How do you deal with "The Grind"?

[tobitonic]

I try to train my brain to be overly optimistic. For a few days, I'll send colleagues notes thanking them for what they bring to the team. I copy supervisors, and I force myself to write them to colleagues that I hate. Just before it stops looking genuine, I switch to another project.

I lolled.

[MonkeyJenga]

When I had more free time during the day, I would take long walks at lunch. Now I generally take my walks straight from work and spend lunch with friends.
I always take lunch.
I refuse to stay late or work on the weekends.
I disengage emotionally. I'm here to do a job, and the outcome of any particular project or meeting doesn't affect me.
I don't get involved in office politics.
I take advantage of meetings to make work friends.
I focus on my core job functions and do those. I don't volunteer for extra work.
I don't stress out (anymore) about getting excellent performance reviews. It's not nearly worth the hours and stress required to possibly be in contention for a slightly higher bonus.
When I leave the office, I'm done with it. I don't talk about work, I don't think about work, I don't complain about work. If I do talk or write about it, I can forget all about it immediately after. I was only able to make this change once I left a super-stressful job. It was almost besides the point that the new job also had a higher salary.

[Trudie]

When I leave the office, I'm done with it. I don't talk about work, I don't think about work, I don't complain about work. If I do talk or write about it, I can forget all about it immediately after. I was only able to make this change once I left a super-stressful job. It was almost besides the point that the new job also had a higher salary.

This has been a helpful tactic for me as well.  And while I don't always stick to it, the more I do the better I feel.  I sort of feel like complaining is helpful to a point, but rehashing things over and over is useless and harmful, in the end.

I exercise good boundaries as well -- no weekend or night work. 

[forummm]

When I had more free time during the day, I would take long walks at lunch. Now I generally take my walks straight from work and spend lunch with friends.
I always take lunch.
I refuse to stay late or work on the weekends.
I disengage emotionally. I'm here to do a job, and the outcome of any particular project or meeting doesn't affect me.
I don't get involved in office politics.
I take advantage of meetings to make work friends.
I focus on my core job functions and do those. I don't volunteer for extra work.
I don't stress out (anymore) about getting excellent performance reviews. It's not nearly worth the hours and stress required to possibly be in contention for a slightly higher bonus.
When I leave the office, I'm done with it. I don't talk about work, I don't think about work, I don't complain about work. If I do talk or write about it, I can forget all about it immediately after. I was only able to make this change once I left a super-stressful job. It was almost besides the point that the new job also had a higher salary.

I've left this open and reread this about 7 times now over the past couple days. I'm trying to commit it to my consciousness. I've been happier with work when I've done similar things.

[tobitonic]

When I had more free time during the day, I would take long walks at lunch. Now I generally take my walks straight from work and spend lunch with friends.
I always take lunch.
I refuse to stay late or work on the weekends.
I disengage emotionally. I'm here to do a job, and the outcome of any particular project or meeting doesn't affect me.
I don't get involved in office politics.
I take advantage of meetings to make work friends.
I focus on my core job functions and do those. I don't volunteer for extra work.
I don't stress out (anymore) about getting excellent performance reviews. It's not nearly worth the hours and stress required to possibly be in contention for a slightly higher bonus.
When I leave the office, I'm done with it. I don't talk about work, I don't think about work, I don't complain about work. If I do talk or write about it, I can forget all about it immediately after. I was only able to make this change once I left a super-stressful job. It was almost besides the point that the new job also had a higher salary.

Solid advice. Personally, I make it a point to leave as soon as possible after contracted hours, and am always one of the first people out of the building. Unfortunately, I can't avoid doing some work at home because we have a number of garbage assessments that we can't write up or enter online during the day, since we're...you know, teaching. I've pretty much started making them up completely, because they're garbage and tell you nothing about young children's development, but it still takes hours to enter them in every few months. I'm still working on getting that done as efficiently as possible and, more importantly, not taking work stress home. It's almost never the kids; it's almost always the principal, parents, other teachers, or higher level administrators.

[Grigory]

I read the most escapist science fiction I can possibly find - it helps forget about the grind! I'm also a member of some local social organizations (think Meetup, but more informal) that hang out together several times a week.

Having hobbies is a great boon too. I always have a writing project in the works and have published quite a few Kindle books.

Last but definitely not least, it helps if you travel. Even a minor trip every 3-4 months helps get your mind out of the grind-induced routine, hits the reset button on your boxed-up perceptions and helps you get that much-needed perspective and peace. :)

[Sailor Sam]

I make friends with the people I work with. When my tasks take a nose dive into the boring and pointless, I take a break to visit with someone. The social aspect doesn't make the work itself any more enjoyable, but I do look forward to seeing my friends each day.

I know it's not a solution that will appeal to everyone, or even be possible for others, but it's essential for me. Depending on the day, I spend 87% to 100% of my waking hours with these people, might as well spend it with my friends.

[mrpercentage]

I check in here when I can. I won't let it interfere with work though.

I do most things at work on auto pilot.

