Author Topic: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!  (Read 3429 times)

KBurns

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Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« on: April 14, 2018, 07:25:32 AM »
A little back story. When I bought my home my husband and I were dating. The home was a small 700 sq foot and he was in a small apartment. We both ended up buying the same TV years back on black Friday. Its a 45" Westinghouse flat screen regular TV. Both TVs are still in working condition. One is the main TV in our home (the only tv) and his TV is at his parents house in storage. We put an addition on my (now our) home that created a large family room.

This was very close to our conversation last night..

Husband: We need a large TV for the family room
Me: Why?
Husband: Because the TV is now too small for the room.
Me: When I grew up before they made HUGE TVs like today our TV was huge. There is nothing wrong with the size of our TV. A 45" TV is huge.
Husband: I found one at Best Buy for $900 interest free for a year!
Me: NINE HUNDRED DOLLARS?!?!?! ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Husband: I can pay "so and so" dollars a week to pay it off.
Me: .......... *shakes head*..........
Me: If you buy this TV we will divorce (not really)

This conversation has now happened almost weekly since my sister and her husband got a huge 60" TV.

How can I convince him we don't need a new TV?

jeroly

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2018, 07:28:57 AM »
How about a compromise?
One can now buy a 65" 4k TV for under $450.
That's half of the $900 he proposed spending...and he gets a larger screen too!

KBurns

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2018, 07:32:04 AM »
How about a compromise?
One can now buy a 65" 4k TV for under $450.
That's half of the $900 he proposed spending...and he gets a larger screen too!

Where is this TV you speak of?
However, isn't it still crazy to just ignore two perfectly good TV's we already have?

Linda_Norway

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2018, 07:43:09 AM »
Can you sell the two smaller TVs and buy a bigger one second hand?

JJsfr

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2018, 07:49:52 AM »
I understand the"appropriate size for wall" to get 1080p, but it doesn't mean it's worth $900.

Ask him to pay"so and so" dollars into a jar everytime he wishes the TV in there were bigger. After half is saved or something pitch something else, or a cheaper to, or if he's still committed go forth.

Or if he really likes to and doesn't splurge anywhere else, count your blessings?

JJsfr

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2018, 07:50:35 AM »
Can you sell the two smaller TVs and buy a bigger one second hand?

Oh yeah, that, and buy used

alsoknownasDean

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2018, 07:51:03 AM »
I remember when a 68cm TV was considered large. I've got a 32" TV in my apartment and I'm quite happy with it.

I'd be more 'WTF' at the whole 'paying off a TV' thing. Maybe he should save the cash up first, and by then maybe the 'I want a new TV' urges will have passed. If he's saved the cash over the next while and still desperately wants a larger TV, then maybe get one. :)

Although, I've wanted a new laptop for the last three or four years and still haven't gone ahead and done so. It's still kicking.

Rosy

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2018, 07:55:49 AM »
OP - you're seeing this only from your perspective:)

TV's are one of those things that are non-negotiable in our house. That means he "needs" a TV so he can watch NFL (which is the reason we still have cable) and since all his friends have at least 60" TV's he wants a big one too:)

This from a man who is without a doubt a born Mustachian - needs very little to make him happy - so I just laugh and shake my head at the one chink in his frugal armor.
As a matter of fact when his very old 32 in TV died, years ago - he managed to go out and buy a new one within a day, because well, football season started that weekend:)
I was in shock:) truly. This from a perpetual procrastinator who weighs each large purchase forever.

Me on the other hand, I have a woman cave that is like 10x9 or so and own a 50" inch. I know:)

We own our electronics for a long time and buy quality - so there you go. As far as having his old TV in storage - may I suggest you sell it, before it is completely outdated and worthless? and use the profits for the purchase of a new TV.

