Author Topic: Holiday gifts  (Read 7657 times)

Lan Mandragoran

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Holiday gifts
« on: September 29, 2017, 06:51:54 AM »
How does everyone here handle with the spending and social aspects of gift giving during Christmas and various winter holidays? 

For example in my family gift giving is often pretty extreme.  It is my inlaw's tradition to spend probably 500+$ per child or grandkid, there are 3 kids and only 1 grandkid atm. This is a bit annoying for me, as I don't really want anything and just end up with a bunch of clothes and a admittedly really cool gadget of some type or another.  Then it feels like I'm required to buy a bunch of junk regardless of whether its actually helpful/wanted or not.

So what do you guys think? Find reasonable and generous nice things that people will actually enjoy(our goal usually)?  Make stuff (carpentry or something)?

ixtap

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2017, 09:39:24 AM »
We have made it clear that we don't have room for stuff and man have the presents become more thoughtful!

I have also set a precedent that homemade consumables are real presents, even without booster tchotchkes. Ditto for experiences, like a state park pass.

ILs and SILs still spend gobs on the kids, so it would be much harder if we had kids who were seeing their cousins get mountains.

Cwadda

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2017, 09:42:30 AM »
I'm not doing Christmas gifts this year.  I'm getting stuff for the kids, that's it. 

GuitarStv

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #3 on: September 29, 2017, 09:48:36 AM »
I'm not doing Christmas gifts this year.  I'm getting stuff for the kids, that's it.

Our whole family has moved to this model.  It works just fine.

Askel

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #4 on: September 29, 2017, 09:53:37 AM »
My in-laws also get really weird about gifts. The tradition is, your supposed to think of something expensive you want, tell them about it, and then they "surprise" you with it. 

After balking at this for a number of years, I think they finally realized I'm much happier with a nice pair of socks or something similarly low key. 

Since my side of the family has spread to all corners of the country, we really like sending eachother unique local foods from our respective corners.  Not super expensive, and if the receiving party doesn't like it they can just give it away pretty easily. 

My family, like me, already have plenty of crap, and if they need more crap, are more than capable of buying their own.  So, I don't invest a lot of emotion in gifts I give, expecting they might regift it or return it.  Same goes for homemade gifts. I'd hate to burden somebody with something I made that they feel compelled to hang on to.

My nieces and nephews on the other hand.... the gloves come off. They're getting the extra happy childhood I always wanted whether they want it ot not. :D Yeah, I'm that uncle. 

Stachetastic

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #5 on: September 29, 2017, 10:49:33 AM »
Our children are fortunate to have lot of grandparents who spoil them rotten. This year, we are buying a ping pong table for our basement, using a visa gift card I got as a reward from my health insurance company for doing some online survey type things. We will do stockings with all consumable and a few small items to open. We typically do a gift basket of consumables for my in laws, and gift cards (mostly free with cc reward points) for my parents. My step mom gets a cheap bottle of wine. My brother gets a large package of consumables bought with coupons--laundry detergent, dish soap, beef jerky, toilet paper. My nieces get small toys in the $10 range.

We typically also do gift bags of homemade treats for my aunts/uncles and their families--one per family, not part of an exchange. Homemade jam, cookies, bourbon vanilla, holiday trail mix, accented with some store bought candy. After last year, I said no more. One aunt always makes sure to thank me profusely, but the others...not so much. I have come to terms with the fact that I am a person who needs acknowledgement when I give a gift, so I will just stop giving them. We also give small containers of cookies and candy to the neighbors (4 families), which we will continue. I really enjoy baking, but am looking forward to much less of it this year.

ketchup

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #6 on: September 29, 2017, 10:49:49 AM »
I don't do gifts at all for birthdays or holidays or anything at all, giving or receiving, unless I have a specifically spectacular idea (which is about once every two years, and pretty much never for the same person).  I just don't care.  And it's easier.

Dave1442397

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #7 on: September 29, 2017, 11:26:01 AM »
I'm not doing Christmas gifts this year.  I'm getting stuff for the kids, that's it.

Our whole family has moved to this model.  It works just fine.

