Have no idea about money and economics. (unemployed 30 years old nerd)

[fb132]

Living with mom is a losers thing. A guy who does not have a place of his own is not even considered an option for most girls, you can't spend all of your times together inside a trashy car from the 1990s or cafes. You need a private place of your own if you know what I mean.

But moving out is a big risk, I could end up wasting my inhered money. So I have to agree.

That is the most dumbest thing I have ever heard. I am seriously wondering if you are a troll. You priotize way too much on what girls think. Living with your mom is nothing to be shamefull about especially where your at, it will help you build some financial stability in the short amount of time and hopefully it will give you wings to fly on your own some day.

Your priorities are way wrong, so far, the biggest priority for you seems to be:
1) Getting laid and getting a girl
2) Getting your own place
3) Getting a job

Your priorities should be in reverse.
Your priorities are all wrong and frankly I think I will stop here, my gut feeling tells me that you are either an internet troll or simply you won't listen to any of our advices. I hope you do change things around though, because it would be sucha waste if you stay the way you are right now and so far I don't see anything that leads me to believe that you will change. You acknowledge you have a problem, but that's about it. You don't seem pumped into looking for a job or anything. Hopefully I am wrong.

[wenchsenior]

[REPOST, and responded to the latest reply]

My husband grew up in bad poverty...like sell blood to buy ketchup and pasta for dinner type poverty. Most of his family were high school dropouts, many were in trouble with the law. Most were pissed at 'society' for 'holding them down' but wouldn't stick to jobs for more than a few weeks, and never bothered to hold onto a single dollar.  My husband moved every year of his life until his sophomore year of high school because his parents couldn't settle in one place. He was an insecure, angry loner. He had no particular ambition because he had no ideas what opportunities were available, and knew no one who had ever improved themselves. He thought he was going to work for the rest of his life in a crappy factory job and thought, why bother?

So how do you feel now that it paid off? Has your quality of life improved significantly? Did you achieve any big goals? Or still struggling with the basics and merely capable of supporting yourselves?

Troll question, and I doubt you really want help. I think you are bored and looking for attention.

If you had actually READ the rest of my post, that was answered in it. My husband went from disaffected, poor loner to a professional career in a field he loves, with status and recognition, a stable, high-income job with good benefits, no debt except mortgage, good prospects for retirement,  opportunities for travel, a happy long-term relationship, etc.

The struggle to get there gave him self-respect and satisfaction with life, which you currently don't have, and never will unless you make an effort.

If you are asking whether he's living in a mansion now, with fancy cars and clothes and the latest smart phone or whatever, then no. If you want advice on that, this is not the forum for you since that isn't a Mustachian priority.

[Bracken_Joy]

However, you actually owe it to your mother to help her. She has presumably paid for you for 30 years, cooked your meals and done your laundry. She has put up with all her relatives complaining about you. She has just lost a husband, just as you have lost a father.

I'm embarrassed to say this, but my mother does have a job and she is the one who is supporting the whole family. As for her losing her husband, well guess what, she started fucking some one else just 1 month after my father died.

My husband grew up in bad poverty...like sell blood to buy ketchup and pasta for dinner type poverty. Most of his family were high school dropouts, many were in trouble with the law. Most were pissed at 'society' for 'holding them down' but wouldn't stick to jobs for more than a few weeks, and never bothered to hold onto a single dollar.  My husband moved every year of his life until his sophomore year of high school because his parents couldn't settle in one place. He was an insecure, angry loner. He had no particular ambition because he had no ideas what opportunities were available, and knew no one who had ever improved themselves. He thought he was going to work for the rest of his life in a crappy factory job and thought, why bother?

So how do you feel now that it paid off? Has your quality of life improved significantly? Did you achieve any big goals? Or still struggling with the basics and merely capable of supporting yourselves?

