How do you come up with work goals?

[Zikoris]

Help! My employer is switching to a new performance evaluation system where everyone has to come up with goals. Like, measurable, real stuff, not fluffy bs like "be happy".

My job consists of three things: cleaning and stocking kitchens, setting up and cleaning up for meetings and events, and reception relief. I've been doing this for four years, and have no interest in advancement/promotions. I'm at a loss here.

Has anyone had similar experiences? What kind of goals did you come up with?

[pdxbator]

Oh hell we have this too. It's awful! I work in healthcare and my goal is to be safe, have quality care, and get through the day. I'm a great employee with high regard. The goal filling out sucks though! Somehow you have to come up with measurable goals. Who are the consultants thinking this shit up?

[UKfire]

Take a look at this which might help and make you look: SMART

S - specific, significant, stretching

M - measurable, meaningful, motivational

A - agreed upon, attainable, achievable, acceptable, action-oriented

R - realistic, relevant, reasonable, rewarding, results-oriented

T - time-based, time-bound, timely, tangible, trackable

https://www.projectsmart.co.uk/smart-goals.php

[Zikoris]

Take a look at this which might help and make you look: SMART

S - specific, significant, stretching

M - measurable, meaningful, motivational

A - agreed upon, attainable, achievable, acceptable, action-oriented

R - realistic, relevant, reasonable, rewarding, results-oriented

T - time-based, time-bound, timely, tangible, trackable

https://www.projectsmart.co.uk/smart-goals.php

Yeah - I've been told they need to be SMART goals. That's even worse. I'm absolutely drawing a blank given the nature of my job. There's no part of my job that's even trackable, except for hours worked.

[FIRE Artist]

I think it is BS for anyone below management level to be expected to set their own performance objectives for the year.  I feel likewise for the whole self evaluation at appraisal time as well.  When I was a line manager, I never asked employees to do this. 

Having said that, you could focus the objectives around setting reasonable performance standards for your tasks...such as having the conference room set up 30 minutes before the meeting time 90% of the time.  So basically BS objectives that are in line with the level of service you already provide.  It is a good way to show management exactly what you are responsible for as well, which could be a good thing or a bad thing.

I also wouldn't worry about the fact that you have no way to measure this without self reporting. 

[goalphish2002]

Help! My employer is switching to a new performance evaluation system where everyone has to come up with goals. Like, measurable, real stuff, not fluffy bs like "be happy".

My job consists of three things: cleaning and stocking kitchens, setting up and cleaning up for meetings and events, and reception relief. I've been doing this for four years, and have no interest in advancement/promotions. I'm at a loss here.

Has anyone had similar experiences? What kind of goals did you come up with?

How often will you clean the kitchen?  How often will you check the stock?  How many minutes before the meetings/events will you fully have everything setup? 

You can quantify these.

[Zikoris]

Help! My employer is switching to a new performance evaluation system where everyone has to come up with goals. Like, measurable, real stuff, not fluffy bs like "be happy".

My job consists of three things: cleaning and stocking kitchens, setting up and cleaning up for meetings and events, and reception relief. I've been doing this for four years, and have no interest in advancement/promotions. I'm at a loss here.

Has anyone had similar experiences? What kind of goals did you come up with?

How often will you clean the kitchen?  How often will you check the stock?  How many minutes before the meetings/events will you fully have everything setup? 

You can quantify these.

My job already has a set schedule for all of those things - kitchens twice a day (morning and afternoon), stocking/ordering on Mondays, meetings set up 30 minutes before start time. Would it be cheating to make goals things I already do?

[Zikoris]

I think it is BS for anyone below management level to be expected to set their own performance objectives for the year.  I feel likewise for the whole self evaluation at appraisal time as well.  When I was a line manager, I never asked employees to do this. 

Having said that, you could focus the objectives around setting reasonable performance standards for your tasks...such as having the conference room set up 30 minutes before the meeting time 90% of the time.  So basically BS objectives that are in line with the level of service you already provide.  It is a good way to show management exactly what you are responsible for as well, which could be a good thing or a bad thing.

