Author Topic: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?  (Read 26788 times)

jeninco

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #100 on: September 15, 2017, 12:01:14 PM »
This week, DD asked me:

DD:
Mom is that a new top? I haven't seen it before.. (long sleeve t-shirt I was wearing).
Me:   Nope

a little while later:
DD:  I think that top is too small on you.
me:  (looking down)  Ha, not too small.   Then I realize.  It is a t-shirt from the era when crop tops were very "in" and only came down to the top of my jeans, (not actually cropped) so I was flashing a 1/2 inch of skin when I reached for things...  at the time, it was one of the longer options available...

So, yes, clothing can definitely get too old as styles change.

<snerk>
I was volunteer-teaching a math class of 5th graders (so 12 years old or so) 6 years ago, in otherwise respectable-looking long pants and a plain solid-colored V-neck T-shirt of whatever cut I was able to get in the 5-year period preceding that. That would've made me ... mid-40s or so. I reached up to write something on the top of the board, a kid asked me about whether the piercing hurt to have done, and then we talked about something besides math for the next few minutes. (I tried to steer it along the "don't do it before you have children" lines.)

There are times when longer shirts are mandatory! When you try on your clothes in front of a mirror to check that they still fit you well, remember to reach up over your head!

(Edited to fix the typo Goldilocks saw.)
« Last Edit: September 16, 2017, 12:49:08 PM by jeninco »

Goldielocks

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #101 on: September 15, 2017, 10:30:04 PM »
longer shirts or shorts!?

LOL

marble_faun

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #102 on: September 15, 2017, 11:28:58 PM »
I think when you have that gut feeling that your clothes don't feel like you anymore, age wise especially, it's probably time to get some new stuff. I am not a big shopper at all, but around my late 20s I remember getting rid of some of my teenager stuff. I just felt a little funny in it, like it didn't suit me. I don't think you have to get rid of everything, jeans are fine, shoes, basic t-shirts, outerwear, classic pieces, but super trendy stuff that's really gone out of fashion or doesn't suit your lifestyle can be tossed.

-A former die-hard delia's girl

I agree with this, 100%!


But mainly I'm impressed that your Delia's stuff lasted that long!  I used to save up to buy super-trendy teenager-y stuff from the catalogue -- loved my Delia's knock-off JNCO's!   Can't imagine wearing any of that now, but I was into loud clothing that became quickly dated.

(And also... there's no way I could fit into clothing I wore when I was 14-15!)

jeninco

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #103 on: September 16, 2017, 12:48:10 PM »
longer shirts or shorts!?

LOL
Shirts. Damn, my fingers got ahead of my brain!

Hula Hoop

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #104 on: September 16, 2017, 01:23:34 PM »
That story reminded me - as a tall woman, I'm so glad that longer shirts are back in.  Back in the 90s I had a lot of those moments when I bought a new tshirt and then realized that if I reached up, I'd show the world my bright white, pudgy belly. 

I agree with the other women here that, unfortunately, women are held to a higher standard when it comes to grooming in most professions/the world.  I work in a pretty male dominated office with a large social component and when we get invited to work events it often says thing like "office wear" when, in fact, women can't just go in suits - we have to wear office appropriate dresses that are also evening appropriate - which is hard to do.  Plus makeup and jewellery of course.

I feel way less pressure to keep up fashion wise now in my mid 40 though then I did when younger.  I've also noticed that a bit of 10 year old lipstick (it seems to last forever for me) a bit of drug store mascara and some spendy concealer are enough to make me look professional enough for the office.  Also, I have a million scarves, necklaces etc now (many of them inherited from my mother in law or another friend who died) that I can just wear whatever plus a necklace and look 'put together'.  Good quality ones seem to be timeless.


BTDretire

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #105 on: September 16, 2017, 01:29:31 PM »
I have a sweatshirt from 1988, but it is only for work wear now as I got an oil stain on it from a gokart chain.
That's going on 30 years.
I wonder after washing and drying if the stain could be removed?

Goldielocks

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #106 on: September 16, 2017, 05:05:10 PM »
longer shirts or shorts!?

LOL
Shirts. Damn, my fingers got ahead of my brain!

ah, good.  I was wondering about the piercing.