If overall your finances are in order and he is on board with all the mustachian moves otherwise - let him have the big TV:), smart wives know when to cave:)

KBurns

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2018, 08:17:59 AM »
I think you have a point that I am looking at this from my prospective. If he watched sports or we watched movies as a family I would be more open to getting a new large TV. Usually we just watch an episode of some TV show at the end of the day while both of us are multitasking (reading for me / phone games for him). I wouldn't describe us at TV people per say (although in winter we do watch a bit more TV than I would like).
However, I like the idea of selling our two and buying a one. I will discuss this with him and see what he thinks.

wageslave23

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #9 on: April 14, 2018, 08:52:00 AM »
walmart.com, sceptre 65" $450.  I have the 50" version and love it.  Going strong for 5 yrs+.  TVs are actually great ways to spend money when you think about the cost per yr or cost per viewing hr.  If you buy a $500 tv and it lasts for 10 yrs, you are spending $50 a year for a tv that you probably spend 500 hrs a yr watching. Or $.10/hr.  Also you cant compare old tube tv sizes because they shoot tv shows and sports at a wider angle now assuming that you have a bigger tv.  Especially, if you are going to spend $1000 a year on cable, you might as well pay an extra 5% and make it a lot more enjoyable.  **I am very mustachian but netflix and a tv are exceptions, the $$ to pleasure ratio for a modest tv works for me.

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #10 on: April 14, 2018, 09:04:16 AM »
Oh FFS, choose your battles! Stop harassing him about the tv. He works, just like you, get things every now and then that make you happy. Big TVs make men happy. Get something that makes you happy. Itís not worth fighting about.

ikonomore

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #11 on: April 14, 2018, 09:20:31 AM »
I agree with the above poster.

How much did the addition cost?  Furniture for it?

Westinghouse is literally the worst flat screen out there.

Let him get the TV.

the_fixer

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #12 on: April 14, 2018, 09:39:39 AM »
If you do not have the cash to pay for it I would not do it. If you are not 100% debt free minus the mortgage I would not do it.

If you are debit free how about selling the other two TV's having a garage sale or have him pick up extra hours at work to pay for it or come up with a side hustle to pay for it.

It is far too easy to buy something on the 0% for x amount of time and not realize the value of the money spent.  If you have to save up or put in extra effort you realize more of the real cost.



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Kyle B

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #13 on: April 14, 2018, 09:55:31 AM »
It's a weekly fight?  Calculate the expected negative future value of your husband resenting you every week, forever. Add the effect of your continually repeating your hilarious "divorce" joke. Then get the stupid tv. 

Besides, it will be vastly better (not just bigger) than your old TVs. 4k resolution & HDR are big advances.

Further, TVs are insanely good values. If any non-mustachian behavior makes sense, it's replacing a tv.



And you probably spent a fortune building that big new room.  And you probably furnished it and carpeted it.  And you know what? You didn't need that room either.

So finish the room correctly.

Bonus points if you tell him to get a bigger one than your sister's. Triple bonus points if you tell him he was right and that you LOVE the new TV.
« Last Edit: April 14, 2018, 10:15:38 AM by Kyle B »

bacchi

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #14 on: April 14, 2018, 09:58:23 AM »
It is far too easy to buy something on the 0% for x amount of time and not realize the value of the money spent.  If you have to save up or put in extra effort you realize more of the real cost.

Yeah, do not start down the "0% down" path. It'll creep into other areas of your life.

Use a jar, as mentioned above, or find a used one.

Teachstache

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #15 on: April 14, 2018, 10:03:09 AM »
We have a 65 inch Samsung that we bought as a floor model with a new sound system (also a floor model) 5 years ago. This was when 4k was prohibitively expensive but we wanted to trade in our 7 year old 40 inch TV for something bigger & wall mounted.

Now, 80-85 inch 4k TVs are coming down in price to the $1300 range. Spouse is salivating over a bigger TV with better resolution. Once we can find a 85 inch 4k for $1,300 (ideally in the next year), we have decided to pull the trigger. TV is one of spouse's non negotiables in terms of equipment & not one I'm willing to argue about.