Same here. Anything I really need I'd rather research and buy myself.

I'm a red panda

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2017, 11:32:05 AM »
I have a dollar amount I spend on each kid in the family. The younger ones that often comes in the form of a toy or clothes the parents have asked for. The older ones get money.

I get my father a present and a donation to a charity for my mother.
My husband's parents get a gift card to the grocery store.

No one else gets a gift.

My husband and I do not exchange gifts.  This year we will not get gifts for our daughter. We might wrap a few things she already owns and let her rip them open. But she'll be 9 months. She doesn't need gifts.  However, I expect a ton from grandparents.  So far my parents and sister have shown remarkable restraint in buying her stuff (they are both spendy boglehead types), but I expect that not to last for a holiday. They will likely buy big ticket things for her. DH's family will likely buy a ton of little junk items :( 

Erica

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #9 on: September 29, 2017, 11:54:34 AM »
We've always had very rich family members who spend alot of money on Xmas gifts. Both sides.

Last year we purchased everyone RFID wallets + gave home-made jam. They like my home-made jam

Years back.... we were so broke we bought a few cans of photoblocker and shared it. Sprayed it on everyone's license plates

Next Xmas, two of our family members informed us they didn't get tickets in the mail they expected to get.

The intersection camera took a photo but it obviously didn't produce a clear picture of the license plate #



SC93

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2017, 01:19:58 PM »
Before I came in to the family, my in-laws would spend, spend, spend. I set the rule after the 1st year.... anyone who can not afford to give me several $100 bills can not afford to buy me Christmas presents. While they can easily afford $100 bills (plus they got a huge inheritance last year), they see my point of..... anything I want or need, I already have! So, they don't get us much anymore because they see we don't get them much. I actually have a Lazy Susan that my buddy made out of granite for $0 (he owns a granite company). That will be my sister-in-laws present. My brother-in-law will get a $50 gift card to a book store. Now we do include a yearly membership to the museum my wife works at but we would get everyone that no matter if it was for Christmas or not so they can call it a Christmas gift or not.

My side of the family has had every holiday 1 to 2 weeks early ever since I can remember. That way there is never a fight over where everyone is going on the actual holiday. We have always drawn 1 name at Thanksgiving and that is who we buy for. Although, the kids under 12 years of age usually gets presents from everyone. Luckily all the kids are over 12 now so that's not a problem.

I did tell the lil woman this year we are not spending thousands on the 14 year old grandson that lives with us like in years past. We are capping it at $400.

Some people get stressed during the holidays and those people need to put their foot down. It doesn't matter if you can 'afford' it or not.... do what YOU want to do. This Christmas look around and you will see a MINIMUM of 1 person/couple that is stressing just like you and they would also wish the madness would stop. So be the adult and step up in your family. You don't have to be mean. Just tell everyone what you are going to do and how your madness will stop, starting last year. In the end, if someone gets mad at you for it.... they will either get over it.... or they won't....

Lan Mandragoran

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #11 on: September 29, 2017, 01:24:12 PM »
We've always had very rich family members who spend alot of money on Xmas gifts. Both sides.

Last year we purchased everyone RFID wallets + gave home-made jam. They like my home-made jam

Years back.... we were so broke we bought a few cans of photoblocker and shared it. Sprayed it on everyone's license plates

Next Xmas, two of our family members informed us they didn't get tickets in the mail they expected to get.

The intersection camera took a photo but it obviously didn't produce a clear picture of the license plate #

yummmm home made jam is a great idea.  My brothers wife made us some strawberry jam, sooo good on home made icecream ;).

sparkytheop

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #12 on: September 29, 2017, 01:50:52 PM »
Years ago, we gifted to everyone (I have four siblings).  Then we started drawing names.  Then we just dropped it altogether and mostly, if we feel like giving, we do, if not, we don't.  And, when we do, it's usually something homemade and, usually, consumable.  I get some great gifts now :)

Gifts I've given:

Pie crust mix (my dad now asks for this for his birthday/Father's Day)
Honey from a farmer's market (bought a gallon from a local beekeeper for $28 and split it into mason jars--the square-ish ones that alfredo sauce comes in)
Oatmeal smoothie mix
Dog treats (always a hit with the dogs!)
Ranch mix
Brownies in a jar
Plus who knows what else (been doing this for years now)

Gifts I've received:
Candy (we now kind of expect peanut butter balls, coconut bon bons, and caramel corn from my mom, but would be ok if she skipped a year)
Knitted hats and socks (my mom will knit socks and put them in a box all year, passing them out for birthdays, Christmas, or just because.  I pretty much only wear those socks now.)
Spice rubs
Popcorn balls
Chex mix
Etc...

