Well there was no bonus for me, or anyone at my office, or anyone in the entire region. My review/raise scheduled for March 1 hasn't happened yet either. I've brought it up a few times by this point.
2017 shaped up that I actually made less money than I did in 2016. Even after getting a $13k raise from the initial offer, once you factor in the excessive medical premiums and no bonus I made less. 2018 is looking like it's going to be even worse than 2017 (since I'll be with the new company the full year instead of only 5 months like in 2017).
I should have buffed up my resume and been out of here by this point, but I didn't want to cause too much stress to myself or my household by changing careers at the same time as having our first baby. The baby just screams all night long, so I haven't slept in 5 months and have no time to network or apply to jobs when at home. I also don't have time to do literally anything. The last 5 months have been a living hell at home with no sleep, no hobbies, no intimacy, no nothing but dealing with a crying baby. We have just enough time to cook dinner and clean up, and do laundry, and that all comes at the expense of getting sleep.
The unlimited vacation is a sham, and I'm convinced the company has ulterior motives in offering it. With the new responsibilities there is never any idle time where I can just fuck off and take vacation. There is always urgent stuff that needs attention. But with an unlimited vacation policy they don't have to keep a vacation liability on the books for any of the senior staff, making the books look better. They also won't have to pay out any accrued vacation when someone leaves, because you don't ever accrue any vacation.
I'd like to start abusing the vacation policy and being a lot more lax at work, but the problem is that I have a personal and professional reputation to uphold, and when I do get another job I will likely work with many of the same people in the industry. I don't want to shoot myself in the foot by turning in sloppy work or turning in work late, so I feel obligated to deliver quality work still even though I'm fed up with the company. I don't want to just quit and have a black hole on my resume either, even though I have FU money.
This really sucks. But all I can tell you is...it will get better?
I've got two kids, and the first 2 years were a total wash. It was probably a bit better for my husband, but nursing, pumping, lack of sleep, full time job (with #1), 80% job (with #2), didn't matter so much. With kid #1, I was sick for 5 straight months that first winter. Healthy 30 days from Nov 1 to March 30. With kid #2 I worked slightly fewer hours and got sick less - but seriously, the quality and volume of output? Just. Wasn't. There. We basically tread water for 2 years with each. And then, with both kids, right around age 4 you start coming out of the fog. Now that the little 1 is 6? I feel almost completely human.
So, my advice would be to keep your head down until you are out of the fob. Don't worry too much about switching jobs. Take advantage of flexibility and unlimited PTO. The hardest thing for me for both kids was getting into the habit of walking out the door at 3:30 pm, when I was used to leaving at 5:30 or 6 pm. It feels weird. But you get used to it. The key thing to remember is that when you are there, you are working. You are doing good work. In order for you to do your BEST work you really do need to chill out a bit. Take vacation. Shorter work days. More sleep (as much as possible, anyway, my kids were not good sleepers.) You will NOT be judged poorly for this if you are getting a lot of your work done.
The key to refreshing yourself with a vacation is to just take it. "There's never any time to fuck off." You aren't fucking off. You are taking time off. It might be
- A Friday and a Monday four-day weekend
- A week in Hawaii
- A trip to visit family
The thing is to schedule it. I mean, schedule it, put it on the calendar, and let everyone know it's happening. You don't even need to buy plane tickets, just tell people you did. Don't think that "eh, some day I'm going to just take a Friday off." That, man, never happens.
Finally, for what it's worth, I started interviewing when my kids were 2. Changed jobs when kid #1 was 2.5, interviewed when kid #2 was 2 (ended up not changing at that point). I had a long stretch of no raises, crappy pay, and ended up just cutting my hours way way back because I'm salaried. And yes, that meant leaving early some days. Coming in late on other days.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel - always keep your finger on the local job market pulse, because you never know.