Getting rid of 90% of your earthly possessions is a real learning experience

[JoJo]

It is a HUGE effort to get a house ready to sell, so I am impressed you got it ready to sell in the time you did.

Thanks.  In hindsight it wasn't  worth it... condo has been on market for 3 weeks now with no offer and I had to drop the price by $25K...  and I missed out on an awesome trip down to Oregon coast.

[RunningWithScissors]

Jumping on the house selling bandwagon here - just closed the sale of my house last night and breathed a huge sigh of relief given the uncertain Canadian market.  I love this house, but it's time to let it go.  Decluttering has been in progress for nearly a year, but we're now selling off the big pieces of furniture and exercise equipment that aren't coming to the new place on the west coast. 

Since neither my husband nor I are collectors, or have overt sentimental attachments to things, it's gone relatively smoothly but there's a couple of items for each of us that have emotional hooks.  Pulling out those barbs and examining the 'why' of the hooks has been an enlightening exercise (a theme recently explored in Cait Flanders' book 'The Year of Less').

Knowing that we'll be moving in three weeks is, in turn, overwhelming and incredibly freeing.  I keep returning to the theme of 'Your Money [or House] or Your Life'.  I want a life. 

[partgypsy]

I've been separated for over 2 years, and divorced for now 3? months. I've been slowly decluttering this whole time but it has been going very slowly. Just going through stuff was emotional hard work. I would end up going in a reverie of my past life, and then viewing in the light of what has happened since, and what WAS really my life? Then trying to figure out what is my current life and does this thing fit with it or would my kids want it at some point.
 

[partgypsy]

Still clearing the first floor, that's the stuff I'm going through.

The attic is untouched. We were together for 25 years and we did this comix anthology together so while a lot of the stuff up there is his stuff, there is also this comic stuff. Especially the correspondence I don't want it thrown out.

I gave him a new deadline. I have a feeling either I or his friends/both will need to intervene to make this happen. It's all well and good to say get a dumpster and throw everything out, but I would prefer not to create increased drama and more bad feelings if it is not necessary. Obviously if another year goes by and it's still this situation I will do that, but not at this point.

[Lulee]

@partgypsy , just a thought (given that I'm not super familiar with your trials and tribulations with your ex, hoping it's helpful).  Could you coordinate with his friends that your ex have a Pod (https://new.pods.com/moving-and-storage) or something like it dropped at your house in a few weeks and his friends will load all his stuff from the attic in it for him?

Tell him & his friends that it's so he can go through this stuff on his own schedule.  You'd have to go up there and pull out anything of yours in advance and you can double-check as they move things out that you didn't miss any of your stuff.  You get your attic cleared and all that emotional weight gone, he gets to take responsibility at a remove and his friends give him a hand during a tough time.

[MountainGal]

Not sure if this will help:  What I did after ex DH moved out/got kicked out is I put all of his belongings into the garage, and left the premise while my sister and BIL supervised the ex retrieving said belongings.

[partgypsy]

Missnancypryor, good point. The stuff in the attic doesn't bug me as much as the stuff downstairs. so I'm dealing with it differently than the downstairs stuff.

I ended up changing the front and back doors with new locks. Both kids have keys to the house. He has asked for a key to the house. At first I was no. B he did point out he does watch the pets when I am away (which I think is fair because they are both our pets, but he moved to a pet free place). Also if I give him a key it will allow him to clear stuff out when I'm at work. That would be much less stressful.
The only reason I don't want to give him a key, don't think he's going to steal or trash stuff, but that it will give him an undue sense of "ownership" in the house. That's the tricky thing about keeping this house. 

[bearandmoose]

No key.  No fear of him claiming any real or imagined share of the house. Find a new pet sitter.

[AccidentalMiser]

"Just about everything you buy is essentially worthless after you buy it." Yes, indeed. I almost feel like I'd like to embroider this on a sampler and hang it on the wall. (Kind of like in the old days everybody had "God Bless Our Home" on the wall.)

I'd buy one of those!  lol

Me, too!  You could make a cottage biz out of selling them on etsy!

[2Birds1Stone]

Currently reading this book. Highly motivated now to throw things away.

We read this with SO, and got rid of 100's of items of clothing, knick knacks, kitchen gadgets, etc.

Definitely feels good to own less shit.

[letsdoit]

I'm quite sure I will retire next year.  I've been OMY'ing way too long (although I've been part time the last 1.5 years).  So I decided to sell my house before the next big dip and decided no way I'm moving my crappy furniture across country.  So I have given 4 van fulls of stuff to various thrift stores, sold only a couple things, had to give away bedroom set and barstools.  It's amazing how no retail value anything has.  I thought I had fair prices and kept reducing but eventually just gave everything away.  Literally 1000's of dollars and now...nothing.  So humbling and freeing and scary all at the same time.  So, I'll be sleeping on the floor for the next 1.5 months until I head on an extended vacation, and live with a friend when I get back, and who knows when I'll finally give notice.

word.
this chinese factory culture has made all that real furniture worthless . oh well, i went thru a phase where i'd be like, 'aww, this was my grandfather's table in 1930'  .  wanna buy it?  no, ok. 
you never or rarely  regret giving things away

[Kyle Schuant]

"Just about everything you buy is essentially worthless after you buy it."

Much of it was worthless before you bought it, too.

I've been in the army and (later) been homeless. When you have to carry everything you own you start to seriously assess what is worthwhile having. It's less than most think.

If you're on a minimalist drive, rather than starting with 100 things and going through them one by one to try to figure out which 90 to toss out, instead just put everything in the discard pile, then select which 10 things you'll keep. It's quicker that way, and less painful.

Most people could start with their emails and online browser bookmarks.