My parents do usually still buy one gift on top of the homemade things.  The last couple years it has been a different kitchen knife.  I've really appreciated the knives, but my sister, who apparently doesn't cook as much, complained to me one year.

I've made blankets for all the nephews and my older niece, and they were all well used by the kids (fleece no-sew type, before I learned to sew).  I asked my younger brother if it would be ok if I made a quilt for my younger niece, but he never responded, so it looks like she'll be the only one not to get anything like that from me.  I'll do something for her when she is an adult, if she'd like.

lbmustache

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #13 on: September 29, 2017, 02:08:58 PM »
Thank god - no gift giving in my family or with friends. With my friends, we used to do "cheap" gifts (<$25) or homemade gifts, but that stopped eventually.

I actually just use the "saved" money to adopt families over the holidays.

talltexan

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #14 on: September 29, 2017, 02:13:28 PM »
Before I came in to the family, my in-laws would spend, spend, spend. I set the rule after the 1st year.... anyone who can not afford to give me several $100 bills can not afford to buy me Christmas presents. While they can easily afford $100 bills (plus they got a huge inheritance last year), they see my point of..... anything I want or need, I already have! So, they don't get us much anymore because they see we don't get them much. I actually have a Lazy Susan that my buddy made out of granite for $0 (he owns a granite company). That will be my sister-in-laws present. My brother-in-law will get a $50 gift card to a book store. Now we do include a yearly membership to the museum my wife works at but we would get everyone that no matter if it was for Christmas or not so they can call it a Christmas gift or not.

My side of the family has had every holiday 1 to 2 weeks early ever since I can remember. That way there is never a fight over where everyone is going on the actual holiday. We have always drawn 1 name at Thanksgiving and that is who we buy for. Although, the kids under 12 years of age usually gets presents from everyone. Luckily all the kids are over 12 now so that's not a problem.

I did tell the lil woman this year we are not spending thousands on the 14 year old grandson that lives with us like in years past. We are capping it at $400.

Some people get stressed during the holidays and those people need to put their foot down. It doesn't matter if you can 'afford' it or not.... do what YOU want to do. This Christmas look around and you will see a MINIMUM of 1 person/couple that is stressing just like you and they would also wish the madness would stop. So be the adult and step up in your family. You don't have to be mean. Just tell everyone what you are going to do and how your madness will stop, starting last year. In the end, if someone gets mad at you for it.... they will either get over it.... or they won't....

I always get stressed about Christmas gifts. It's so hard to know what people really need.

ixtap

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #15 on: September 29, 2017, 03:06:28 PM »
I just remembered some standards for us. As in, some of these are traditions that will result in pouting if broken. Dad will pout if he doesn't get his. At this point, he might even pout if I don't get it for him, even if he also gets some from the grandkids.

Dad gets a bag of black Twizzlers and Husband gets a bag of red twizzler bites. (Go ahead, try to find both at the same store.)

Mom used to get chocolate, but since everyone started doing that, she now gets tea bags unless we come up with a brilliant idea. It really doesn't matter. As long as there is something to unwrap, she is happy.*

FIL gets chocolate covered cherries from his daughters. We are still trying to find our niche with him.

MIL gets whatever she asks for because the first time I asked her what she wanted, she said that no one had ever asked her that before. If she doesn't ask for anything, the fall back is coffee.

