Author Topic: Need advice on my budget-Single mom -Going through a Divorce  (Read 4540 times)

alexabreana

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Need advice on my budget-Single mom -Going through a Divorce
« on: December 22, 2015, 10:18:23 PM »
Income 5,000 this includes $1645 in child support/spousal support

Rent: $2195 I live in Sunny Expensive San Diego, CA
Groceries: $800  I have 3 teen and myself
Gas Car two$ cards teen and self: $250
Electricity: $100
Netflix: 11
Savings $600
Trash/Water $44
Two cell phones $71 (republic wireless and AT&T)
Internet $62
Clothing $100
3 credit cars $100 working on getting these paid
Kids activities $300
Restaurant eating out $200
Entertainment $200
Personal Loan to pay for divorce $145

Full time job: I work for the city of of San Diego - I invest 15% of my income in retirement.  I have a nice gov. pension


I am currently going through a divorce I just separated about two months I am trying to figure my budget. I have an active Real estate license and the San Diego market is good.. going to start doing real estate on the weekends to increase my income.  selling one single home in my area will give me a commission of 10K to 15K  I live in a new development area with nice schools and parks.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Christina



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alexabreana

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Re: Need advice on my budget-Single mom -Going through a Divorce
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2015, 10:57:53 PM »
Great advice, thank you for taking the time to write me back.

1. I think I can get groceries down to $600
2. gas is high because my two cars two for expeditions that use lots of gas-cant sell at the moment because of the divorce.  my kids don't have part time jobs. working on this as we speak.
3. going to request an audit -great idea
4. clothing- I have all girls and they are spoiled and would never do thrift store.  I could try maybe with the youngest one.
5. kids activities - I need to work on reducing this one
6. eating out- also need to work on this one-might start using groupons --they offer great deal in my city.

Again, thanks for your advice

Christina



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Re: Need advice on my budget-Single mom -Going through a Divorce
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2015, 01:17:21 AM »
Your outgoings (including your regular savings amount) are more than your income, so Ihamo's advice is good stuff to follow.

Congratulations on the retirement savings/pension.  Do you have money going into an emergency fund as well?

Your income is actually pretty decent.  I wonder whether your teens might be better off with you around at weekends for the moment, rather than going off to earn more?  Particularly given the recent family split?   If you can use the weekends to provide stability at home and perhaps instill some mustachian values in them it could be the greater overall value for the moment.  The real estate gig sounds a good one to get into in a little while, when family things have settled and your expenses are under control - cash coming in in that sort of lump sum could add up to a deposit on a home in due course, and as your teens grow up and away the home size required will reduce, perhaps bringing it into the realms of affordability even in San Diego, or if not in some lower cost location.

Good luck.

pbkmaine

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Re: Need advice on my budget-Single mom -Going through a Divorce
« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2015, 01:30:50 AM »
About your girls being spoiled - I became a stepmother to 3 girls when they were teenagers. We were responsible for their clothing and personal items. What we did was give them an amount of money to spend as they chose. We were quite firm that it was all they would get aside from birthdays and Christmas. Once they were in control of the money, it was amazing how quickly they learned to budget. We did not care whether they bought thrifted or new clothes, but it quickly became obvious to them that their money would go much farther in a thrift shop. They are all good with money today.


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2Cent

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Re: Need advice on my budget-Single mom -Going through a Divorce
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2015, 02:27:20 AM »
About your girls being spoiled - I became a stepmother to 3 girls when they were teenagers. We were responsible for their clothing and personal items. What we did was give them an amount of money to spend as they chose. We were quite firm that it was all they would get aside from birthdays and Christmas. Once they were in control of the money, it was amazing how quickly they learned to budget. We did not care whether they bought thrifted or new clothes, but it quickly became obvious to them that their money would go much farther in a thrift shop. They are all good with money today.


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This is a great idea. You could extend this to activities as well.

As you're dividing things in the divorce. Maybe you can let him have the cars while you get something else. That will save you from having to sell them.

Monkey Uncle

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Re: Need advice on my budget-Single mom -Going through a Divorce
« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2015, 04:30:04 AM »
Actually, OP's clothing expense isn't all that terrible.  It works out to $300/person for a year.  For comparison, my wife, son, and I spent about $230/person this year.  That's a bit high for us due to having to replace more items than normal.  Last year we spent around $120/person for the year.  We consider our clothing expenditures to be considerably lower than most people.  For work, I dress casually in clothes that have been in my closet for years (some for decades), and we all wear clothes until they fall apart.  So for someone who has to dress nicely for work and doesn't really have the option of wearing old, worn, out-of-style clothes, I don't think $300/person for a year is unreasonable.  Sure, there's always room for improvement, but the OP isn't going to make a huge difference in her situation by tightening up the clothes budget.

