Author Topic: Epic FU money stories  (Read 578664 times)

civil

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #750 on: November 21, 2015, 08:06:21 PM »
Today Mr. Mandalay reminded me of how I left my job prior to this one.

I was in upper echelon customer service for an entertainment company.  I loved the job, I loved my supervisor, and my coworkers were awesome.  However, my supervisor was involved in a very serious car accident and wouldn't be back for months while he was recuperating.  The powers that be did a little shuffling, and so Felicia came to preside over the group.

Felicia was the living embodiment of Dolores Umbridge.  She was all smiles and sweet voice, but she remains the nastiest person it's ever been my misfortune to know.  My group had heard horror stories about her for ages, and now we started to live them.  She wrote people up for the stupidest shit.  How stupid?  Try coming back from lunch 75 SECONDS late (yes, she counted).  Laughing while talking with customers ("you really must be more professional, dear"--this was me BTW).  She wrote one woman up for combing her hair at her desk.  And then of course the "dear."  There were regular outbursts of "Are you KIDDING me?!?!?!" coming over her cube wall.  And God, she nitpicked EVERYTHING, but management backed her up without question.  After roughly a month I didn't know whether I was going to go suicidal or homicidal, even though unlike my coworkers I'd only been written up once.  After Mr. Mandalay heard me coming in from work, slamming my purse on the counter and screaming "GAAAAAH FUCKING FELICIA!!!!" for the twentieth time he said over dinner "if you're that fucking miserable, quit.  We've got enough saved, we'll be okay for a while."

I was still nervous, so I vowed to myself that Felicia would have to do something heinous before I'd pull the trigger.  I only had to wait three days.  Felicia wrote me up for "dressing inappropriately."  This was a call center, so we could wear what we wanted as long as it was clean and in good taste.  I am the most conservative dresser on the planet.  The "inappropriate" garment in question was a University of Virginia sweatshirt.

Why did Felicia find it offensive?

She went to Virginia Tech.

I am TOTALLY not kidding. 

I stood up, ripped up the form and said "I quit."

"Dear, I don't think you can afford to quit," Felicia said.

I still remember beaming and saying "Actually, Felicia, I can" and the stunned look on her face as I left her cube.

I heard later on that Felicia ended up getting transferred to the Kansas City branch of the company.  I wonder how many people she wrote up for wearing Jayhawks shirts ...

At my last job, our on-the-job training included a series of competency exams before we were given access to the computer systems. One exam involved writing some short computer programs, and a grader had to check the security of our programs. I had to get a new grader - the main grader wouldn't pass me because he attended Va Tech and I attended UVA.

I've seen UVA people do this to Hokies, too. Really, people. It's just a school. Let's all get back to making fun of West Virginia already.

PseudoStache

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #751 on: November 21, 2015, 09:03:38 PM »
Haven't seen this movie... but saw the clip on Reddit and immediately thought of this thread...  The numbers are not mustachian, but still....

http://youtu.be/xdfeXqHFmPI
(NSFW: Language....sorry if a repost)

shelivesthedream

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #752 on: November 22, 2015, 03:28:32 AM »
Haven't seen this movie... but saw the clip on Reddit and immediately thought of this thread...  The numbers are not mustachian, but still....

http://youtu.be/xdfeXqHFmPI
(NSFW: Language....sorry if a repost)

Love this! I wish that everyone aspired to be in the position of fuck you, if not to RE. I think the world would be better if people weren't so afraid.

nobodyspecial

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #753 on: November 22, 2015, 08:33:24 AM »
- the main grader wouldn't pass me because he attended Va Tech and I attended UVA.
That must be a real problem for them, if you want the best scientists and engineers in the world working on your project but half went to VaT and half went to UVA and you can only pick one.

Presumably you have to hope that the second raters who went to Cambridge/MIT/Caltech will happily work with those losers who only got into Oxford/Harvard/Stanford.

shelivesthedream

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #754 on: November 22, 2015, 09:30:16 AM »
- the main grader wouldn't pass me because he attended Va Tech and I attended UVA.
That must be a real problem for them, if you want the best scientists and engineers in the world working on your project but half went to VaT and half went to UVA and you can only pick one.