I will speak to both these points: 1, sexuality is often a part of human grieving. It does NOT mean your mother has forgotten your father or moved on. It means your mother is seeking human connection. (How on earth can you fault her for that, when every second word of yours is all about "girls"?). People grieve in different ways, it is petty of you to judge her for grieving "wrong". While I do think you need to focus on getting and holding a job before anything else, your lack of respect for your mom and her choices tells me you should move out as soon as your feet are under you. (NOT because "girls", but because you are in HER space and judging her in her own home).


The second point: is it worth it? YES. What do you have to lose? You sound miserable. You're not connecting with anyone on a deep level, romantically or not, if you are lying to the entire world around you. So absolute worst case scenario, you're STILL miserable! But guess what? You won't be. People are hard wired to get a rush from accomplishment. That is why you're playing video games. Shelve the artificial achievement and use those brain chemicals to get some REAL goals met. For a while, it'll feel less "big" or "real" than games, because you've been soaking your poor dopamine receptors with all the colors and motion of artificial reality. Your brain needs to recalibrate back down, get rid of all the extra receptors you made. That is what happens, with any sort of addiction, whether chemical or behavioral. You are like a lab rat, pushing a switch over and over. Your brain has been rewarded too much for things that are not real achievements. This will OF COURSE make the rest of reality seem disappointing and boring. There are no explosions, people bowing down to your accomplishments, metals, or scantily clad women cheering you on. A read on the topic: http://theweek.com/articles/451660/psychology-video-game-addiction  Not to be crude, but it is a similar concept to people who watch porn and masturbate all the time and then find sex with a partner dissatisfying- you overwhelm your senses (the so-called "death grip"), and this fake life is far more stimulating. Real life then pales in comparison.

Even if all you do with your spare time now is go for walks, that is an improvement. Get out, see the world, get into nature. Reconnect with reality. Watch a squirrel or something. If a squirrel can provide for itself, you can figure out a way.

[alsoknownasDean]

Looking at the defeatist, lacking in motivation tone of your posts, I reckon the first thing you need to do is to go and get some help.

Once you get yourself sorted out, then find a job. Moving out and a relationship can happen later.

Good luck!

[johnny847]

I can attract womenand get dates. However I can't sustain any thing long-term or even short-term[in other words, having a reliable access to sex] because eventually they will see through my lies. That I don't have a job, house and the car belongs to my mom. So I bail out and end it before they find out, in order to not hurt their feelings. No one likes being led on and lied to by a phony liar.

You seem to think of women as just a source of sex. Stop it.
You responded to a lot of people's posts but ignored this one:

[some stuff cut for brevity]
- See girls as people
- See hot girls as people
- See other people as people, and not just NPCs in your video game
- Talk to people

Serious question, are you a sex addict?

Your not working and playing games all the time is not attractive to women. It isn't a sign they are shallow.

I have to lie about my job, to everyone not just women.

No you don't. One of he first steps to making progress in this situation is being honest to yourself and others about your situation. To first fix a problem you must acknowledge the problem, not deny its existence.

First thing first, fuck video games, starting tomorrow, you will start looking for a job, who cares if it's a low paying job, start somewhere...it is not by sitting on your ass all day playing world of warcraft that suddenly you will make money and get lots of girls. Life does not work that way. Is it wrong living at your mom's house at your age?? Not if you have a job and your doing it to help out the family and you are single. Infact, living with your mom will boost your savings until you are ready and have enough money to start living somewhere else.

And stop thinking about what girls think about you, at this moment, girls should be the least of your worries right now. The priority is getting A J-O-B...and I am not talking about hiring a hooker. You need income, that is the number 1 priority. If a girl suddenly has interest in you while you are searching for a job or if you start working somewhere...well that's a plus..but your priority at this moment is making money, start putting some money aside and help out your poor mother who has to deal with you. Once all that is in place, usually everything else falls in place.

Yeah fuck videogames, I'm just playing games because I'm bored or I find them to be the best way to distract myself. Kinda escaping the reality instead of facing it head on. I am not seeking validation from girls, I'm just frustrated with my sexual life. But that's because I have entitlement issues. You can't have sex regularly without investing a major amount of your time, attention and money on a relationship with a quality chick. Again it all comes down to laziness I guess, and having high expectations and high standards when you are a trash bum yourself lol.

