Author Topic: Holiday season and gifts  (Read 10287 times)

Calvawt

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Holiday season and gifts
« on: October 18, 2014, 02:23:09 PM »
What do you plan on spending for gifts around the Christmas season?  What about meals and parties?  It all seems to add up!  We have expensive plane tickets to buy as well so that our kids can see the rest of my family. 

I should add that we plan on buying a few gifts for our 2 small kids, but they will most likely be something usable like clothes.  They do get gifts from others (too many toys).  We also plan on buying gifts for my 4 nieces and nephews, but keep them to about $25 each.  We no longer really trade gifts with any adults, with a few exceptions.
« Last Edit: October 18, 2014, 03:14:22 PM by vawt »

NinetyFour

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2014, 03:08:38 PM »
Zero.

tracylayton

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2014, 04:02:36 PM »
$150. My family decided a few years back that buying for each other (siblings, parents) was something we all wanted to give up, and that we would just buy for the nieces and nephews. Last year we decided that rather than buy for ALL of the nieces and nephews, the kids would each draw one name and buy one nice gift (under $50) for that person. I have 2 adult children (21 and 28), so they won't be in the drawing. My 13 year old will be in the drawing, so I'll be buying one $50 gift for whoever's name he draws. I plan to use my credit card miles to give my 2 adult children each a $100 gift card, which won't cost me anything. I will let the 13 year old pick out something in the $100 price range, and that's it. So, I will be spending $150. It makes the holidays so much less stressful and more enjoyable doing it this way. My whole family will get together on Christmas Day and each bring a couple of home made dishes, and we will just enjoy being together!

parsimonious

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2014, 04:13:03 PM »
We don't celebrate Christmas. Not religious and never got in the habit of buying each other gifts. I used to think of myself as a crazy Scrooge till I found this website.

I always volunteer to work (hospitals are open 24/7) since it is time and a half, pretty slow and we get a free meal.

That way a coworker gets to spend time with their families, and I get paid a lot of money to read a book.

lizzzi

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2014, 05:30:52 PM »
I expect to spend $50 on gifts (total) for family I will actually be with for the holiday. I will buy three poinsettias to decorate the house, and that will be it. No parties or entertaining is planned, but of course if a neighbor or an out-of-town relative stops in, there will be a cup of tea (or something stronger) and a Christmas cookie or two.  : D

socaso

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2014, 07:18:52 PM »
I'm estimating about $400 total. Mostly on gifts for kids, our son and my niece, some stocking stuffers for us and gifts for my MIL. I always like to make a fuss over my MIL because she lives alone and I fear if we don't spoil her a bit no one will. She's a very modest person, though, and spoiling her is usually getting her a nice new pair of slippers, a movie she hasn't seen and some sundry items.

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2014, 07:30:03 PM »
Christmas giving is a BIG deal for my husband.  He will put up with, sometimes help with my frugality, but I learned not to push too hard about spending limits at Christmas.

We have allowances each, so he uses that to increase his limit, then I don't ask when I know he goes over what he says (but its not too much for us).

Calvawt

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2014, 08:39:04 PM »
I like the idea of drawing to limit the gifts.  Now, how do i subtlety suggest that?

tracylayton

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2014, 07:15:08 AM »
It was easy for me to suggest, because both of my sisters were on a tight budget...they literally jumped at the chance. Maybe, just say that you have an acquaintance whose family draw names and it's worked out really well...would anyone be interested in trying it this Christmas? Thanksgiving is a good time to suggest it.

Villanelle

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2014, 07:26:37 AM »
This year, DH and I will be in the States and with family for Christmas for the first time in a number of years, and for the second to last time in another number of years.  So it will be a bigger deal than normal.  I'll probably spend no more than $175 on gifts, plus about $1800 on plane tickets, though my parents are paying for $1000 of that as a gift to themselves to have us home.

That doesn't include DH and my gifts to each other, though generally our gifts are things we'd have bought anyway, but wrapping them up and opening them at Christmas feels festive and fun.

MrsPete

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #10 on: October 20, 2014, 05:11:56 PM »
Zero.
Boo.  What's life without some celebrations? 
I like the idea of drawing to limit the gifts.  Now, how do i subtlety suggest that?
Just say it at Thanksgiving.  You'll probably be pleasantly surprised!  I'm one of five children, and now that we're adults with our own families . . . well, we're big.  We used to draw names . . . but now we each bring a generic gift.  The benefits aren't only about money -- the lack of pressure to buy for EVERYONE is great. 

horsepoor

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #11 on: October 21, 2014, 09:10:08 AM »
My husband will probably spend $200-300 on gifts for his side of the family.  I'll spend $0 on mine. 