Gin1984

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #107 on: September 16, 2017, 06:57:33 PM »
I just got rid of a skirt from high school (I graduated in 02) because when I tried it on after giving birth I relized it now is a bit see through.  I use clothes until they are not useful to me.

shelivesthedream

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #108 on: September 17, 2017, 02:56:03 AM »
It's not just that women are held to a higher standard - it's also a more complicated standard. Hula Hoop, your example about "office wear" for an evening do is a perfect one. Men have one outfit (misc dark suit) that will do those two events (and many more!). Women have to have a separate outfit for each event. And then that same men's suit could also go to a wedding, whereas our office suit is not appropriate and our evening-appropriate dress is the wrong colour or style for a daytime summer wedding...

It is possible to simplify women's clothing options. You really don't need a new dress for every event. But you do need more options for the different kinds of event than men do.

Imma

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #109 on: September 17, 2017, 04:06:12 AM »
I tried to simplify for a while about ten years ago, I'd buy only simple elegant black and grey dresses. At first I got compliments because the dresses were quite nice, but after some time people started noticing and commenting in a negative way.

I try to avoid buying too many special occasion dresses by buying one new party dress every december, nice for parties but conservative enough for weddings and work parties. Buying one new dress every year means at any one time I'll have about 5-6 dresses from previous years to choose from for every occasion while not having to buy too many party dresses (I prefer spending money on functional clothes). Because I have a few it's not a problem if I spill something on my dress during the christmas season, no emergency laundry because there's another do tomorrow (both sets of parents are divorced, lots of family to visit in a short period of time).

Hula Hoop

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #110 on: September 17, 2017, 04:09:21 AM »
Exactly - shelives.  Drives me nuts when my DH teases me about how many shoes I own.  He owns 2 pairs of shoes - a pair of sneakers and a pair of sandals (he's self employed) and I own about 10 pairs - most of them old and rarely worn.  But when I go to a swanky work event and I put on my light colored dress with a pair of black pumps, it looks all wrong and even he will tell me that.  I have to search in the back of the closet for a pair of light colored dress sandals that I probably wear once every 2 years.  I also have Birkenstock type sandals and sneakers for the weekend but my office is formal so I have to also own formal-ish versions of these shoes.  It really adds up when you can't just wear the same thing to every event (nice suit is fine for the office, a work event, a wedding etc. etc.) and must own numerous versions of these outfits plus shoes that match.

Imma - I probably buy fewer party dresses than one a year.  I have the one big, fancy work event every summer and then usually a wedding or two plus a few holiday parties.  It's really hard to be mustachian though with all these different levels of 'dressing up or down' expected of women.

Goldielocks

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #111 on: September 17, 2017, 11:13:20 AM »
Exactly - shelives.  Drives me nuts when my DH teases me about how many shoes I own.  He owns 2 pairs of shoes - a pair of sneakers and a pair of sandals (he's self employed) and I own about 10 pairs - most of them old and rarely worn.  But when I go to a swanky work event and I put on my light colored dress with a pair of black pumps, it looks all wrong and even he will tell me that.  I have to search in the back of the closet for a pair of light colored dress sandals that I probably wear once every 2 years.  I also have Birkenstock type sandals and sneakers for the weekend but my office is formal so I have to also own formal-ish versions of these shoes.  It really adds up when you can't just wear the same thing to every event (nice suit is fine for the office, a work event, a wedding etc. etc.) and must own numerous versions of these outfits plus shoes that match.



I do like the thrift store for the occassional clothing, shoes.   Getting a pair of dress sandals for once every year  / two years wear for $20, and a dress a year, also for $20, really extends the wardrobe, and I only need to pay for a few items that I need for daily use, like great workshoes.

shelivesthedream

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #112 on: September 17, 2017, 11:17:21 AM »
Back in university when I went out a lot more, my 'system' was to own one pair of black and white heels and one pair of gold heels. I worked out my exact size in one fancy brand that does a lot of eveningwear (Monsoon) and set up a standing search on eBay for my favourite colours and under £10. I probably bought maybe twenty dresses that way across the three years - for the price of one new one! Some I resold (not usually for much, about £5, or in a job lot) and a few I still have. Back when I would put that much effort into it :) Now I just have four smart dresses that have to take me everywhere and one pair of smart shoes (flats now!). If I went to a white tie event I'd have to buy something new, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it!

galliver

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #113 on: September 17, 2017, 11:34:25 AM »
I don't tend to have too many occasions to wear dresses, but I picked up several (at Ross) before going to a wedding at a resort where it sounded like there was a dress code for dinner, and I didn't want to wear the same thing every night.