*One year I was the only one to come home for Christmas, due to last minute changes. Mom was so disappointed that for the next few years, brothers weren't consulted. We would travel instead. Invariably, she would claim she didn't want the trappings of Christmas, then on Christmas Eve she would suddenly want a tree and lots of gifts. These urges were satisfied with trips to the Dollar store. Candy bars, cheesy toys and games, and non perishable groceries were wrapped, often to be unwrapped again just a few hours later, at the stroke of midnight, which had always been strictly forbidden before. Then they moved abroad and I would get off the plane and wrap whatever they had requested me to bring. Which was especially funny when it turned out that something had been requested to give to a friend. I love spending Christmas surrounded with nieces and nephews now, but I do cherish those odd ball Christmases that were just Mom, Dad and me :)

JoJo

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #16 on: September 29, 2017, 06:23:20 PM »
I'm not doing Christmas gifts this year.  I'm getting stuff for the kids, that's it.

My parents buy presents for the grandkids but me (the only childless one) and my siblings (with 7 kids between them) don't buy gifts for anyone, except for something really small for our parents that really don't need anything (they are happy with a gift card to Pizza Ranch).

The first 2 of the grandkids have now graduated high school so I don't know what will happen now.

I'm happy with this set up.  Since I'm the only one that has to fly in for the holidays, I'm glad not to lug extra stuff.

SC93

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #17 on: September 29, 2017, 09:30:32 PM »
Before I came in to the family, my in-laws would spend, spend, spend. I set the rule after the 1st year.... anyone who can not afford to give me several $100 bills can not afford to buy me Christmas presents. While they can easily afford $100 bills (plus they got a huge inheritance last year), they see my point of..... anything I want or need, I already have! So, they don't get us much anymore because they see we don't get them much. I actually have a Lazy Susan that my buddy made out of granite for $0 (he owns a granite company). That will be my sister-in-laws present. My brother-in-law will get a $50 gift card to a book store. Now we do include a yearly membership to the museum my wife works at but we would get everyone that no matter if it was for Christmas or not so they can call it a Christmas gift or not.

My side of the family has had every holiday 1 to 2 weeks early ever since I can remember. That way there is never a fight over where everyone is going on the actual holiday. We have always drawn 1 name at Thanksgiving and that is who we buy for. Although, the kids under 12 years of age usually gets presents from everyone. Luckily all the kids are over 12 now so that's not a problem.

I did tell the lil woman this year we are not spending thousands on the 14 year old grandson that lives with us like in years past. We are capping it at $400.

Some people get stressed during the holidays and those people need to put their foot down. It doesn't matter if you can 'afford' it or not.... do what YOU want to do. This Christmas look around and you will see a MINIMUM of 1 person/couple that is stressing just like you and they would also wish the madness would stop. So be the adult and step up in your family. You don't have to be mean. Just tell everyone what you are going to do and how your madness will stop, starting last year. In the end, if someone gets mad at you for it.... they will either get over it.... or they won't....

I always get stressed about Christmas gifts. It's so hard to know what people really need.

Do you know anyone that doesn't like cookies? Do you know anyone that doesn't like cash? See how easy it was to have 2 options. What town are you from in Texas?


okits

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #18 on: September 29, 2017, 09:54:10 PM »
It's a balancing act, for sure.  How much I don't want to do X vs. how much I don't want to deal with the fallout.

We've already stopped exchanging gifts with siblings unless it's something we see that is absolutely perfect for them.  This is great.

I don't know how much we can scale back with my inlaws (this seems pretty important to them) but we usually discuss practical things we want or need, and there's usually gift cards (that we will use) exchanged, too.

We don't always have the cousins there at Christmas, but we did last year and the amount of stuff they got (vs. our kids) was pretty dramatic.  When my kids are older they will notice and I'm not sure how we'll deal with that.  Cross that bridge when we get to it!

KarefulKactus15

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #19 on: September 30, 2017, 01:21:57 PM »
I hate Christmas because of the odd exchange of $ via presents. 

My in-laws are the worst!  Every year I threaten to leave town just to avoid dealing with expectations and traditions that annoy me.

Retire-Canada

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #20 on: October 02, 2017, 06:59:28 AM »
How does everyone here handle with the spending and social aspects of gift giving during Christmas and various winter holidays? 