KBurns

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #16 on: April 14, 2018, 10:22:08 AM »
Wasn't expecting to be completely in the wrong by most people commenting. I would like to point out that the new room is not fully furnished/finished. We still need furniture, buy and install the gas fire place, and build the cabinets and hearth for the fireplace. a TV is very low on my priority list but it seems I might need to bend and let him buy the TV.

LurkingMustache

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #17 on: April 14, 2018, 10:36:57 AM »
Wasn't expecting to be completely in the wrong by most people commenting. I would like to point out that the new room is not fully furnished/finished. We still need furniture, buy and install the gas fire place, and build the cabinets and hearth for the fireplace. a TV is very low on my priority list but it seems I might need to bend and let him buy the TV.

Lol.  Low on your priority list but high on his - is he freaking out at "$X amount of dollars?!?!?!" for cabinets, a fire place, furniture and a hearth and teasing about divorce?  I wonder how many of these are "wants" vs. "needs" for him.  Jeez.  Even re-reading the original post and the comment to "my house (now ours)" just strikes me as ridiculous.  Seems incredibly controlling frankly and I just would never tease about a divorce for something SO small (I mean really.. $900...).  If it is "our" house what is the need to even say "mine".  I'd say maybe let him have one thing in your house that he really wants.

Edit: And really - "put money in a jar", is incredibly condescending.  Very odd parent/child dynamic happening here - if you have to work so hard at making one purchase.
« Last Edit: April 14, 2018, 10:46:45 AM by LurkingMustache »

DreamFIRE

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #18 on: April 14, 2018, 10:38:44 AM »
This thread made me look up how long ago I bought my 46" Sony 1080p HDTV.  It's been over 9 years.  It sits about 9' away, and it feels just right to me at that distance.  When watching quality source content, the picture quality still looks amazing.  I have no desire to upgrade.

I watch NFL, but my antenna provides me access to watch one or more of 4 games in a typical week during the season plus all the playoffs.  Cable/satellite/paid streaming would allow more games through the season, but I don't think it's worth it.  I would rather cut back than add more, even if it means I can't watch my favorite team play when they're scheduled for Monday night.

I often think I would be better off if I just stopped watching TV completely, but that would be difficult to go cold turkey, so the main thing I have been trying to do in recent years is avoid watching any new TV series, not watching sports other than NFL, and taking advantage of time-shifting with my HTPC so that I can jump forward through commercials (and other downtime during NFL games.)
« Last Edit: April 14, 2018, 10:41:19 AM by DreamFIRE »

EricL

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #19 on: April 14, 2018, 10:54:43 AM »
Buy a $5,000 living room set that crowds seating closer to the existing TV so it looks bigger.

Maenad

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #20 on: April 14, 2018, 10:58:13 AM »
It's kind of a "grand scheme of things" situation. How are your finances in general - do you have high-interest-rate debt you should be paying off? The addition-in-progress - are you in alignment with how much it's costing, or is there a source of strife there? How frugal is your husband otherwise? How frugal are you?

There's a lot of difference between "yet another expenditure spouse wants that we can't afford" and "spouse is seriously frugal and this is the only thing they've wanted to spend money on in the last 5 years". We all have expenditures that our spouses wouldn't have if they weren't with us, so there's a certain price of admission you're dealing with.

Is the $450-$900 a major lever on your budget? How balanced are the two of you with your "I want it" spending? If you can take a step back and look at how a purchase of this size impacts your finances in general, it may help remove some of the judgment that happens when Spouse A wants something that Spouse B isn't passionate about.

JJsfr

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #21 on: April 14, 2018, 11:59:03 AM »
Edit: And really - "put money in a jar", is incredibly condescending.  Very odd parent/child dynamic happening here - if you have to work so hard at making one purchase.

I'm sorry if I upset you. The adult version is"transfer to a savings account" instead. OP has given new details about an unfinished addition which has shed new light on the situation.

 My suggestion was to reinforce the save before you buy mentality. If OPs hubby sees $900 as free money because it's at 0%, that's clearly wrong. This applies to furniture, tv, whatever they have going on.