It took a while but I have embraced the things that suck. I have convinced myself that I either like it or it will not last long and go with the flow. Life is much easier when you quit battling forces out of your control. It also easier when you focus on whatever little things you do like at work. 90% of it could suck but if you focus on what you actually like-- it wont be bad. Its like running in a sense-- the first mile may not be fun, but once the runners high is in, and you are in the zone the time will fly

If you feel that you require alcohol,excessive entertainment, excessive food, or sex to drown out the nonsense you should take a step back and evaluate what you are focusing on (or running from). I recommend climbing on your roof and looking at the stars-- or going to a park at night (who cares if its legal) and do the same. Let it all come into focus as you lose yourself. It will. This to shall pass.

[Luke Warm]

i was watching video of the spacex booster land on the barge the other day. the also showed the control room as it was approaching the barge. those people were going apeshit and when it landed they were cheering and hugging. i bet they don't have to deal with the grind. talk about job satisfaction.

[StarBright]

I read somewhere recently that late Winter/early (cold) Spring is absolutely the worst time of year for your feelings about your life/job and is also when our impulse control is the lowest. Basically never make an important life decision until it is decisively spring. This rings true for me as every year I get an itch to quit around February and it doesn't go away until the days are sunshiny.

I tell myself to hold on until it is warm outside. It is my goal and the thing that keeps me going. "The Grind" is suddenly not a thing when I have lots of daylight hours, warm temps, green grass and pleasant breezes. Our environment is SO IMPORTANT.

FWIW - I telecommute (THE HOLY GRAIL!) but my job is pretty Grindy. I am expected to be in front of my computer a minimum of 9 hours a day and to answer my phone within two rings so I have a hard time even getting to the other side of my apartment. I usually have to do an hour or two of additional work after the kids go to bed but this is easier because I have the freedom to get up and move around, take breaks etc.

I second everything everyone said about getting out if you can. If you can't, an additional suggestion I have is to set a timer every 50 minutes and then spend 5-10 stretching, listening to a song, just looking away from your computer.

[forummm]

i was watching video of the spacex booster land on the barge the other day. the also showed the control room as it was approaching the barge. those people were going apeshit and when it landed they were cheering and hugging. i bet they don't have to deal with the grind. talk about job satisfaction.

I'm not sure. I think they definitely have a lot of satisfaction. But they also get worked to death. You can have a job that results in great accomplishment but also have the grind in the interim. SpaceX and Tesla are known for having trouble with work/life balance. A lot of them love their jobs I'm sure. But even so it has to get to be a bit much at times.

[boy_bye]

MonkeyJenga's list is A++.

The key for me seems to be consistently working on a creative project outside of work. When I do this, I feel like an artist who has the greatest day job in the world. When I don't do this, I feel like I'm a corporate hack who is wasting my life.

The answer won't be the same for everyone, but if there's some larger project that you can pour your heart into, then maybe The Grind will feel less grindy and more like the foundation that lets you live the life you want to live.

[RedmondStash]

The Grind is hard. I like the idea of disengaging emotionally, but I've never been able to do it. I'm the kind of person who gets really invested in my work, which can definitely backfire, especially when things get political.

What I do is:

- Find something I find satisfying about my work, and focus on that as much as possible.
- Connect with people at work, so going in feels like going to hang with good friends. (This hasn't always been possible, but it's solid at the job I'm at now.)
- Listen to my fave music while I work. It almost always perks me up.
- Take breaks and step away from my desk when I can. Sometimes I'll even grab a bathroom stall and take my phone in, check Facebook, check email, dink around a little. It's private and quiet.
- When at home, do breathing exercises to help let go a bit. I find this helps regardless of the kind of stress I'm dealing with.
- Work from home when I can (not often, but every bit helps).
- Take PTO days to get an extra break now and then.
- Sometimes, count the minutes. :(

Mostly my job is really great, one of the best I've had. Aside from some recent bumps, it's someplace I might stay for a while even after FI, because it's rewarding and I like externally created structure in my life. I also work with great people, and I'd miss them.

But even so, there are days when the end of the day can't come soon enough.

[Luke Warm]

i was watching video of the spacex booster land on the barge the other day. the also showed the control room as it was approaching the barge. those people were going apeshit and when it landed they were cheering and hugging. i bet they don't have to deal with the grind. talk about job satisfaction.

I'm not sure. I think they definitely have a lot of satisfaction. But they also get worked to death. You can have a job that results in great accomplishment but also have the grind in the interim. SpaceX and Tesla are known for having trouble with work/life balance. A lot of them love their jobs I'm sure. But even so it has to get to be a bit much at times.

it probably looks great on a resume though.

[Kitsune]

A lot of the suggestions here apply for me: take a lunch break, leave work at work, exercise, make sure I have time for family/friends/hobbies/satisfying things outside of work (NOT 3 hours of TV, that doesn't help me).

Really bad days, though? I update my resume and find an interesting-looking job posting. And apply.

There's something freeing about knowing that I'm not trapped, and that if it keeps going downhill I have options. Basically: opening doors for myself. I don't have to step through them (and usually I decide that where I'm at is ok after all), but having those doors open means I don't feel trapped, which in turn gives me the emotional boost I need to stand up to what is really peeving me off and making me look elswhere.