I've ended up with other occasions to use most of them, but the one I find most versatile is fairly dark purple, sheath style/cut but not too tight, some ruched/drapey bits that keep it interesting, wide shoulders, stretchy synthetic fabric that stays wrinkle free. It's gone on fancy dates w/bf, it's gone to weddings, I think it could totally pull off a work day/work event combo. Probably the closest thing I've encountered to a man's suit. However, I expect if worn to repeated events with the same crowd it would still attract attention/comments on wearing the same thing, where a man's suit would not...

PS intended to share something I have found quite versatile, in case it helps someone streamline their dress wardrobe :) I suspect other non-black dark colors would work similarly well: red, blue, green. Black is of course endlessly elegant but sometimes frowned upon for weddings (as too dark/glum).
« Last Edit: September 17, 2017, 11:39:55 AM by galliver »

Hula Hoop

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #114 on: September 17, 2017, 01:39:56 PM »
I've saved a ton of money on clothing of late by basically using handmedowns and freebies.  For example, a colleague is on some huge health kick right now and lost a bunch of weight.  She gave me 6 pairs of her old pants and a few shirts.  The shirts didn't fit and two pairs of pants didn't work.  But for the other 4, I just got them tailored longer as I'm tall and they're perfect.  Same for an evening type dress. 

I also bought a bunch of really nice kids' clothes second hand at their school's semiannual second hand market.  At the end of the day, people were literally giving me dresses and shoes for my younger kid as they just wanted to get rid of them.  My kids are very well dressed and I'd say 75% of their wardrobes are second hand.

I never seem to have luck with shoes at thrift stores probably because I have big feet but I've had great luck with brooches, necklaces and scarves. 

rdaneel0

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #115 on: September 18, 2017, 06:47:33 PM »
So the funny thing is is that I actually used to be rather stylish. I spent some time working as a personal shopper at high end department store and was once even photographed by Scott Schumann for The Sartorialist (more than a decade ago when the site was just starting out so it doesn't have the same cache it does now) but once I  dedicated myself to environmentalism and frugality I told myself that my love of clothing and style was consumerist crap.

This post has been sort of interesting for me - like starting to exercise a long atrophied muscle. I started asking it from a very mustachian place - ie. Is it ever okay to throw away old clothes when they fit and have no holes in them? I was looking for permission to go with my gut feeling.

But a couple pages into the thread I've come around to: I do love clothes and I could probably tell you exactly my personal style in about 10 seconds. I know exactly what I want - I just don't feel "mustachian" about what I want. Interesting.

YES! I also used to work in the fashion world (high-end retail). I feel the same way. I could sum up my style in one sentence, and I'm very particular about fabrics, colors, proportions, etc.

I know this will sound totally insane to non-fashion oriented folks, but if I hate what I'm wearing, it's like an active hatred. I can't stand it and I can't think about anything else. I've never craved name brands for the sake of name brands, so it's not a status thing, it just bothers me. I feel the same way about poor lighting in a room or a room with a terrible color scheme/off proportions. 

Anyway, I think I've found a good MMM balance for me to feel good and not spend much on clothing. I put my money where it really counts (e.g. quality shoes last way longer than cheap payless shoes).

I think at this point my closet is:

1/4 high priced quality staples (shoes, boots, coats, layering cold-weather gear, I don't mean designer items, but I paid $160 for the leather boots I've had for the last 7 years, and $300 for a coat I will probably own for 15 years)
1/4 medium priced everyday items (skirts, jeans, lingerie, blouses, maybe $30-$50)
1/2 super cheap (trendier) items (tank tops, cami's, t-shirts,dresses, purse, wallet, workout wear, pajamas, maybe $5 to $20)

I still get the enjoyment of having enough clothing to put together new outfits, and since half of my wardrobe is super cheap (like $15 or less for an item) I can still incorporate some trends into what I wear, and paired with my nicer shoes and outerwear I think it all looks pretty good!

 
« Last Edit: September 18, 2017, 06:54:17 PM by rdaneel0 »

rdaneel0

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #116 on: September 18, 2017, 06:49:34 PM »
I think when you have that gut feeling that your clothes don't feel like you anymore, age wise especially, it's probably time to get some new stuff. I am not a big shopper at all, but around my late 20s I remember getting rid of some of my teenager stuff. I just felt a little funny in it, like it didn't suit me. I don't think you have to get rid of everything, jeans are fine, shoes, basic t-shirts, outerwear, classic pieces, but super trendy stuff that's really gone out of fashion or doesn't suit your lifestyle can be tossed.

