I have a slightly different perspective here. I can’t say that I’m really criticized for my spending habits, or if I am it’s subtle and infrequent enough that I can’t recall the occasion. Many of my friends remark that I’m “good with money” so I’ve decided to make the choice to bring up frugality and conscious spending in casual conversation whenever it applies. I like to weave environmentalism in there too. I got almost all of my furniture at estate sales or off of craigslist/FB marketplace, and I’ll be the first to bring that up when someone compliments my home. I’ll say “thanks, I found that at an estate sale for $40. Even a cheap ikea version would be several hundred dollars and it would have been made in a factory with a lot of harmful glues and synthetic stuff.” Before I finally replaced my 14 year old car, if anyone would comment about it I’d say “Yeah, I’ll have to replace it one of these days before it starts needing costly repairs but I bought it 9.5 years ago for $4,000. I’m trying to get to 10 years so I can brag about spending $400/year on my car. Some people spend that much every month on their car payment.” When I decline an invitation to a restaurant I’ll casually add “I’m trying to spend less on restaurants and cook more at home right now. It’s healthier, and I’ve decided to prioritize saving up for a trip to XYZ next year.” Every Christmas and birthday I make a point of always telling people that I already have every material thing I could possibly want and that I just want to spend time with them as my present. For my daughter I haven’t had such good luck curbing the stream of presents but I try to point out that she already has tons of toys she doesn’t use, but would love to go do XYZ with them to build lasting memories.
I figure, on any given day we receive hundreds of carefully crafted, subliminal messages that are pro-consumerism and equate happiness with purchases... love with spending. I like to be one happy voice advocating for the opposite. Showing off and bragging about our fancy, expensive belongings seems to be completely socially acceptable. Whereas talking about avoiding debt, budgeting and conscious spending is a little taboo. I’ve been pleasantly surprised how often my comments break the ice and open the door for others to talk about their financial realities with less embarrassment.
“Wow, you want to eat less at restaurants too? Cool, let’s pack a lunch and do a hike instead.”
“You’re considering a new car and worried about the payments? I get that. Have you considered saving the payment amount starting now to see how it feels? If you can do that while stretching your current car for another couple of years, you could probably find something nice for all cash.”
“The clutter is killing you too? I keep flirting with the idea of going full minimalist. There are a couple really cool blogs you should check out.”