Going Back to My Old Employer... Convince Me I Shouldn't

[B L I S S]

Some time ago I had a choice whether or not to leave my job for a new one. All numbers are made up but to make this easy lets say the old job paid $100K, and the new job paid about 50% higher. So new job paid significantly more but on the flip side, I had equity in the old company of about 4x my salary (so in this example, $400K vesting in an additional 3 years time). I decided to bounce because it seemed like more interesting work would be done at the new job and I'd have more potential for career advancement down the line. Figured I could make back what I lost in equity on my own (still looking for that lucrative side hustle lol..pm me).

Anyway, about a year later regret has surfaced and made my heart its new home. New work is interesting, but culture is absolute rancid trash. And diversity is lacking. There is a good chance of gaining good transferable skills at this new place, but zero chance of me advancing within this company (and negative desire to). I reached out to my old director to grab some dinner and am considering discussing my return. I'm in excellent standing with her and the CEO. Likely they would create a position for me if none existed currently. It's no guarantee though.

Has anyone done this? Any advice for or against going back - or even on what to consider? Is it rude to reach out to someone else first before I talk with my old director (there is another VP I'd like to work with rather than going to work with my old director - could she be annoyed by this)? Assuming they do want me back, is it wrong to ask for an even higher salary and equity share than before? I have about 1 week until we meet.

[use2betrix]

I think that if you want to go back you absolutely need to ask for everything you want. Upon hire is always the best time to negotiate these things. If you want to work for a different person, you need to find a way to craft that so it doesn’t come off as wanting to work for someone else for “personality” reasons, but potentially for a different type of reason you’ll need to find.

The fact that you left on good terms and have stayed on good terms, goes a long ways. There’s a company I used to work for that I really enjoyed and left on great terms, but the money will likely never be there.

I do think that if they give you another chance, you should feel an obligation to make it a “long term” ordeal without question.

I would actually suggest if you are considering leaving, that you also test waters elsewhere and see what is available. Get a real feel for potential options in your industry right now, that will help reassure your decision to go back to your old employer.

[undercover]

I do think that if they give you another chance, you should feel an obligation to make it a “long term” ordeal without question.

??? No.

[use2betrix]

I do think that if they give you another chance, you should feel an obligation to make it a “long term” ordeal without question.

??? No.

Not a 20 year thing, but also not be leaving for 20% more pay after 6 months when there’s been no issues with the place he returned to.

[M2 pilot]

I've done this.  Asked for & got more pay.  Also, remember that years that earned vesting, vacation, retirement, etc with the old employer previously count unless the gap in employment with them is longer than the time you were first employed.

[RedmondStash]

I can't say whether you should return to your old employer. But you should absolutely get out of rancid-trash-culture place ASAP, and if returning to your old employer accelerates that, and you're okay there, why not, at least for now?

But you don't owe either employer any particular length of stay. You know they'd drop you like a hot potato if they had a business reason to. Sure, go back to the old place -- and ask for everything you want, but I wouldn't make ultimatums, just ask and see what offer they make, and whether it satisfies you. And stay as long as you're happy there, and leave again if you have reason to.

And -- no, it's not wrong to ask for a higher salary or higher equity share. They can always say no. Most likely they'll counteroffer. There's no immorality to asking for what you want, or even getting it. And there's no immorality to walking away if they don't offer you enough. It's all just business negotiation, and morality doesn't really enter into it, at least on your side. Companies generally have more power than individuals, so any moral implications would be on their side.

Honestly, I think the most important thing is getting the hell out of a toxic workplace. That can really mess you up.

[Lady Stash]

I would suggest looking at other options too.  There was a reason you left your last company.  Those issues are probably still there.  It sounds like you'd much prefer your previous company to your current one but be careful you aren't jumping too quickly to whatever is easiest just to get out of a toxic situation.  It may feel like the best option *right now* but in the grand scheme of things you may be happier somewhere else.  Imagine yourself 10 years down the road...what would you wish you had done?

 If you look around you may find other options you like even more, now that you are a bit wiser on what works for you.  If not, then by all means explore returning to your previous company.  As far as the conversation, I would just mention that you are looking around and exploring options and see what they offer. If you'd rather go back to a different director, then yes I would probably talk with them directly.

[BMP2CPM@gmail.com]

When I was young, I left a company and tried a risky career option. Six months later, I realized I needed to get out of working for the new company.

I contacted my old company and came back to them a few weeks later. But within six months of coming back, my old company was being sold. I really did not like the purchasing company and once again jumped ship. Next job was one of the best of my career.

My point is that things have changed at your old company and things will continue to change at your old company. Keep that in mind for your decision. Good luck.

[MrThatsDifferent]

One of my colleagues just did this. Was loved but then did an MBA, thought grass was greener and bolted. New company had a trash culture and then fired the person as a lay-off. CEO reached out and created a special project role as a short term gig and now it’s morphed into full time back with the company in a new specially created role. The company is happy, but I think the person feels it’s a backwards step, but better safe than sorry, and better the devil you know.

You have nothing to lose to explore, just don’t compromise. Let them know you’d love to return under the right conditions. Name them. If they don’t match, find a company that will. Ball’s in your court.

[Money Badger]

The older and more "experienced" I get, the more that personal history and relationships matter.   We've had lots of people leave and come back to my current shop (especially common in nice technology firms or industry-specific consulting firms).    If you can fix the old Director problem (and other leaders in the old company agree you weren't the previous problem), then I'd say go for it (going back).    The "I'll never work here again" mentality is not a good idea in the world of the gig economy.   Everyone is either an employee or going to be a former employee or a recruit.    The same process of "applying" for a new role, HR paperwork to fill the "req." and transition would happen regardless.   

[SKL-HOU]

I left company A and went to Company B. Because of work culture plus commute, i went back to Company A after 2 months. I could only stay 8 months and left again. Those 8 months were torture. I barely made it and left for company C. There was a reason why i left company A in the first place, it was a major mistake going back.

[Zamboni]

D O N ' T   D O   I T ! ! !

Haha, jk. do what you want. I went back to an old employer once and it didn't work out, but your situation sounds different and your current situation is rancid.

[Missy B]

I haven't done this but one of my clients did. He had friends still in the old company, and he checked in with them about how they felt about the CEO etc and the direction of the company.
He also absolutely asked for more money. They were looking at him for a higher position than he'd held previously, but he would have asked for more, or goodies/ perks, even if it had been back to the old job.

[Rubic]

I've hired people back.  Most recently someone in an IT position.  He left us on good terms (i.e. gave notice, didn't burn any bridges), then found himself in a situation similar to OP's.

He's actually been a better employee since he returned and we're supporting his efforts to gain more skills and job-related certifications.

[cangelosibrown]

I've done this, and am currently extremely happy with where I landed. A little bit different situation than yours -- I had moved around a bit within the company and was with a different manager when I left the company. After a couple years I heard that a former manager that I really enjoyed was looking to expand a team and I reached out. I knew the manager and a few other people on the team, so I could basically be sure it was going to work out. To me culture and your team is everything. More important than the type of work and more important than money. It's the thing that makes going to work ok or not ok. If you can be confident of that, go for it

[DaMa]

Many people did this at the company that I worked for.  It was "known" that leaving and coming back was the only way to get decent pay raises, which were generally limited to 3-4% per year.   There was also a general idea that external candidates were better than internal candidates for positions.

BTW, that company was full of idiots.  So happy I'm FIREd