How to bust through frugal fatigue

[GuitarStv]

I'm now thinking this may not have been the right place to share my experiences with FIRE - it just served to anger and confuse people.

It looks like what I'm trying to solve isn't one of the normal challenges people encounter so I'll need to figure something else out.

Thanks

I think that what you're experiencing is a normal challenge that most on the cheap side will run into at some point in their lives . . . people are expressing concern for the direction you're heading because they have some experience going down that path.  I certainly have had to revise my plans when reality doesn't cooperate with expectations.

[jim555]

I'm sorry but the "do what makes you happy" idea will knock you off your goal.  Sometimes you will have to make hard choices and put your future self above your present self.  This is not easy.  It requires resolve and sacrifice.  If you harbor the "I have a right to be happy" thought then it will be used as an excuse and you will fail.  Buck up and take the pain.  It is so worth it in the end.

[Retire-Canada]

I'm sorry but the "do what makes you happy" idea will knock you off your goal.  Sometimes you will have to make hard choices and put your future self above your present self.  This is not easy.  It requires resolve and sacrifice.  If you harbor the "I have a right to be happy" thought then it will be used as an excuse and you will fail.  Buck up and take the pain.  It is so worth it in the end.

Maybe we are using the word "happy" differently, but if your life choices are making you unhappy to the point where you talk about it damaging you in a quest to get to early retirement that's not something to suck up and take the pain. Personally I don't think there should be any extended "pain" involved in the Quest for FIRE. If there is I would suggest there is something wrong.

You can die any day so being unhappy now because you think you'll be happy later is a poor choice in my mind. Both because there may be no later for you and because if you can't be happy now there is not assurance you can or will be happy later.

If by "happy" you mean everyday can't be a birthday party.....sure I agree with that. I don't love work. I do it as a means to an end. There have been short periods where I hated work. But those periods were of limited duration. Work doesn't cause me grief or damage me. Neither do my choices that allow savings for FIRE. I could restrict my spending to the point where it would hurt. If I did I could be FIREd today. Doesn't seem worth it when I look at the totality of my life.

I'd also suggest that the solution for not being happy is not spending more money by default. It's figuring out the underlying reasons for the feelings and tackling them. Some of the solutions might have a cost [therapy, working fewer hours, etc...] but they also may be free [exercise, diet, learning coping strategies, etc...]

The way JayKay expressed themselves the situation sounds pretty serious and I would encourage them to spend time trying to make it better. It certainly doesn't sound like a situation where "sucking it up"is the healthy approach.

[GuitarStv]

I'm sorry but the "do what makes you happy" idea will knock you off your goal.  Sometimes you will have to make hard choices and put your future self above your present self.  This is not easy.  It requires resolve and sacrifice.  If you harbor the "I have a right to be happy" thought then it will be used as an excuse and you will fail.  Buck up and take the pain.  It is so worth it in the end.

To be happy you really need very little.  You need food/shelter/clothing, you need mental stimulation, you need friends.  None of these should require significant pain.  You should never have to sacrifice these.  If they do, you should re-examine your motives and goals and I suspect that you'll find something has gone awry with your logic.

[jim555]

Pain doesn't have to make you unhappy.  For example I worked in a place that would have overtime sometimes.  I would put in 2 hours a day and a Saturday and it would seriously bump up my paycheck.  I would call this pain.  But since it moved me towards my goal I was not unhappy.  Maybe unhappy having to deal with work and being tired, but not unhappy in the big picture.  This is what I mean by sucking it up. 

[EmFrugal]

JayKay- I'm wondering if the concept of minimalism might resonate better with you. The idea is that you pare down things in your life that don't bring you value, while building out things that bring passion and joy in your life. It doesn't mean you have to spend a ton of money to do so. You might try looking at Leo Babauta's work or reading some of The Minimalist's free downloadable book PDFs. I find that the concept of minimalism ties in well with MMM, but also brings a lot of fulfillment in my life. Wishing you all the best!

[gggggg]

I'm pretty minimalist and very frugal. I'm usually fine with my stripped down life, but once in a while, the stars all align and I make a purchase, be it big or small. It keeps me on track. If I denied myself everything, I don't think I would make it through the journey.