Do you feel like friends just don’t get FI or do you think they actively want to talk you out of something they aren’t pursuing?
I’m a calm kind of person who rarely gets mad, yet find myself so irritated by a conversation by a friend. She knows I’m in a job that I don’t like, though I don’t sit around talking/complaining about it ever – when asked I merely say, yeah it sucks, I have to start job searching – and move the conversation along. Reality is, I’m in a tight industry and it’s a steady gig that pays well, so I’m not just going to leave until the right situation comes along. Out of nowhere she brings it up and starts talking about how I really need to leave my job and join a mutual friend/colleague’s business. Mutual friend is a solo lawyer in NYC. NO WAY the guy could afford to pay me 175k+ and a 8% 401k match like my current job; it’d be more like 50-75k with a % of business I bring in (if anything – could be 0) and no 401k. No thanks.
I don’t discuss money with friends so I just simply say – I’m not looking to take a 50%+ pay cut, I don’t care how much of an “opportunity” this is. Cue the ranting and raving about how money doesn’t matter; I could make a LOT more once I start bringing in business (uh yeah solo lawyers in NYC are a dime a dozen, bringing in business isn’t as automatic as you think and you could bring in nothing for 3 yrs); what’s the money even doing for me anyway. I simply said – uh it’s allowing me to make my money/invest young, so if I want to get out of law at 45 or 50, I can; taking a 50% pay cut now at age 38 voluntarily just slows that down/cuts off that option. Cue more ranting about – and what retire, and do what??
The whole time all I could think was – you moved from law to social work and took like an 80% pay cut, do you want me to do this just bc you did? Do you want me to not max out retirement bc you haven’t for 7 years?
I don’t ever discuss FI with people though I do advocate making/investing your money young so that if 45 or 50 hits and you want to move on from being a lawyer and just own a small (not law) business or pick up a job, you can without worrying about – OMG I have to save for retirement in the next 10 yrs. Do you feel like even the concept of FI scares others shitless bc they start thinking – how could she afford this, she’s my age, I’m no where close – and then subconsciously they start talking you out of it?