I spend $100 on the GF, buy my mom some flowers and get something for the cat at Christmas. That's it. For friends I spend $$ to meet up socially for a drink and food so I budget a bit more for that over the holidays.

If you have relatives who have to spend $$ let them know in advance you don't want any gifts and if they feel the need to give one anyway to donate to a specific charity of your choosing for the whole family. If they donate you donate some $$ to the same charity in their family's name. For the shopaholic types that will put the brakes on their spending and if not at least it's going to a better cause than Walmart's bottom line.

I'm a red panda

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #21 on: October 02, 2017, 12:25:39 PM »
Before I came in to the family, my in-laws would spend, spend, spend. I set the rule after the 1st year.... anyone who can not afford to give me several $100 bills can not afford to buy me Christmas presents. While they can easily afford $100 bills (plus they got a huge inheritance last year), they see my point of..... anything I want or need, I already have! So, they don't get us much anymore because they see we don't get them much. I actually have a Lazy Susan that my buddy made out of granite for $0 (he owns a granite company). That will be my sister-in-laws present. My brother-in-law will get a $50 gift card to a book store. Now we do include a yearly membership to the museum my wife works at but we would get everyone that no matter if it was for Christmas or not so they can call it a Christmas gift or not.

My side of the family has had every holiday 1 to 2 weeks early ever since I can remember. That way there is never a fight over where everyone is going on the actual holiday. We have always drawn 1 name at Thanksgiving and that is who we buy for. Although, the kids under 12 years of age usually gets presents from everyone. Luckily all the kids are over 12 now so that's not a problem.

I did tell the lil woman this year we are not spending thousands on the 14 year old grandson that lives with us like in years past. We are capping it at $400.

Some people get stressed during the holidays and those people need to put their foot down. It doesn't matter if you can 'afford' it or not.... do what YOU want to do. This Christmas look around and you will see a MINIMUM of 1 person/couple that is stressing just like you and they would also wish the madness would stop. So be the adult and step up in your family. You don't have to be mean. Just tell everyone what you are going to do and how your madness will stop, starting last year. In the end, if someone gets mad at you for it.... they will either get over it.... or they won't....

I always get stressed about Christmas gifts. It's so hard to know what people really need.

Do you know anyone that doesn't like cookies? Do you know anyone that doesn't like cash? See how easy it was to have 2 options. What town are you from in Texas?

Giving cash to adults is awkward, IMO.
Here's a check for $25!  Thanks! Here's a check for $25 for you too!
Or "here's a gift card to starbucks!" "awesome! Here's one to Target!" Neither one of us put any thought into this, and we're exactly where we were before the exchange except the money has to go to a certain store now.

Why bother?

(And cookies are difficult when everything has to go by mail.) 

rockstache

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #22 on: October 02, 2017, 01:47:52 PM »

Or "here's a gift card to starbucks!" "awesome! Here's one to Target!" Neither one of us put any thought into this, and we're exactly where we were before the exchange except the money has to go to a certain store now.


Oh, so you've been to Christmas at my IL's?

Hargrove

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #23 on: October 02, 2017, 03:47:42 PM »
I try to get everybody something around $20-40 in the group I'm spending Christmas with, and I bring 1-3 bottles of wine around $60 total For Thanksgiving. I do more for my SO sometimes if we're not saving for a big thing.

Is it expensive? Sure. Is it time consuming? Yep. But I love it. It's the only time of year I spend much on anything, and the only time of year I "go shopping." I enjoy the shopping as much as the giving, because I get a kick out of remembering obscure details and things mentioned in passing in, like, February, because that's the stuff that's fun to watch people open.

If you spend holidays with friends, though, I find that it's MUCH easier to do this than if you spend holidays with a long list of relatives you only see once a year. If you're just spending $40 to check a box or because you feel like you're supposed to, I can't imagine that being any fun, so I can understand just opting out of that sort of gift-giving.
« Last Edit: October 02, 2017, 03:49:24 PM by Hargrove »

Stachetastic

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #24 on: October 03, 2017, 05:28:14 AM »
We are opting out of my extended family's exchange this year because we have gotten to the point where we're exchanging $30 worth of clutter (or gift cards if we're lucky). Last year I received an ugly scarf and some gross perfume (I don't wear perfume at all, but this was a particularly offensive scent). No thanks. We just found out Friday husband is getting laid off effective this week, so people will assume that's the reason, which is just fine.