[Luke Warm]

A lot of the suggestions here apply for me: take a lunch break, leave work at work, exercise, make sure I have time for family/friends/hobbies/satisfying things outside of work (NOT 3 hours of TV, that doesn't help me).

Really bad days, though? I update my resume and find an interesting-looking job posting. And apply.

There's something freeing about knowing that I'm not trapped, and that if it keeps going downhill I have options. Basically: opening doors for myself. I don't have to step through them (and usually I decide that where I'm at is ok after all), but having those doors open means I don't feel trapped, which in turn gives me the emotional boost I need to stand up to what is really peeving me off and making me look elswhere.

i've thought about applying for other jobs just for kicks but i would feel bad if they called me with a serious offer and i had to turn it down. maybe i shouldn't feel bad about it.

[Kitsune]

A lot of the suggestions here apply for me: take a lunch break, leave work at work, exercise, make sure I have time for family/friends/hobbies/satisfying things outside of work (NOT 3 hours of TV, that doesn't help me).

Really bad days, though? I update my resume and find an interesting-looking job posting. And apply.

There's something freeing about knowing that I'm not trapped, and that if it keeps going downhill I have options. Basically: opening doors for myself. I don't have to step through them (and usually I decide that where I'm at is ok after all), but having those doors open means I don't feel trapped, which in turn gives me the emotional boost I need to stand up to what is really peeving me off and making me look elswhere.

i've thought about applying for other jobs just for kicks but i would feel bad if they called me with a serious offer and i had to turn it down. maybe i shouldn't feel bad about it.

Well, the way I think about it, options are:
- They call you with a serious offer. It is less/equal but not better to what you are making. You refuse, because the offer is not competitive/not competitive enough to make you change jobs. You decline with regrets, giving the reason, and emphasize that you're interested in future opportunities that match your interest in x, y, z.
- They call you with a serious offer. It is more interesting work than what you're doing, or significantly more money, or just someplace far away from that person that's making your life miserable. TAKE IT. Even if you hadn't planned on switching jobs.

Honestly? The last time I got an unexpected job offer, the offer was 50% more than I'd been making. Sure, I hadn't planned on switching jobs so soon, buuuuttttt..... :)

[frugalecon]

I try to have positive non-work-related interactions, either while commuting or with random people at the office. Also, if I have a moment, I may call Mom.

My situation is complicated by the fact that I recognize that work at my employer is objectively important, but it just doesn't speak to me. When I can, I try to support other people and help them to shine. My career is closer to the end than the beginning, so that seems like the best plan. (Based on my calculations, my work life is between 67.5 and 81.67 percent complete.)

[SaskyStache]

+1 for MonkeyJenga's list, especially avoiding the dreaded office politics.

My grind usually isn't too bad when I'm following a lot of the things suggested here: getting up every now and stretching/going for walk and talks, trying to focus on the good bits, a drink after work, having some end date or date of significance that you're working towards... and I have a couple things that I keep in my back pocket for the days that become a little bit more stressful or toxic.

- I try to keep some comedy (either stand up or comical podcasts) on my Ipod specifically for stressful moments. A little comedy can go a long way at these times.
- If things get really bad I will sometimes also type out my stress into something like notepad and then delete. My version of screaming into the void. Probably sounds a little ridiculous, but I actually find it helpful to vent in a safe location.

[azure975]

When I had more free time during the day, I would take long walks at lunch. Now I generally take my walks straight from work and spend lunch with friends.
I always take lunch.
I refuse to stay late or work on the weekends.
I disengage emotionally. I'm here to do a job, and the outcome of any particular project or meeting doesn't affect me.
I don't get involved in office politics.
I take advantage of meetings to make work friends.
I focus on my core job functions and do those. I don't volunteer for extra work.
I don't stress out (anymore) about getting excellent performance reviews. It's not nearly worth the hours and stress required to possibly be in contention for a slightly higher bonus.
When I leave the office, I'm done with it. I don't talk about work, I don't think about work, I don't complain about work. If I do talk or write about it, I can forget all about it immediately after. I was only able to make this change once I left a super-stressful job. It was almost besides the point that the new job also had a higher salary.

I used to employ all of these strategies (in addition to a few others like running errands in the middle of the day, etc) and it really helped me to get through for several years. However, it seems that the gig is up as I have recently been spoken to by my boss about my "lack of engagement" and how she would like to see me take initiative and take on extra projects. I am now planning my exit--hope to take a "mini-retirement" and then try to find work that I really AM engaged in (if it exists).

[SaskyStache]

i was watching video of the spacex booster land on the barge the other day. the also showed the control room as it was approaching the barge. those people were going apeshit and when it landed they were cheering and hugging. i bet they don't have to deal with the grind. talk about job satisfaction.

To be fair, half of the monitors in the control room show beloved pets that Musk only releases on successful landings, so it's a little skewed. But he gets results.