I also wouldn't worry about the fact that you have no way to measure this without self reporting.

I think you're on to something here. This seems like a good starting point.

[fattest_foot]

Take a look at this which might help and make you look: SMART

S - specific, significant, stretching

M - measurable, meaningful, motivational

A - agreed upon, attainable, achievable, acceptable, action-oriented

R - realistic, relevant, reasonable, rewarding, results-oriented

T - time-based, time-bound, timely, tangible, trackable

https://www.projectsmart.co.uk/smart-goals.php

I feel like organizations like stuff like this because it fits on Powerpoint slides really well.

It's definitely one of those things I can't wait to never do again once I FIRE.

I'm lucky in that our objectives are all template language, but I do have  a hard time actually evaluating my own performance (which I also don't understand; I think this is just laziness in management).

[sisto]

At Mega Corp. We have to do this as well as the yearly self appraisal. We also have to identify weaknesses so we have something to improve upon. I absolutely HATE it, this is definitely the worst part of my job. Now we have even started this goal setting thing where I have to come up with projects I will do each quarter. We track and measure progress. UGH, just let me do my freaking job. Sorry, rant over.

Back to the OPs original question. I think I would just go with what you are already doing and come up with some ideas for improving the process that already exists. Or maybe you can make documentation one where you create a process that someone could follow for one of the tasks should you be out sick. IDK, just trying to throw out some ideas for you.

[J Boogie]

Help! My employer is switching to a new performance evaluation system where everyone has to come up with goals. Like, measurable, real stuff, not fluffy bs like "be happy".

My job consists of three things: cleaning and stocking kitchens, setting up and cleaning up for meetings and events, and reception relief. I've been doing this for four years, and have no interest in advancement/promotions. I'm at a loss here.

Has anyone had similar experiences? What kind of goals did you come up with?

How often will you clean the kitchen?  How often will you check the stock?  How many minutes before the meetings/events will you fully have everything setup? 

You can quantify these.

My job already has a set schedule for all of those things - kitchens twice a day (morning and afternoon), stocking/ordering on Mondays, meetings set up 30 minutes before start time. Would it be cheating to make goals things I already do?

You can ensure all product labels (canned and bottled goods) uniformly face the same direction.

[Zikoris]

You can ensure all product labels (canned and bottled goods) uniformly face the same direction.

I actually do that when I'm setting up meetings, because I like the way it looks! I like to put juice bottles in a checkerboard pattern with all the labels facing the same way. A bit of residual OCD that the therapy never quite managed to kill off, I guess. At one fancy event we hosted, the photographer actually took pictures of my juice display and included it in the photo album.

[ShortInSeattle]

If you set up meeting rooms, one goal might be to develop a checklist or process that can be re-used and which will ensure that the work meets your standards.  It could include pictures of different "setups" that look good.

You could also set a goal of surveying some customers (perhaps even internal customers) a few times per year and incorporating their suggestions on how to improve.

Lastly, you could set a goal of attending a class (or even taking an online class) that fits within your career track.

SIS

[Guesl982374]

Help! My employer is switching to a new performance evaluation system where everyone has to come up with goals. Like, measurable, real stuff, not fluffy bs like "be happy".

My job consists of three things: cleaning and stocking kitchens, setting up and cleaning up for meetings and events, and reception relief. I've been doing this for four years, and have no interest in advancement/promotions. I'm at a loss here.

Has anyone had similar experiences? What kind of goals did you come up with?

How often will you clean the kitchen?  How often will you check the stock?  How many minutes before the meetings/events will you fully have everything setup? 

You can quantify these.

My job already has a set schedule for all of those things - kitchens twice a day (morning and afternoon), stocking/ordering on Mondays, meetings set up 30 minutes before start time. Would it be cheating to make goals things I already do?

No. It's actually the point.

