How did you redefine Happiness??

[halseyskates33]

I have been on a journey to rework my definition of what actually makes me happy. I am healthy, have a great family, and supportive friends. Love my job (fingers crossed it goes perm) and yet that didn't make me happy for so long.

UNTIL, I actually sat back and started to write down what I really did love about my life. It wasn't the designer clothes or the delivery I was waiting for, it is the relationships and peace in my life.

I am wondering when did you redefine happiness, what is it to you and how do you sustain it with our consumer driven culture??

[undercover]

In general, yes, health and relationships are the two things that make people the happiest. Past that, success/fulfillment in career would be the next step. I think there are plenty of things that money can buy once you've reached that point to enhance life for you and those around you - a nice home, good food, trips and activities, etc.

[arebelspy]

I'm not sure I ever had an original definition to redefine from, and I'm not sure I have one now.  :)

But following.

[clarkai]

In college, I ran in to a few article and studies about happiness, and what makes people happy. These formed the basis for my understanding of happiness, and before I read those I already knew that I had no interest in the things society says make you happy (beer, big tvs, etc). From what I recall, the keys to happiness (as far as we know) are relationships, meaningful work (paid or not), autonomy, and leisure time. Makes good sense to me.

[EnjoyIt]

I believe that good relationships, health, and good/healthy food are the cornerstone to happiness.  But what else?  There is definitely more to life than to sit around lounging with your friends and family eating a fruit salad after a good workout.  Although very fun, even that will get old and boring.  We need some variety in our lives to make us happy as well.  We also need to have goals and aspirations.  Without them we get stagnant and lazy.

Although many here believe that having plenty of leisure time will equal happiness, I don't believe that is fully true.  Although I have plenty of projects and things to do to keep me occupied at home, going to work stabilizes my schedule and keeps me focused.  Plus the work I do is fun as long as it is not every day.  Not to mention socializing at work is also fun and makes me happy. 

To answer your question, and to be completely honest, I am still working on my definition.

Although there are still some aspects of my life I can improve on, I am happy to say that my life is filled with happiness. 

[gooki]

I used the Happier app for a month to change my mindset.  Now I tell my kids what made me happy today every night before bed. 

[tooqk4u22]

......the keys to happiness (as far as we know) are relationships, meaningful work (paid or not), autonomy, and leisure time. Makes good sense to me.

This makes sense to me....for me the problem has been that the work and autonomy have always been at extreme odds with one another with work winning out by long shot, and prior to having FU money that conflict bled into leisure time. That and I haven't ever really felt my work was all that meaningful other than trading time for $.  For me autonomy is what has been missing and I am hopeful that when I can control my time that it will make a big difference.

So then I think about FIRE and I will have a bunch of autonomy but not the meaningful work, but I am concerned that if I find work then I will lose autonomy. 

[HAPPYINAZ]

I used the Happier app for a month to change my mindset.  Now I tell my kids what made me happy today every night before bed.

That's great!  That will teach them how to be grateful for what they have too! 

[clarkai]

......the keys to happiness (as far as we know) are relationships, meaningful work (paid or not), autonomy, and leisure time. Makes good sense to me.

This makes sense to me....for me the problem has been that the work and autonomy have always been at extreme odds with one another with work winning out by long shot, and prior to having FU money that conflict bled into leisure time. That and I haven't ever really felt my work was all that meaningful other than trading time for $.  For me autonomy is what has been missing and I am hopeful that when I can control my time that it will make a big difference.

So then I think about FIRE and I will have a bunch of autonomy but not the meaningful work, but I am concerned that if I find work then I will lose autonomy.

I probably should have expounded on that a bit; meaningful work doesn't have to mean a job; examples I've seen are caring for a garden, helping/caring for friends and relatives, volunteering for a cause you believe in, etc. It's work that has meaning for you, and it usually has some component of helping others/the world. Some people can find that through their jobs/careers, but I think many people find it outside of their paid work.

Once you're FIRE'd you can use your time and autonomy to figure out what would be meaningful work for you. How can you help others/create meaning? And then do it.