Presumably you have to hope that the second raters who went to Cambridge/MIT/Caltech will happily work with those losers who only got into Oxford/Harvard/Stanford.

My husband went to two traditionally rival universities for undergrad and postgrad. It fucks with your mind. (We met during undergrad. The first university was clearly better.)

civil

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #755 on: November 24, 2015, 04:10:58 PM »
- the main grader wouldn't pass me because he attended Va Tech and I attended UVA.
That must be a real problem for them, if you want the best scientists and engineers in the world working on your project but half went to VaT and half went to UVA and you can only pick one.

Presumably you have to hope that the second raters who went to Cambridge/MIT/Caltech will happily work with those losers who only got into Oxford/Harvard/Stanford.

My husband went to two traditionally rival universities for undergrad and postgrad. It fucks with your mind. (We met during undergrad. The first university was clearly better.)

Ha! That's awesome.
I find it's much easier to deal with the people who never cared about football. So many of these rivalries are about football. When dealing with VT football fans, I've had some success with pretending to not know what American football is. Then it's no fun to talk about it :)

Rollin

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #756 on: November 24, 2015, 04:31:06 PM »
Haven't seen this movie... but saw the clip on Reddit and immediately thought of this thread...  The numbers are not mustachian, but still....

http://youtu.be/xdfeXqHFmPI
(NSFW: Language....sorry if a repost)

Hadn't seen that.  That is good!
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SwordGuy

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #757 on: November 24, 2015, 05:19:41 PM »
When dealing with VT football fans, I've had some success with pretending to not know what American football is. Then it's no fun to talk about it :)

I don't give a rat's ass about collegiate or professional sports.   They could disappear from the face of the earth and I wouldn't notice if not for all the unhappy whining about it.

Despite not caring one whit, I can't help but have learned many of the names of the different teams and (approximately) which season is which sport, purely by osmosis.

So, if they start talking about football I'll ask a question like, "Football?  That's the big orange ball, isn't it?"
It really stops them cold and they don't bother me about this stuff anymore.

Well, most of them don't.  If they are really obnoxious about it, I'll make a comment like "Well, my sense of self worth isn't attached to how well a bunch of strangers carry a piece of dead pig across a field."

That's a real conversation stopper.


Faraday

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #758 on: November 24, 2015, 10:51:41 PM »
I don't give a rat's ass about collegiate or professional sports.   They could disappear from the face of the earth and I wouldn't notice if not for all the unhappy whining about it.

+1, sons too. I'm incensed at the thought that the NFL runs tax free.
FIRE in 2020.

Chaplin

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #759 on: November 24, 2015, 10:57:44 PM »
So, if they start talking about football I'll ask a question like, "Football?  That's the big orange ball, isn't it?"
It really stops them cold and they don't bother me about this stuff anymore.

Well, most of them don't.  If they are really obnoxious about it, I'll make a comment like "Well, my sense of self worth isn't attached to how well a bunch of strangers carry a piece of dead pig across a field."

That's a real conversation stopper.

I love messing with people this way. When a team is referenced, asking if it's the game where they have to bounce a lot, or the one with the weirdly shaped ball, is fun too.

RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #760 on: November 24, 2015, 11:20:21 PM »
I love messing with people this way. When a team is referenced, asking if it's the game where they have to bounce a lot, or the one with the weirdly shaped ball, is fun too.

What's the one where they have to bounce a lot?  Is there a women's division?

Gray Matter

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #761 on: November 25, 2015, 04:25:41 AM »
I don't give a rat's ass about collegiate or professional sports.   They could disappear from the face of the earth and I wouldn't notice if not for all the unhappy whining about it.

Despite not caring one whit, I can't help but have learned many of the names of the different teams and (approximately) which season is which sport, purely by osmosis.

So, if they start talking about football I'll ask a question like, "Football?  That's the big orange ball, isn't it?"
It really stops them cold and they don't bother me about this stuff anymore.