Again. Acknowledge that you have a problem instead of just playing games to avoid the problem.
And see above about women and sex.

However, you actually owe it to your mother to help her. She has presumably paid for you for 30 years, cooked your meals and done your laundry. She has put up with all her relatives complaining about you. She has just lost a husband, just as you have lost a father.

I'm embarrassed to say this, but my mother does have a job and she is the one who is supporting the whole family. As for her losing her husband, well guess what, she started fucking some one else just 1 month after my father died.

You have no right to judge your mother on how she grieves when she is the one that has been providing for you while you've been a bum.

Regarding self-sufficiency, I am fairly self-sufficient if left on my own.

Bullshit.

30 isn't too late to go back to school and study something that interests you.  40k while living with mom should afford you a solid degree.  It would be easier to transition into a professional job right out of school.

I have a CIW certification. I'm thinking about finishing the whole program and acquire their complete certification. I don't like IT but I've heard you can have a steady income if you have those certs and at least 3 years of experience.

Defeatist attitude at it again.
By your logic nobody would get a job. To get a job you need experience, and to get experience you need a job. But clearly, people have jobs. They started somewhere. So can you.

[dcheesi]

Living with mom is a losers thing. A guy who does not have a place of his own is not even considered an option for most girls, you can't spend all of your times together inside a trashy car from the 1990s or cafes. You need a private place of your own if you know what I mean.

But moving out is a big risk, I could end up wasting my inhered money. So I have to agree.

That is the most dumbest thing I have ever heard. I am seriously wondering if you are a troll. You priotize way too much on what girls think. Living with your mom is nothing to be shamefull about especially where your at, it will help you build some financial stability in the short amount of time and hopefully it will give you wings to fly on your own some day.

Your priorities are way wrong, so far, the biggest priority for you seems to be:
1) Getting laid and getting a girl
2) Getting your own place
3) Getting a job

Your priorities should be in reverse.
Your priorities are all wrong and frankly I think I will stop here, my gut feeling tells me that you are either an internet troll or simply you won't listen to any of our advices. I hope you do change things around though, because it would be sucha waste if you stay the way you are right now and so far I don't see anything that leads me to believe that you will change. You acknowledge you have a problem, but that's about it. You don't seem pumped into looking for a job or anything. Hopefully I am wrong.

Sounds like a guy who has never had an adult relationship, and still thinks about sex like it's the most important aspect of romantic involvement. He's overly generalizing about women because he's never really gotten to know any; all of his attempts at relationships have been cut short (by him) before any real personal knowledge or intimacy could develop.

And he's had everything handed to him all his life, so his only real motivation to get out of mom's basement is the one primal need that isn't being satisfied: sex. For now, at least, loftier goals like independence and self-sufficiency are merely means to that end.

Just be glad that he has *some* motivation to leave the nest. Otherwise, he might stay until that nest is destroyed (mom passes away, or loses her job, or a new step-dad kicks him out). At which point he'd have a very rude awakening, and would probably be in a much worse starting position.

[fb132]

Living with mom is a losers thing. A guy who does not have a place of his own is not even considered an option for most girls, you can't spend all of your times together inside a trashy car from the 1990s or cafes. You need a private place of your own if you know what I mean.

But moving out is a big risk, I could end up wasting my inhered money. So I have to agree.

That is the most dumbest thing I have ever heard. I am seriously wondering if you are a troll. You priotize way too much on what girls think. Living with your mom is nothing to be shamefull about especially where your at, it will help you build some financial stability in the short amount of time and hopefully it will give you wings to fly on your own some day.

Your priorities are way wrong, so far, the biggest priority for you seems to be:
1) Getting laid and getting a girl
2) Getting your own place
3) Getting a job

Your priorities should be in reverse.
Your priorities are all wrong and frankly I think I will stop here, my gut feeling tells me that you are either an internet troll or simply you won't listen to any of our advices. I hope you do change things around though, because it would be sucha waste if you stay the way you are right now and so far I don't see anything that leads me to believe that you will change. You acknowledge you have a problem, but that's about it. You don't seem pumped into looking for a job or anything. Hopefully I am wrong.