All that said, the idea of giving the girls an allowance and making them responsible for their own purchases is a great one because of the life lesson it teaches.

redcedar

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Re: Need advice on my budget-Single mom -Going through a Divorce
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2015, 04:44:56 AM »
Congrats to you for taking your finances seriously during such a big change in your life. It wont be easy since I am 100% certain that you will face quite a few curveballs as the divorce is finalized. So don't fret if the financial plan you are setting now isn't exactly what it looks like in a year. You are off to a great start and that is most of the battle.


Income 5,000 this includes $1645 in child support/spousal support

If the spousal support ends before child support or steps down over time, begin planning for ways to deal with the reduction. We get child support for our oldest son and began a savings plan three years before the support will end. The plan is to save 20% year 1, 40% year 2, and 60% in the last year. After the support ends, we have forced ourselves to be comfortable spending just 40% in the last year and the amount we saved allows us to pull out that same 40% for three years. Its a forced way to extend the support for a few years albeit at a lower level.


Groceries: $800  I have 3 teen and myself
Gas Car two$ cards teen and self: $250
Clothing $100
Kids activities $300
Restaurant eating out $200
Entertainment $200
Groceries - teenage kids are a grocery budgets worst nightmare. They will test your resolve here monthly. Definitely read up on the forum posts here on frugal cooking. There are so many great posts on how you can not only save a ton by planning meals but also eat healthier overall. Rice, beans, oatmeal, etc can really stretch your dollar and can be worked into even complainypants teen meals when done in a creative way.

Gas, Clothing, Activities - its a hard reality on teens that they are part of the divorce and things will change for them. Most parents work to ignore this or avoid it. You can tackle it head on with the kids by discussing openly how it affects your budget and that you need everyone to come together as a team to help. The kids can help by being aware of how all of their little asks really add up and the older kids can contribute more over time to these categories. I think it is very important to position this as a team effort to squeeze as much fun and enjoyment out of the money you have and not how you can cut back and live within a tight budget. Your phrasing and attitude about it will be key. 

Full time job: I work for the city of of San Diego - I invest 15% of my income in retirement.  I have a nice gov. pension
Research additional employer options for retirement. Many government jobs have multiple options and you want to know about all of them so that you can rank them and being contributing to them in a certain order as you invest more over the years. Now many government employers don't make it so easy to find and learn about options so after some online searching of their site, I would recommend calling their payroll/finance department and asking alot of questions.

I have an active Real estate license and the San Diego market is good..
Excellent side hustle opportunity. Don't let your license lapse while you are working out all of the divorce details.


Ex-covers health insurance and car insurance for now
For now....may be a big concern in the future. Consider how you can extend this as long as possible. For the health insurance, you can cover your children up to age 26. This may seem excessive but it may be a better deal for all involved and with multiple kids it is fairly likely that one will be a slow starter and require some extra years of support (consider turning them onto this forum when they are mature enough to understand it).

Kris

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Re: Need advice on my budget-Single mom -Going through a Divorce
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2015, 06:26:03 AM »
About your girls being spoiled - I became a stepmother to 3 girls when they were teenagers. We were responsible for their clothing and personal items. What we did was give them an amount of money to spend as they chose. We were quite firm that it was all they would get aside from birthdays and Christmas. Once they were in control of the money, it was amazing how quickly they learned to budget. We did not care whether they bought thrifted or new clothes, but it quickly became obvious to them that their money would go much farther in a thrift shop. They are all good with money today.


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This os a great idea.  Allowing your girls to continue being spoiled without giving them the means to learn how to be better with money is a disservice that will continue to negatively impact them in their adult lives.  Your role is to teach thrm, and this is an excellent way to do so.

Mr.Tako

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Re: Need advice on my budget-Single mom -Going through a Divorce
« Reply #8 on: December 23, 2015, 11:09:40 AM »
Is there any possibility of moving to a cheaper place?  With so much disruption in your life, it may be mentally easier to make that move now.  Take your entertainment and eating out budget down to zero.  Those are completely optional.  There's plenty of free entertainment out there, and you can eat at home or pack meals.

Is there a possibility of finding a cheaper internet package?  In such a large city, I would think you have several options here.  Slow internet is way better than no-internet.  That said, could you live without it and rely completely on your phone?

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!