[MonkeyJenga]

When I had more free time during the day, I would take long walks at lunch. Now I generally take my walks straight from work and spend lunch with friends.
I always take lunch.
I refuse to stay late or work on the weekends.
I disengage emotionally. I'm here to do a job, and the outcome of any particular project or meeting doesn't affect me.
I don't get involved in office politics.
I take advantage of meetings to make work friends.
I focus on my core job functions and do those. I don't volunteer for extra work.
I don't stress out (anymore) about getting excellent performance reviews. It's not nearly worth the hours and stress required to possibly be in contention for a slightly higher bonus.
When I leave the office, I'm done with it. I don't talk about work, I don't think about work, I don't complain about work. If I do talk or write about it, I can forget all about it immediately after. I was only able to make this change once I left a super-stressful job. It was almost besides the point that the new job also had a higher salary.

I've left this open and reread this about 7 times now over the past couple days. I'm trying to commit it to my consciousness. I've been happier with work when I've done similar things.

Wow, I'm glad it had an impact! I think my main purpose in life  is convincing people to stop giving so many fucks to their jobs. As a recovering perfectionist, I've been there, and it was miserable. Learning how to chill out improved my life tremendously.

[Kitsune]

When I had more free time during the day, I would take long walks at lunch. Now I generally take my walks straight from work and spend lunch with friends.
I always take lunch.
I refuse to stay late or work on the weekends.
I disengage emotionally. I'm here to do a job, and the outcome of any particular project or meeting doesn't affect me.
I don't get involved in office politics.
I take advantage of meetings to make work friends.
I focus on my core job functions and do those. I don't volunteer for extra work.
I don't stress out (anymore) about getting excellent performance reviews. It's not nearly worth the hours and stress required to possibly be in contention for a slightly higher bonus.
When I leave the office, I'm done with it. I don't talk about work, I don't think about work, I don't complain about work. If I do talk or write about it, I can forget all about it immediately after. I was only able to make this change once I left a super-stressful job. It was almost besides the point that the new job also had a higher salary.

I've left this open and reread this about 7 times now over the past couple days. I'm trying to commit it to my consciousness. I've been happier with work when I've done similar things.

Wow, I'm glad it had an impact! I think my main purpose in life  is convincing people to stop giving so many fucks to their jobs. As a recovering perfectionist, I've been there, and it was miserable. Learning how to chill out improved my life tremendously.

It's true. Everyone tells you that you're supposed to care, which leads to taking things personally if they're not 110%. Reaching The Fuckits has allowed me to do an excellent job and then leave it behind at work, because worK is WORK - it's not an all-important, all-powerful piece of personal validation.

[golden1]

Yep, Monkeyjenga's list is spot on.  I used to stress about work to the point of near hysteria and now it is much better.

However, I do sometimes wish I had a job that I felt more engaged in and provided a better sense of purpose.  I have a friend of mine who has that sort of career, and he just seems happier and more fulfilled. 

[ender]

A big factor is recognizing the grind is not externally imposed but self imposed.

Whether that is because you want to FIRE or love your job, when you start working as if it is 100% your choice to be there you will act differently. You will stop taking crappy assignments because you don't want to do them. You will push back against stupid hours because you are choosing to be there.

The way I think about this is that I will give my company 40 hours a week. Every single hour above that is entirely, completely, and unapologetically my own decision. If I stay late helping someone, which I love doing? Fine. Staying late doing pointless work I don't like doing? Not going to happen. Staying late because management has unrealistic timelines or lack of planning? Not going to happen. Staying late because something is super interesting to me and I'd rather do it right than fast? Sure.


Also, one thing I frequently see missed is use your benefits/perks. If you get vacation time -- use it. Sick leave? Use it. Free X? Use it. Generous policies about flex time or working from home or other things you value? USE THEM. So many people are either too afraid to ask for things or simply straight up leave benefits on the table.


Sick time is probably the biggest offender in my opinion. If I feel crappy my work is pointless. I can go suffer for a day and get 1-2 hours of meaningful work done while not feeling better and crashing that night from exhaustion. Why the heck do people do this? If my company has a reasonable sick policy I am going to take a day off, recover, and feel better (and be more productive later to boot). It's better for me and my work. I'm not going to go sit at work and get the "hero award" for being a complete moron and ignoring my body's signs, feeling miserable, and potentially gifting coworkers that.

... and I'm not going to be on my deathbed before making this decision. A bad cold puts me out of commission for week if I don't rest. A single day's rest "saves" most of that time and makes my life much better. So of course I'm going to take a sick day. But way, way too many people have a "if I'm breathing I'm healthy enough to work sit at work miserably" attitude which is completely stupid.

[Life in Balance]

Great suggestions on this thread. 

I agree about taking sick days.  I used to drag myself to work no matter how sick I was.  Now I stay home and rest.  It makes a world of difference.  Don't know why I couldn't understand it before because it's just common sense.

[Ellabean]

Great suggestions, thank you!

I know I resist taking a sick day when I should because I'm trying to hoard my PTO so I can take care of my kids when they're sick... but that's only part of it. I feel like I get in a mentality where I HAVE to go to work unless someone is SUPER sick. This is a good reminder that I don't need to do that.