I typically go one step farther and try to set my goals LOWER than what I think I can accomplish so I "exceed" my stated goals.

Just remember that the work goal setting process is bull shit and that, most likely, your manager really doesn't want to go through it anymore than you.

[marty998]

Help! My employer is switching to a new performance evaluation system where everyone has to come up with goals. Like, measurable, real stuff, not fluffy bs like "be happy".

My job consists of three things: cleaning and stocking kitchens, setting up and cleaning up for meetings and events, and reception relief. I've been doing this for four years, and have no interest in advancement/promotions. I'm at a loss here.

Has anyone had similar experiences? What kind of goals did you come up with?

How often will you clean the kitchen?  How often will you check the stock?  How many minutes before the meetings/events will you fully have everything setup? 

You can quantify these.

My job already has a set schedule for all of those things - kitchens twice a day (morning and afternoon), stocking/ordering on Mondays, meetings set up 30 minutes before start time. Would it be cheating to make goals things I already do?

No. It's actually the point.

I typically go one step farther and try to set my goals LOWER than what I think I can accomplish so I "exceed" my stated goals.

Just remember that the work goal setting process is bull shit and that, most likely, your manager really doesn't want to go through it anymore than you.

One of the PA's asked me for help in filling out the "productivity" section of her review. I asked her how many general managers she is 'responsible for' (managing their diaries, email, office functions, staff briefings etc etc).

"two"

and how many GMs did you have last year?

"one"

"There you go, you doubled your productivity in the space of a year."

[Schaefer Light]

Help! My employer is switching to a new performance evaluation system where everyone has to come up with goals. Like, measurable, real stuff, not fluffy bs like "be happy".

My job consists of three things: cleaning and stocking kitchens, setting up and cleaning up for meetings and events, and reception relief. I've been doing this for four years, and have no interest in advancement/promotions. I'm at a loss here.

Has anyone had similar experiences? What kind of goals did you come up with?

How often will you clean the kitchen?  How often will you check the stock?  How many minutes before the meetings/events will you fully have everything setup? 

You can quantify these.

My job already has a set schedule for all of those things - kitchens twice a day (morning and afternoon), stocking/ordering on Mondays, meetings set up 30 minutes before start time. Would it be cheating to make goals things I already do?

No. It's actually the point.

I typically go one step farther and try to set my goals LOWER than what I think I can accomplish so I "exceed" my stated goals.

Just remember that the work goal setting process is bull shit and that, most likely, your manager really doesn't want to go through it anymore than you.

That's for damn sure.  I'm a manager, and this is probably the most unproductive aspect of my job.

[Playing with Fire UK]

I'd suggest putting in a stretch goal that you can blag. For example, I will ensure room set ups are consistently to a high standard and measure the positive feedback I receive by the end of the year. Then get someone you get along with to send you some positive feedback emails.

When trawling for bullshit to sprinkle on my goals I'll sometimes look at the current missions and goals of my organisation and then look at how I can tenuously link stuff that I want to do or will do anyway to these bullshit mission statements. Want to spend time at other offices: I will liase with other departments to share and learn about best practice; this aligns with MegaCorp's aim of promoting Excellence Everywhere.

[ender]

Help! My employer is switching to a new performance evaluation system where everyone has to come up with goals. Like, measurable, real stuff, not fluffy bs like "be happy".

My job consists of three things: cleaning and stocking kitchens, setting up and cleaning up for meetings and events, and reception relief. I've been doing this for four years, and have no interest in advancement/promotions. I'm at a loss here.

Has anyone had similar experiences? What kind of goals did you come up with?

How often will you clean the kitchen?  How often will you check the stock?  How many minutes before the meetings/events will you fully have everything setup? 

You can quantify these.

My job already has a set schedule for all of those things - kitchens twice a day (morning and afternoon), stocking/ordering on Mondays, meetings set up 30 minutes before start time. Would it be cheating to make goals things I already do?

No. It's actually the point.

I typically go one step farther and try to set my goals LOWER than what I think I can accomplish so I "exceed" my stated goals.