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #25 on: October 03, 2017, 07:32:30 AM »
I love Christmas and the holiday spirit and lights and cookies and parties and everything that goes with it....except for the gifting part.

We've finally convinced those who would buy us gifts that we don't expect or want them as we don't want more stuff and things.

So this year husband and I, along with our roommate, are the only ones buying gifts for each other. And even then we're only doing stockings with a spending limit of $25 each. Makes it so much simpler.

Laura33

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #26 on: October 03, 2017, 07:47:21 AM »
I love holidays and gifts, but it is stressful.  In my family, the goal is to find a gift that would have been exactly what the other person has always wanted, had they thought of it, and the second they open the box, they don't know how they lived without it.  So, you know, no pressure.  No lists, no "I want X" -- that was the best way NOT to get what you asked for; it had to be a surprise.  So most of the gifts turned out awesome, because so much thought went into figuring out what someone would really like -- but, boy, stress.  DH's family, OTOH, just emails each other what they want and where to find it (and sometimes, they even buy it for themselves and the other just sends a check).  Now THAT I don't get.

Luckily, the last few years have gotten a lot easier (and cheaper).  All our parents have gotten to the point where they have everything they want, so we give them contributions to their preferred charities, and they give us 529 contributions, and the "gifts" are limited to stocking stuffers (or things like a night's free babysitting so DH and I can go out).  My siblings and I still exchange one present (on the order of $20-50), and DH's family does an awesome Yankee swap with a gift limit of $15 and an intentionally odd assortment of gifts.  Kids still get presents from grandparents and from us, but the last couple of years we have been traveling, so they basically got cash to spend on treats from those locations.

My recurring issue is what to do with teachers/daycare/coworkers/friends and such -- the kind of thing where you don't know if you're supposed to get presents or for how much.  I have been happy to contribute when the kids' schools arrange a class gift, and I pick up some gift cards to the local coffee shop for daycare teachers and the like.  For the rest, I have started to make homemade cocoa mix and marshmallows (the mix is just flat-out decadent, and the marshmallows are huge fun to make with the kids and dead simple).  That way, I always have an appropriate gift on hand if someone gives me something -- and if I end up with some leftovers, well, gee, darn, guess I'll have to take care of those myself. ;-)

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #27 on: October 03, 2017, 04:02:35 PM »
I love holidays and gifts, but it is stressful.  In my family, the goal is to find a gift that would have been exactly what the other person has always wanted, had they thought of it, and the second they open the box, they don't know how they lived without it.  So, you know, no pressure.  No lists, no "I want X" -- that was the best way NOT to get what you asked for; it had to be a surprise.  So most of the gifts turned out awesome, because so much thought went into figuring out what someone would really like -- but, boy, stress.

This is exactly how I used to shop for the holidays. You're right, total stressfest, I hated it. Ain't nobody got time for stress so I've adopted a free for all goodie bag-fest-thing... >_>  <_<

Anyways, what I do now is make a big batch of goodies (2 or 3 different things like cookies, brittle, or spiced nuts) and put 'em in little festive baggies from the Dollar Store and toss em out like beads at Mardi Gras. Also, it fits so it ships, no big deal for family that's not local - kids especially love getting sweets in the mail.

I made an announcement years ago that I was done with the hassle of buying the perfect gift for everyone and now they've all come to expect holiday treat from me instead. It's right about this time of year that my family starts the guessing game of what's to come. I love to cook so it's fun for me plus I gain skill in the kitchen, bonus that it's a lot cheaper this way.

travelbug

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #28 on: October 03, 2017, 09:20:54 PM »
For the rest, I have started to make homemade cocoa mix and marshmallows (the mix is just flat-out decadent, and the marshmallows are huge fun to make with the kids and dead simple).  That way, I always have an appropriate gift on hand if someone gives me something -- and if I end up with some leftovers, well, gee, darn, guess I'll have to take care of those myself. ;-)

I would love the cocoa mix recipe please, if you'd care to share...