Sounds like a guy who has never had an adult relationship, and still thinks about sex like it's the most important aspect of romantic involvement. He's overly generalizing about women because he's never really gotten to know any; all of his attempts at relationships have been cut short (by him) before any real personal knowledge or intimacy could develop.

And he's had everything handed to him all his life, so his only real motivation to get out of mom's basement is the one primal need that isn't being satisfied: sex. For now, at least, loftier goals like independence and self-sufficiency are merely means to that end.

Just be glad that he has *some* motivation to leave the nest. Otherwise, he might stay until that nest is destroyed (mom passes away, or loses her job, or a new step-dad kicks him out). At which point he'd have a very rude awakening, and would probably be in a much worse starting position.

I hope for his sake he does have the motivation, but words and actions are two different things. He can "wish" to have his own place and there is nothing wrong about it, but he needs to learn first and foremost that in order to do that, he has to start handing his resumé NOW, not maybe tomorrow. It has to be any job at this point or he can go back to school using the 40K$ inheritance to get him started if he wants to...anything but staying at home and playing videogames all day long. I was also pointing out how his views about living with his mom feels like the worst thing in life which in my mind is wrong, he has to realize that by staying at home, it will save him alot of money and with work, he can accumulate income faster meaning that his wish of living on his own would be easily achievable down the road. But he can't do that right now, he is in the worst possible situation financially. If he uses up his 40K$ to move out with no job, the end result will be the same as the beginning, he will go back to living with his mom in a couple of years.

Even working at McDonald's at this point would benefit him, he needs something in his resumé and from what I hear, he has nothing which it makes it even harder for someone to hire him, that is why it is important he starts working now or at least go to school and learn a trade.

[HighSkies]

People are hard wired to get a rush from accomplishment. That is why you're playing video games. Shelve the artificial achievement and use those brain chemicals to get some REAL goals met.

I have studied about that subject before. Real life accomplishments require real skills. Video games require real skills too, but they are much easier to acquire.

Troll question, and I doubt you really want help. I think you are bored and looking for attention.

If you had actually READ the rest of my post, that was answered in it.

Sorry if it came off that way. I was asking about your feelings now that you have passed that rather depressing period in your lives.

That is the most dumbest thing I have ever heard. I am seriously wondering if you are a troll. You priotize way too much on what girls think.

More like a logistical obstacle in the dating life, rather than worrying about what some random girl thinks. No house, no fun.

And i do have a plan. Here it is:

1- Complete my CIW course and get the complete certificate.
2- Get an IT job to cover the normal daily expenses and have something to say in my resume [work experience]
2- Hitting the gym
3- Move out
4- Find a related job after finishing the course.
5- Study architecture in my free time

My friends are not a problem, it's our relatives who have a negative influence on my life (gossiping, not minding their own business, talking shit about me etc).

You still don't get it.  Your relatives beliefs and feelings about you have ZERO influence on you.  Who says you have to care about what they think?  How you feel about yourself is 100% within your control.  So if you feel like a loser, it's because you've decided that you are loser.  This has nothing to do with your relatives. Take responsibility for your own mindset: If you DECIDE to feel like a loser, that's fine. But don't blame other people for that decision; it's 100% yours.

It does influence your self image. True, their opinions don't mean shit. But when the gossiping reinforces and confirms the reality, it has a negative effect on your self image.

Sounds like a guy who has never had an adult relationship, and still thinks about sex like it's the most important aspect of romantic involvement. He's overly generalizing about women because he's never really gotten to know any; all of his attempts at relationships have been cut short (by him) before any real personal knowledge or intimacy could develop.

Intimacy is pointless at this point, especially when you know you don't have the means to sustain a serious relationship. If you don't bail out soon enough, you will have to deal with the eventual heartaches and headaches. Do I enjoy this style? No. I want a stable, intimate relationship too, but now it is not possible.

