Author Topic: Mustachian gifts for families  (Read 5153 times)

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 22319
  • Age: 66
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Mustachian gifts for families
« Reply #50 on: November 27, 2021, 07:00:02 PM »
I have never owned merino wool socks.  I wonder if I need to rectify that situation.

Count me among those who get red itchy feet from wool socks, so not a universal gift (because they don't exist).  However, I just found out that my kids are wearing their wool biking socks at university because their feet are always cold, so I ordered some made in the USA wool blend socks from Costco as Christmas gifts.  We've done Darn Tough in the past (as a biking sock), but even though my kids don't have wide feet, they thought the Darn Tough were too tight.  I think it has to do with the universal sizing -- with size 12 feet there's less material available for fitting around the foot.  DH with his size 10 feet thinks Darn Tough are fine.

But for young adults, I think the Costco socks will be fine, and are something they can afford to replace for themselves when they need to.  I have a good friend who sings the praises of the Costco socks, so we'll see how they are.

OP: I'm glad you found an idea that works for you.  You're absolutely right -- it's fine to choose to exchange gifts.  From your wording I thought maybe you don't want to gift but feel like you have to.  Since that's not the case, more power to you for standing up for yourself.  Within my family, one reason for working so hard to eliminate gift giving was knowing that most of our siblings were constantly asking our respective parents for economic outpatient care, and receiving it.  We hated knowing we were getting gifts that in reality had been paid for by our parents, or put onto credit cards, and even worse, that a couple of those parents were then getting themselves into more credit card debt.  Not everyone would see it that way, but if a sibling is asking for money for rent/utilities/medication/credit card payments every month, then any gift purchased by them was with money they didn't have and which our parents were making up for.  I could easily choose to spend $100 per family, or per person, but it would create a lopsided gift situation that would come back around and bite my dad in the butt since he would be the one shelling out the cash my siblings don't have.  (Plus I don't like the consumerism of it and wanted to take the focus off gifts at Christmas. moving the bigger gifts to birthdays).
Re: Costco socks. We have one of those stores that sells Costco returns. I bought several pair of the wool blend socks and they're holding up well, except they look like they're really trying to pill. No matter for DH, as they're work socks and work fine in under with his Costco Weatherproof fleece lined jeans. He has very w-i-d-e feet, size 11, and they fit him snugly, but not too much so.

RetiredAt63

  • CMTO 2023 Attendees
  • Senior Mustachian
  • *
  • Posts: 20746
  • Location: Eastern Ontario, Canada
Re: Mustachian gifts for families
« Reply #51 on: November 27, 2021, 07:38:10 PM »
Do you have anyone in your back pocket that makes extra-wide merino wool socks? Darn Tough are TOO NARROW. For ref: shoe size men's 12 4E. Yes, I have boats for feet. I have some Darn Tough, but they don't really like going that wide and wear quickly.

Learn to knit.  There are masses of books on knitting socks.  Custom sized socks are wonderful. Lots of different yarns, it doesn't have to be wool, and most sock wools are superwash and therefore less scratchy, all the little scales are gone.  AND with feet that big, knit them yourself!!!


Best gifts - what the person wants. Seriously.  Two of my best gifts were a stand mixer and a belt sander.  Obviously the givers had asked me what I wanted, and both thought they were too practical for gifts.  We were on a tight budget and I couldn't afford them, but really wanted them.  I wore the sander out, and I still have the stand mixer.  Great gifts.

The best gift I ever gave, remembered for many years, were Star Trek uniform jackets for my niece and nephew. Ex couldn't see why I would go to all that effort for his sister's kids, but his gift giving is very conventional.  Niece had picked up an authentic pattern at a con, and I bought a pattern for nephew and modified it because it wasn't very authentic.  The fabric and notions were not cheap, and they took a lot of time to make. They loved them and got raves wearing them at cons.

