Just don't want it - morale vs. earnings goals

[ChpBstrd]

Thanks to a lifetime of semi-frugal habits, DW and I are on track to FIRE in about 5 years when we will be in our early-to-mid 40s. I am rather desperate to find a way to accelerate this process. The obvious solution is to pursue any one of many paths to increase my earnings. I could:

-pick up another certification or two
-provide my boss a roadmap to expand my area into a department, with me as director
-apply for higher-paying positions elsewhere
-accomplish something awesome at work, such as writing a winning proposal or helping a business unit turn itself around
-cross-train in IT functions

So the way forward is clear. Yet, each day at work seems like I'm doing something foolish for being there instead of pursuing my own interests. I can't stand working any more, I can't wait to get out, I'm bored to death, and I have to leave my phone in the car or I'll read FIRE blogs and check stock prices all day at work.

I've always been a goal-oriented person and I've always diligently pursued goals that involve long periods of effort to achieve intermittent goals. Examples: flipping a house doing almost everything myself, earning a graduate degree, learning Linux so I could build a home theatre PC and watch movies. So it's not that I lack the ability to focus or that I'm inherently lazy. It's that I'm setting this goal to earn more, and finding myself unable to move toward doing it. I imagine myself at the next level of my profession, having accomplished lots of professional goals, and I just don't have a strong desire for it. I don't want to be that person.

Maybe it's a brain versus heart thing. Or maybe I want to accelerate FIRE because I'm burned out, but can't because I'm burned out. It is utterly illogical to want FIRE so badly and to be unable to take the simple steps that would get me there with an additional year or two of my life intact!

I honestly can't fault my employer. The conditions and culture are great, I earn average pay for my position, I report to a COO and have a high level of trust / autonomy, work zero overtime, and my organization is a nonprofit that does meaningful work that I agree with. My commute is 5-15 minutes, and when I ride my bike it's 20-25 minutes. I honestly have no excuse for my low morale, except perhaps that I've been doing the same things for a whole whopping 5 years and I might need a challenge. 

Has anyone else known exactly what they should do but hit a motivational wall? Any advice, besides the approach of earlyretirementextreme.com or taking a sabbatical?

The thing is, if I don't do something about my work morale, I can't count on the status quo continuing for another 5 years.

[August]

I think it's possible to be too focused on a long term goal.  Maybe the intensity of your desire for FIRE has become a problem in your day to day life.

Instead of spending your time thinking about what will happen in five years, maybe it would be better to focus on something closer at hand.

I'd suggest looking for a way to make your work more interesting, like your cross training idea.  Try to do it because it's challenging and would be a cool thing to learn, not just to accelerate your income levels. 

[chasesfish]

I'm guilty of being the person that you described at two points in my last seven years leading up to FIRE (Which is only 11 weeks away now!!)

You need mental stimulation and purpose at work.   The first time I was in this rut we had a new EVP come and take over our division and he was a great leader that gave everyone a purpose and support.  That re-engaged me and I ended up working harder, enjoying the work, and making a couple of moves/promotions for this individual.

He unfortunately moved on and my personal situation didn't allow me to follow.  I was so close to the finish line with an absurdly high salary (and needing the good health insurance / family care day benefits) that I've been grinding through a tough situation.


I would highly recommend looking around / googling at some of the LeanFI/Barista FI posts that are out there.  If you're within 5 years of FIRE, then you're investments should be doing the heavy lifting.  Consider changing jobs, taking on a new challenge, and/or doing something part time.   I go back and forth about do I or don't I regret my last five years of my career.  I turned down a lot of neat opportunities and the ability to have more freedom in exchange for five years of my life.  In hindsight, I would have been a millionaire either way and might be five years into an entrepreneurial venture. 

Financial independence is not a death march and you've already done the heavy lifting.  Its okay to do something else.   I think the best term was a couple in Houston who termed it a "fully funded lifestyle change".   They wrote this 3+ years ago:  http://www.slowlysippingcoffee.com/goodbye-fire-hello-fflc/

Now one of them had a better lifestyle university job and the other is a stay at home parent

[dmmms]

I think some of what you're describing may also be the "happiness curve." At least it resonated with me on my path! https://www.marketwatch.com/story/miserable-in-your-40s-dont-panic-its-perfectly-normal-2018-07-10

[Dicey]

No specific advice, just pointing out that if this was easy, everyone would be doing it. We may ge getting more mainstream attention, but we're still outliers. With the stock market bouncing like a red rubber ball, it's even harder to keep the goal in sight. The time is going to pass no matter what you do, and you will get there. Finding a way to invigorate yourself is key.

