I'm in a similar situation as you. Self employed business owner, HCOL area (Orange County beach), but income is higher than yours. I also didn't prioritize FI several years ago, and that was a dangerous mistake. There's no telling when your business will no longer be viable, things change very fast in this economy. This is why it's important to prioritize hitting FI while you still have high earnings. Once you're within range of your FI target, you can begin to relax things more.
I would buckle down and try to hit your FI target as quickly as possible, then sit back and relax. Your future self will be very thankful.
For me, once I had started reading this blog and others, I realized I never wanted to work for a company again. To secure that desire, I had to really get my expenses down and hit my target asap. Of course, it was easier for me as my wife was already very frugal compared to me.
Also, from a philosophical standpoint, it was nice overcoming my consumerism addiction. That was a real crutch that kept me from happiness. This change in perspective allowed me to attain my goal quicker and be more content.
Now I"m FI but continue to run my business as it's enjoyable (and I work from my laptop while traveling, etc). But I no longer have any stress of "what if my revenues stop".