And he's had everything handed to him all his life, so his only real motivation to get out of mom's basement is the one primal need that isn't being satisfied: sex. For now, at least, loftier goals like independence and self-sufficiency are merely means to that end.

The primal instinct, yeah.

Just be glad that he has *some* motivation to leave the nest. Otherwise, he might stay until that nest is destroyed (mom passes away, or loses her job, or a new step-dad kicks him out). At which point he'd have a very rude awakening, and would probably be in a much worse starting position.

The guy does not live with us, I even called him once to ask what kind of relationship they have, and he was afraid of answering the call. It's not an official affair, they are kinda "seeing each other". My mother does not have total ownership of the house. She has partial ownership.

You responded to a lot of people's posts but ignored this one:

[some stuff cut for brevity]
- See girls as people
- See hot girls as people
- See other people as people, and not just NPCs in your video game
- Talk to people

Yes, I will be ignoring such posts.

No you don't. One of he first steps to making progress in this situation is being honest to yourself and others about your situation. To first fix a problem you must acknowledge the problem, not deny its existence.

I'm honest with myself, but I don't feel it is necessesary to expose my weaknesses to others.

You have no right to judge your mother on how she grieves when she is the one that has been providing for you while you've been a bum.

As I said i pay for the food and bills (from my monthly insurance money). I didn't judge, I just said no worries, the absence of my father is not giving her nightmares as she replaced him after a month.

I hope for his sake he does have the motivation, but words and actions are two different things. He can "wish" to have his own place and there is nothing wrong about it, but he needs to learn first and foremost that in order to do that, he has to start handing his resumé NOW, not maybe tomorrow. It has to be any job at this point or he can go back to school using the 40K$ inheritance to get him started if he wants to...anything but staying at home and playing videogames all day long. I was also pointing out how his views about living with his mom feels like the worst thing in life which in my mind is wrong, he has to realize that by staying at home, it will save him alot of money and with work, he can accumulate income faster meaning that his wish of living on his own would be easily achievable down the road. But he can't do that right now, he is in the worst possible situation financially. If he uses up his 40K$ to move out with no job, the end result will be the same as the beginning, he will go back to living with his mom in a couple of years.

Yes, giving up on that one. Your worst case scenario could come true If I move out without working on my general perspective about my life and attitude first.

[mustachianteacher]

Help me to prioritize my tasks and create a step by step plan to get out of this crisis, thanks folks.

First, what exactly is the crisis you want to get out of? Is it that without your father, your mom doesn't have enough income to live on? Is it simply that you can't get a date?  Is being unemployed and living with mom a crisis for you, or is it only a problem because you can't get a date? If you had a girlfriend, would you be fine with everything else as it is?

Your "harsh truth" is just reality for billions (yes, billions) of people, and quite frankly, we're all fine with it, so you need to get over yourself. I think there is great pride in starting with nothing and working your way up. My husband and I were both on our own (read: ZERO financial support in any form) by age 22, and we started out in a small, dark apartment we only visited to sleep because we were both working full-time and I was finish grad school part-time. We knew that our hard work would pay off after a few years, and indeed it did. I won't bore you with the details, but my point is that this is not only a fairly universal life experience, but it's one you can find joy in when you realize it is not pointless. You describe the starting-out phase as if there's no point, no reward, and no value. I disagree wholeheartedly. Life is what you make of it, and you are in charge of what you do with your life. Drop the poor-me mentality because it smacks of spoiled-little-rich-boy drivel, and I can guarantee you no woman (hot or not) alive will find that appealing.

So how do you feel now that it paid off? Has your quality of life improved significantly? Did you achieve any big goals? Or still struggling with the basics and merely capable of supporting yourselves?


I feel great, and heck yeah, our quality of life has improved significantly! We bought a house we still live in, doubled our income, started stashing away money for retirement, paid off our student loans, spent quite a bit fixing up our fixer-upper (work in progress since we pay as we go), had a child, started saving for that child's college education, and we even take vacations now. None of it would be possible without humble beginnings, though, because those humble beginnings created (required) frugal habits, a saver's mentality, and a deep appreciation for the value of working hard and saving hard. So yeah, there's no question life is better.