And now I've been working at my current job for six months, I've accumulated enough PTO where I can take a sick day and still have PTO in reserve.

[ender]

Great suggestions, thank you!

I know I resist taking a sick day when I should because I'm trying to hoard my PTO so I can take care of my kids when they're sick... but that's only part of it. I feel like I get in a mentality where I HAVE to go to work unless someone is SUPER sick. This is a good reminder that I don't need to do that.

And now I've been working at my current job for six months, I've accumulated enough PTO where I can take a sick day and still have PTO in reserve.

I used to feel more bad about taking sick days, until I realized that normally taking a single day off to rest and recover was considerably better for my company in terms of my overall productivity.

[Luke Warm]

my first real job, i didn't miss a day for the whole year. they gave me a company coffee cup. i made sure to call in sick at least once a year after that.

[Duchess of Stratosphear]

I was just thinking about how much The Grind sucks this morning as I headed back in after a four-day weekend. To make it worse, my best friend at work recently retired and it's been tough to be here without someone who is on the same page. I'm going for the pension, though, so that's why I stay!

Anyhow, all this makes me think of my favorite Acoustic Syndicate song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhD9tV6Nhqs

[eljefe-speaks]

counter strike global offensive

Video games, woot! They get such a bad rap but the entertainment to dollar ratio is just outstanding. I am currently obsessed with Dark Souls, I look forward to playing it all day (god I'm a nerd), it will entertain me for well over 100 HOURS and it cost $15. Then Dark Souls 2... and then 3!

More generally, hobbies and exercise keep me sane during the grind.

Another aspect of the grind I hate: I get really depressed after vacations. Returning to the grind after capturing a precious part of your authentic self is just sole-crushing.

[Trimatty471]

I am following because I am so bored at work.  It does not help matters that we are slow.

I currently:

Walk around the block.
Asked to be cross trained.
Helped my coworker on a project.
Read, read, read

[Trimatty471]

I don't deal with well at all.  I cry. A lot.  I eat a lot.  My job really isn't that bad, I just hate the whole thing. Getting up at 5 am, commute that just keeps getting longer.  Sitting here for hours and hours with unstimulating work.  Commute home.  But then I am so tired and have to cook and do chores and walk the dog if I'm up to it.  I feel like a zombie.  Couple this with the fact that we moved into a small condo to get out of debt faster. I miss a house. I miss a yard.  I'm bored at work.  I've gained a ton of weight because I eat all day at work to fill the boredom/void/whatever you want to call it. I used to shop at lunch everyday but I stopped that after going through the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace class. 

Knowing there is no hope of escape doesn't help either.  Even once we're out of debt, then we have to save for a house, which saving $150,000 for a down-payment and closing costs just seems impossible at this point.  So I'll have to keep sludging away.  My dreams of chickens and goats and vegetable gardens are pointless.  That's the other issue with the Grind. I spend way too much time in my head because I don't need my brain for anything else.  It's a dangerous place to dwell. lol 

Sorry for this sad first post.  LOL!  I was already really down this morning when I read this post.

I do everything you do but cry.

[Schaefer Light]

my first real job, i didn't miss a day for the whole year. they gave me a company coffee cup. i made sure to call in sick at least once a year after that.

That's almost as good as a one year subscription to the jelly of the month club.

[Fishindude]

Have been following this thread and it's really pretty sad how badly some folks hate their jobs.  Many paid shit loads of money to go to college so they could put themselves into these horrible jobs.  Why do you continue to do it?  And what would you be doing if you weren't at work?

Guess I'm lucky, because I've always liked work.   

[Luke Warm]

my first real job, i didn't miss a day for the whole year. they gave me a company coffee cup. i made sure to call in sick at least once a year after that.

That's almost as good as a one year subscription to the jelly of the month club.

i like jelly

[Northwestie]

Have been following this thread and it's really pretty sad how badly some folks hate their jobs.  Many paid shit loads of money to go to college so they could put themselves into these horrible jobs.  Why do you continue to do it?  And what would you be doing if you weren't at work?

Guess I'm lucky, because I've always liked work.

Agreed.  Find another job already.  This is how you want to spend 8 hrs a day???   Same with playing video games - jesus.  No way.

[Legg-Stache]

Monkeyjenga, your list is an exercise in working to live vs living to work and I really, really like it. I emotionally disengaged from a meeting that was going south this week and the results were great, instead of my whole emotional state going to shit, I was mindful of the fact that this meeting has no objective impact on my life and getting worked up about it is not worth it (especially when I considered that I was working in CPG, arguably one of the most anti-mustachian industries out there). So thank you for that!

However, I do sometimes wish I had a job that I felt more engaged in and provided a better sense of purpose.  I have a friend of mine who has that sort of career, and he just seems happier and more fulfilled.