My opinion for this whole thing was to agree on a budget before starting the build, but that water is under the bridge.

RedmondStash

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #22 on: April 14, 2018, 12:11:07 PM »
OP, I don't think you're wrong. I also don't think your husband is necessarily wrong in what he wants. Different people find happiness in different things.

Perhaps a compromise can be had, like the previous suggestion of selling your existing TVs to buy a larger used TV. Definitely I would not suggest buying it on credit, regardless of interest rate. Debt is debt, and debt habits are hard to shake.

I think the idea behind putting money in a jar is just making sure you & he have the cash in hand to buy the TV outright, and if you don't, you wait until you do. I don't know enough about you, your husband, your finances, or your mutual frugality to know whether the TV thing is a one-off or a habit for your husband.

You could look at this as an opportunity: You give in on this, but he owes you one big favor to be named later. It could be a big expense, or it could be you getting to say no to a big expense he wants, no questions asked. It could be him doing all the dishes, laundry, child care, and/or vacuuming for a year. Whatever works for you. He gets something, you get something. Give and take. This has the added bonus of increasing the overall price he pays for a flashy thing, which might make him consider carefully next time. :)

My spouse is spendier than I am, but that doesn't bother me; we're just different people. But we agree on the big financial philosophies, and we are moving steadily toward our goals. To me, that's more important than an individual expensive purchase.

KBurns

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #23 on: April 14, 2018, 01:46:41 PM »
I find this very eye opening. I feel like I need to point out some of the the critique of my original post and why I wrote them.

My home to our home*
The comment on the home being mine and then ours I felt was relevant to the fact that we bought the same TV for small dwellings (I thought we got them the same year but hubby says I got my TV one year before). At the time the 45 inch TV was huge for both my house and his apartment. When it became our house and started a family he has a point that the room being bigger could fit a larger TV.

Divorce*
We have a very good relationship even after I started MMMing and have been trying to change my spendy ways. It was a joke not a full weekly comment.

I do feel like I need to defend myself when it comes to me looking like I hold a leash on my husband. I do not, we talk about large purchases but usually neither of us turn down (or even debate) the other for any reason just last/this year hubby made a new computer for himself. Fitted the new room with surround sound. He also wants a new computer chair which he can buy anytime. I bought a fine jewelry necklace i fell in love with. The only two purchases we are in debate over is a new car for him (he wants an SUV and I would rather have a car) and this TV. 

I am not offended at any comments it just sheds light on how more back story and full explanation could have helped. I need to keep that in mind when I comment again.
« Last Edit: April 14, 2018, 01:56:17 PM by KBurns »

asauer

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #24 on: April 14, 2018, 02:35:50 PM »
A little back story. When I bought my home my husband and I were dating. The home was a small 700 sq foot and he was in a small apartment. We both ended up buying the same TV years back on black Friday. Its a 45" Westinghouse flat screen regular TV. Both TVs are still in working condition. One is the main TV in our home (the only tv) and his TV is at his parents house in storage. We put an addition on my (now our) home that created a large family room.

This was very close to our conversation last night..

Husband: We need a large TV for the family room
Me: Why?
Husband: Because the TV is now too small for the room.
Me: When I grew up before they made HUGE TVs like today our TV was huge. There is nothing wrong with the size of our TV. A 45" TV is huge.
Husband: I found one at Best Buy for $900 interest free for a year!
Me: NINE HUNDRED DOLLARS?!?!?! ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Husband: I can pay "so and so" dollars a week to pay it off.
Me: .......... *shakes head*..........
Me: If you buy this TV we will divorce (not really)

This conversation has now happened almost weekly since my sister and her husband got a huge 60" TV.

How can I convince him we don't need a new TV?

