Financial Costs & Obligations of Visiting Out of TownFamily

[McCanuck]

We (family of 4) do not have any extended family in the City in which we live.  Our extended family (siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins) are scattered across the country and in, one instance, in a neighbouring country.  We get invited to: a) family reunions b) weddings and c) "visits" with my sibling's family in a neighbouring country.  All of these events involve plane tickets, car rentals, restaurants, and sometimes hotel accommodation. 

We struggle with how to maintain our aspiring Mustachian lifestyle without losing face with the rest of the family.  There seems to be some expectation that if these people come to visit you, you should reciprocate.  We have noticed growing bitterness towards us and our reluctance to participate in these events.  If we do not go to these events it is interpreted as us not valuing family and shirking family responsiblities.  We also suspect that we are being labelled "cheap" and there are many snickers behind our back. 

Sometime ago we made a conscious decision to limit the majority of our vacations to camping in which we could drive in less than 4 hours with our pop-trailer.  We plan to do one trip to Disney and one to the Rockies with the kids.  Because of our "thriftiness," one adult in our household no longer works outside the home (formal employment).  As a result, we have a fairly good quality of life on a day-to-day basis.  If we were to start taking expensive vacations, we believes this would tip the scales and we would probably need two incomes.  Like other good Mustachians, we continue to look for additional cost-cutting measures.

I should also mention that we do have some extended family within 3-4 hours drive of where we live and we bunk down with them when we visit.

Extended family is important to us, but at what cost?  Does anyone else struggle with this issue?  How do you handle it?

[Rebecca Stapler]

Family is important to me, so if we had income that we could put aside for a vacation to see them more, we would. Now that we're living on a very frugal budget, I value family and friends all the more. Taking away materialism has exposed the important stuff in life, which for me are relationships.

We put aside $1,000 a year for a vacation, and even that I'm sure some Mustacians would say we can't afford (we have a lot of student loan debt). We usually vacation with friends or family. We also drive to see family every few months. The flights are a lot less frequent, though, because we don't have any "disposable" income. But it's been almost two years since my husband saw his brother's family, so I think a trip is overdue. It will probably just be my son and husband travelling, though, so we can save $$ on the airfare.

[ch12]

If we do not go to these events it is interpreted as us not valuing family and shirking family responsibilities.  We also suspect that we are being labelled "cheap" and there are many snickers behind our back. 

As a result, we have a fairly good quality of life on a day-to-day basis. 

Quality of life > snickers

Many Mustachians are forging ahead in a situation where their parents or siblings are spendthrifts. I understand that family is an important value, and I agree that this question is something that deserves careful thought.

Happiness is important. Spending time with your kids on a daily basis is worth more than costly time with your extended family once in a while.

[CarDude]

We struggle with how to maintain our aspiring Mustachian lifestyle without losing face with the rest of the family.  There seems to be some expectation that if these people come to visit you, you should reciprocate.  We have noticed growing bitterness towards us and our reluctance to participate in these events.  If we do not go to these events it is interpreted as us not valuing family and shirking family responsiblities.  We also suspect that we are being labelled "cheap" and there are many snickers behind our back. 

It truly depends on how much you value relationships with these folks.

[Rebecca Stapler]

We struggle with how to maintain our aspiring Mustachian lifestyle without losing face with the rest of the family.  There seems to be some expectation that if these people come to visit you, you should reciprocate.  We have noticed growing bitterness towards us and our reluctance to participate in these events.  If we do not go to these events it is interpreted as us not valuing family and shirking family responsiblities.  We also suspect that we are being labelled "cheap" and there are many snickers behind our back. 

It truly depends on how much you value relationships with these folks.

Exactly!

[countdown]

Struggling with the same issue. Gparents are both a plane ride or 8-10 hr drive away. So far, not wanting to travel with young children is universally accepted but I foresee a day that won't be the case. I really don't want to spend limited vacation time and money schlepping to two sets of grandparents every year. Am considering inviting them to come camping with us instead.