If I"m being perfectly honest, though, we weren't unhappy when we were living like paupers -- not at all! Occasionally I'd get frustrated by how long it was taking us to reach our dreams, and occasionally I wished we could just go out and spend $50 without thinking carefully about it, but I still feel that way. And, even though I could go blow $50 without royally screwing up the budget, I don't because I value the work and time I did to earn that money, and I don't want to just throw it away on something dumb.

[gimp]

Ironically, Johnny487, you misattributed that post to someone else, when it was me.

OP, you can ignore it all you want, but it's the crux of the issue. You see other people as characters in your story. I wouldn't ignore the accusation if I were you.

Ah, let me rephrase. If I were you, I would, because if I were you, I'd be a narcissist who ignores people calling him out for being a narcissist.

[Cycling Stache]

There have been a lot of strong responses to OP, and I had one as well.  Let me shift it just a bit to make sure the advice is supportive if OP indeed is looking for help to change.

OP, the reason people feel so strongly here is because your posts suggest that you're missing out on a lot of the opportunities that life presents, and seeing many hurdles that aren't nearly as high as you make them out to be.  Look, things aren't all going to go perfectly.  You're going to have some people reject you, you're going to crave attention that might not be reciprocated, you're going to occasionally fantasize about things that you don't have. 

All of that is okay and normal.  What seems to be the issue is the idea that if you just hide in your room and wait it out, maybe everything will suddenly be amazing, and if not, life sucks.  But life doesn't work like that for most people.  You go out, try a few interactions, try a few activities, and slowly start to improve across the board.  Then you start to find people that match up better with you, activities that you enjoy, and maybe some stuff that you're particularly good at.  Very few of those things require much money.

It doesn't mean that you're going to get everything you want.  But try stuff out, and work on expanding your opportunities and skills little by little.  I think most people here agree that there are a lot of good things in life once you seek them out and work towards getting them.  That you don't have them yet just means you need to start moving towards it.  Along the way, you'll probably find that a lot of things you think you want you won't really care about much if you find happiness elsewhere.

The part I have sympathy for is that it's easy to get into a funk about things, and even many of the more successful people here have probably felt stuck at various times in their lives.  But the strong reaction is that you've stumbled onto a forum where people feel strongly about a goal (FI, FIRE, etc.) and are actively working towards it.  So that's why there's less patience for the idea that it's pointless and you just can't get what you want out of life.  Most people here feel the exact opposite, and once you start getting out there, the bet is that you will too.

Good luck, man!  Seriously, good luck.  Life can be fantastic.

[johnny847]

Ironically, Johnny487, you misattributed that post to someone else, when it was me.

OP, you can ignore it all you want, but it's the crux of the issue. You see other people as characters in your story. I wouldn't ignore the accusation if I were you.

Ah, let me rephrase. If I were you, I would, because if I were you, I'd be a narcissist who ignores people calling him out for being a narcissist.

Oops sorry. Fixed.

[Bearded Man]

I only skimmed the thread after the first few posts, but what I didn't see is WHY you have no job. Why you live with your mom still (no job) and no car (no job).

Sorry to tell you this, but I think you need to hear it, as some people are motivated by pain more so than pleasure, but: attractive, desirable women don't want a 30 year old boy who lives with his mom, who likely cooks his meals for him still at that, with no job, never having had a job, and no car. Well, let me take that back, they will for a fling if you have game or are super good looking, but otherwise, forget about it.

[marty998]

There's been some weird threads over the years but this one takes the biscuit.

OP, you are still viewing life as a video game...

And i do have a plan. Here it is:

1- Complete my CIW course and get the complete certificate.
2- Get an IT job to cover the normal daily expenses and have something to say in my resume [work experience]
2- Hitting the gym
3- Move out
4- Find a related job after finishing the course.
5- Study architecture in my free time

Life is not a list of stages to be beaten and then you level up (and have lots of sex as your reward).