Well, most of them don't.  If they are really obnoxious about it, I'll make a comment like "Well, my sense of self worth isn't attached to how well a bunch of strangers carry a piece of dead pig across a field."

That's a real conversation stopper.

Swoon!  (Sorry, I have a thing for guys who care not one whit--or rat's ass worth--about sports.)

Rollin

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #762 on: November 25, 2015, 06:03:50 AM »
When dealing with VT football fans, I've had some success with pretending to not know what American football is. Then it's no fun to talk about it :)

I don't give a rat's ass about collegiate or professional sports.   They could disappear from the face of the earth and I wouldn't notice if not for all the unhappy whining about it.

Despite not caring one whit, I can't help but have learned many of the names of the different teams and (approximately) which season is which sport, purely by osmosis.

So, if they start talking about football I'll ask a question like, "Football?  That's the big orange ball, isn't it?"
It really stops them cold and they don't bother me about this stuff anymore.

Well, most of them don't.  If they are really obnoxious about it, I'll make a comment like "Well, my sense of self worth isn't attached to how well a bunch of strangers carry a piece of dead pig across a field."

That's a real conversation stopper.

A real annoyance huh?  Sounds like fun poking holes in other people's enjoyment.  Must be a blast hanging out with you.

Sorry for the extra foam...now on to Epic FU stories...

Not epic, but still building mine (i.e., FU money) and could go this very moment, but want to wait and see how the taxes shake out towards the end of the year.  Thankfully, it is a great place to work, but it is still a place that robs me of other options.  For example, today I am looking out at a beautiful clear sky and temps about 65F, yet I am at "work."  Would rather be our riding the bicycle, walking the dog, cruising the boat or motorcycle, hanging out with the family.  Ah soon - April 2016!
« Last Edit: November 25, 2015, 06:08:05 AM by Rollin »
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bernardnb

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #763 on: November 25, 2015, 07:54:53 AM »
Quote
+1, sons too. I'm incensed at the thought that the NFL runs tax free.

It's only the administrative arm of the league that doesn't pay tax (and even that is over after this year).  The vast majority of the revenues are driven by the teams (tickets, merchandise and the HUGE tv deal).  The teams are not tax-exempt.

Moustaches

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #764 on: November 25, 2015, 08:23:26 AM »
Worked as a mid-level manager at a Federal agency.  Organization did poorly on an inspection and inspectors pointed at a number of poor decisions by our Director-level leadership as the root cause.  Numerous subordinates brought the exact same issues to them prior to the inspection but the Directors always knew better.  They had a habit of taking credit for success and pushing blame for failures to others and were stressful people to work for, so I had already been looking at my options and planning an exit strategy.

Get called into a private meeting with one of the Directors who asked me to write a letter to HR saying it was my fault we did poorly on the inspection and request a demotion to a lower graded position because I was in over my head.  I declined.  He said that if I didn't then I would be let go.  I reminded him that I passed my probationary period and they had to prove cause to fire me (after the 1 year probationary period, you're supposed to have job protection).  The Director said that he had already talked to HR, that they can play paperwork games and let me go as a non-disciplinary action that would bypass the protections I'm supposed to get (unethical but not surprising from these people).  I told him to go ahead and do that. 

He was like, "No, you don't understand, we want to keep you.  You can keep doing the same stuff you are now but at the lower position.  In a couple years we can promote you back."

I said, yes, I understand that and, no, I will not write that letter to HR.  That I'd rather get let go than keep working for him.  Needless to say, he wasn't happy.

They do the non-disciplinary action and give me 30-day notice of termination.  Then they take away all of my job duties and move me into, essentially, a converted closet to work out of for the last 30 days.  I don't argue the move and use the 30 days to finish a bunch of coursework that had built up in a correspondence course I was taking.  Then HR notifies me that they will not give me the (mediocre) severance payment because I was being let go for poor performance.  I remind them that it was their choice to use the "non-disciplinary" method to let me go and, if they use that method, I get the severance.  I mentioned a few of the methods I could escalate the issue (congressional complaint, etc) and they quietly gave me the severance.