If they have the little rosemary Christmas "tree" topiaries this year, I might splurge on one, plus $50 or so for some fancy foods and booze.  Yeah, maybe a poinsettia and an extra buck or two for electricity if I decide to string up some lights.


alwayslearning

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #12 on: October 21, 2014, 09:37:51 AM »
Christmas giving is a BIG deal for my husband.  He will put up with, sometimes help with my frugality, but I learned not to push too hard about spending limits at Christmas.

We have allowances each, so he uses that to increase his limit, then I don't ask when I know he goes over what he says (but its not too much for us).

My husband also loves Christmas giving (although we are both super mustachian the other 364 days of the year). It is a big tradition in his family (that's their "love language", if you will). My family, on the other hand, likes simple gifts such as family dinners, socks, books, music, etc. After our 1st Christmas together, I realized just how differently each of our families viewed Christmas.

As a Christmas giving compromise, we opened a side savings account for gifts. We put a little bit each paycheck in the account and forget about it until Christmas. (Honestly, we are always surprised by the amount saved each year!) When shopping season comes around, I take a small portion for my family (usually $50-$100) and we use the rest on his family. That way I don't stress about how much money we are spending on the family and he doesn't feel restricted to my Christmas budget. We sometimes use this for birthday and graduation gifts, too. It keeps things simple for us. Whatever money is leftover (usually a good amount) is added to the next year's gift giving.

ivyhedge

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #13 on: October 21, 2014, 10:50:53 AM »
We love to give. And with 1/2 of our family abroad, it's not inexpensive. We buy what we wish, especially when we know there's something special that someone wants! I didn't spend so liberally 15 years ago before amassing significant assets, but you asked about current plans so...

Meggslynn

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #14 on: October 21, 2014, 12:06:56 PM »
We probably spend about $1500. This is usually how it breaks down:

$500 > Charity of Choice (we give all year but make a lump sum donation this time of year on top)
$750 > Gifts. Hubs and I usually buy stuff for each other that we need for the house. We already bought this years present to one another as a   $400 massive gorgeous LLBEAN rug that needed for the front room that we will never have to replace. Our kid and nieces and nephews tend to get experiences like movie tickets, canoe trip vouchers, "educational" magazine subscription, etc.
$250 > This is food and booze. I LOVE to bake and I have a tradition of baking up about five different things and packing them up with a homemade Christmas tree ornament and a couple days before Christmas we bring them to most of our friends and family that are within an hour radius.

I never feel bad about our Christmas spending considering we have no debt and substantial savings, especially when I know most of the families that I work with are spending $500 - $1000 per kid and have two cars financed and credit card debt as well.
We have been extremely blessed in our lives so I like to pass it on.
« Last Edit: October 21, 2014, 12:15:57 PM by Meggslynn »

LibrarIan

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #15 on: October 21, 2014, 12:12:12 PM »
Not sure of the exact amount, but I'll be spending less this year. My wife's side of the family is one of those groups that love to buy lots of stuff for each other, but we put a lid on that this year since my wife is not working while in grad school, her mom just had a bunch of surgery and my sister-in-law is also back in school. No one has the money to throw around anymore. It's sad that only when these people literally have no extra money do they decide to go easy on the spending.

Thegoblinchief

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #16 on: October 21, 2014, 12:23:12 PM »
We're taking the kids to my in-laws for the first time. It will take a minimum if $500 in gas and tolls just to get there and back. I'm going to set $1,000 aside because we will be there for 3 weeks and will help do cooking and stuff.

We plan to spend very little on actual gifts. Probably under $100. Mostly canned goods and other custom cooking items.

GardenFun

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #17 on: October 21, 2014, 12:31:24 PM »
2012: $980
2013: $600
2014: $360 (goal)

Items purchased are special food (prime rib), gifts for 2 kids, 5 nieces/nephews, 2 grandparents, church needs tree. 

It's a major change for my side of the family - Wish me luck! 