Every step of the way you have multiple choices that can take you in multiple directions.

It might work for some people who are single bloody minded with achieving their goals. But since you don't appear to be, please don't limit yourself with linear thinking.

[NoraLenderbee]

If you take those steps you outlined--if you take just one--you will feel considerably better about yourself. And you be able to stop lying (or lie less) about your life--which will also make you feel better about yourself. And that will make you motivated to take the next step. And you can be a bit more honest in your relationships.

Just take the first step.

[Josiecat]

You need to find a job before you can move out.  A landlord will not rent to you if you can't show you have income.  Good luck!

[Inkedup]

My friends are not a problem, it's our relatives who have a negative influence on my life (gossiping, not minding their own business, talking shit about me etc).

You mentioned being from Asia in an earlier post. I am not, but have some relatives who are, and I am familiar with this kind of behavior. It is depressing and disempowering. Negative people will talk shit about you no matter what you do with your life. Although you have no control over their actions and words, you have to realize that they have no control over you either. You need to stop wasting your time and energy stewing over their criticism and focus on getting yourself out of this rut.

As for all this stuff about girls: you need to get your own priorities and life in order before worrying about involving someone else. Some excellent advice has been posted. Get a job. Come up with a plan regarding your finances. Exercise. Read. Take up an enriching hobby. Then see about throwing your hat into the dating ring. Good luck!

[redbird]

HighSkies, I want to tell you a secret that some adults out there don't like to admit. Work sucks. I imagine most people in the world don't have a job that they like or is satisfying to them. You pretty much have these options:

1) Work a job you can do well at.
2) Work a job you can at least tolerate.
3) Work a job that pays well even if it's something you don't particularly like.

That's how I see it anyway.

Even if you don't like IT jobs, the advantage of them is that they are plentiful and you can move up in them so you can make a good amount of money. Yeah, IT jobs aren't always fun and interesting, but work in general most of the time isn't.

Ultimately, you need a job so you can get some sort of money. Once the cash flow is coming in, you should use it smartly. Make sure to put some of it into savings and investments. This is so you'll have money in case something happens (if you lose your job, perhaps) and so your money stash will grow (through investments).

Most people on these forums are trying to discuss financial independence. Financial independence means that you have enough money that working becomes optional. You are very far from financial independence. You need a job so you can get the ability to have independence from your parents. They will not be around forever to support you. Since they are older than you by default, the chances of them dying before you are high. If they die, what will you do then?

[I'm a red panda]

I can attract womenand get dates. However I can't sustain any thing long-term or even short-term[in other words, having a reliable access to sex] because eventually they will see through my lies. That I don't have a job, house and the car belongs to my mom. So I bail out and end it before they find out, in order to not hurt their feelings. No one likes being led on and lied to by a phony liar.

If you have to lie to do it, you CAN'T attract women.

Honestly, it probably isn't even the live with the Mom part. If the guy showed any motivation to be a productive member of society, then living with his Mom while he got his act together is probably mostly fine; or to help support his Mom, if it can be explained that way, women are often okay with it.  But living there, refusing to work because it doesn't seem fun, objectifying women, and overall just expecting handouts is the problem.


The only thing I'm going to add is- seek medical help if you are depressed. A facepunch isn't going to work in that instance.

Living with mom is a losers thing. A guy who does not have a place of his own is not even considered an option for most girls, you can't spend all of your times together inside a trashy car from the 1990s or cafes. You need a private place of your own if you know what I mean.

I'm a woman; you aren't- so the lecture on what women think is kind of strange.  Yeah, a guy who lives with his Mom isn't a great catch; but it certainly isn't a deal breaker if he is an otherwise great guy.
You need a private place if all you think about is sex.  But a JOB is going to be way more important than you own place if you want to find someone to hang out with and build a relationship with. You can figure out the sex part later (teenagers the world over manage to have sex in their parents house; or get a hotel for a special occasion!)  But the way you describe yourself, living with your Mom isn't the problem, you are the problem.  If you lived with your mother but were an otherwise productive member of society who was saving up to get your own place, the narrative is slightly different.