Tell him to get a side gig and use that $ to buy the TV.  For my husband and I, if there is something expensive that the other wants and we donít agree, that person can still buy it if they get a separate side gig and buy it.  It forces that person to think about how bad the actually want it and it doesnít come from the regular pool of $ that would go towards investments so no grudges.

kei te pai

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #25 on: April 14, 2018, 03:02:07 PM »
I think the Russian hackers have taken over the forum!  I cant believe most of the responses so far. Its not about the money, its not about the marriage, its about sitting on your backside staring at moving pictures for hours. Do something useful with your body or your brain instead. Hopefully your example may start to wean your husband off his electronic toys.

Khaetra

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #26 on: April 14, 2018, 03:14:23 PM »
I agree with those who say sell the other two and buy a newer one.  The newer ones don't give off as much heat and are more energy efficient, plus the PQ is amazing, especially for sports.

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #27 on: April 14, 2018, 03:22:34 PM »
I think the Russian hackers have taken over the forum!  I cant believe most of the responses so far. Its not about the money, its not about the marriage, its about sitting on your backside staring at moving pictures for hours. Do something useful with your body or your brain instead. Hopefully your example may start to wean your husband off his electronic toys.

I find this annoying. Yes, we get it, the idiot box.  Ughh.  You know what? Some of us need the idiot box. Some of us need to take a break from using our brains and/or using our bodies and just chill out and get immersed in another world. Why? Because itís freaking amazing that we can transmit electronically and enjoy theater, sports, news and entertainment in the comfort of our safe spaces! It does make people lesser or actual idiots. Stop judging. If he was spending his life in front of the tv, that would be an issue. If itís to spend time watching with the family or a little alone time, have at it!

sherr

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #28 on: April 14, 2018, 03:29:34 PM »
I also find most of the responses in this thread odd. Neither TV in general nor buying a bigger TV when you already have a functioning one are particularly "Mustachian". However spending money intentionally where it actually will make you happy is Mustachian. I also like to relax by watching Netflix or playing a video game, so I understand where your husband is coming from completely. Don't finance it, make it an intentional decision and not an impulse buy, and make sure you actually are going to get your money's amount of happiness out of it.

tipster350

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #29 on: April 14, 2018, 05:12:32 PM »
This has been a fun thread. We have everything from "you're a horrible control freak" to "tell him to " (equivalent of) save up his allowance in a piggy bank" to Judgy McSmuggerson "how can anyone waste their time watching tv".

My take: He wants the tv. A lot. He's been saying he wants it for a while, so it's not an impulse thing. Sometimes we say "happy wife, happy life." Same goes for "happy hubs, lotsa lubs." lol Is it a need? No. But sometimes it's best to pick battles and allow that the tv isn't important to you but it is to him. As long as there is no overall pattern of overspending on toys, this is one I'd let him have.

I don't think selling the tv will be met with much success. Few want the older tvs.

jeroly

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #30 on: April 15, 2018, 01:22:44 AM »
How about a compromise?
One can now buy a 65" 4k TV for under $450.
That's half of the $900 he proposed spending...and he gets a larger screen too!

Where is this TV you speak of?
However, isn't it still crazy to just ignore two perfectly good TV's we already have?

As mentioned in another post, Walmart sells one...
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Sceptre-65-Class-4K-2160P-LED-TV-U650CV-U/48874705


Mezzie

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #31 on: April 15, 2018, 03:42:46 AM »
What is it about husbands and big TVs?

We have a pretty big one right now (provided by my brother, not purchased). The old one is in my classroom, so it all worked out. He'd like an even bigger one when my brother takes his TV back. I may not understand it, but I see no reason to stop it so long as we have the money in our house fund. He's not very materialistic, and that has saved us well over the cost of a TV over the years.

BobTheBuilder

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #32 on: April 15, 2018, 04:45:47 AM »
I'm sorry, is this MoneyMustache or lifehacker.com? :-D
I mean seriously, adults can do with their own money what they want at least if they are net-worth-positive, but whatever you think:

Having two 45" TVs and buying a third for 900$ is not mustachian. You all know it. It is not about FIRE.

