Author Topic: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!  (Read 5139 times)

IslandFiGirl

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I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« on: September 22, 2019, 03:38:19 PM »
After a lot of back and forth and many whiny posts on here, I think I'm finally at the point that I know I can't stay at my job any longer.  I'm definitely not at the number I wanted to be at when I took the big leap but I can't stomach the long hours and the constant drama anymore, not to mention the huge responsibility if something goes wrong.  I'm tired, I look and feel like total sh*t and I already know and have known for a long time that at the end of the day I'm just a number here.  Nobody cares if I have a good life except for me.  So, I'm trying to work up the courage to turn in my letter, which will totally turn my department on its head.  There are so few people working here that they may have to shut the department down.  That's too bad but I can't worry about it anymore.  Any advice for someone about to take a huge leap of faith?  I have to admit I'm scared that I'm making a mistake but I'm even more scared of not getting to live my life. 

julia

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2019, 09:00:02 PM »
After a lot of back and forth and many whiny posts on here, I think I'm finally at the point that I know I can't stay at my job any longer.  I'm definitely not at the number I wanted to be at when I took the big leap but I can't stomach the long hours and the constant drama anymore, not to mention the huge responsibility if something goes wrong.  I'm tired, I look and feel like total sh*t and I already know and have known for a long time that at the end of the day I'm just a number here.  Nobody cares if I have a good life except for me.  So, I'm trying to work up the courage to turn in my letter, which will totally turn my department on its head.  There are so few people working here that they may have to shut the department down.  That's too bad but I can't worry about it anymore.  Any advice for someone about to take a huge leap of faith?  I have to admit I'm scared that I'm making a mistake but I'm even more scared of not getting to live my life.

My partner just applied for a better job that is within cycling distance; If he gets it, he'll be doing the same thing as you.

Zamboni

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2019, 12:35:05 AM »
It sounds like work stress is making you sick . . . so call in sick while you look for another job?

soccerluvof4

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2019, 03:24:26 AM »
My only suggestion would be if they are in that bad of shape keep an open mind that perhaps they will make you and offer that will work out for both of you. I havent caught your other posts you mentioned so basing it simply on what I know has happened for others that have been so frustrated. In any case wish you the best! Nothing worse than just hating going to work everyday.

former player

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2019, 04:32:42 AM »
How many steps have you gone through to make things bearable before getting to this stage?  Have you done anything to change things at work - talking to colleagues, talking to management?  Are there any HR procedures available to you, to talk about workloads and so on?  Do you have any rights to take time off: vacation time, time without pay, sick leave, sabbatical?  What about anything that can help yourself, such as counselling/therapy?

I'm all in favour of your leaving a job which is unbearable, but once you've left it's probably worth being able to say to yourself "I did everything I could to make that job work for me but there was nothing else to do but leave" - that way you are not going to have any regrets, whatever the outcome.

Best of luck.

Fish Sweet

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2019, 10:38:15 AM »
I feel you, IslandFIGirl.  I'm planning on doing something pretty similar in the next few months, and in my head the panicked mutter of "what are you doing? what are you doing??" is only matched by the running refrain of "get out get out get out."  In my case, there's nothing even particularly awful about my job or the people in it, I'm just-- done and ready to get the hell out.  As a usually risk-adverse person also taking a huge leap of faith and wondering if I'm about to make a terrible mistake, I FEEL YOU.

At this point, when you're committed to leaving, the next best thing to do is start prepping for where you'll land next.  Make a plan, set a timeline, and stick to it.
 Brainstorm on what actions you can take to make your post-job landing easier, and to turn the ship of your life in the direction you want.  Whether it's cranking up the savings rate to maximum and turning the spending rate all the way down, blowing the dust off old professional relationships and polishing up the networking engine, researching other companies and roles you'd like to work in, think about what's going to make YOUR life better six months, a year from now, and start working toward that goal.

dogboyslim

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2019, 10:58:12 AM »
So, I'm trying to work up the courage to turn in my letter, which will totally turn my department on its head.  There are so few people working here that they may have to shut the department down.

First, your department will be fine without you.  I've been a leader that had to deal with the loss of a key employee.  It sucked, we got over it and moved on.  You don't think they care about you anyway, so just be polite, turn in your resignation letter that contains ONLY the details of your last day, and if you want, a thanks for the opportunity etc.

My thoughts on this are that either the company already wants to shut down your department but they can make money on it at an understaffed level so long as the current employees stay and will shut it down as soon as the staff leave, or they are content so long as minimum progress is made with the existing staff, and they may or not replace you depending on which is a better result for them in both the short & long term. 

At any rate, you care about you, let the other folks in your department care about themselves, and let the management worry about the company.