KiwiMust

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #18 on: October 21, 2014, 12:35:29 PM »
Someone in my family last year suggested a secret Santa, but you had to make the gift yourself, a huge range of gifts came out of it, leather handbag for me (I actually thought someone had cheated, it was amazing), BBQ ribs seasoning and sauce, fudge, a wind chime, I was very impressed with the talent that came out!
The kids are still bought gifts, but I decided several years ago to put the money I would spend on gifts for them for birthday and Christmas into an account (I put the total in at the beginning, as I was feeling particularly wealthy at the time), for their 21st birthdays I plan to give them the money (plus compound interest, and possibly a lesson on compound interest), hopefully this will be appreciated and be used on something useful, or saved further. This also saves me the time of searching for something they would like twice a year!
They possibly see me as the cheap aunty, but honestly, they don't seem to even notice the lack of gifts from me. I saw my sister in the weekend, her daughter recently had her sixth birthday and apparently asked what I gave her when she heard I was coming, my sister said I wrote something on Facebook, and she was thrilled with that.
I do like making Christmas treats, so will do some for workmates and friends, mostly I have the ingredients already.

MayDay

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #19 on: October 21, 2014, 02:25:48 PM »
About five years ago, both my family moved towards a round robin with a specific theme and small limit (examples have been coffee/tea, book exchange, and 10$ gift card exchange.)  we did the whole stealing presents thing so it was a fun family memory.  All were super fun, cheap, and low stress.  So that is easy. 

At about the same time the in laws, who had been doing a gift exchange, which had devolved into exchanging 20$ gift cards, finally cancelled their exchange. 

So we spend blissfully less on gifts, but still a kind of ridiculous amount when I total it up. 

$100 on teacher gifts*
$75 for H and I (often a combined household purchase)
$150 for the kids probably, with Santa and stockings included
$50 in laws (would love to eliminate that as they are grown ass adults who don't appreciate stuff, but H feels strongly)
$25 niece (though often less as I bargain hunt)
$100-200 extra groceries
$100 misc like Christmas tree, and other thighs I am probably forgetting. 

So 600$. 

*before anyone calls me crazy for the teacher gifts, between two kids we have 2 main teachers, an aide, a speech therapist, occupational therapist, physical therapist, 3 bus drivers, art, music, and gym teachers.  My older child has special needs and can be a real pain in the rear at times, and it like to thank the teachers for all the extra time they give him.  So 12 teachers.  I am going to actively try to reduce this spending this year, by giving home canned goods, but those do have a cost too.   

minimustache1985

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #20 on: October 21, 2014, 03:01:06 PM »
I'll fess up here: Almost 2k when all is said and done (yeah, really.  I know, I know, facepunch).

Without taking much time off work, it easily costs $1000 for H and I to fly back for the holidays, and spending some time with H's aging grandmother and my 1 year old niece is worth traveling for.

We also spend about $750 on gifts between each other, our parents, siblings, sibling partners, niece, and an adopt-a-family church program.  Could we tone that down?  Of course, like anything else it IS a choice, but being generous at the holidays isn't something I have ever regretted.

GardenFun

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #21 on: October 21, 2014, 03:15:36 PM »
$100 on teacher gifts*

*before anyone calls me crazy for the teacher gifts, between two kids we have 2 main teachers, an aide, a speech therapist, occupational therapist, physical therapist, 3 bus drivers, art, music, and gym teachers.  My older child has special needs and can be a real pain in the rear at times, and it like to thank the teachers for all the extra time they give him.  So 12 teachers.  I am going to actively try to reduce this spending this year, by giving home canned goods, but those do have a cost too.

Same here - two kids with autism issues at two different schools.  We did homemade treats last year (shortbread cookies, peanut brittle, almond crocantte, pecan and orange biscotti).  Bought the fancy cellophane bags at Michael's and made everyone awesome-looking treats for roughly $25. 

Secret is to find food you can make a week or two ahead (brittles, biscotti, cookies that freeze well, etc.). 

cavewoman

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #22 on: October 21, 2014, 03:30:09 PM »
As someone who has worked with kids with special needs - your thoughtfulness is appreciated!  Doesn't need to be much, but (at least for me) this was one area where I felt like the thought was really what counted.  The hand written notes really meant the most.

galliver

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #23 on: October 21, 2014, 03:49:17 PM »
I love holiday gift-giving, but I express that with (hopefully) thoughtful/fun gifts for select people, rather than expensive ones. I try to stay within $20-30 for 11 key people (2 best friends, boyfriend, bf's family (3), my family (4), and sister's bf of...5 years? who is basically family now.) I've also been doing small treats for coworkers, my advisor, and department admin ladies the past few years, like cookies, discount mugs with some teabags, etc. Brings smiles to their faces and shows my appreciation for what they do. :)

Bulk of holiday spending tends to be travel-related :( Tickets look around $500-600pp right now, hoping to see them go down within the next few weeks. We also try to pick up some groceries or make special food, and pay for gas if someone drives us around or lends us a car while we visit.