Practical gifts are great if you know the recipient will like them.  I have given DD snow tires (the message is - I love her, I want her safe) and furniture when she was on a tight budget.

For hobbyists, really I think a gift card is best, or even better a pre-paid credit card.  Then they can buy what they want where they want.  For people doing home renovations, a gift card to Canadian Tire or Rona or Home Hardware (or Lowes or Home Depot) or whatever stores they are likely to use.

Seriously, if someone wants to give me a gift card, make it Canadian Tire, I just spent over $200 there.   ;-) I think gift cards are fine if you specify what you want them spent on, in a general way.  I gave all my nieces and nephews money for their honeymoon, to be spent on a fun activity they would not otherwise have done.  They all told me what the money was spent on, it gave them lots of fun.

But mostly in our family we are at the point we only do gifts for close relatives under 18.

Morning Glory

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4866
  • Location: The Garden Path
Re: Mustachian gifts for families
« Reply #52 on: November 27, 2021, 08:09:01 PM »
I have never owned merino wool socks.  I wonder if I need to rectify that situation.

Count me among those who get red itchy feet from wool socks, so not a universal gift (because they don't exist).  However, I just found out that my kids are wearing their wool biking socks at university because their feet are always cold, so I ordered some made in the USA wool blend socks from Costco as Christmas gifts.  We've done Darn Tough in the past (as a biking sock), but even though my kids don't have wide feet, they thought the Darn Tough were too tight.  I think it has to do with the universal sizing -- with size 12 feet there's less material available for fitting around the foot.  DH with his size 10 feet thinks Darn Tough are fine.

But for young adults, I think the Costco socks will be fine, and are something they can afford to replace for themselves when they need to.  I have a good friend who sings the praises of the Costco socks, so we'll see how they are.

OP: I'm glad you found an idea that works for you.  You're absolutely right -- it's fine to choose to exchange gifts.  From your wording I thought maybe you don't want to gift but feel like you have to.  Since that's not the case, more power to you for standing up for yourself.  Within my family, one reason for working so hard to eliminate gift giving was knowing that most of our siblings were constantly asking our respective parents for economic outpatient care, and receiving it.  We hated knowing we were getting gifts that in reality had been paid for by our parents, or put onto credit cards, and even worse, that a couple of those parents were then getting themselves into more credit card debt.  Not everyone would see it that way, but if a sibling is asking for money for rent/utilities/medication/credit card payments every month, then any gift purchased by them was with money they didn't have and which our parents were making up for.  I could easily choose to spend $100 per family, or per person, but it would create a lopsided gift situation that would come back around and bite my dad in the butt since he would be the one shelling out the cash my siblings don't have.  (Plus I don't like the consumerism of it and wanted to take the focus off gifts at Christmas. moving the bigger gifts to birthdays).
Re: Costco socks. We have one of those stores that sells Costco returns. I bought several pair of the wool blend socks and they're holding up well, except they look like they're really trying to pill. No matter for DH, as they're work socks and work fine in under with his Costco Weatherproof fleece lined jeans. He has very w-i-d-e feet, size 11, and they fit him snugly, but not too much so.

I got a pack of the Costco merino wool blend socks for Christmas last year and they are still going strong! They are much more breathable than any other warm socks I've ever had, so I don't have that hot->sweaty->wet->cold->chilblains cycle any more.
« Last Edit: November 27, 2021, 08:11:24 PM by Morning Glory »

MrThatsDifferent

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2317
Re: Mustachian gifts for families
« Reply #53 on: November 28, 2021, 01:09:21 PM »
I have never owned merino wool socks.  I wonder if I need to rectify that situation.

Count me among those who get red itchy feet from wool socks, so not a universal gift (because they don't exist).  However, I just found out that my kids are wearing their wool biking socks at university because their feet are always cold, so I ordered some made in the USA wool blend socks from Costco as Christmas gifts.  We've done Darn Tough in the past (as a biking sock), but even though my kids don't have wide feet, they thought the Darn Tough were too tight.  I think it has to do with the universal sizing -- with size 12 feet there's less material available for fitting around the foot.  DH with his size 10 feet thinks Darn Tough are fine.

