-allow their dog to howl and/or bark in the house all night.
-allow kid to play basketball in the house
-slamming doors and drawers at midnight and beyond
-occasionally "loud sex":  with headboard banging and all

Past:
-Threw a rock through my window and put a sledgehammer through my retaining wall because I went  lock my fence.  Apparently, this animal felt that his kid should have access to MY backyard.  The kid subsequently vandalized my property for several years thereafter.
-Drug Dealers/Druggies:  Up all night, Sleep during the day.
-Every Friday night, my neighbor use to blow boogers on my step.  I sent him a letter outlining everything that was unacceptable...he stopped.
-Used my lawn as their personal ashtray.

[Trimatty471]

One rotten neighbour left to run the show can do in a neighbourhood. For that reason, I like living in areas with good enforcement (bylaws with active officers, good police activity, excellent management of building/complex).

Here, here. I dealt with a lot in the past 11 years.  But I am seeking such areas so that I may have a peace of mind.

[Trimatty471]

Good Neighbors

-considerate:  no mowing the lawn at 8:00 at night.  No blaring your club house speakers until the break of dawn, no blaring your televisions all night.
-speak or stay to themselves.   More important is that they stay in their lane.  Meaning we do not have community property.  If you want to borrow something, or need room to lexpand for whatever reason,just ask.
-keep an eye on your house.

[LetItGrow]

Good Neighbors

-considerate:  no mowing the lawn at 8:00 at night.  No blaring your club house speakers until the break of dawn, no blaring your televisions all night.
-speak or stay to themselves.   More important is that they stay in their lane.  Meaning we do not have community property.  If you want to borrow something, or need room to lexpand for whatever reason,just ask.
-keep an eye on your house.

These sum it up concisely for me. We have had that for the last several years. Peaceful coexistence.

If you have a bad one, remember, communication often solves the smaller issues.

[Sibley]

Good Neighbors

-considerate:  no mowing the lawn at 8:00 at night.  No blaring your club house speakers until the break of dawn, no blaring your televisions all night.
-speak or stay to themselves.   More important is that they stay in their lane.  Meaning we do not have community property.  If you want to borrow something, or need room to lexpand for whatever reason,just ask.
-keep an eye on your house.

These sum it up concisely for me. We have had that for the last several years. Peaceful coexistence.

If you have a bad one, remember, communication often solves the smaller issues.

I will admit that in the summer I will sometimes mow the lawn in the evenings. However, I mow the lawn once a week at most, and once it gets dry and the grass stops growing so quickly, I will mow every 2-3 weeks. Overall, I'm a pretty quiet, slightly odd, neighbor. I think the rest of the neighborhood is quite happy to have me, considering the guy to my north is d'x paranoid schizophrenic (luckily, he likes me so I don't have any problems), and the woman to my south has basically made the entire town hate her because she's nasty and d'x bipolar (2 separate issues there). Compared to that, I think they're all just fine with me periodically mowing the lawn in the evenings and whatever other odd things I do. At least I'm polite to everyone.

[ducky19]

We live on a cul-de-sac with 9 houses, been here 4-1/2 years now. Total on the 'sac there are 15 kids. Nearly everyone has someone to play with - our son has 4 other boys around the same age. They fight like brothers sometimes, but usually get along great. Our neighbor across the street is 93 and loves having kids knock on her door, climb her trees, etc. She baked us a loaf of bread when we moved in and had an ice cream social for us. Our one neighbor has a pumpkin carving party for Halloween. Another made a projection screen in his back yard for the Cubs epic run a couple years ago. We've had countless pool parties with the neighbors. Not sure how we lucked into such a great neighborhood, but we love living on the 'sac!

[joonifloofeefloo]

I'd love to see a lawn mowing time. (See how much I love regulated areas??) Like, everyone in a 'hood does theirs Tuesdays 11-12 or Saturdays 3-4. People can put on noise-cancelling headphones or head out for a bit, and then all the noise is over for the week.

In my last neighbourhood, it seemed like Joe would wait for Mary to stop, then start his, and cue Beth to take over right after. So "one person mowing" was actually one after another after another after another.

[DreamFIRE]

I get a long fine with my neighbors - I don't go out of my way to talk to them.  The best neighbor to me is a quiet neighbor.

[soccerluvof4]

I get a long fine with my neighbors - I don't go out of my way to talk to them.  The best neighbor to me is a quiet neighbor.

I agree with DreamFire. We get along great with out Neighbors because the contact is limited and its quiet.

[jeninco]

We live on a block of fairly close small houses. Our neighbors are nearly all friendly, all look out for everyone else, including their kids, cars, and houses. We shovel for several neighbors if we get up first: they shovel for us if they get out ahead of us. There's an older neighbor across the street who's nearly housebound -- her walk is always shoveled early, her newspaper is carried to her door, her trash can is taken in and out on trash-day. We water each other's gardens when folks are out of town, pick up mail, and generally like each other. There are a couple of gatherings each year (which some folks attend, and some don't -- no pressure).

We used to organize more stuff, including pumpkin-carving parties, but my kids are too old for that stuff now, so it's someone else's turn to take it over -- or not.  A number of families here are proto-mustachians, and several people have retired early, or early-ish.  There are also a surprising number of folks who are either retired, work from home, or work odd hours, so there generally are several sets of eyes on things.

I really like my end of the block: it's part of what's encouraging us to stay where we are!

[Cassie]

We have been at our home for 6 years and people are great. It’s a older neighborhood right in town. People are much friendlier than when I lived in the burbs. We only have 1 car garages that most use for storage so you see people going into their cars. I think that helps. We have a combination of retirees and young families.