Just remember that the work goal setting process is bull shit and that, most likely, your manager really doesn't want to go through it anymore than you.

+1

Nearly every manager I have ever had felt this way.

[Guesl982374]

Help! My employer is switching to a new performance evaluation system where everyone has to come up with goals. Like, measurable, real stuff, not fluffy bs like "be happy".

My job consists of three things: cleaning and stocking kitchens, setting up and cleaning up for meetings and events, and reception relief. I've been doing this for four years, and have no interest in advancement/promotions. I'm at a loss here.

Has anyone had similar experiences? What kind of goals did you come up with?

How often will you clean the kitchen?  How often will you check the stock?  How many minutes before the meetings/events will you fully have everything setup? 

You can quantify these.

My job already has a set schedule for all of those things - kitchens twice a day (morning and afternoon), stocking/ordering on Mondays, meetings set up 30 minutes before start time. Would it be cheating to make goals things I already do?

No. It's actually the point.

I typically go one step farther and try to set my goals LOWER than what I think I can accomplish so I "exceed" my stated goals.

Just remember that the work goal setting process is bull shit and that, most likely, your manager really doesn't want to go through it anymore than you.

+1

Nearly every manager I have ever had felt this way.

Yup. Most just want to 'check the box' so they don't stick out/get berated for not doing it.

During my very first job, my responsibilities drastically changed during the year, to the point where even though it was the same position, none of the 'goals' were even remotely close to the original set. My manager and I completely wrote a new set of goals, approved the goals, then rated me against those 'goals' within 2 days of the corporation deadline. Ha. It was a real eye opener for a 22 year old.

[mlejw6]

.... My manager and I completely wrote a new set of goals, approved the goals, then rated me against those 'goals' within 2 days of the corporation deadline. Ha. It was a real eye opener for a 22 year old.

That's pretty much what we did every year. Nobody really cares. That is, every year until THIS year, where management somewhere decided to do QUARTERLY reviews. Now we get this fun four times as much!

[Trimatty471]

I think it is BS for anyone below management level to be expected to set their own performance objectives for the year.  I feel likewise for the whole self evaluation at appraisal time as well.  When I was a line manager, I never asked employees to do this. 

Having said that, you could focus the objectives around setting reasonable performance standards for your tasks...such as having the conference room set up 30 minutes before the meeting time 90% of the time.  So basically BS objectives that are in line with the level of service you already provide.  It is a good way to show management exactly what you are responsible for as well, which could be a good thing or a bad thing.

I also wouldn't worry about the fact that you have no way to measure this without self reporting.

I agree.  Management should set the goals.  This year I opted to learn another department's job. This actually helps me to understand the whole manufacturing process.  My boss and my coworker decided to make it a goal for our whole department.  WTF!!!

Anyway setting goals is a huge waste of time for our company because their is no rewards.  You do not get a big raise.  You don't get a promotions.

[esq]

 trawling for bullshit to sprinkle on my goals

This just made my day. 

My supervisor is a great Trawler of Bullshit, and, in turn, I've had a great teacher, and have learned to sprinkle that shit everywhere.

ETA:  I had to come back on and add I'm crying here I'm laughing so hard at the visual of an actual trawler.  My supervisor is in a district meeting with, among others, our very long-winded superintendent. I'm going to text her that I hope she's enjoying the meeting with The Great Sprinkler of Bullshit.  But I'm going to wait until lunch - I'm not that mean.  She'll laugh as hard as I am now.

Thanks for the laugh PWFUK! :D

[Playing with Fire UK]

 trawling for bullshit to sprinkle on my goals

This just made my day. 

My supervisor is a great Trawler of Bullshit, and, in turn, I've had a great teacher, and have learned to sprinkle that shit everywhere.

