Proud to be the oldest of three stable children.
Mom and Dad were Mustachian, made it clear they'd pay for undergrad and grad school if we wanted it. Only one of us (not me) got a masters. Beyond that, we were not to expect a penny for weddings or anything else after college graduation. Mom died when we were 21, 19 and 14. We're now 47, 45, and 40.
Dad was a bit of a hardass. Actually, he had a Great Santini streak that's mellowed over time. All three of us wanted to be financially independent upon graduation and were. We've never taken or received a penny since. My sisters paid for their own weddings. I knew better than to ask if he wanted to host my rehearsal dinner.
Whenever DW says I'm being too hard on our kids, I say I'm a softie compared to my old man. I also point out the adult kids living on either side of us -- two each between 27 and 35 -- and ask her if that's what she wants.
One of my sisters and I heard Dave Ramsey utter his familiar advice of treating kids "not equally but fairly." My sister rolled her eyes and said, "Yeah, Dad believed it was fair to be an equal hardass to all three of us."
It worked.