As far as Christmas goes, we are culling our list this year. Buying for MIL, my parents, two nephews (cash as they are 15), on SisIL and that is it.
DH and I have one or two things on our lists that we will wrap for Christmas (we would have bought them anyway, so will hold out til then to receive them). Kids still believe in Santa so they will get one or two things from their wish lists and a couple of surprises.

SC93

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #29 on: October 03, 2017, 11:25:21 PM »
Before I came in to the family, my in-laws would spend, spend, spend. I set the rule after the 1st year.... anyone who can not afford to give me several $100 bills can not afford to buy me Christmas presents. While they can easily afford $100 bills (plus they got a huge inheritance last year), they see my point of..... anything I want or need, I already have! So, they don't get us much anymore because they see we don't get them much. I actually have a Lazy Susan that my buddy made out of granite for $0 (he owns a granite company). That will be my sister-in-laws present. My brother-in-law will get a $50 gift card to a book store. Now we do include a yearly membership to the museum my wife works at but we would get everyone that no matter if it was for Christmas or not so they can call it a Christmas gift or not.

My side of the family has had every holiday 1 to 2 weeks early ever since I can remember. That way there is never a fight over where everyone is going on the actual holiday. We have always drawn 1 name at Thanksgiving and that is who we buy for. Although, the kids under 12 years of age usually gets presents from everyone. Luckily all the kids are over 12 now so that's not a problem.

I did tell the lil woman this year we are not spending thousands on the 14 year old grandson that lives with us like in years past. We are capping it at $400.

Some people get stressed during the holidays and those people need to put their foot down. It doesn't matter if you can 'afford' it or not.... do what YOU want to do. This Christmas look around and you will see a MINIMUM of 1 person/couple that is stressing just like you and they would also wish the madness would stop. So be the adult and step up in your family. You don't have to be mean. Just tell everyone what you are going to do and how your madness will stop, starting last year. In the end, if someone gets mad at you for it.... they will either get over it.... or they won't....

I always get stressed about Christmas gifts. It's so hard to know what people really need.

Do you know anyone that doesn't like cookies? Do you know anyone that doesn't like cash? See how easy it was to have 2 options. What town are you from in Texas?

Giving cash to adults is awkward, IMO.
Here's a check for $25!  Thanks! Here's a check for $25 for you too!
Or "here's a gift card to starbucks!" "awesome! Here's one to Target!" Neither one of us put any thought into this, and we're exactly where we were before the exchange except the money has to go to a certain store now.

Why bother?

(And cookies are difficult when everything has to go by mail.)

Feel free to give me cash any time and I will not ever feel awkward. But to my point.... why bother? Exactly! I might get you a $3 gift but if you can't give me cash and lots of it.... don't waste your time is what I tell them. It took them 3 years to figure out I was serious. lol

SC93

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #30 on: October 03, 2017, 11:31:35 PM »
We are opting out of my extended family's exchange this year because we have gotten to the point where we're exchanging $30 worth of clutter (or gift cards if we're lucky). Last year I received an ugly scarf and some gross perfume (I don't wear perfume at all, but this was a particularly offensive scent). No thanks. We just found out Friday husband is getting laid off effective this week, so people will assume that's the reason, which is just fine.

Hopefully your husband, and you, feel very excited about him being laid off! Now he has a great opportunity to go out and replace his job with something that will double his income! Whether it be another 'job' or maybe a business of his own. Keep a positive attitude and strive for something more than he had! Great news!

But just a word of advice.... if he is in some type of 'field' and he thinks he must stay in that 'field', just explain to him that fields are for farmers so if he isn't a farmer he needs to worry about making money, not staying in a 'field'. Hopefully he doesn't have that mind set but a lot of people do and maybe someone in the future will see this and it will help them. Good luck!! Keep us updated. I get excited when these great opportunities come up!