ETA:  I had to come back on and add I'm crying here I'm laughing so hard at the visual of an actual trawler.  My supervisor is in a district meeting with, among others, our very long-winded superintendent. I'm going to text her that I hope she's enjoying the meeting with The Great Sprinkler of Bullshit.  But I'm going to wait until lunch - I'm not that mean.  She'll laugh as hard as I am now.

Thanks for the laugh PWFUK! :D

You are most welcome!

[patchyfacialhair]

I just restate my job description and form those objectives into "goals." Add one or two "extra credit" items that you know you can achieve and you won't struggle to meet your goals.

[uppy]

I'll just chime in and say I friggin' hate these goal-setting sessions with my supervisor. We're a non-profit, and it amounts to regurgitating the stated mission of the organization "in your own words" and pretending that these are your personal, innermost goals to which you've decided to aspire. I think they just like having their egos stroked, like, "Oh our mission is so good all our employees' personal goals align with it perfectly." And it's a way for them to track and weed out people who aren't willing to cook up and eat the bullshit sprinkles. Those people aren't team players.

The goal-setting is especially infuriating if you know you already do a stellar job, like it seems like you do.

That said, regurgitating the stated mission is a great way to make your supervisor (and his supervisors) happy.

[Blindsquirrel]

   My Goals for the year.
 Collect 24 pay checks.
Stretch goal= get a bonus.

Everything else is just fluff.
 :)

[lukebuz]

Am I the only one who LIKES SMART goals?  I mean, I set goals for myself (personal, non-work goals) and I always think SMART.  Loose 20 lbs by July 1st.  Not "Lose Weight".  Read the New Testament of the Bible by Dec 31st.  Cut Caffiene usage to <200 MG/day by March 1st.  Bench Press 100% my weight by so and so...

Really.  I do.  Maybe i'm too type A?

[Grogounet]

I'm not sure if you have many employees in your company but if not too many, I would gather ideas with them.
If you set up your goals too little, you'll be categorized as lazy.
If too high, everyone else will blame you.

Get all of yours in a room and set your all goals together.

[Playing with Fire UK]

Am I the only one who LIKES SMART goals?  I mean, I set goals for myself (personal, non-work goals) and I always think SMART.  Loose 20 lbs by July 1st.  Not "Lose Weight".  Read the New Testament of the Bible by Dec 31st.  Cut Caffiene usage to <200 MG/day by March 1st.  Bench Press 100% my weight by so and so...

Really.  I do.  Maybe i'm too type A?

Take the red pill; it is exhausting looking at your words.

Seriously, for your personal life, do what you want. For your work life, your company asks you to set goals so that they can get more work out of you for the same money,  or so that they can report to their boss that everyone is engaged and setting great goals. My aim in setting goals is to expend the least effort into a futile task and give them the least opportunity to say that I have not met my goals and sack me.

If you genuinely believe in smart goals (I cannot bring myself to capitalise something so vacuous), answer me this. How is it possible that these goals are truly  Agreed, when my work is forcing me to set them? My actual goals for the year: get paid, don't get fired, leave on time as often as possible.

[Grogounet]

I d rather be setting up my own goals than my employer... that's for sure.

And I fully agree with the previous comment. If you don't set goals in accordance to your priorities in life, then, I'm not even sure you get get your self accountable.
It's like hoping to get FI, without knowing how much you earn and your savings rate.

[Rural]

Goals should always be written in such a way as to prioritize the things you've already gotten done.

[gliderpilot567]

I just did a performance review with my boss. We had to fill out a form that asked very similar things to document the review. My boss told me to write "Discussed" in each such space on the form, then we shot the shit for 20 minutes.

[spicykissa]

I just pick stuff I'm already doing or know I will be doing--attend a conference, orient a new employee, finish rolling out "x" project.   I'm a bedside nurse, so this sort of stuff is not at all my day to day work. There's the actual work, and then there's the evaluation/CV fluffing stuff.

I do like the SMART goals philosophy in general, though, and use it in my personal life.

[DailyGrindFree]

I go through these evaluations every year. Goals are copied from the previous year with slight changes. Doesn't really have much value. But it has to be done. Total waste of time IMO.