This is where the planning and exit strategy came into play.  Thanks to the non-disciplinary type of termination, I qualified for unemployment.  Thanks to qualifying for unemployment, I could sell the bank-owned foreclosure I had bought and fixed up a year prior for $120k profit and not pay taxes (usually you have to live in the property for 2 years to get the profit tax free).  I had also already lined up a place I could live for an extended period rent-free. 

So, in the end, I got $120k real estate profit tax-free.  I chilled out on unemployment for a bit over a year (this was during the downturn and I think unemployment lasted for 99 weeks or so), relaxed, traveled a bit, hung out with friends and played lots of video games.  I applied for jobs but only stuff that paid well and looked interesting, I was pretty picky.  Between unemployment and passive income, I was actually cash positive by about $3.5k/month.  A bit after a year one of the interesting jobs panned out and I've been doing that ever since.  Unhappy about all the shenanigans that happened but very happy of the line of action I took and being able to say FU.

Well played, sir!  I am quitting my job right now and the last straw was when my boss tried to blame me for something that happened.  I have this theory that there are certain types of people that are able to climb the ladder in organizations, and one strategy is learning how to manipulate the situation in order to have blame fall on others.  Usually, this is the strategy of incompetent people who aren't able to get by on their successes.
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Sibley

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #765 on: November 25, 2015, 09:43:20 AM »
When dealing with VT football fans, I've had some success with pretending to not know what American football is. Then it's no fun to talk about it :)

I don't give a rat's ass about collegiate or professional sports.   They could disappear from the face of the earth and I wouldn't notice if not for all the unhappy whining about it.

Despite not caring one whit, I can't help but have learned many of the names of the different teams and (approximately) which season is which sport, purely by osmosis.

So, if they start talking about football I'll ask a question like, "Football?  That's the big orange ball, isn't it?"
It really stops them cold and they don't bother me about this stuff anymore.

Well, most of them don't.  If they are really obnoxious about it, I'll make a comment like "Well, my sense of self worth isn't attached to how well a bunch of strangers carry a piece of dead pig across a field."

That's a real conversation stopper.

A real annoyance huh?  Sounds like fun poking holes in other people's enjoyment.  Must be a blast hanging out with you.

Try talking about something else.

REAL WORLD EXPAT

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #766 on: November 25, 2015, 10:34:21 AM »

If he moves me anyway, when I resign next spring, I will tell him that it was because he moved my office just to mess with him...

Nice. made me chuckle.

Not an FU story but on a similar theme when I quit the last job I had I told them it was because they hired another British person (I live in the US). I'd been looking for another job for a while and it was just pure coincidence that the day I planned on handing in my notice HR is introducing this other British expat on his first day. Purely for shits and giggles when I handed my notice in to my boss that afternoon when he got in the office I told him it was because they hired another British person and that was my thing here in the company. They even went as far as saying they'd let the other guy go and which point I told them the fact they'd even thought about brining in another British person in was enough and I felt hurt and was obviously not fulfilling the token British guy role adequately (plus I did not want the new guy to lose his job here as I was leaving anyhow). Worked my notice and left, to this day they think that is the reason I left!   

Cookie78

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #767 on: November 25, 2015, 10:41:11 AM »

If he moves me anyway, when I resign next spring, I will tell him that it was because he moved my office just to mess with him...

Nice. made me chuckle.

Not an FU story but on a similar theme when I quit the last job I had I told them it was because they hired another British person (I live in the US). I'd been looking for another job for a while and it was just pure coincidence that the day I planned on handing in my notice HR is introducing this other British expat on his first day. Purely for shits and giggles when I handed my notice in to my boss that afternoon when he got in the office I told him it was because they hired another British person and that was my thing here in the company. They even went as far as saying they'd let the other guy go and which point I told them the fact they'd even thought about brining in another British person in was enough and I felt hurt and was obviously not fulfilling the token British guy role adequately (plus I did not want the new guy to lose his job here as I was leaving anyhow). Worked my notice and left, to this day they think that is the reason I left!

