Help! Help! Unsure how to view possibly increased monthly living expenses.

[candiceena]

Hi all,

I'm new here. Hoping I can get some help & insight. Here is some background on me followed by my current problem.

I'm 25 years old, have a BS in Sociology, work full time + mandatory overtime for a large insurance company as a claims adjuster. 40K/yr base + whatever I make from overtime. OT is essentially unlimited. I can literally work as much as I want to right now. I have no kids and no husband. 7k in CC debt that has been acquired in the last 12 months (I'm a reformed anti-mustachian). 49k in student loans (irrsponsible borrowing). My job is as secure as it'll ever get. Company has a 90+ year track record. I'm dedicated to my job in the sense that if it moves, I move. Not because I love it, but because it's a damn good job with great pay and great benefits. I'm on track to get a raise to about 52k in 1.5-2 yrs and then another 2-3 yrs later, up to what will then be about 82k. Yearly raises of about 4-5% towards salary.

I have no assets, only debt. Well, I lied. I have a 2002 Dodge Neon, manual transmission, 180K miles but just had a new motor & clutch put into it. It was the car my parents bought for me when I got my license at 16 and I've driven it since then. It is banged up but I plan on driving it for as long as I can. That's my only "asset" though and it's probably only worth $500 due to high miles and body damage. And I recently started saving towards my 401k. $35 per paycheck (you read that right. I know).

My company also offers a pension. I don't know how those work though but I'm pretty sure they aren't an actual "asset".

So a breakdown (sorry if I am doing this wrong):

ASSETS:
$500 car
$120 (??) 401k

LIABILITIES:
$7,000 CC debt - interest rates anywhere from 27% to 7%
$49,000 student loan debt - currently in deferment as I just graduated in December. First payment due in August. Will be about $250 as I signed up for the 25-year plan b/c I literally cannot afford the $500/month 10-year plan, right now.

So my situation is this. I currently live with my BF and we have lived together in the same house for 2 years. I'm tired of this house. It's too big for us and therefore difficult to keep clean. My BF is a diesel mechanic so he doesn't really care that the house isn't spotless, nice-looking, etc. We also live out in the country-ish. I can't walk anywhere, to any stores or anything. Recently he got a puppy and the puppy has had accidents all over the place. He does his best to keep up on cleaning them up but the smell is lingering IMO and it's driving me batshit. Add to this the fact that I am not sure that I want to stay with this guy forever. I think our "time" might have come and gone. But I can't say that for sure either, because part of that feeling comes from the fact that....

we don't pay rent. Or water, or sewer, or garbage, or electricity. We get all of that paid for through his work as a perk. I know that if I had to pay rent HERE, on this house, to live all the way out HERE ... I would NOT BE HERE!!! I would not pay to live this far out and in this big of a house. We aren't really that far out, only about 10-15 mins from town, but it FEEEEEEELS so far.

So I finally broke down and decided to get an apartment. I paid my non-refundable $400 deposit. The rent is $885 plus $45 for WSG. Plus I will need to pay electricity now too, I figure average probably about $100/mo. So there is over $1,000 a month in expenses I just took on, sort of.

The apartment isn't ready yet and I haven't signed the lease. I'm considering backing out. I don't know how much longer we are going to have of this perk. And I'm starting to think maybe it's time I stopped looking a gift horse in the mouth and instead started throwing the $1130 every month towards paying off those CCs and then saving & student loans.

At first I was telling myself that "I deserve to be happy" and "deserve" and "deserve" and "deserve" all this crap. Then I read the hedonic adaptation article and started thinking to myself that maybe I'm really not going to be all that much happier in a place that is going to basically take out $1130 out of my monthly income.

Thoughts? What would/should a Mustachian do? Note that I've been approved/waiting for the apartment for about 3 weeks now. This is not the first time these concerns/thoughts have gone thru my head.

[CommonCents]

Don't stay with someone for the housing.
That said, yes, you need a plan to pay off the credit card.  Where is all of your paycheck going if you have no housing expenses?  Figure out a budget for yourself and commit to working as much overtime as you reasonably can and using it to drown that debt as fast as possible.

[Cassie]

Could you find a smaller apt that is cheaper?

[MKinVA]

You have no expenses, but 7 grand inch debt? Snap out of it. Pay that off in the next three months. Use the time to decide if you want to be in this relationship or not.

[Jamesqf]

Yes, separate the relationship issues from the money issues.

[candiceena]

A few extra things I forgot to include: ... last year I made 30k. I just got promoted to my new 40k salary. Last year I also spent the entire year plus some in 2012 and some into 2013 paying off a judgement. Long story short, someone close to me died a messy death in my old apartment, I found the body, broke the lease, and got sued for the lease-break and the biohazard cleanup bill.

Re: cheaper apartment. The one I've got picked out now is a 1 bd 1 ba w/ washer and dryer. I could find something possible cheaper but not by much, maybe $30? From there it does go down a lot to go into no-washer-dryer land but around here laundromats will take you to the cleaners (pun intended). $2.50 a wash and $25/c per 5 min dry. Household-sized loads, too. In AZ it was different ... cheap to use the laundromat. Not here though.