Stachetastic

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #31 on: October 04, 2017, 05:52:40 AM »
Hopefully your husband, and you, feel very excited about him being laid off! Now he has a great opportunity to go out and replace his job with something that will double his income! Whether it be another 'job' or maybe a business of his own. Keep a positive attitude and strive for something more than he had! Great news!

But just a word of advice.... if he is in some type of 'field' and he thinks he must stay in that 'field', just explain to him that fields are for farmers so if he isn't a farmer he needs to worry about making money, not staying in a 'field'. Hopefully he doesn't have that mind set but a lot of people do and maybe someone in the future will see this and it will help them. Good luck!! Keep us updated. I get excited when these great opportunities come up!

Thanks, SC93! Excited is not the word I would use, but he is definitely ready for a change. He has been job hunting for a few months now because he has been ready to move on. (The lay off was quite a shocker, though. Didn't see that coming.)

This is a position he landed on after being laid off from the state government, where he had worked for 14 years. This position had no benefits, and he often worked 7 days a week in some capacity (director of small non profit). He will not miss it. Thankfully we are able to keep everyone fed and the lights on with my salary, so we will be fine in the interim. Trying to stay positive, because this situation definitely has a silver lining!

herbgeek

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #32 on: October 04, 2017, 05:57:28 AM »
I stopped exchanging with friends many years ago.  They are all really busy with families etc and so appreciated that much less to buy.  My siblings all have everything they want, so same thing.  I give token gifts to my parents, and a family gift (typically a museum membership) to the grand nieces/nephew.  And fun little gifts to my spouse ($100 limit typically).

I have no stress.  Everything I do buy can be purchased on line.   Don;t have to do long nights of holiday baking. 

Usually we make a point to go see lights, and a couple of holiday concerts.  So much nicer when you can really enjoy, instead of thinking of that long to do list.

Laura33

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #33 on: October 04, 2017, 07:11:26 AM »
I would love the cocoa mix recipe please, if you'd care to share...

Happy to!  I originally got this from browneyedbaker but modified to my taste -- I make multiple batches of this, because each serving requires @1/3 c. mix.  Also note that you should make the cocoa with milk, not water (that's part of what makes it extra rich and good):

3 c. nonfat dry milk powder
2 c. powdered sugar
1.5 c. cocoa powder
2 bars chocolate, broken up or chopped (original called for 1.5 c. white chocolate chips; I prefer 90% dark bars, but adjust to your taste)
1/4 t. salt
1 t. vanilla extract

Process everything in a food processor until very finely ground, fill jars as you like.  Does not require refrigeration.

I pair this with Alton Brown's recipe for homemade marshmallows, which is easy as can be (if messy), especially if you have a stand mixer with a whisk attachment (I use gallon a Ziploc to pipe the mess onto prepared Silpat liners, then just toss the bag).

Dr. Pepper

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #34 on: October 04, 2017, 07:18:24 PM »
Last few years we get each kid, one gift they will really like. The rest of the budget goes to a vacation, sometimes just something local, instead of buying more clutter.

travelbug

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Re: Holiday gifts
« Reply #35 on: October 05, 2017, 01:47:34 AM »
I would love the cocoa mix recipe please, if you'd care to share...

Happy to!  I originally got this from browneyedbaker but modified to my taste -- I make multiple batches of this, because each serving requires @1/3 c. mix.  Also note that you should make the cocoa with milk, not water (that's part of what makes it extra rich and good):

3 c. nonfat dry milk powder
2 c. powdered sugar
1.5 c. cocoa powder
2 bars chocolate, broken up or chopped (original called for 1.5 c. white chocolate chips; I prefer 90% dark bars, but adjust to your taste)
1/4 t. salt
1 t. vanilla extract

Process everything in a food processor until very finely ground, fill jars as you like.  Does not require refrigeration.

I pair this with Alton Brown's recipe for homemade marshmallows, which is easy as can be (if messy), especially if you have a stand mixer with a whisk attachment (I use gallon a Ziploc to pipe the mess onto prepared Silpat liners, then just toss the bag).

Yum...drooling...thank you

 

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