-A former die-hard delia's girl

I agree with this, 100%!


But mainly I'm impressed that your Delia's stuff lasted that long!  I used to save up to buy super-trendy teenager-y stuff from the catalogue -- loved my Delia's knock-off JNCO's!   Can't imagine wearing any of that now, but I was into loud clothing that became quickly dated.

(And also... there's no way I could fit into clothing I wore when I was 14-15!)

Hahaha, omg, knock-off JNCO's!!!! I know exactly what you're talking about. Pair that with a real chunky flip flop sandal and roll some glitter in your hair, and you're out the door! #fabulous

Optimiser

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #117 on: September 19, 2017, 02:05:38 PM »
So the funny thing is is that I actually used to be rather stylish. I spent some time working as a personal shopper at high end department store and was once even photographed by Scott Schumann for The Sartorialist (more than a decade ago when the site was just starting out so it doesn't have the same cache it does now) but once I  dedicated myself to environmentalism and frugality I told myself that my love of clothing and style was consumerist crap.

This post has been sort of interesting for me - like starting to exercise a long atrophied muscle. I started asking it from a very mustachian place - ie. Is it ever okay to throw away old clothes when they fit and have no holes in them? I was looking for permission to go with my gut feeling.

But a couple pages into the thread I've come around to: I do love clothes and I could probably tell you exactly my personal style in about 10 seconds. I know exactly what I want - I just don't feel "mustachian" about what I want. Interesting.

YES! I also used to work in the fashion world (high-end retail). I feel the same way. I could sum up my style in one sentence, and I'm very particular about fabrics, colors, proportions, etc.

I know this will sound totally insane to non-fashion oriented folks, but if I hate what I'm wearing, it's like an active hatred. I can't stand it and I can't think about anything else. I've never craved name brands for the sake of name brands, so it's not a status thing, it just bothers me. I feel the same way about poor lighting in a room or a room with a terrible color scheme/off proportions. 

Anyway, I think I've found a good MMM balance for me to feel good and not spend much on clothing. I put my money where it really counts (e.g. quality shoes last way longer than cheap payless shoes).

I think at this point my closet is:

1/4 high priced quality staples (shoes, boots, coats, layering cold-weather gear, I don't mean designer items, but I paid $160 for the leather boots I've had for the last 7 years, and $300 for a coat I will probably own for 15 years)
1/4 medium priced everyday items (skirts, jeans, lingerie, blouses, maybe $30-$50)
1/2 super cheap (trendier) items (tank tops, cami's, t-shirts,dresses, purse, wallet, workout wear, pajamas, maybe $5 to $20)

I still get the enjoyment of having enough clothing to put together new outfits, and since half of my wardrobe is super cheap (like $15 or less for an item) I can still incorporate some trends into what I wear, and paired with my nicer shoes and outerwear I think it all looks pretty good!

 

You may benefit from a healthy dose of stoicism here. Cato the Younger is said to have deliberately worn ugly and unfashionable clothing in order to inure himself to the pointless judgement of others-- to learn to be ashamed of only what was shameful. Obviously, you wouldn't want to do this at work or somewhere that there may actually be consequences for not wearing appropriate dress.

StarBright

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #118 on: September 19, 2017, 02:43:25 PM »

I know this will sound totally insane to non-fashion oriented folks, but if I hate what I'm wearing, it's like an active hatred. I can't stand it and I can't think about anything else. I've never craved name brands for the sake of name brands, so it's not a status thing, it just bothers me. I feel the same way about poor lighting in a room or a room with a terrible color scheme/off proportions. 
 

Whoa! yep - that sounds like me totally. The poor lighting and proportion thing especially. I have rooms in my house that I think are "perfect" - balance, color, etc. I feel actual happiness when I step into the rooms. A beautiful garden or an art museum also give me these feelings.  I think I am strongly aesthetically motivated.

I agree with the name brand thing too - I am actually less likely to buy something logo'd (well, in my pre-mustachian life - I haven't bought bought name brand anything in years:)) but am an absolute sucker for materials, textures and craftsmanship.