LOL

secondcor521

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #768 on: November 25, 2015, 11:35:20 AM »
We have a new "health and well-being" initiative at my company...there are signs up all over the place recommending we take the stairs instead of the elevator, more of those anti-germ handwash things installed at the top and bottom of all stairways.  They have also put up signs at the top and bottom of the stairways saying you "must" use the handrails.  I get personal safety and the potential company liability, but the word "must" goes beyond my limits of reasonableness.  I'm thinking about using that as the reason for my leaving.  Not particularly epic, but the last few posts here reminded me of it.

(Real reason is FU/FIRE money plus dissatisfaction with management.)
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RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #769 on: November 25, 2015, 11:45:01 AM »

If he moves me anyway, when I resign next spring, I will tell him that it was because he moved my office just to mess with him...

Nice. made me chuckle.

Not an FU story but on a similar theme when I quit the last job I had I told them it was because they hired another British person (I live in the US). I'd been looking for another job for a while and it was just pure coincidence that the day I planned on handing in my notice HR is introducing this other British expat on his first day. Purely for shits and giggles when I handed my notice in to my boss that afternoon when he got in the office I told him it was because they hired another British person and that was my thing here in the company. They even went as far as saying they'd let the other guy go and which point I told them the fact they'd even thought about brining in another British person in was enough and I felt hurt and was obviously not fulfilling the token British guy role adequately (plus I did not want the new guy to lose his job here as I was leaving anyhow). Worked my notice and left, to this day they think that is the reason I left!

While not FU, that's my favorite story yet, that's hilarious.  That poor guy, I wonder if word got around about you leaving over him and if there was any resentment towards him from others.

RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #770 on: November 25, 2015, 11:47:28 AM »
We have a new "health and well-being" initiative at my company...there are signs up all over the place recommending we take the stairs instead of the elevator, more of those anti-germ handwash things installed at the top and bottom of all stairways.  They have also put up signs at the top and bottom of the stairways saying you "must" use the handrails.  I get personal safety and the potential company liability, but the word "must" goes beyond my limits of reasonableness.  I'm thinking about using that as the reason for my leaving.  Not particularly epic, but the last few posts here reminded me of it.

(Real reason is FU/FIRE money plus dissatisfaction with management.)

Haha do it, don't tell them the 'must' bothers you, just that you don't like using handrails so you can't work there anymore.

'why are you leaving?'
'i don't like using handrails on stairs'
'so don't...'
'but i must, the signs say so, so I have no choice but to leave'

Then see if you can convince them to take the signs down.  Then leave.

And report back if you do!

Kitsune

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #771 on: November 25, 2015, 12:02:14 PM »
We have a new "health and well-being" initiative at my company...there are signs up all over the place recommending we take the stairs instead of the elevator, more of those anti-germ handwash things installed at the top and bottom of all stairways.  They have also put up signs at the top and bottom of the stairways saying you "must" use the handrails.  I get personal safety and the potential company liability, but the word "must" goes beyond my limits of reasonableness.  I'm thinking about using that as the reason for my leaving.  Not particularly epic, but the last few posts here reminded me of it.

(Real reason is FU/FIRE money plus dissatisfaction with management.)

Oh, gawd, those health initiatives. Combined with a few people who always get SUPER enthusiastic and who start browbeating everyone else over it. Ugh.

From the asshats at my last office:

"Take the stairs! It's healthier!" No. It's 8am, I don't have the enthusiasm, and the physio appointments have only slightly helped with my hip pain and NO I don't wanna discuss my health with you.

"Are you eating THAT? It's not healthy!" No, it's not healthy, but I am 5 weeks pregnant, nauseous as hell, and am likely to puke on your shoes if I have to smell what you're eating. Right at that moment, crackers, pickles, and blueberries are what stayed down, so that was lunch. Forgive me if I didn't discuss the details of my reproductive and digestive system with the lunch police.

Something about encouraging a lack of boundaries in the workplace just never seems to end well.

The actual reason I left: my boss yelled at me for not wearing heels to a conference where I had to stand up all day, while 8 months pregnant and the approximate size of a small house. Bite me, I quit.