Congrats on the decision BTW!

jim555

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2019, 11:06:30 AM »
My suggestion, don't give more than two weeks notice.  Any more and you open yourself up to corporate games and abuse.

Zamboni

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2019, 08:28:07 PM »
This is excellent advice by Jim. I've never seen a longer notice work out especially well for the employee . . . and in a couple of instances, I've seen it be really bad for the person leaving.

IslandFiGirl

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #9 on: September 24, 2019, 04:31:12 AM »
After a lot of back and forth and many whiny posts on here, I think I'm finally at the point that I know I can't stay at my job any longer.  I'm definitely not at the number I wanted to be at when I took the big leap but I can't stomach the long hours and the constant drama anymore, not to mention the huge responsibility if something goes wrong.  I'm tired, I look and feel like total sh*t and I already know and have known for a long time that at the end of the day I'm just a number here.  Nobody cares if I have a good life except for me.  So, I'm trying to work up the courage to turn in my letter, which will totally turn my department on its head.  There are so few people working here that they may have to shut the department down.  That's too bad but I can't worry about it anymore.  Any advice for someone about to take a huge leap of faith?  I have to admit I'm scared that I'm making a mistake but I'm even more scared of not getting to live my life.

My partner just applied for a better job that is within cycling distance; If he gets it, he'll be doing the same thing as you.

I was totally thinking about doing the same thing...finding a job close enough to home that I could hop on my bike and dash off to work.  The idea is so appealing to me! 

IslandFiGirl

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #10 on: September 24, 2019, 04:32:36 AM »
It sounds like work stress is making you sick . . . so call in sick while you look for another job?

Great advice!  I'm going in to the doctor this week to see if I can get some kind of note to give to my boss to allow me time away from work. 

IslandFiGirl

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #11 on: September 24, 2019, 04:34:41 AM »
My only suggestion would be if they are in that bad of shape keep an open mind that perhaps they will make you and offer that will work out for both of you. I havent caught your other posts you mentioned so basing it simply on what I know has happened for others that have been so frustrated. In any case wish you the best! Nothing worse than just hating going to work everyday.

Thanks...I work for the government, there's rarely any offers to make things easier for us.  I'm going to try to make things better before I just leave, but don't hold out much hope that things will change enough for me to not feel intense anxiety everyday.

IslandFiGirl

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #12 on: September 24, 2019, 04:39:48 AM »
How many steps have you gone through to make things bearable before getting to this stage?  Have you done anything to change things at work - talking to colleagues, talking to management?  Are there any HR procedures available to you, to talk about workloads and so on?  Do you have any rights to take time off: vacation time, time without pay, sick leave, sabbatical?  What about anything that can help yourself, such as counselling/therapy?

I'm all in favour of your leaving a job which is unbearable, but once you've left it's probably worth being able to say to yourself "I did everything I could to make that job work for me but there was nothing else to do but leave" - that way you are not going to have any regrets, whatever the outcome.

Best of luck.

Thanks for the suggestions.  This week I'm checking in with my doc about getting time off due to intense stress and anxiety and I'm going to go through my EAP at work to see a counselor and try to see if I can't sort some of this out in my mind before I throw away a 15 year career.  The biggest problem is we can't seem to find qualified people to do our job, which leaves the rest of us who ARE qualified to work lots of overtime in a high stress job.  I feel like I'm whining a lot about a job I have mostly loved and I hate that.  I'm a sh*t or get off the pot kind of girl and am really trying to find a way to feel ok about leaving when I know it's probably the best thing for me.  No regrets is important.  I don't want to feel just as miserable without a job this time next year!  :)

IslandFiGirl

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #13 on: September 24, 2019, 04:43:58 AM »
I feel you, IslandFIGirl.  I'm planning on doing something pretty similar in the next few months, and in my head the panicked mutter of "what are you doing? what are you doing??" is only matched by the running refrain of "get out get out get out."  In my case, there's nothing even particularly awful about my job or the people in it, I'm just-- done and ready to get the hell out.  As a usually risk-adverse person also taking a huge leap of faith and wondering if I'm about to make a terrible mistake, I FEEL YOU.

At this point, when you're committed to leaving, the next best thing to do is start prepping for where you'll land next.  Make a plan, set a timeline, and stick to it.
 Brainstorm on what actions you can take to make your post-job landing easier, and to turn the ship of your life in the direction you want.  Whether it's cranking up the savings rate to maximum and turning the spending rate all the way down, blowing the dust off old professional relationships and polishing up the networking engine, researching other companies and roles you'd like to work in, think about what's going to make YOUR life better six months, a year from now, and start working toward that goal.