StarBright

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #119 on: September 19, 2017, 02:50:30 PM »

You may benefit from a healthy dose of stoicism here. Cato the Younger is said to have deliberately worn ugly and unfashionable clothing in order to inure himself to the pointless judgement of others-- to learn to be ashamed of only what was shameful. Obviously, you wouldn't want to do this at work or somewhere that there may actually be consequences for not wearing appropriate dress.

So how long does it take to inure oneself?  I've been wearing unfashionable clothing for a long time and it still clearly makes me uncomfortable:)

Is this like when people say you eventually get used to the thermostat being low in the winter?

rdaneel0

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #120 on: September 19, 2017, 08:33:00 PM »
So the funny thing is is that I actually used to be rather stylish. I spent some time working as a personal shopper at high end department store and was once even photographed by Scott Schumann for The Sartorialist (more than a decade ago when the site was just starting out so it doesn't have the same cache it does now) but once I  dedicated myself to environmentalism and frugality I told myself that my love of clothing and style was consumerist crap.

This post has been sort of interesting for me - like starting to exercise a long atrophied muscle. I started asking it from a very mustachian place - ie. Is it ever okay to throw away old clothes when they fit and have no holes in them? I was looking for permission to go with my gut feeling.

But a couple pages into the thread I've come around to: I do love clothes and I could probably tell you exactly my personal style in about 10 seconds. I know exactly what I want - I just don't feel "mustachian" about what I want. Interesting.

YES! I also used to work in the fashion world (high-end retail). I feel the same way. I could sum up my style in one sentence, and I'm very particular about fabrics, colors, proportions, etc.

I know this will sound totally insane to non-fashion oriented folks, but if I hate what I'm wearing, it's like an active hatred. I can't stand it and I can't think about anything else. I've never craved name brands for the sake of name brands, so it's not a status thing, it just bothers me. I feel the same way about poor lighting in a room or a room with a terrible color scheme/off proportions. 

Anyway, I think I've found a good MMM balance for me to feel good and not spend much on clothing. I put my money where it really counts (e.g. quality shoes last way longer than cheap payless shoes).

I think at this point my closet is:

1/4 high priced quality staples (shoes, boots, coats, layering cold-weather gear, I don't mean designer items, but I paid $160 for the leather boots I've had for the last 7 years, and $300 for a coat I will probably own for 15 years)
1/4 medium priced everyday items (skirts, jeans, lingerie, blouses, maybe $30-$50)
1/2 super cheap (trendier) items (tank tops, cami's, t-shirts,dresses, purse, wallet, workout wear, pajamas, maybe $5 to $20)

I still get the enjoyment of having enough clothing to put together new outfits, and since half of my wardrobe is super cheap (like $15 or less for an item) I can still incorporate some trends into what I wear, and paired with my nicer shoes and outerwear I think it all looks pretty good!

 

You may benefit from a healthy dose of stoicism here. Cato the Younger is said to have deliberately worn ugly and unfashionable clothing in order to inure himself to the pointless judgement of others-- to learn to be ashamed of only what was shameful. Obviously, you wouldn't want to do this at work or somewhere that there may actually be consequences for not wearing appropriate dress.

I would agree, except for the fact that I've already found a good balance that I'm happy with.

I think you might have gotten the idea, from my post, that I'm constantly shopping or spending a huge amount on clothing, which is inaccurate but understandable based on what I posted. I last bought clothing about 8 months ago when I purchased 2 bras, a pack of socks, 2 pairs of jeans (replacing 7+ year old jeans) and one pair of comfort sandals (replacing a 5+ year old pair). I probably won't shop all this fall/winter, or the following summer, but the winter after that...I might need some new boots.

That said, I still have a great little black leather jacket, a classic trench coat, some nice stockings in different colors, a few flattering dresses, some nice work skirts, some cheap but cute blouses, two blazers, and some casual wear.

My goal isn't to cave to social pressures of beauty or status or style, it's to feel comfortable in what I'm wearing. For me, this is achievable by blending very low cost items with moderate to higher priced items that last longer.

OP, maybe we should start a thread for sharing brands?

« Last Edit: September 19, 2017, 08:39:19 PM by rdaneel0 »

pdxmonkey

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #121 on: September 19, 2017, 09:01:59 PM »
the last two times I went in to the office different women commented on how I always wear the same things. It made me very self conscious and in the past few weeks I've turned a very critical eye towards my closet.

That is super rude. I can't believe someone would say something like that to you.

I have about 8 shirts, 5 pairs of pants and 1 pair of shoes that I wear to work. I work 5 days a week, so I wear the same things all the time.

