How much money is peace with your SO worth?

[Rural]

Our temp disagreements are over actual comfort rather than cost - he wants it cooler than I can manage well, winter and summer, and can't sleep well in temps I'm comfortable at. Our solution is an electric blanket for me in winter and extra covers in summer. Cost isn't much affected, really, because of the way we built this house, earth sheltered with extreme thermal mass.


Marital peace is priceless; if he's miserable from lack of sleep, I can't possibly be happy.


+1 to those who have mentioned menopause as a factor to be taken into consideration; we got much closer to agreement on temperatures during that time, as I wanted it cooler, too. It was a silver lining to an uncomfortable time, but it seems to have mostly passed.

[Retired To Win]

... At what point would a similar situation push you into taking a stand on what you would see as an avoidable -- and mounting -- waste of money?

It's curious to me how everyone seems to have interpreted my question as meaning temperature comfort situations.  I intended (hoped) the discussion to be broader.  But it turned out to be all about couple's different tolerances for ambient temps.  Curious...

[Rural]

... At what point would a similar situation push you into taking a stand on what you would see as an avoidable -- and mounting -- waste of money?

It's curious to me how everyone seems to have interpreted my question as meaning temperature comfort situations.  I intended (hoped) the discussion to be broader.  But it turned out to be all about couple's different tolerances for ambient temps.  Curious...

Well, we don't generally fbicker, but his well-being? Worth everything, as mine is to him We've reformulated our life plan this year and put off FI for I don't yet know how many years to get him out of a job that was making him sick.


So, money's not the important thing here. If it were something small and petty? We'd talk it out. When it really matters, though, we pull together and spend whatever we have to (time or money, and time is finite and growing shorter) to make it work.

[Cassie]

I got crazy hot during menopause & even though it is gone I seem to be permanently hot.  Definitely not about $ but comfort. The colder partner can put clothes on but there is only so much you can take off without getting arrested.

[Retired To Win]

... the wife has surprised me by inching up the thermostat to 80 (without even telling me)...

And today it's up to 81!  I am completely comfortable now.  Fortunately, there are ceiling fans directly above her pc work station, the dining room table and the bed (as well as several other places).  So it turns out she's perfectly comfortable, too.

Yay!

[deborah]

It's curious to me how everyone seems to have interpreted my question as meaning temperature comfort situations.  I intended (hoped) the discussion to be broader.  But it turned out to be all about couple's different tolerances for ambient temps.  Curious...

I look at whatever the frustration is and say to myself "Does it matter, and if it does, why does it matter?". And then we might have a friendly discussion about IT (if IT matters), or I might tell him why I have decided something doesn't really matter, and we might have a laugh about IT. It is important to be flexible - we have had different upbringings and different experiences so naturally we have different views on the way things should be done.