As for the quote above, I find this really interesting because I (and I assume most people) have a friend that seems engaged in their career to the point of it being a higher calling...However, I sometimes wonder, is socially engaging about worklife with friends like using facebook posts as a proxy for someone's overall happiness? I.e. people sometimes posture about their current work experience in order to seem better off? That being said sometimes people simple say "I hate my fucking job" and this of course blows up the facebook theory...

Have been following this thread and it's really pretty sad how badly some folks hate their jobs.  Many paid shit loads of money to go to college so they could put themselves into these horrible jobs.  Why do you continue to do it?  And what would you be doing if you weren't at work?

Guess I'm lucky, because I've always liked work.   

Notes like this make me sad, frustrated, envious, and hopeful. That does not mean they are wrong, they just point out a few different things that cause these emotions, namely:

1) Other people are happy with their jobs (which makes me believe that their is hope out there for work I enjoy)
2) Yes, I realize college is a sunk cost, but sure makes you feel like a dumb ass if the education you paid for is not going towards a profitable career (not saying that the education can't be applied elsewhere, I just haven't developed a good enough plan for me to justify leaving my current career)
3) It is frustrating because I feel on some levels it is like prescribing "Stop Drinking" as an antidote to alchoholism, which while in practice seems like a simple solution there are so many more levels to it than that (this is melodramatic, but you get the analogy)

[Chris22]

Have been following this thread and it's really pretty sad how badly some folks hate their jobs.  Many paid shit loads of money to go to college so they could put themselves into these horrible jobs.  Why do you continue to do it?  And what would you be doing if you weren't at work?

Guess I'm lucky, because I've always liked work.

Agreed.  Find another job already.  This is how you want to spend 8 hrs a day???   Same with playing video games - jesus.  No way.

Yup.  A lot of people in here seem to need to talk to a therapist or something regarding depression or other mental condition .  I don't dance to work every day, and there are the occasional bad days, but overall the work is interesting and fulfilling and if it isn't I'll go do something else. 

[cj25]

Have been following this thread and it's really pretty sad how badly some folks hate their jobs.  Many paid shit loads of money to go to college so they could put themselves into these horrible jobs.  Why do you continue to do it?  And what would you be doing if you weren't at work?

Guess I'm lucky, because I've always liked work.

Well, I need money.  The same position at a different company isn't going to be any different. I don't have any other experience that will get me a job doing something else that will pay as well. If money were no object, I would have my backyard homestead and grow some of my own food.  I would get more involved with church and other organizations that run food pantries or make meals for people.  I would love to get more involved with foster care.  I would be outside in the morning and not wake up at 4:45.  I would walk outside & dig in the dirt and try to do things that people have always done until humanity decided it was better to sit around all day under fake light in a beige box, never see the sun, eat fake food and make stupid spreadsheets that don't really matter.  I could get chores done during the week so we could actually enjoy the weekend.

[therethere]

Have been following this thread and it's really pretty sad how badly some folks hate their jobs.  Many paid shit loads of money to go to college so they could put themselves into these horrible jobs.  Why do you continue to do it?  And what would you be doing if you weren't at work?

Guess I'm lucky, because I've always liked work.

Yeah you are lucky. I continue to do it because I still have to pay off my loans! I don't feel like I have a choice to switch jobs because I would be starting over and paid much less. Also, unfortunately DH's parents took out student loans on his behalf also so now I don't feel comfortable switching career paths when they are still paying them off. And I have 10 years of lost time (spent paying all extra money to student loans) to make up to save for any other life changes. After awhile you just learn to deal with the drudgery. I just haven't learned how to not let it spill over into my mental health yet.

[StarBright]

Have been following this thread and it's really pretty sad how badly some folks hate their jobs.  Many paid shit loads of money to go to college so they could put themselves into these horrible jobs.  Why do you continue to do it?  And what would you be doing if you weren't at work?

Guess I'm lucky, because I've always liked work.

Agreed.  Find another job already.  This is how you want to spend 8 hrs a day???   Same with playing video games - jesus.  No way.

Yup.  A lot of people in here seem to need to talk to a therapist or something regarding depression or other mental condition .  I don't dance to work every day, and there are the occasional bad days, but overall the work is interesting and fulfilling and if it isn't I'll go do something else.

While there are good points in here I think it is also important to note that many people can be stuck in jobs (for the health insurance and other benefits, needing to be in a specific location,etc.) and it isn't always so easy to just go and do something else. And when you are "stuck" in a job it is more likely to feel like a grind. Reaching out for suggestions on how to deal with that is healthy and proactive in my opinion.

I also think we can do a disservice encouraging everyone to just go and do work they find fulfilling - sometimes a job is just a job and you might not be doing anything wrong if you can't find a job you love. Sometimes it is just the luck of the draw. Sometimes what fulfills you, doesn't pay your bills.

I'm probably one of those people who sounds like they need to find a new job as I told a"jerk boss" story (which I actually find pretty funny) and I genuinely enjoy my job 80% of the time - but when you are in the middle of the 20% it is hard to see the forest for the trees. I like this thread because seeing other people's suggestions are great reminders for me of things I can do when in the midst of a down period.