FWIW - I don't think they were trying to be rude - more like making chit-chat commentary. One girl was like "Wow -I think you were wearing that cardigan when I had my internship interview here and that was almost 10 years ago." For being a black cardigan it has a distinctive trim on the sleeves so I guess one might notice those things. Also several of the younger women I work with are very on-trend and very into clothes so clothes talk is one of the ways they interact - but all of the sudden it made me very AWARE.

Haven't finished reading the thread so not sure if its been suggested, but there are both men and women who wear the same thing to work every day. Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerburg are the most famous that come to mind, but I have seen articles on female executives doing the same thing. If you only buy one set of work clothes since you don't go in that often you could just say yeah I do it on purpose..so I can concentrate on the work that matters or whatever.

Larsg

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #122 on: September 19, 2017, 10:20:11 PM »
We only replace items once they absolutely wear out - e.g. holes that cannot be repaired, thread bare, etc. If we grow out of something and the clothes are still good, we will donate them. Since my wife and I now both work from home and no longer have to travel for work, we have retired all need for the uniform (uncomfortable suites, shoes, ties, chemical goops for hair and body). We now dress down permanently. Think of the Steve Jobs Uniform - jeans and black t's - combo of short and long. That's about it for both of us, mixed in w/exercise clothes that we buy in high quality (e.g. 35$ running pants that last over 10 years or more).

We do not buy fashionable things but instead, classic, high quality, long wear neutrals that never go out of style.

We have saved thousands and no longer ponder this question. We get nervous if anyone invites us to something where we have to Dress Up other than jeans and t's as we have grown that much - for us in a good way. Mostly we opt no longer to go to those types events if our new persona won't fit. It usually means that the event is no longer a fit. Now, of course there may be outliers here like weddings, kids graduations, etc but again, we're not going to buy needless things to fit into someone else idea of what we should look like. As long as we are clean and comfortable, good enough.

pbkmaine

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How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #123 on: September 20, 2017, 03:27:47 AM »
I get a lot of pleasure from inexpensively sourcing quality clothing. I am going to a preppy wedding next summer and know there will be tons of seersucker suits with bow ties and Talbots and Lilly Pulitzer dresses. So, whenever I am in thrift stores, I go through the dresses. Last week I found a Talbots dress that fits me perfectly for $5.

« Last Edit: September 20, 2017, 03:34:20 AM by pbkmaine »

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #124 on: September 20, 2017, 04:47:02 AM »
A thoughts, because we're in the same age/gender bracket, and I don't see this experience reflected in most of these comments:
Older man, specifically older white men, can get away with far older/more worn/less fashionable clothing and still command respect than basically any other demographic. If there's any area in your life in which you have to fight to be seen or listened to, you'll want to maintain a small supply of good quality basics in whatever era's cuts flatter you most. I can't dress like a teen or even a little sloppy; I'm small and young-looking and work in a male-dominated industry. I would encourage you to consider an small, thoughtful (second hand/consignment) update to your wardrobe.

rdaneel0

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #125 on: September 20, 2017, 08:15:32 AM »
A thoughts, because we're in the same age/gender bracket, and I don't see this experience reflected in most of these comments:
Older man, specifically older white men, can get away with far older/more worn/less fashionable clothing and still command respect than basically any other demographic. If there's any area in your life in which you have to fight to be seen or listened to, you'll want to maintain a small supply of good quality basics in whatever era's cuts flatter you most. I can't dress like a teen or even a little sloppy; I'm small and young-looking and work in a male-dominated industry. I would encourage you to consider an small, thoughtful (second hand/consignment) update to your wardrobe.

THIS. I'm 30, female, in a male-dominated field in a major city. I'm also petite and young looking, and I get a completely different response from other professionals when I'm put together versus in jeans and a t-shirt (which my male co-workers wear all the time). I wore jeans a t-shirt to one event, and I will never do it again, I kept getting asked if I was an intern or an assistant, what my credentials were, and some people just straight up ignored me/interrupted me. In a nice blouse and a skirt, I have no problems whatsoever.

rockstache

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #126 on: September 20, 2017, 09:32:24 AM »

OP, maybe we should start a thread for sharing brands?

YES PLEASE!! I like very specific advice and am terrible at fashion. I would love this.

fluffmuffin

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #127 on: September 20, 2017, 10:02:14 AM »

OP, maybe we should start a thread for sharing brands?