Cookie78

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #772 on: November 25, 2015, 12:07:07 PM »
We have a new "health and well-being" initiative at my company...there are signs up all over the place recommending we take the stairs instead of the elevator, more of those anti-germ handwash things installed at the top and bottom of all stairways.  They have also put up signs at the top and bottom of the stairways saying you "must" use the handrails.  I get personal safety and the potential company liability, but the word "must" goes beyond my limits of reasonableness.  I'm thinking about using that as the reason for my leaving.  Not particularly epic, but the last few posts here reminded me of it.

(Real reason is FU/FIRE money plus dissatisfaction with management.)

Oh, gawd, those health initiatives. Combined with a few people who always get SUPER enthusiastic and who start browbeating everyone else over it. Ugh.

From the asshats at my last office:

"Take the stairs! It's healthier!" No. It's 8am, I don't have the enthusiasm, and the physio appointments have only slightly helped with my hip pain and NO I don't wanna discuss my health with you.

"Are you eating THAT? It's not healthy!" No, it's not healthy, but I am 5 weeks pregnant, nauseous as hell, and am likely to puke on your shoes if I have to smell what you're eating. Right at that moment, crackers, pickles, and blueberries are what stayed down, so that was lunch. Forgive me if I didn't discuss the details of my reproductive and digestive system with the lunch police.

Something about encouraging a lack of boundaries in the workplace just never seems to end well.

The actual reason I left: my boss yelled at me for not wearing heels to a conference where I had to stand up all day, while 8 months pregnant and the approximate size of a small house. Bite me, I quit.

HO-LEE FUCK! That's not acceptable behavior by your boss in my world, EVEN IF you weren't a single one of the things you listed.

mtn

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #773 on: November 25, 2015, 12:11:56 PM »
We have a new "health and well-being" initiative at my company...there are signs up all over the place recommending we take the stairs instead of the elevator, more of those anti-germ handwash things installed at the top and bottom of all stairways.  They have also put up signs at the top and bottom of the stairways saying you "must" use the handrails.  I get personal safety and the potential company liability, but the word "must" goes beyond my limits of reasonableness.  I'm thinking about using that as the reason for my leaving.  Not particularly epic, but the last few posts here reminded me of it.

(Real reason is FU/FIRE money plus dissatisfaction with management.)

Oh, gawd, those health initiatives. Combined with a few people who always get SUPER enthusiastic and who start browbeating everyone else over it. Ugh.

From the asshats at my last office:

"Take the stairs! It's healthier!" No. It's 8am, I don't have the enthusiasm, and the physio appointments have only slightly helped with my hip pain and NO I don't wanna discuss my health with you.

"Are you eating THAT? It's not healthy!" No, it's not healthy, but I am 5 weeks pregnant, nauseous as hell, and am likely to puke on your shoes if I have to smell what you're eating. Right at that moment, crackers, pickles, and blueberries are what stayed down, so that was lunch. Forgive me if I didn't discuss the details of my reproductive and digestive system with the lunch police.

Something about encouraging a lack of boundaries in the workplace just never seems to end well.

The actual reason I left: my boss yelled at me for not wearing heels to a conference where I had to stand up all day, while 8 months pregnant and the approximate size of a small house. Bite me, I quit.

HO-LEE FUCK! That's not acceptable behavior by your boss in my world, EVEN IF you weren't a single one of the things you listed.

Actually, I think that might fall into the realm of sexual harassment.

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #774 on: November 25, 2015, 12:20:20 PM »
We have a new "health and well-being" initiative at my company...there are signs up all over the place recommending we take the stairs instead of the elevator, more of those anti-germ handwash things installed at the top and bottom of all stairways.  They have also put up signs at the top and bottom of the stairways saying you "must" use the handrails.  I get personal safety and the potential company liability, but the word "must" goes beyond my limits of reasonableness.  I'm thinking about using that as the reason for my leaving.  Not particularly epic, but the last few posts here reminded me of it.

(Real reason is FU/FIRE money plus dissatisfaction with management.)