If you don't want condescending money-behaviour, maybe go for "fun/stupid" money per person.
But just think about how luxurios modern screens are. We have a 42" 1080p for 5 Years now, and do not plan on upgrading as long as it's working fine.
A younger friend of us visiting said "I want to marry the screen, the picture is so crisp and perfect" - Which it is on it own, but frankly not compared to a 4K-MEGADEATH-2000-60something-inch, but hey, you still remeber CRTs right?

Keep up the FIRE attitude!

CoffeeR

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #33 on: April 15, 2018, 07:12:57 AM »
How can I convince him we don't need a new TV?
You can't. He may acquiesce for the sake of marriage, harmony, lack of strength to fight you, or for many other reasons, but to reach and change someones heart with the strength of ones arguments is almost impossible.

What matters to him? What is important to him? If the only item you disagree about is this TV, you have it good. Purchase the 100+ inch monstrosity and put a smile on his face. I suspect though more is going on. Especially the comment about paying off the TV... to me this speaks to more deep seated issues on money. I strongly recommend you come to a middle ground. Acknowledge he wants this TV, help him understand you want to save money and you do not want to go into debt. Can you use this issue to come closer together on money issues? Can you use this want of his to address something in the budget? Can you come together and work on carving out the money to save for this TV? Once the TV is purchased maybe the money freed up in the budget can go to your want (saving for the future!). Find a way to purchase this TV and at the same time improve your budget, improve your communication with him. Let him win this battle *if* you can move the bar and conversation on budgeting, saving, etc.
« Last Edit: April 15, 2018, 07:54:03 PM by CoffeeR »

blinx7

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #34 on: April 15, 2018, 07:27:56 AM »

OP I think you may have subconsciously ticked off a lot of people with your "if you do this, I'll divorce you comment." 

That's very controlling.  Imagine how you would feel if your husband started doing that to you?

I propose you solve this by having a budget.  The two of you both develop a budget.  That budget should include a small amount of money for wants in addition to needs.

In our house we have a 37 inch, 720p television that I bought almost ten years ago.  We also have a free 32 or so TV that we got due deaths in the family.  I have no idea what P it is and we rarely turn it on.

Generally this is a SAVING blog not a SPENDING blog so I found the big TV chorus a little surprising as well.  But given your tone, and that you need to compromise to make relationships work, I also understand why the PP reacted like they did.

Fireball

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #35 on: April 15, 2018, 07:39:46 AM »
Tell him if he still wants one in 3 months then you guys can try to find a reasonable TV. I get it. He wants one because buying new shit feels good. Delay that feeling a little while and see if he still feels the same about a new TV at that time. Maybe he will come to his senses on his own.

I mean, we could go on & on about how paying $1,000 for a new TV when you already have two is ludicrous, but you already know that. Ultimately, in a marriage, compromises are often a win.

Ryan

ender

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #36 on: April 15, 2018, 08:00:18 AM »
The fact that you even thought to throw out the D word (even if in your head you thought to put it here) around such a relatively inconsequential thing in the grand scheme of things strikes me as far more of a problem.

Anyways, as always, ask whys. You didn't explain why your husband wants a TV and are just shooting it down on principle. If you want an even remotely useful conversation you need to talk about the why instead of just shooting him down while shaking your head.

Anytime the question is "how do I convince someone of something obvious to me?" normally that can be translated, "I don't understand someone's viewpoint, help me find a battering ram to force them to accept mine anyways."

DreamFIRE

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #37 on: April 15, 2018, 08:44:01 AM »
Anyways, as always, ask whys. You didn't explain why your husband wants a TV and are just shooting it down on principle.

She did mention why.

Quote
We put an addition on my (now our) home that created a large family room.

Husband: We need a large TV for the family room
Me: Why?
Husband: Because the TV is now too small for the room.

I don't think the viewing distance to the TV was ever mentioned, but that would be key factor in determining if it was worth it:


ender

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #38 on: April 15, 2018, 09:18:27 AM »
Anyways, as always, ask whys. You didn't explain why your husband wants a TV and are just shooting it down on principle.