YES PLEASE!! I like very specific advice and am terrible at fashion. I would love this.

Would there be interest in a buy/sell/trade clothing swap type situation?

You may benefit from a healthy dose of stoicism here. Cato the Younger is said to have deliberately worn ugly and unfashionable clothing in order to inure himself to the pointless judgement of others-- to learn to be ashamed of only what was shameful. Obviously, you wouldn't want to do this at work or somewhere that there may actually be consequences for not wearing appropriate dress.

I respect where you're coming from here, Optimiser, but there are consequences for women here that there just aren't for men. And you never know when you're going to run into someone, at least in my city. Maybe I'm just on a quick grocery run, but I go to the same store as plenty of influential people in my workplace--I don't need to be dressed like I am for work, but I need to maintain some level of personal grooming. Society also simultaneously sexualizes, commoditizes, and shames women's bodies in a way that it doesn't for men's (at least on a large scale; of course individual men may experience any and all of those things). There are also clothes I don't feel comfortable wearing--because I don't feel safe with the way people react to my body when I'm wearing them.

I don't blame you for not being aware of this and suggesting what you did, but I think just about every woman in the world intuitively knows that what may seem like "the pointless judgment of others" can have real-world ramifications.

rdaneel0

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #128 on: September 21, 2017, 02:41:49 PM »

OP, maybe we should start a thread for sharing brands?

YES PLEASE!! I like very specific advice and am terrible at fashion. I would love this.

Would there be interest in a buy/sell/trade clothing swap type situation?

Yes please! I used to work with a bunch of women who were around my size and it was great, but now everyone at my workplace is older and wears a bigger size than me. I miss getting fresh clothing!

I would be into this too!!!

rdaneel0

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #129 on: September 21, 2017, 02:50:10 PM »

OP, maybe we should start a thread for sharing brands?

YES PLEASE!! I like very specific advice and am terrible at fashion. I would love this.

Would there be interest in a buy/sell/trade clothing swap type situation?

You may benefit from a healthy dose of stoicism here. Cato the Younger is said to have deliberately worn ugly and unfashionable clothing in order to inure himself to the pointless judgement of others-- to learn to be ashamed of only what was shameful. Obviously, you wouldn't want to do this at work or somewhere that there may actually be consequences for not wearing appropriate dress.

I respect where you're coming from here, Optimiser, but there are consequences for women here that there just aren't for men. And you never know when you're going to run into someone, at least in my city. Maybe I'm just on a quick grocery run, but I go to the same store as plenty of influential people in my workplace--I don't need to be dressed like I am for work, but I need to maintain some level of personal grooming. Society also simultaneously sexualizes, commoditizes, and shames women's bodies in a way that it doesn't for men's (at least on a large scale; of course individual men may experience any and all of those things). There are also clothes I don't feel comfortable wearing--because I don't feel safe with the way people react to my body when I'm wearing them.

I don't blame you for not being aware of this and suggesting what you did, but I think just about every woman in the world intuitively knows that what may seem like "the pointless judgment of others" can have real-world ramifications.

Yep, this. You don't have to wear a full face of makeup and $500 high heels, but there are real ramifications for women in terms of dress, both professionally and in terms of personal safety. It's the same reason I bring cover ups for OVER my workout clothes after I've left class. I mean, technically it's more comfortable physically without the cover ups, but it's not safe (in my experience) to walk around in yoga pants and a spaghetti strap top with no bra...I get screamed at, talked to, eye fucked, etc. so I have these dumb cover ups I cart around. But then there's the whole "women have soooo many clothes, LOL!!!" from guys, and I just want to be like, DUDE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? If it were up to me I would wear a black tank top and black yoga pants with sneakers every single day.

Imma

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Re: How Old is Too Old for Clothing?
« Reply #130 on: September 23, 2017, 08:38:50 AM »
Monday I'm returning to work after my annual leave of two weeks, so I'm getting all my work clothes together and making sure they're cleaned and ironed where necessary. I'm also putting one of the dresses on to visit my mother today - dressing up for family is a big thing in my family. I'm sure she'd let me in the house wearing my normal 'around the house'  - outfit, but she would keep talking about it for the entire time I'm there. My family is very judgemental about my appearance - even though I think I look pretty well put together, my relatives are still pretty nasty about it. Our relationship isn't great, I don't visit them a lot, but hearing their disapproval all the time doesn't feel nice.

 

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