[BFGirl]

Have been following this thread and it's really pretty sad how badly some folks hate their jobs.  Many paid shit loads of money to go to college so they could put themselves into these horrible jobs.  Why do you continue to do it?  And what would you be doing if you weren't at work?

Guess I'm lucky, because I've always liked work.

Well, I need money.  The same position at a different company isn't going to be any different. I don't have any other experience that will get me a job doing something else that will pay as well. If money were no object, I would have my backyard homestead and grow some of my own food.  I would get more involved with church and other organizations that run food pantries or make meals for people.  I would love to get more involved with foster care.  I would be outside in the morning and not wake up at 4:45.  I would walk outside & dig in the dirt and try to do things that people have always done until humanity decided it was better to sit around all day under fake light in a beige box, never see the sun, eat fake food and make stupid spreadsheets that don't really matter.  I could get chores done during the week so we could actually enjoy the weekend.

Yep.  This!!

[SomedayStache]

Have been following this thread and it's really pretty sad how badly some folks hate their jobs.  Many paid shit loads of money to go to college so they could put themselves into these horrible jobs.  Why do you continue to do it?  And what would you be doing if you weren't at work?

Guess I'm lucky, because I've always liked work.

While I recognize that my job is actually pretty great - I still dread going every day, feel like it's a waste of 9 hours of my time, and do have trouble dealing with the grind.  (Plus federal buildings totally suck.  To get a glimpse of the outdoors I have to go down two flights of stairs and walk for 5 minutes. )

I stay because I am the single income earner for our family of five.  My husband has never made more than $11/hr and currently stays home with our 3 young kids.  My $80k salary is really great for our area of the country and it would be  hard to find a comparable paying position with good benefits- especially because I work only 40 hours per week and its low stress.  But I still feel like my time at the job is a complete waste of my life energy.

I would rather be home playing with my kids.  Planting / preserving food.  Practicing the harp so that I can pursue my goal of playing therapy harp for hospice patients.

Heck - I'd even rather be waiting tables (immediate gratification and fast-paced), but not going to make 80k doing that.

[Tris Prior]

I tell myself to hold on until it is warm outside. It is my goal and the thing that keeps me going. "The Grind" is suddenly not a thing when I have lots of daylight hours, warm temps, green grass and pleasant breezes. Our environment is SO IMPORTANT.

You know, I think there is a lot of truth to this. We're having a snowy April. I looked at the weather forecast for later in the week/weekend, and it all says "Highs in the 70s, except for you poor bastards near the lake where it'll still be in the 40s so no gardening for you, MUAHAHAHAHA." (I may be paraphrasing slightly. ;) ) It just makes me want to cry and hibernate. My main coping mechanism is gardening and I've been struggling to do that indoors, cramming more and more plants under the grow light in hopes that at some point they can go outside. It is good to have the reminder that once temps are reliably 60ish my mood will improve a lot. Though I feel like at the rate we're going that'll happen in July. :P

I've been struggling a lot with The Grind lately. I took a new job and my entire team is in a lull period. The huge project I am supposed to be on is delayed due to some high-level corporate BS - so, it's coming, but we don't know when. So most days I have literally nothing to do. I've been trying to learn new skills, get up to speed on processes, working through some online classes and such, but I just cannot stay focused on that for 8 hours a day. I learn better when I can apply what I'm learning to actual work, and that does not currently exist. Plus the whole rest of my team is spending their entire day on social media. I do not want to do that since I am new, but I sort of wonder why I'm making the effort to look busy when no one else is. A lot of them also are ducking out early without permission ... but again, new kid, don't want to make a bad impression.

My commute's longer, and I'm taking a different train with passengers that seem much ruder than those on my former train. (Manspreading ahoy! Lack of personal space! People who step onto the train and then just STAND THERE IN THE DOORWAY dumbfounded, as though they're not quite certain what to do next, unaware of the crowd of people behind them! Cubs season just started, so trains now full of drunk loud a-holes who rarely ride public transport and aren't sure how! Argh!)

Meanwhile, I'm making more money than I ever have in my life and I feel sort of dirty about that as I am not actually producing anything at the moment. My boss tells me not to worry about it, that this happens sometimes and soon we'll have plenty to do. I really like the people I work with and I have great benefits and, eventually, generous PTO. But I am used to jobs where I am constantly crazy-busy and putting out fires. I worked my ASS off at my last job for a salary in the mid-$20k's. This feels so wrong - and having nothing to do just encourages me to stay in my head and feel crappy about mandatory 9-5 ass in seat time when I could be doing other stuff. I think I'd feel differently if I felt like I had a purpose at work.


cj25, I can relate to a lot of what you said. I have land lust so badly I could just cry some days. I want a homestead. I want to have my hands in the dirt instead of sitting at a desk serving time for no reason other than I need a paycheck. I want to help others (I have signed up for some volunteer opportunities in the coming weeks and am excited about that... but it's all on the weekends and I'm not certain when cooking and errands will get done now.) All this makes me focus harder on FI, but as I'm coming off of a good 5 years of severe underemployment, that seems so far away on days I'm sitting in my cube struggling to fill the time.