She did mention why.

Quote
We put an addition on my (now our) home that created a large family room.

Husband: We need a large TV for the family room
Me: Why?
Husband: Because the TV is now too small for the room.


Ok, great, so why does the husband think that? There's a lot of deeper questions here than the issue causing conflict.

See something like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5_Whys for a good approach for actually arriving at the root cause of whatever the conflict here is.

Kyle B

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #39 on: April 15, 2018, 09:33:23 AM »
Anyways, as always, ask whys. You didn't explain why your husband wants a TV and are just shooting it down on principle.

She did mention why.

Quote
We put an addition on my (now our) home that created a large family room.

Husband: We need a large TV for the family room
Me: Why?
Husband: Because the TV is now too small for the room.

I don't think the viewing distance to the TV was ever mentioned, but that would be key factor in determining if it was worth it:



The real issue is distance to the brother-in-law's sixty-incher.  :-)

PoutineLover

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #40 on: April 15, 2018, 09:42:44 AM »
I'm with the op on this, they already have 2 perfectly good tv's and he seems to want one for show off reasons, plus if he wants to put it on a payment plan he can't afford it. I don't have a tv, nor can I imagine spending 900 dollars on one. However, I am about to move in with my partner and he can't imagine not having a tv, so our compromise is keeping his. If he ever wants to upgrade it, I would not be happy about spending shared money on it, and I'd only do it if the current one stopped working.

KBurns

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #41 on: April 15, 2018, 11:12:26 AM »
As the OP I would like to mention that my husband and I have reviewed all comments together. As though I seem to be quite in the wrong with backwards humor that I tend to have I understand the divorce comment has hit quite hard in this forum. My husband and I have a fun and playful marriage and to us this banter. Different strokes for different folks right?

Crazy but we rarely fight. We are completely different but work perfectly together. Although I mention this as a weekly fight it's a occasional debate.

When I posted this with little detail and personal background I was unaware how much even a little backstory would help.

So here is the outcome: After we reviewed all the comments together I told him that a new TV can be in our immediate future the debate has been settled (even on 0% credit card if he chooses). We both liked the idea of trying to sell our current ones for even a little cash. His response was "I know we don't need one". As far as I know he can still buy it if he chooses but he doesn't seem to really want to buy it anymore. In the end I told him that I want him to be as happy as he can be ad if the TV will get him there than so be it.
« Last Edit: April 15, 2018, 11:16:49 AM by KBurns »

Making Cents

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #42 on: April 15, 2018, 11:57:56 AM »
I'm glad you guys found a compromise you are both happy with. In case it helps with your shopping decisions, here are some strategies we've used on major purchases like this:

Can you find something gently used on Craigslist that he likes? What gets posted there varies a ton by where you are, but in my city it is amazing what the wealthy side of town discards for anywhere from 10%-50% of the original purchase price after very light use over a couple of years or even just a few months. If you live within driving distance to a private university, that is a gold mine of wasted technology purchased in the last 4 years every time graduation rolls around in May. In the last year, we have done this to upgrade our router/file server, Apple TV, and modem all to the latest 2018 technology at less than 30% of the retail price. The only downside is your 0% credit card won't apply and you won't have the reassurance of returns/warrantee.

Or, shop used/refurbished with more confidence on Amazon, Walmart, Tanga, Best Buy, Ebay, etc? To avoid shipping costs by weight, our solution to TV back in 2012 was to find a well-priced used older model Vivitek Qumi portable LED projector with an Apple TV (we have had the Q2 or Q3 model ever since, works great and feels like having a movie theater at home). For less than $300, we got a bigger screen size than anything we would have been comfortable paying for in a TV. It also disappears when not in use, and the lamp-free design saves the maintenance costs of the super expensive full size home theater projectors. Our resolution is not anywhere near 4k, but I actually prefer that because nothing is ever pixelated. Flat screen prices have fallen so sharply though, this may no longer be the best solution (something we are checking into as we look to upgrade to HD soon).