Re: no expenses/7k in debt. I probably should have included that judgement payments in my OP but it's done and paid now so I didn't think of it.

Re: relationship issues v. money issues. I understand and agree I need to sort these out. I guess this was more of a question on would you/should I forsake "happiness" (?) (via a clean, simple, non-smelly home) to pay off debt quicker. My first instinct was what CommonCents said - don't stay w/ someone for housing. But then I started to think about the fact that we don't live in a perfect world & things aren't black and white. Maybe I should just see it as a sacrifice? Then the more I started to think it over, the more I started to think that maybe all I'd be sacrificing is my morals, values, and sanity.

[SDREMNGR]

You are in a pretty crappy situation.  I'm really not trying to judge but I can't help but guess that you must feel like in some ways you are compromising your soul, self-esteem, chance at meeting someone else, etc. in exchange for the free living situation.

While I agree that the money vs. relationship aspects of your situation are separate issues, perhaps it doesn't need to be.  On the relationship side, are you sure that things can't be improved?  And if so, is it worth the 4-5 months of cohabitation so that you can pay off your credit cards first?  And once you have paid it off, are you 100% sure that you are going to move out?

If I were the boyfriend in all of this, I'd feel pretty used and abused if I found out that my gf was only staying with me for the free housing.  And that reminds me of an episode of Seinfeld, where Jerry has a housekeeper who becomes his gf and then stops cleaning his apartment but still collects her cleaning fee from him.  "What did I just pay for" he asks himself...

I would say that you should stay with him if you think there is genuine chance of it improving and you are giving it a real shot.  If you are just using him for free housing, then it's not a very nice thing to do and I can't see that working out well.  $7k in credit card debt is not worth selling yourself out.

[Argyle]

How much can it cost you to do wash, even at those expensive laundromats?  Two washes a week is $5, so maybe $20 in washes, and double that for $40 total per month?  That might be a lot for washes, but if it saves you $200+ per month in rent, then that's still a good deal. 

[CommonCents]

Can you find a place with a roommate?  When I earned $30K I was living with 2-3 other roommates and got a much better rent than if I had looked for a 1-bed or studio.  (Btw, until out of debt...consider a studio as well, not a 1-bed.)

The issue with "sacrificing" to stay with someone is that's not really the case if you are wanting out of the relationship - instead you're really just using him as sdremngr suggests.  (Sacrificing is accepting a smaller or less comfortable place to live with him when you want to stay with him.)   And also beware, a lot of people stay in relationships due to complacency - and end up staying together longer than they would have because they are living together and its easier to not rock the boat, and from there married (then divorced).

[MissStache]

Where do you live?  $885 for a 1-bedroom is pretty pricey.  I only pay a couple hundred more than that, and I live in one of the most expensive places in the US.  Can you find a roomate through work?

And I've totally stayed with a boyfriend too long because of a favorable rent situation.  By the time it ended we hated each other and he felt used (with pretty good reason, in retrospect).  Don't do it.  If you really think it isn't worth saving then get out as soon as you can.  You'll feel a lot better about everything.

It would also be helpful to see your monthly breakdown of income and expenses. 

And I used to work in insurance claims, so you get a big old hug from me for having one of the most greuling, thankless jobs in the world. 

[ChiStache]

Why can't you afford the 10-year repayment plan on your SLs? That's really confusing to me, and not clear from your post.

If you can't afford that, you definitely can't afford a $1000/month in housing expenses.

[Cpa Cat]

I think you need to look at your paystubs and do some math. What is your take home? $2500 a month? Plus unlimited overtime.

Right now you're looking at
$1000/mo housing.
$250/mo student loans.
$500/mo (??) in credit card payments.

Where is the rest of your money going? Heck, you're not even spending the $1000/mo yet - are you using dollar bills as puppy pee pads?

Your financial situation isn't actually that dire.

There is absolutely no reason for you to be dead broke and living with a guy for cheap housing.

Figure out what you're spending your money on. Then move out. Then work as much overtime as you can muster. If that apartment isn't within walking distance of work + grocery, then find a different one - because your car could crap out on you at any moment and you can't afford to replace it.

Work hard. Pay off your debt. Enjoy financial success. Try not to leave any dead bodies behind.

[abhe8]

don't rent an apartment...rent a ROOM!! split from the BF, as it sounds like you are using him for money and telling the world via the internet. rent a room (or find roommates for the apt) within walk/bike distance of work and go on an intense few months/year of working hard, living light and paying off that debt. i would think you could keep expenses to maybe 1500 a month (total!) and really kill that debt fast. also use the time for "relationship detox" and you can come fresh in a year or so, re-evaluate and make some new plans. best of luck to you!! it sounds like a tough situation but you seem to be looking in the right direction.

[Thegoblinchief]

Hard to offer advice without further detail, but adding $1,000 a month is awful for your financial health.

Breaking up with your BF May or may not improve your personal health, but the stress of THAT high of living expenses will mitigate the benefit. If you decide to break up, you need to find cheaper living arrangements.

The tone of your post suggests you are making a snap decision out of frustration. Back out of that lease. Take the next month to evaluate your relationship with this guy. Track your expenses, build a budget. Then decide the next step.