[robartsd]

When I was working an overtime Grind (~10 hr/day + a few hours on Saturday), I made sure to get away from work at every break I was entitled to. For me that meant seeing how far away from work I could walk in the first 7 minutes of my 15 minute break (I tried to explore as much of the blocks around the office as I could). I still brought my lunch, but only used 1/2 of my lunch break to eat it, the other half was used walking. I did not use MY breaks for needed restroom visits, I took those on the clock if possible. While at work, I challenged myself to be as productive as possible (and I felt I was one of the most productive in the office at my tasks) - the focus on the challenge helped keep my mind off the Grind. Much more difficult for me is dealing with Grinding through trying to keep busy on slow work days.

[AlwaysLearningToSave]

Wow, I'm glad it had an impact! I think my main purpose in life  is convincing people to stop giving so many fucks to their jobs. As a recovering perfectionist, I've been there, and it was miserable. Learning how to chill out improved my life tremendously.

It's true. Everyone tells you that you're supposed to care, which leads to taking things personally if they're not 110%. Reaching The Fuckits has allowed me to do an excellent job and then leave it behind at work, because worK is WORK - it's not an all-important, all-powerful piece of personal validation.

As a trying-to-start-recovering perfectionist I struggle with this.  My trouble is that I seem to swing back and forth between perfectionistic over-attachment to work and apathy.  I have a hard time finding an alternative source of motivation after realizing I need to let go of pursuit of external validation and perfectionism as the source of motivation.  I know there's a happy medium in there somewhere but I haven't found it yet. 

[Eric]

Have been following this thread and it's really pretty sad how badly some folks hate their jobs.  Many paid shit loads of money to go to college so they could put themselves into these horrible jobs.  Why do you continue to do it?  And what would you be doing if you weren't at work?

Guess I'm lucky, because I've always liked work.

Agreed.  Find another job already.  This is how you want to spend 8 hrs a day???   Same with playing video games - jesus.  No way.

You guys are pretty out of touch.  It's like Mitt Romney saying that if you want to start a business, why not just get a loan from your parents?

While I'm sure there are amazing jobs out there that make you feel fulfilled, to expect that everyone can just get one of these or that all you have to do to find one of these jobs is to "follow your passion" is pretty short sighted.  Having worked a number of different jobs, none of them were better than not going to work.  Which is pretty much why just about all of us are on this forum.

So what this thread is doing is giving ideas for how to deal with the job.  The suggestion to "find another job" is worthless, as if we're only one magical job away from wanting to work the rest of our lives.  It's also pretty condesending, as if it's some brilliant idea that none of us have ever thought of before.

[eljefe-speaks]

Have been following this thread and it's really pretty sad how badly some folks hate their jobs.  Many paid shit loads of money to go to college so they could put themselves into these horrible jobs.  Why do you continue to do it?  And what would you be doing if you weren't at work?

Guess I'm lucky, because I've always liked work.

Agreed.  Find another job already.  This is how you want to spend 8 hrs a day???   Same with playing video games - jesus.  No way.

You guys are pretty out of touch.  It's like Mitt Romney saying that if you want to start a business, why not just get a loan from your parents?

While I'm sure there are amazing jobs out there that make you feel fulfilled, to expect that everyone can just get one of these or that all you have to do to find one of these jobs is to "follow your passion" is pretty short sighted.  Having worked a number of different jobs, none of them were better than not going to work.  Which is pretty much why just about all of us are on this forum.

So what this thread is doing is giving ideas for how to deal with the job.  The suggestion to "find another job" is worthless, as if we're only one magical job away from wanting to work the rest of our lives.  It's also pretty condesending, as if it's some brilliant idea that none of us have ever thought of before.

+1. Well said.

[Northwestie]

Have been following this thread and it's really pretty sad how badly some folks hate their jobs.  Many paid shit loads of money to go to college so they could put themselves into these horrible jobs.  Why do you continue to do it?  And what would you be doing if you weren't at work?

Guess I'm lucky, because I've always liked work.

Agreed.  Find another job already.  This is how you want to spend 8 hrs a day???   Same with playing video games - jesus.  No way.

You guys are pretty out of touch.  It's like Mitt Romney saying that if you want to start a business, why not just get a loan from your parents?

While I'm sure there are amazing jobs out there that make you feel fulfilled, to expect that everyone can just get one of these or that all you have to do to find one of these jobs is to "follow your passion" is pretty short sighted.  Having worked a number of different jobs, none of them were better than not going to work.  Which is pretty much why just about all of us are on this forum.

So what this thread is doing is giving ideas for how to deal with the job.  The suggestion to "find another job" is worthless, as if we're only one magical job away from wanting to work the rest of our lives.  It's also pretty condesending, as if it's some brilliant idea that none of us have ever thought of before.

I just don't get why folks spend so much time and money in college only to come out and have to spend time hating what they do to get money.  I guess if you've dug yourself such a hole you can't climb out of -- well there you are.  Who do you want to blame?    Seems rather life crushing to me and not good planning.

I check the forum for some additional tips on saving and investing - certainly not because I hate my job.