[MM_MG]

First, make it a game to use as many corporate "buzzword bingo" words that you can (i.e. synergies, results-driven, best practices, value-added etc.).  Second, grab any company goals or manager goals you can find and overlay the buzzwords on top. Third, be as vague and unmeasurable as possible.

For example: I will help streamline the collaborative workflow process for my working group in order to help facilitate the goal of maximizing and increasing the value of the product for our customers. 

[startingsmall]

I'm on-board with the SMART goals idea in general, but the worst idea is that our goals have to be further broken down into subgoals...  70% 'learn by doing' ("I will do the impressive crap"), 20% learn from others ("I will spend more time with this impressive-crap expert in my department and attempt to mimic her awesome impressive-crap skills") and 10% learning event ("I will read How To Do The Impressive Crap by Impressive Crapper, PhD"). It's ridiculous.  Glad to know that I'm not the only one who has to suffer through this every quarter.

[Goldielocks]

Help! My employer is switching to a new performance evaluation system where everyone has to come up with goals. Like, measurable, real stuff, not fluffy bs like "be happy".

My job consists of three things: cleaning and stocking kitchens, setting up and cleaning up for meetings and events, and reception relief. I've been doing this for four years, and have no interest in advancement/promotions. I'm at a loss here.

Has anyone had similar experiences? What kind of goals did you come up with?

On time room setup 19 out of 20 times; by Dec 2016.

Development of an improved room booking chart to prevent confusion about assignment, eg a posted page at the door by March 2017, that has been approved by X.

Reorganization of kitchen supplies in all 5 kitchens by June 2017,

Review of supplies wasted and recommendation made as to improved target stocking levels by date, sent to mr so and so.

Plan an event with decorations for xx event ( community volunteer day). To improve employee morale.

Just a few, find a little thing you want to do, and write it up as a goal, with an end date.

Heck, could even be ' put up list of frugal lunch ideas for bagged lunches as a help for employees'. 

[Goldielocks]

   My Goals for the year.
 Collect 24 pay checks.
Stretch goal= get a bonus.

Everything else is just fluff.
 :)

Lol, I actually wrote down " return from mat leave by DATE" one year as a goal.

[uppy]

First, make it a game to use as many corporate "buzzword bingo" words that you can (i.e. synergies, results-driven, best practices, value-added etc.).  Second, grab any company goals or manager goals you can find and overlay the buzzwords on top. Third, be as vague and unmeasurable as possible.

For example: I will help streamline the collaborative workflow process for my working group in order to help facilitate the goal of maximizing and increasing the value of the product for our customers.

Ha ha, this cracked me up. It's totally what they're looking for though. We have PR guys from HQ calling our office talking about "I want to really leverage the real-time actualities of the event on social media and synergize efforts with the program quality team to best realize opportunities for exposure."

So, you want to post on Facebook and get some likes. Cool.

[Duchess of Stratosphear]

We recently had to do this too. My strategy is to list as goals stuff I am sort of already doing anyway but that maybe aren't specifically in our job description, so my goals look innovative (and really, they kind of are, so it's not total fluff). But since I'm already engaged in these things, it won't disrupt my life over the next year to make them happen.

[Le Poisson]

I have little that will help, but when I have to do these what is echoing in the back of my head is "My goal is to quit this effing job in 5 years."

Specific? Yup.
Measurable? Yup.
Agreed Upon? Nope.
Realistic? Yup.
Time Based? Yup.

I doubt they would go for it.

In my last evaluation, my supervisor felt a need to be involved so added an "And statement" to each of my goals after our meeting. My goal changed from "arrive on time" to "arrive on time and be wearing pants." By doing this he doubled the measurables on my next evaluation, which totally pissed me off. I tried to refuse signing the evaluation, and that didn't go well. Its created a lot of friction - exactly what you want out of an annual evaluation.

These things only serve to reinforce the real reason I come to work. It is so that one day I can stop coming to work.