But for young adults, I think the Costco socks will be fine, and are something they can afford to replace for themselves when they need to.  I have a good friend who sings the praises of the Costco socks, so we'll see how they are.

OP: I'm glad you found an idea that works for you.  You're absolutely right -- it's fine to choose to exchange gifts.  From your wording I thought maybe you don't want to gift but feel like you have to.  Since that's not the case, more power to you for standing up for yourself.  Within my family, one reason for working so hard to eliminate gift giving was knowing that most of our siblings were constantly asking our respective parents for economic outpatient care, and receiving it.  We hated knowing we were getting gifts that in reality had been paid for by our parents, or put onto credit cards, and even worse, that a couple of those parents were then getting themselves into more credit card debt.  Not everyone would see it that way, but if a sibling is asking for money for rent/utilities/medication/credit card payments every month, then any gift purchased by them was with money they didn't have and which our parents were making up for.  I could easily choose to spend $100 per family, or per person, but it would create a lopsided gift situation that would come back around and bite my dad in the butt since he would be the one shelling out the cash my siblings don't have.  (Plus I don't like the consumerism of it and wanted to take the focus off gifts at Christmas. moving the bigger gifts to birthdays).

My issue with the gifting is having to have gifts for everyone. There’s no getting around it’s exhausting and expensive. However, I can’t just buy for my immediate family and ignore the aunts/uncles and cousins, we’re not built like that, as this side of the family is pretty close. Also, everyone is employed and doing relatively well, so it becomes, what do you get people who can get whatever they want for themselves without blowing the budget? A couple years ago, before I discovered MMM I went a bit crazy and bought very nice and multiple presents for everyone. I went overboard. My thinking has shifted and I’m not full on frugal, but I definitely won’t be doing that again. If I had my way, we’d be doing Secret Santa but I lost that battle and can’t play it alone. As mentioned, my growth is controlling my spending, while playing along, and trying to make more thoughtful decisions. Appreciate the ideas people shared, they’ve helped.

Villanelle

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6657
Re: Mustachian gifts for families
« Reply #54 on: November 28, 2021, 01:42:06 PM »
I have never owned merino wool socks.  I wonder if I need to rectify that situation.

Count me among those who get red itchy feet from wool socks, so not a universal gift (because they don't exist).  However, I just found out that my kids are wearing their wool biking socks at university because their feet are always cold, so I ordered some made in the USA wool blend socks from Costco as Christmas gifts.  We've done Darn Tough in the past (as a biking sock), but even though my kids don't have wide feet, they thought the Darn Tough were too tight.  I think it has to do with the universal sizing -- with size 12 feet there's less material available for fitting around the foot.  DH with his size 10 feet thinks Darn Tough are fine.

But for young adults, I think the Costco socks will be fine, and are something they can afford to replace for themselves when they need to.  I have a good friend who sings the praises of the Costco socks, so we'll see how they are.

OP: I'm glad you found an idea that works for you.  You're absolutely right -- it's fine to choose to exchange gifts.  From your wording I thought maybe you don't want to gift but feel like you have to.  Since that's not the case, more power to you for standing up for yourself.  Within my family, one reason for working so hard to eliminate gift giving was knowing that most of our siblings were constantly asking our respective parents for economic outpatient care, and receiving it.  We hated knowing we were getting gifts that in reality had been paid for by our parents, or put onto credit cards, and even worse, that a couple of those parents were then getting themselves into more credit card debt.  Not everyone would see it that way, but if a sibling is asking for money for rent/utilities/medication/credit card payments every month, then any gift purchased by them was with money they didn't have and which our parents were making up for.  I could easily choose to spend $100 per family, or per person, but it would create a lopsided gift situation that would come back around and bite my dad in the butt since he would be the one shelling out the cash my siblings don't have.  (Plus I don't like the consumerism of it and wanted to take the focus off gifts at Christmas. moving the bigger gifts to birthdays).