[robartsd]

From what I recall, the keys to happiness (as far as we know) are relationships, meaningful work (paid or not), autonomy, and leisure time. Makes good sense to me.

I agree that relationships, meaningful work, and autonomy contribute to happiness. I think the happiness we get from autonomy is often credited to leisure time when we choose to take some, leading many to overestimate how important leisure time is to happiness.

[Fastfwd]

It's an ongoing process.


I realized a few years ago how much I liked road trips but that means having the money and time to do those and the people to share them with. I am separated from my ex one year now and realized that I invested a lot in my relationship with her and lost all of that. I am rebuilding my friend's network now. It's strange how being single you don't get invited to a lot of dinners among couples.


Money is just as important as it once was but now it's about having enough and retiring early instead of having luxuries.


For me this is happiness. Having enough, being free from work and able to share that time with friends. I get a glimpse of it on some weekends and I hope it becomes my everyday life eventually.

[BallerOnABudget]

Former lurker here. I decided to post because this is something I'm currently working on in my own life. I realized that my happiness was far too dependent on my job/career. If work was rough, I felt unhappy in general, not just for those 8-10 hours. After wandering around the internet for a while I stumbled upon MMM and the concept of financial independence. It struck a chord immediately. It helped me realize that employment is a means to an end and a tool for achieving autonomy over your own life. My job is not my life. It's not as easy to internalize as it is to say, but it's a start. Basically for me, happiness is the degree to which I truly have control over my time and energy, and spending both on activities and people that I love. So my goal now is to be more mindful of the relationship between time, energy, and money and the values of each.

[clarkfan1979]

In college, I ran in to a few article and studies about happiness, and what makes people happy. These formed the basis for my understanding of happiness, and before I read those I already knew that I had no interest in the things society says make you happy (beer, big tvs, etc). From what I recall, the keys to happiness (as far as we know) are relationships, meaningful work (paid or not), autonomy, and leisure time. Makes good sense to me.

+1

[Aussiegirl]

I read an article a few years ago that said the key to happiness was meaningful relationships.   That really changed my focus more from my job (which made me unhappy when it wasn't going well, happy when it was) to the people in my life.   I now tell myself regularly that I am blessed to have such a wonderful family and group of friends.   

[ariapluscat]

I feel happiest when I have a goal and can sense that I'm making progress on it and can talk to others who are also working on their own goals.

[Rubic]

I'm not sure if I've redefined it, but I've been encountering terminology that
better expresses my thoughts.  Originally, I would have stated the path to
happiness would be to "behave honorably", and I still believe that is correct. 
Along similar lines, in Adam Smith's "Theory of Moral Sentiments", it is
not enough to be loved, but to be a lovely person -- i.e. worthy of being loved.

The Stoics replace the term 'happiness' with eudaimonia, and argue
that only moral virtue and wisdom are necessary, which may be an ideal too
difficult for most of us to attain to "live in accord with nature".

I've been impressed with Adam's Smith's 18th century knowledge of Stoicism
and implicit critique of it in his book.  To the extent that he builds on that basis
is his insistence in behaving with "propriety", which I don't think the Stoics were
interested in.

It might be debated that moral virtue may not make automatically make you
a happy person, but all paths to happiness appear to require virtue as a
prerequisite.

[clarkai]

From what I recall, the keys to happiness (as far as we know) are relationships, meaningful work (paid or not), autonomy, and leisure time. Makes good sense to me.

I agree that relationships, meaningful work, and autonomy contribute to happiness. I think the happiness we get from autonomy is often credited to leisure time when we choose to take some, leading many to overestimate how important leisure time is to happiness.

Yes, and I think that how people define leisure time is also part of the problem. Feeling that we are in control of our lives is hugely important, which is what I understand the autonomy bit to be about. I personally don't like it if I have too much unstructured free time; I need projects to do or people to help, or I just feel like it's wasted time. I hate it when I spend even an hour watching tv, I don't like going to the movies, and so on. So what I generally end up doing is scheduling time with friends and family, and volunteering a lot, along with "work" that's meaningful to me- like foraging for fruits to preserve and eat in the winter or making really tasty food.