HighSkies, I want to tell you a secret that some adults out there don't like to admit. Work sucks.

Excellent advice.

[Sibley]

Just to give OP some idea of what the women he's trying to attract are looking for. I'm 29, F, and single. What I'm looking for in a man:

1. Good basic hygiene
2. Honesty
3. Integrity (not the same as honesty, though most people use the words interchangeably)
4. Positive attitude
5. Willing and able to provide financially for himself and potentially a family
6. Likes cats

Of those 5 things, from what you've posted, you have one. And it's the easy one.

[Mr Dorothy Dollar]

OP's big issue is he wants more sex, but is unhappy that women want guys that have their stuff together because women want a future. I think OP is unwilling to change his ways. He views work as beneath him. So the only way that OP can solve his sex problem is to lower his standards and alter the member.

OP should do one or more of the below:
- Fat girls
- old women
- widows
- men
- easy women
- dumb women
- get a penis enlargement (about 7K) and use that as his only redeeming feature.
- shave your pubes to make your penis look bigger
- become an escort


 

[fb132]

Just to give OP some idea of what the women he's trying to attract are looking for. I'm 29, F, and single. What I'm looking for in a man:

1. Good basic hygiene
2. Honesty
3. Integrity (not the same as honesty, though most people use the words interchangeably)
4. Positive attitude
5. Willing and able to provide financially for himself and potentially a family
6. Likes cats

Of those 5 things, from what you've posted, you have one. And it's the easy one.

He likes cats??? lol...Oh im going to hell :(

[Sibley]

Just to give OP some idea of what the women he's trying to attract are looking for. I'm 29, F, and single. What I'm looking for in a man:

1. Good basic hygiene
2. Honesty
3. Integrity (not the same as honesty, though most people use the words interchangeably)
4. Positive attitude
5. Willing and able to provide financially for himself and potentially a family
6. Likes cats

Of those 5 things, from what you've posted, you have one. And it's the easy one.

He likes cats??? lol...Oh im going to hell :(

Actually, OP said he was clean so I was going with #1 on him.

And really, I should have said doesn't hate cats. I can deal with no feelings one way or the other. Just can't hate my kitties!

[Bracken_Joy]

Just to give OP some idea of what the women he's trying to attract are looking for. I'm 29, F, and single. What I'm looking for in a man:

1. Good basic hygiene
2. Honesty
3. Integrity (not the same as honesty, though most people use the words interchangeably)
4. Positive attitude
5. Willing and able to provide financially for himself and potentially a family
6. Likes cats

Of those 5 things, from what you've posted, you have one. And it's the easy one.

He likes cats??? lol...Oh im going to hell :(

I laughed. See you there.

[FrogStash]

Just to give OP some idea of what the women he's trying to attract are looking for. I'm 29, F, and single. What I'm looking for in a man:

1. Good basic hygiene
2. Honesty
3. Integrity (not the same as honesty, though most people use the words interchangeably)
4. Positive attitude
5. Willing and able to provide financially for himself and potentially a family
6. Likes cats

Of those 5 things, from what you've posted, you have one. And it's the easy one.

He likes cats??? lol...Oh im going to hell :(

Actually, OP said he was clean so I was going with #1 on him.

And really, I should have said doesn't hate cats. I can deal with no feelings one way or the other. Just can't hate my kitties!

I guess he doesn't have to be able to count to 6?  Am I the only one who sees 6 items in that numbered list?  :-)

[CletusMcGee]

This is some fucking neckbeard shit. I am almost hoping this is a troll.

+1000.  This almost sounds like ChrisChan (Google at your own risk).

But seriously, the only bad thing to do in this situation is nothing at all.  JUST. DO. SOMETHING.  No matter how trivial.

[arebelspy]

MOD NOTE: Thread has degenerated even further, unfortunately, and the earlier warning was apparently ignored.

Sorry some people can't resist being *, OP.  I hope you got some useful advice between the rudeness.

Locking thread.  PM me or any mod with concerns.  Cheers!