My issue with the gifting is having to have gifts for everyone. There’s no getting around it’s exhausting and expensive. However, I can’t just buy for my immediate family and ignore the aunts/uncles and cousins, we’re not built like that, as this side of the family is pretty close. Also, everyone is employed and doing relatively well, so it becomes, what do you get people who can get whatever they want for themselves without blowing the budget? A couple years ago, before I discovered MMM I went a bit crazy and bought very nice and multiple presents for everyone. I went overboard. My thinking has shifted and I’m not full on frugal, but I definitely won’t be doing that again. If I had my way, we’d be doing Secret Santa but I lost that battle and can’t play it alone. As mentioned, my growth is controlling my spending, while playing along, and trying to make more thoughtful decisions. Appreciate the ideas people shared, they’ve helped.

Another strategy to consider is shopping year round, assuming you can be confident your recipient list isn't going to change.  I love being able to give someone a $50 gift that only cost me $20 because I found a sale and stacked a coupon code, or found it secondhand but NWT.  DH laughs at me because my holiday shopping often starts in January at the after Christmas sales. 

GreenSheep

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1072
Re: Mustachian gifts for families
« Reply #55 on: November 28, 2021, 03:31:52 PM »
Another strategy to consider is shopping year round, assuming you can be confident your recipient list isn't going to change.  I love being able to give someone a $50 gift that only cost me $20 because I found a sale and stacked a coupon code, or found it secondhand but NWT.  DH laughs at me because my holiday shopping often starts in January at the after Christmas sales.

I try to do this, too, keeping in mind that people's tastes might change and/or that they might buy for themselves the thing I was hoping to give them! I also keep gifts in mind when I travel, especially to places where it's still possible to get something unique that you can't just order online. I don't want to give junky souvenirs, but if I can find something nice that's handmade in a place I went to, etc. then for the right person, that's a fun gift.

Another sort of generic gift that becomes personalized is a framed photo. Of course you wouldn't want someone to feel compelled to hang it on their wall if they hate it (or just don't have room for it), but if you know their tastes well enough, a framed photo (or framed collage, photo book, etc.) of a new pet, a trip you took together, fun times together throughout the year, etc. can be well received.

Villanelle

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6657
Re: Mustachian gifts for families
« Reply #56 on: November 28, 2021, 04:06:43 PM »
Another strategy to consider is shopping year round, assuming you can be confident your recipient list isn't going to change.  I love being able to give someone a $50 gift that only cost me $20 because I found a sale and stacked a coupon code, or found it secondhand but NWT.  DH laughs at me because my holiday shopping often starts in January at the after Christmas sales.

I try to do this, too, keeping in mind that people's tastes might change and/or that they might buy for themselves the thing I was hoping to give them! I also keep gifts in mind when I travel, especially to places where it's still possible to get something unique that you can't just order online. I don't want to give junky souvenirs, but if I can find something nice that's handmade in a place I went to, etc. then for the right person, that's a fun gift.

Another sort of generic gift that becomes personalized is a framed photo. Of course you wouldn't want someone to feel compelled to hang it on their wall if they hate it (or just don't have room for it), but if you know their tastes well enough, a framed photo (or framed collage, photo book, etc.) of a new pet, a trip you took together, fun times together throughout the year, etc. can be well received.

Yes! My dad almost always receives a tee shirt from somewhere we've traveled.  As long as I can find something witty or alcohol related (or ideally, both!) I know he will wear it, and I think both he and my mom love the fact that it shows that that we are thinking of them when we are out adventuring, which is probably worth far more to them than the shirt.  Certainly these aren't the cheapest tees, but I think the thoughtfulness value is well worth it.  I also always look while we travel for handmade or kitchen things mom will like.