Oh my gosh, we are twins, LOL.  Almost daily I think the same thing...why would I leave such a well paying job, followed by RUNNNNNNNNN!!!  This place is killing me!  That's great advice to start planning now for the future.  I've worked through what my budget might look like after resigning and checked out the healthcare.gov site, those are the 2 biggest things I've worried about.  Well, not so much worried, but wanted to have figured out.  What else have you done to prepare for leaving your job?  I'm trying to time it right so I can receive the subsidies from the ACA, so I'm thinking quitting right at the end of this year would be ideal.  Good luck to you too, it is a hard decision to make for sure.  Thank goodness I found this site!  So many helpful people and great ideas.

IslandFiGirl

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #14 on: September 24, 2019, 04:48:27 AM »
So, I'm trying to work up the courage to turn in my letter, which will totally turn my department on its head.  There are so few people working here that they may have to shut the department down.

First, your department will be fine without you.  I've been a leader that had to deal with the loss of a key employee.  It sucked, we got over it and moved on.  You don't think they care about you anyway, so just be polite, turn in your resignation letter that contains ONLY the details of your last day, and if you want, a thanks for the opportunity etc.

My thoughts on this are that either the company already wants to shut down your department but they can make money on it at an understaffed level so long as the current employees stay and will shut it down as soon as the staff leave, or they are content so long as minimum progress is made with the existing staff, and they may or not replace you depending on which is a better result for them in both the short & long term. 

At any rate, you care about you, let the other folks in your department care about themselves, and let the management worry about the company.

Congrats on the decision BTW!

Thanks!  I'm looking forward to actually putting in the notice and knowing that my next step will be freedom from the grind.  And you are totally right, anyone can be replaced, I've seen it time and time again.  Unfortunately I don't work in a corporate job, it's a job in public safety, so I feel a lot of guilt over leaving a job where my co-workers will suffer more with less people and guilt over sort of "turning my back" on the community I serve. 

IslandFiGirl

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #15 on: September 24, 2019, 04:50:52 AM »
My suggestion, don't give more than two weeks notice.  Any more and you open yourself up to corporate games and abuse.

I've seen this advice a lot before.  I work in public safety and while I would like to give a long notice to "help them out" I think I will for once, actually take some advice and give the minimum.  I can see myself getting used and abused during that period which will probably result in me using my FU money and leaving much sooner than planned!  Thanks!

Fish Sweet

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #16 on: September 24, 2019, 11:30:39 AM »
I feel you, IslandFIGirl.  I'm planning on doing something pretty similar in the next few months, and in my head the panicked mutter of "what are you doing? what are you doing??" is only matched by the running refrain of "get out get out get out."  In my case, there's nothing even particularly awful about my job or the people in it, I'm just-- done and ready to get the hell out.  As a usually risk-adverse person also taking a huge leap of faith and wondering if I'm about to make a terrible mistake, I FEEL YOU.

At this point, when you're committed to leaving, the next best thing to do is start prepping for where you'll land next.  Make a plan, set a timeline, and stick to it.
 Brainstorm on what actions you can take to make your post-job landing easier, and to turn the ship of your life in the direction you want.  Whether it's cranking up the savings rate to maximum and turning the spending rate all the way down, blowing the dust off old professional relationships and polishing up the networking engine, researching other companies and roles you'd like to work in, think about what's going to make YOUR life better six months, a year from now, and start working toward that goal.

Oh my gosh, we are twins, LOL.  Almost daily I think the same thing...why would I leave such a well paying job, followed by RUNNNNNNNNN!!!  This place is killing me!  That's great advice to start planning now for the future.  I've worked through what my budget might look like after resigning and checked out the healthcare.gov site, those are the 2 biggest things I've worried about.  Well, not so much worried, but wanted to have figured out.  What else have you done to prepare for leaving your job?  I'm trying to time it right so I can receive the subsidies from the ACA, so I'm thinking quitting right at the end of this year would be ideal.  Good luck to you too, it is a hard decision to make for sure.  Thank goodness I found this site!  So many helpful people and great ideas.
JOB ESCAPEE TWIN HI FIVE! lol

For my part, I'm trying to work in a career change with my departure, so that's another variable that I'm keeping track of (additional educational costs, entering another job market on the junior level).  On the preparations side, I've slashed my spending to the bone and am currently trying to live like I have no income coming in-- making sure that my projected spend is sustainable.  It goes hand in hand with
buffing up a cash savings account that will hopefully last me 6+ months, working on building up a hobby side business that will hopefully bring in a few grand a year, and pouring every extra cent I can into my 401k to max it out before I quit (also probably at the end of the year!)  I'm at.... god, maybe a quarter of my ideal stash size, but I want to see how long I can sustain myself at this level.  Like you, I'm also figuring out health care, researching dropping to a much cheaper car insurance once I don't have a 20 mile commute there and back, etc.