[FIRE 20/20]

It's not perfectly analogous, but my favorite LivingAFI posts might help:

https://livingafi.com/2015/01/20/midlife-fi-sis/

[ChpBstrd]

I think some of what you're describing may also be the "happiness curve." At least it resonated with me on my path! https://www.marketwatch.com/story/miserable-in-your-40s-dont-panic-its-perfectly-normal-2018-07-10

This was a good read. I suspect my values have already moved on, and yet the financial reality is I have 5 years to go pursuing the old mindset before I can actually live in the new.

[ChpBstrd]

It's not perfectly analogous, but my favorite LivingAFI posts might help:

https://livingafi.com/2015/01/20/midlife-fi-sis/

I read that a couple years ago and thought it was silly anyone could have such problems. I had already worked out most of his list of issues within a year of first thinking about FIRE.

However, upon re-reading it, I see how a project like FIRE involves many years of delayed gratification - more than a college degree or career change or DIY home remod - and this decade-plus timeframe makes a part of the brain feel like it has been conned. I don't need to give myself permission to FIRE, but I do need to stop ruminating while feeling stuck without a reward. Perhaps a pivot toward exercise goals is in order.

[Metalcat]

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[Dicey]

Damn @Malkynn, another staggeringly on the mark post. You are a treasure and we're lucky you choose to participate here. Thank you.

[Metalcat]

Damn @Malkynn, another staggeringly on the mark post. You are a treasure and we're lucky you choose to participate here. Thank you.

Thanks darlin'.

I left for awhile and deleted my entire post history due to the disturbing behaviour of a member of another forum, but after some time and reflection, I decided to come back.

Shit happens. Time to move on.

[AdaBeansonFire]

Damn @Malkynn, another staggeringly on the mark post. You are a treasure and we're lucky you choose to participate here. Thank you.

Thanks darlin'.

I left for awhile and deleted my entire post history due to the disturbing behaviour of a member of another forum, but after some time and reflection, I decided to come back.

Shit happens. Time to move on.

I just copied Malkynn's post to a word doc on my desktop. We are less than 5 years from Fire and I just semi-Fired (now contract)  from my job. I've been miserable for the last 5 years and have been putting off creative projects because I didn't want to take time away from work.   I've been bouncing between relief and fear since I pulled the trigger. This is what I needed to hear. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You gave volume to my inner voice that pushed me to change my situation. Here's to making your best life.

[ChpBstrd]

Thanks Malkynn.

That's probably good advice for 95% of FIRE burnout cases or cases of FIREOS (FIRE Obsession Syndrome). I know we're all special and unique but for whatever reason this particular shoe doesn't feel quite right, or maybe I'm missing a connection. I have intentionally taken a somewhat lackadaisical approach in an attempt to be sustainable. I'm not a workaholic - I do 40h weeks at a low-stress, stable job. I passed on a job offering a 20% raise because my interview panel joked sadly about the OT they work. I eat dinner with the family every night, vacation a couple times a year, and I cannot think of any way we are depriving ourselves. Our savings rate of 50% is not extreme - even the dog eats gourmet dog food. I can identify no options to increase morale by increasing consumption. That leaves decreasing work...

I've explored options to do exactly as you've described and cut back to part time. Tim Ferris' The 4 Hour Workweek appeals to me - just need to find an idea and I might give it a go. I'm also constantly looking into real estate but have been unable to find an attractive ROE in my area. I keep returning to Early Retirement Extreme, but the spouse does not want to live that frugally. Our current NW would yield about $25k sustainably, but our expenses are twice that. Outside of those directions, neither my career nor my spouse's offer any kind of PT option. Going PT doing something new would involve a massive hourly pay cut plus a loss of my employer's insurance subsidy. I'd honestly rather switch to 2-3y of workaholism and be done than drag things out another few years. And my current pace seems more desirable than a shorter period of workaholism. So it feels like I'm already optimized and now I'm just passing the time until my best life begins. The earlier article about middle-aged people making radical and regrettable changes comes to mind.

In terms of designing a best life, none of my designs can accomodate spending 50 hours a week commuting and working. By any objective measure, I've got it so good that the only way it could be better would be if I was a millionaire. So here I am waiting...