COVID/Isolation making people more of who they really are?

[asauer]

Here's my observation over the last few weeks with co-workers, friends, family and neighbors.  Those that are always helpful and kind have been more so in the last couple of weeks.  Those that are snipey, backbiting and unpleasant are acting even worse.  I'm sure my own stress is intensifying the lenses I have for these folks but jeez.  I want to come across the interwebs at some of my coworkers and just yell 'back the f off Karen!"  Anybody else notice this?

[FIRE Artist]

I am noticing that I and others are super, super stressed, and I find that I and others are also more open and honest about that stress than we might have been in the past.  I think this is because so much communication has shifted to online, just like what we have always seen on the interwebs, people are more comfortable communicating things they might not otherwise have done in person (both the good and the bad). 

So yeah, not surprised with your observations at all. 

[wenchsenior]

I don't know about the OP's observation, buy my husband has observed that a lot of self-described introverts in his social/work circle (introversion has become weirdly 'trendy' lately) are very obviously shown to NOT be introverts within a few days of social distancing instructions going into effect.

[NotJen]

I don't know about the OP's observation, buy my husband has observed that a lot of self-described introverts in his social/work circle (introversion has become weirdly 'trendy' lately) are very obviously shown to NOT be introverts within a few days of social distancing instructions going into effect.

Being an introvert doesn't mean you like to be alone all the time.  It means that you need time alone to recharge.  But once recharged (as we probably all are by now!), we really do need social interaction to feel connected.  So please be kind to those who are introverts, and recognize that this time is hard on them, too.

[wenchsenior]

I don't know about the OP's observation, buy my husband has observed that a lot of self-described introverts in his social/work circle (introversion has become weirdly 'trendy' lately) are very obviously shown to NOT be introverts within a few days of social distancing instructions going into effect.

Being an introvert doesn't mean you like to be alone all the time.  It means that you need time alone to recharge.  But once recharged (as we probably all are by now!), we really do need social interaction to feel connected.  So please be kind to those who are introverts, and recognize that this time is hard on them, too.

Yes I'm aware of what introversion is.  I'm a hard core introvert myself (not shy, not socially anxious, not afraid of people, like to socialize if I have the energy, easily tired by too much stimulation of certain types, etc.)

Just making an observation about those people adopting labels when they don't understand what it is.

ETA: As an introvert who regularly needs a couple of weeks of downtime to recharge, not ALL of us are recharged yet LOL.

[Sibley]

Absolutely. Stress, fear, worry, exhaustion, etc help bring the social masks down. So you're more likely to see their underlying nature. And yes, there's an argument for giving people some leeway because of the situation. But still - when people show you who they are, believe them.

[Laura33]

I agree that stress shows us who people are, but with an asterisk.  I think most of us are a little more on edge, thrown off by both the change in our daily routines and the huge giant worries swirling around us.  And that can tend to make us a little more irritable and short.  That's definitely part of us, but it's not all of us.

OTOH, very serious stress -- like, say, if we're not just worried about the virus but someone we love is sick with it, or we're not just worried about the stock market but wondering how to pay rent now that we've been laid off -- triggers our fight-or-flight response and literally shuts down the part of the brain that is responsible for rational thought and self-control.  So, yes, what that person does or says in that scenario can be a reflection of what they think or who they are, but they may not actually mean it.  Have you ever had some sort of really uncharitable or evil thought pop up into your head, and you're horrified that you even thought that and then tamp it down and figure out a civilized way to express yourself?  That's the kind of thing that people are saying and doing, because their inner ability to tamp it down is just flat-out gone.  I guess you could say that's the "real" person.  But all of us have that part, and we've learned to control it as part of living in civilization and getting along with other people.  So, personally, I try to avoid being quick to judge people under stress, because I just imagine what people would think of me if my least-charitable thoughts popped out uncontrollably.