And also... in a move that is both extremely anti-Mustachian and Mustachian at the same time, I'm planning on taking a few months off as a sabbatical to decompress and live my life and figure out my next steps.  Work has been so stressful and all consuming lately that I feel like I've barely had time to live my life-- so I'm taking back a little of that time for now, when I'm not dependent on PTO and other peoples' schedules.  I'm thinking about art projects and places to volunteer at, new dishes to cook and long walks. I'm planning a pretty spendy international trip with friends, and it gives me something to look forward to while going through the daily slog.  Basically, I'm planning on something to run toward (a better life! happier self!) rather than just making my escape.

partgypsy

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #17 on: September 24, 2019, 12:39:10 PM »
Honestly if work is affecting your stress levels and health to that degree, you have a government job! Take sick leave to recuperate or go to speciality care to improve your health. Better to do while on job than when out of a job.

KBCB

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #18 on: September 24, 2019, 06:03:39 PM »
Good luck on the next step away from the job that is obviously very bad for you. We all need money to live sure but not at the expense of your life and enjoying life. Be the courageous person you need to be to get away as long as you have the means and backup not to put yourself in a worse situation if you leave without backup.

DustyD

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #19 on: September 24, 2019, 06:23:59 PM »
I'm right there with you...been struggling in a job that started out great but turned toxic about ten months ago.  I kept hoping things would get better, but it's obviously now not in the cards. It's been a battle just to get to this point, and I'm only hanging on until some equity vests next week - then I'm out! It's all I can do to wait the extra week, each extra day is excruciating. I'm prepared to accept a very long unemployment period. Luckily my wife works, and we have some passive income, so finances shouldn't be an issue. The scary part is just the uncertainty of what's next.

Mrs. Healthywealth

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #20 on: September 26, 2019, 10:10:44 PM »
Honestly if work is affecting your stress levels and health to that degree, you have a government job! Take sick leave to recuperate or go to speciality care to improve your health. Better to do while on job than when out of a job.

100% agree—you’re away from work and they pay for your care. For stress leave, do you have  100%, 60%, and 30% sick leave? If so, it’s a great set up and take forever to run out of sick PTO.

if you have a  union, you can speak to your rep about a job transfer due to stress and they can work with leave management or HR to see if they can accommodate you. Also wondering if you can and/or want to transfer to another program within the govt?

Tyson

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #21 on: September 27, 2019, 12:29:30 PM »
No matter where you work, they will pile work on you until you say 'no more'.  Stop covering for other people, that's what is killing you.  If things fall apart, good.  That shows the higher ups that the situation is serious and they'll (grudgingly) make changes.

citrine

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #22 on: September 29, 2019, 12:22:04 PM »
Yay! Do it....if nothing else, you will find an even better situation :)
I left my corporate job over 11 years ago to become a Massage Therapist, have been in private practice for 10 years now...even did a cross country move to rural New Mexico and built another clientele from scratch.  You can do this, once you clear the way to honor what you want to do in life, the right people, places, and situations will come to you.  Good luck!!!

frugalnacho

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #23 on: October 01, 2019, 10:43:44 AM »
My suggestion, don't give more than two weeks notice.  Any more and you open yourself up to corporate games and abuse.

I've seen this advice a lot before.  I work in public safety and while I would like to give a long notice to "help them out" I think I will for once, actually take some advice and give the minimum.  I can see myself getting used and abused during that period which will probably result in me using my FU money and leaving much sooner than planned!  Thanks!

Technically zero is the minimum.  You could walk out right now and not work another second, and the flip side is that they could walk up to you and fire you right now and escort you out of the building.  Giving them 2 weeks is already "helping them out" and is plenty reasonable.  If they decide to use/abuse you during that reasonable 2 week period you still have the option of just walking out, so don't let them stress you out once you've made the decision to leave. 

RWTL

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Re: I'm doing it-Giving Notice, Yikes!
« Reply #24 on: October 01, 2019, 04:10:27 PM »
My suggestion, don't give more than two weeks notice.  Any more and you open yourself up to corporate games and abuse.

I've seen this advice a lot before.  I work in public safety and while I would like to give a long notice to "help them out" I think I will for once, actually take some advice and give the minimum.  I can see myself getting used and abused during that period which will probably result in me using my FU money and leaving much sooner than planned!  Thanks!

Technically zero is the minimum.  You could walk out right now and not work another second, and the flip side is that they could walk up to you and fire you right now and escort you out of the building.  Giving them 2 weeks is already "helping them out" and is plenty reasonable.  If they decide to use/abuse you during that reasonable 2 week period you still have the option of just walking out, so don't let them stress you out once you've made the decision to leave.

True...You should always look at the policy for notice before you make a final decision.  Some places, for example, won't pay out any PTO with less than 2 weeks notice.