AMandM

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1673
Re: Mustachian gifts for families
« Reply #57 on: November 28, 2021, 05:26:13 PM »
An alternative to a framed photo/collage is a small photo album or a custom printed photo book. They take up a lot less space. The custom print ones go on sale and/or have coupons multiple times a year.

kenner

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 146
Re: Mustachian gifts for families
« Reply #58 on: December 05, 2021, 09:14:41 AM »
Another strategy to consider is shopping year round, assuming you can be confident your recipient list isn't going to change.  I love being able to give someone a $50 gift that only cost me $20 because I found a sale and stacked a coupon code, or found it secondhand but NWT.  DH laughs at me because my holiday shopping often starts in January at the after Christmas sales.

I try to do this, too, keeping in mind that people's tastes might change and/or that they might buy for themselves the thing I was hoping to give them! I also keep gifts in mind when I travel, especially to places where it's still possible to get something unique that you can't just order online. I don't want to give junky souvenirs, but if I can find something nice that's handmade in a place I went to, etc. then for the right person, that's a fun gift.

Another sort of generic gift that becomes personalized is a framed photo. Of course you wouldn't want someone to feel compelled to hang it on their wall if they hate it (or just don't have room for it), but if you know their tastes well enough, a framed photo (or framed collage, photo book, etc.) of a new pet, a trip you took together, fun times together throughout the year, etc. can be well received.

Digital frames are an option here too--for my one remaining grandparent (who absolutely doesn't need or want anything to add to the house, and consumables are very tricky given dietary restrictions), one aunt collects a few pictures from each family at the beginning of December and makes an updated card for his photo frame.  If there are any old photos he wants to keep, like the ones with my grandmother in them, she copies those across, swaps out the cards, and for the new year he has a new set of photos to look at.

MrThatsDifferent

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2317
Re: Mustachian gifts for families
« Reply #59 on: December 05, 2021, 12:16:27 PM »
Another strategy to consider is shopping year round, assuming you can be confident your recipient list isn't going to change.  I love being able to give someone a $50 gift that only cost me $20 because I found a sale and stacked a coupon code, or found it secondhand but NWT.  DH laughs at me because my holiday shopping often starts in January at the after Christmas sales.

I try to do this, too, keeping in mind that people's tastes might change and/or that they might buy for themselves the thing I was hoping to give them! I also keep gifts in mind when I travel, especially to places where it's still possible to get something unique that you can't just order online. I don't want to give junky souvenirs, but if I can find something nice that's handmade in a place I went to, etc. then for the right person, that's a fun gift.

Another sort of generic gift that becomes personalized is a framed photo. Of course you wouldn't want someone to feel compelled to hang it on their wall if they hate it (or just don't have room for it), but if you know their tastes well enough, a framed photo (or framed collage, photo book, etc.) of a new pet, a trip you took together, fun times together throughout the year, etc. can be well received.

Digital frames are an option here too--for my one remaining grandparent (who absolutely doesn't need or want anything to add to the house, and consumables are very tricky given dietary restrictions), one aunt collects a few pictures from each family at the beginning of December and makes an updated card for his photo frame.  If there are any old photos he wants to keep, like the ones with my grandmother in them, she copies those across, swaps out the cards, and for the new year he has a new set of photos to look at.

Yes! A cousin is doing that for our last remaining grandparent for this xmas. I know she’ll love it.

Villanelle

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6657
Re: Mustachian gifts for families
« Reply #60 on: December 05, 2021, 06:12:32 PM »
Some digital frames come with an email address that allows anyone with the address to add a photo to the frame by just emailing it.  Someone would likely need to set up the frame initially, assuming the recipient isn't very tech-y, but then you could give the email address to all the family members, and people could randomly add photos, which might be a nice, ongoing surprise for the recipient. 

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!