So I guess the total looks like $1000-1200. No regrets.

surfhb

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #24 on: October 21, 2014, 04:11:19 PM »
We pick names out of a hat and limit it to $40   It's fun too since no one knows who will being getting a gift from.   

It's funny as hell some of the things we gift each other.   My uncle is super Republican conservative but swears he's "independent" so I bought him a Curtis Lemay coffee mug and a couple Douglas/Lemay campaign buttons off EBay ....he loved it :)

http://www.zazzle.com/general_curtis_lemay_coffee_mug-168809698689446722
« Last Edit: October 21, 2014, 04:15:33 PM by surfhb »

Stellar

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #25 on: October 22, 2014, 07:48:38 AM »
My SO is pretty inventive and creative when it comes to gift giving - his gifts are never over $20.  He said I need to chill out on the crazy this year so I will.  My big thing is that I love to buy cool stuff for the kids.  I think I'll just take a deep breath and let him handle it :)

The adults do a white elephant type thing... we are limited to $40 (same as surfhb mentioned).  My mother loathes Obama - so a couple of years ago, my SO found Obama dolls for like $5 at 99c Only --- that was her gag gift. :)

Handlebar Harry

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #26 on: October 23, 2014, 07:05:29 AM »
It was easy for me to suggest, because both of my sisters were on a tight budget...they literally jumped at the chance. Maybe, just say that you have an acquaintance whose family draw names and it's worked out really well...would anyone be interested in trying it this Christmas? Thanksgiving is a good time to suggest it.

A few years back my family decided to do this. We all draw names at Thanksgiving and have a $100 limit. It takes the stress right out of the holidays and allows us to focus on enjoying each others company!

partgypsy

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #27 on: October 23, 2014, 10:48:31 AM »
We always spend a lot. Looking back it was 2010 $1054, 2011 over $2k (a year with a secret santas family and 2 giving trees involved, 2012 $1K, 2013 $1187.  The way it works now, we (I) give well to my parents in law, my mother and my sister, and moderate gifts for 8 children, 4 token (25 or less) to other adults, and also small/homemade or food gifts for teachers and co-workers (friends). But yeah basically the various adults do not give to each other anymore, which eliminates another 7 pple in immediate family.
Even when being modest, it just adds up. The totals does include food for entertaining/dinner, but does include food gifts and tree/wreath/decorations. Knowing that I enjoy and don't want to cut this out, I have squirreled away $400. It won't totally defray costs, but at least soften the blow. I am also considering putting a number of gift cards on a cc, which I can either buy with points and/or earn points for, which will slightly defray costs.

« Last Edit: October 23, 2014, 10:51:21 AM by partgypsy »

Seņora Savings

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #28 on: October 23, 2014, 12:40:52 PM »
4 token (25 or less)

Wow!  A token gift from me is $5.

My family decided not to give gifts this year.  Not sure how that will go, but I'm planning to give a can of green chile and some books I picked up used ($4 total each + canning time) to my sibs and an embroidered picture of their dog to my parents.  It may not bode well that I'm planning to cheat.  I'll get something for my partner as well... either a food dehydrator or a board game ($20-$60).

OSUBearCub

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #29 on: October 24, 2014, 02:37:23 PM »
It was easy for me to suggest, because both of my sisters were on a tight budget...they literally jumped at the chance. Maybe, just say that you have an acquaintance whose family draw names and it's worked out really well...would anyone be interested in trying it this Christmas? Thanksgiving is a good time to suggest it.

A few years back my family decided to do this. We all draw names at Thanksgiving and have a $100 limit. It takes the stress right out of the holidays and allows us to focus on enjoying each others company!

We do the same thing for the adults in the family with a $50 limit.  The drawing is deeply ceremonial, top top top secret, and must proceed hanging the wishbone to dry on it's designated hook.  It's all very illuminati lol

We do gifts on 3 nights - Festivus for Mom's side of the family, Christmas Eve for Dad's, and Christmas day for our immediate branch - parents, my sisters, and their kids.  An exchange across family pods is done for Festivus and Christmas Eve - you draw the name of a cousin and are responsible for a single gift for each of that cousin's kids.  Everyone has about the same number of kids so it works out.  The limit on this one is $20 per child.  Being the "confirmed bachelor" uncle, I get to skip these last two exchanges. 