Linda_Norway

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #43 on: April 15, 2018, 12:48:37 PM »
Check Graig's list or something similar for an office chair, which your husband also wants. Our office chair broke and we needed a replacement. We found a high end chair in a good condition for only 10% of the new price. It is much better quality than what I sit on at work.
So my advice is to buy second hand where you can. You might find a surpricingly good purchase.

Kyle B

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #44 on: April 15, 2018, 01:55:01 PM »
Also, the shopping tab in the FB app (bottom center) will track desired items and alert you when they come available.

Prices are also often as much as 90% off new.

RedmondStash

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #45 on: April 15, 2018, 03:30:16 PM »
So here is the outcome: After we reviewed all the comments together I told him that a new TV can be in our immediate future the debate has been settled (even on 0% credit card if he chooses). We both liked the idea of trying to sell our current ones for even a little cash. His response was "I know we don't need one". As far as I know he can still buy it if he chooses but he doesn't seem to really want to buy it anymore. In the end I told him that I want him to be as happy as he can be ad if the TV will get him there than so be it.

Glad you came to an outcome that you're both happy with.

And yeah, people online leap to all kinds of conclusions based on their own biases and a scarcity of detailed information.

BAMxi

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #46 on: April 19, 2018, 02:43:26 PM »
I haven't read all the replies, so sorry if someone already said this, but if you're going to buy a TV, you can get a perfectly acceptable 4k TV from somewhere like target for way less than $900, depending on the size you're looking for. Go to Target and look at the Amazon TVs they have for sale, I think their brand is Element. I think I saw a 55" for around $300 around Christmas time. They also carry the brand TCL, of which I own a 43" model and have been happy. They go all the way up to I believe 65" and are quite affordable for being a 4k TV, and they have Roku built in. I've been happy with my 43" model, especially considering I paid around $220 to have it shipped to my door with our Red Card combined with some other deals they were running at the time. I initially wanted to go up to the 49" because the price difference was negligible, but I couldn't fit it in the spot I wanted it if I went bigger. I caught mine on a sale right before black Friday that made it cheaper than the 1080p version.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2018, 02:45:34 PM by BAMxi »

Bettis

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #47 on: April 20, 2018, 08:18:33 AM »
To go along with finding a good deal, make sure you google calibration settings.  A decent TV with good calibration will look a lot nicer than a "premium" TV that is set like a store display.

Missy B

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Re: Husband NEEDS (wants) a NEW TV!
« Reply #48 on: April 20, 2018, 01:35:48 PM »
As the OP I would like to mention that my husband and I have reviewed all comments together. As though I seem to be quite in the wrong with backwards humor that I tend to have I understand the divorce comment has hit quite hard in this forum. My husband and I have a fun and playful marriage and to us this banter. Different strokes for different folks right?

Crazy but we rarely fight. We are completely different but work perfectly together. Although I mention this as a weekly fight it's a occasional debate.

When I posted this with little detail and personal background I was unaware how much even a little backstory would help.

So here is the outcome: After we reviewed all the comments together I told him that a new TV can be in our immediate future the debate has been settled (even on 0% credit card if he chooses). We both liked the idea of trying to sell our current ones for even a little cash. His response was "I know we don't need one". As far as I know he can still buy it if he chooses but he doesn't seem to really want to buy it anymore. In the end I told him that I want him to be as happy as he can be ad if the TV will get him there than so be it.

Good for you. Great answer.
My bf has a 70-something inch (second hand from his work, $700) which replaced his sixty-something inch screen (can you tell how little I care about TV size?) And he also has an 84 or 94 inch (again, can't remember) projector screen, mounted and projector.
I just don't go there. He will get it regardless of what I think. He is very particular about resolution, so it makes him happy to have it. And I haven't heard any more about how he neeeds a bigger screen since he got the last one. That wall won't fit a bigger one anyway.