I usually budget $350:

Mom and Dad - $100 combined or $50 each
3 Sisters - $20-30 each
2 Brothers-in-Law - $20-25 each (though I have no problem combining this with the sister gifts)
6 Nieces and Nephews - $25 each (they're all little Ninjas with Game Stop and iTunes gift cards)

3 Godfather gifts - These always blow the budget because, well, God's watching ha ha

Villanelle

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #30 on: October 25, 2014, 09:44:47 AM »
I just realized that I didn't include charitable giving.  I give throughout the year, but November and December are the biggest charity months for us.  I general buy a gift for a couple Angel tree kids and usually do a surprise layaway pay-down for someone at the local military Exchange (think military big box store).  My closest friends and I usually "adopt" a young girl via some organization and go all out for her as well.  Some of my money goes to provide Thanksgiving meals to families in need, usually coordinated through a military organization, and there may be a few other things here and there.

It adds up--probably $500+, but I don't really count it as holiday spending somehow. 

Nudelkopf

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #31 on: October 25, 2014, 04:27:02 PM »
^ I love that you don't count it as holiday spending. Generosity is the best gift at any time!

I'm going to continue with my theme of giving money to charity on behalf of my family members, and then giving them a card/brochure (to the adults) to explain it, and I've got a few videos/photos to help explain it to the younger children. I'm not sure how much the two babies (2yo and 4yo) will understand, but the older kids (8yo and 10yo) understood quite well last year. I'm aiming for about $20/person x 8 people = $160.

Plus, I have to travel to my family ($500 in flights) :-/

VirginiaBob

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #32 on: October 27, 2014, 07:07:49 AM »
Not including year round charitable giving ($5,000+), I spend about $500 on travel, $500 on gifts.  Too much of an air of "competition" with gift giving in our family, to the point where I don't even try too hard anymore.  For example, my brother bought my parents an iPad, my sister bought them a laptop, my parents bought my sister a refrigerator, etc.  What is next?  Cars, houses, yahts, space shuttles?  It needs to end somewhere.  I'm sure they all think I'm a tightwad for buying them food items like coffee and chocolates, etc. 
« Last Edit: October 27, 2014, 07:11:20 AM by VirginiaBob »

southern granny

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #33 on: October 27, 2014, 07:13:30 PM »
I will buy season passes to a local theme park for my son, DIL, and 4 grandchildren - that will cost me $750.  I estimate another $500 for all other gifts.  Another $200 for baking, candies, and the Christmas morning brunch that we do.  So $1450 or $1500 is what I will spend and that is if my husband and I do not exchange gifts (we normally do not since we both say we prefer to spend the money on the children)

Paulie

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #34 on: October 28, 2014, 02:10:11 AM »
We each draw two lots and thus buy two presents, one should cost around $25 and the other one around $15. So presents should cost me around $40 this year. We also make one dinner course per couple, so that's maybe another $30. Previous years we all bought presents for everyone, but then the gift unwrapping takes up a lot of time and the gift shopping as well, so I'm very happy with this change.

Katy Stache

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #35 on: October 28, 2014, 05:09:08 AM »
The trading of $20 and $40 between kids and adults in my husband's family has always seemed ridiculous to me. I just love being with all of them. They are so happy together. Almost dysfunctional in their happiness. This year I sent an email stating that our family had decided to do a no- spend Christmas so our gifts would be creative or homemade. In all seriousness, they thought their kids wouldn't be happy without a $20 item from the store so they cancelled the grab bag. Scrooge wins but boy do I feel bad that their kids are that needy.

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Re: Holiday season and gifts
« Reply #36 on: November 02, 2014, 08:56:24 PM »
I try to do mostly handmade gifts for extended family, and for our kids we do Want Need Wear Read.  Have any of you heard of that?  Buying the kids something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read for special occasions?  We do add little stocking stuffers and sometimes a little more than those 4 items depending on what we want to get them, but it's a nice guideline to help simplify and guide our gift giving.  In the past it's been about $500 in gifts each year (we give to our 5 parents, 4 grandparents, 3 siblings, which really seems to add up!), but I'd like to somehow get the total down more.  Maybe more used items for the kids this year versus brand new (like books from the kids consignment shop down the street).

 

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