Oh, gawd, those health initiatives. Combined with a few people who always get SUPER enthusiastic and who start browbeating everyone else over it. Ugh.

From the asshats at my last office:

"Take the stairs! It's healthier!" No. It's 8am, I don't have the enthusiasm, and the physio appointments have only slightly helped with my hip pain and NO I don't wanna discuss my health with you.

"Are you eating THAT? It's not healthy!" No, it's not healthy, but I am 5 weeks pregnant, nauseous as hell, and am likely to puke on your shoes if I have to smell what you're eating. Right at that moment, crackers, pickles, and blueberries are what stayed down, so that was lunch. Forgive me if I didn't discuss the details of my reproductive and digestive system with the lunch police.

Something about encouraging a lack of boundaries in the workplace just never seems to end well.

The actual reason I left: my boss yelled at me for not wearing heels to a conference where I had to stand up all day, while 8 months pregnant and the approximate size of a small house. Bite me, I quit.

HO-LEE FUCK! That's not acceptable behavior by your boss in my world, EVEN IF you weren't a single one of the things you listed.

Actually, I think that might fall into the realm of sexual harassment.

It certainly isn't reasonable workplace accommodation for a pregnant employee.  I'm very sorry this happened to you.  :(
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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #775 on: November 25, 2015, 12:25:47 PM »
We have a new "health and well-being" initiative at my company...there are signs up all over the place recommending we take the stairs instead of the elevator, more of those anti-germ handwash things installed at the top and bottom of all stairways.  They have also put up signs at the top and bottom of the stairways saying you "must" use the handrails.  I get personal safety and the potential company liability, but the word "must" goes beyond my limits of reasonableness.  I'm thinking about using that as the reason for my leaving.  Not particularly epic, but the last few posts here reminded me of it.

(Real reason is FU/FIRE money plus dissatisfaction with management.)

Oh, gawd, those health initiatives. Combined with a few people who always get SUPER enthusiastic and who start browbeating everyone else over it. Ugh.

From the asshats at my last office:

"Take the stairs! It's healthier!" No. It's 8am, I don't have the enthusiasm, and the physio appointments have only slightly helped with my hip pain and NO I don't wanna discuss my health with you.

"Are you eating THAT? It's not healthy!" No, it's not healthy, but I am 5 weeks pregnant, nauseous as hell, and am likely to puke on your shoes if I have to smell what you're eating. Right at that moment, crackers, pickles, and blueberries are what stayed down, so that was lunch. Forgive me if I didn't discuss the details of my reproductive and digestive system with the lunch police.

Something about encouraging a lack of boundaries in the workplace just never seems to end well.

The actual reason I left: my boss yelled at me for not wearing heels to a conference where I had to stand up all day, while 8 months pregnant and the approximate size of a small house. Bite me, I quit.

HO-LEE FUCK! That's not acceptable behavior by your boss in my world, EVEN IF you weren't a single one of the things you listed.

Actually, I think that might fall into the realm of sexual harassment.

It certainly isn't reasonable workplace accommodation for a pregnant employee.  I'm very sorry this happened to you.  :(

FTFY.

There is a difference in saying that you need to dress professionally, and you need to wear heels.

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #776 on: November 25, 2015, 01:58:41 PM »
We have a new "health and well-being" initiative at my company...there are signs up all over the place recommending we take the stairs instead of the elevator, more of those anti-germ handwash things installed at the top and bottom of all stairways.  They have also put up signs at the top and bottom of the stairways saying you "must" use the handrails.  I get personal safety and the potential company liability, but the word "must" goes beyond my limits of reasonableness.  I'm thinking about using that as the reason for my leaving.  Not particularly epic, but the last few posts here reminded me of it.

(Real reason is FU/FIRE money plus dissatisfaction with management.)

Haha do it, don't tell them the 'must' bothers you, just that you don't like using handrails so you can't work there anymore.

'why are you leaving?'
'i don't like using handrails on stairs'
'so don't...'
'but i must, the signs say so, so I have no choice but to leave'

Then see if you can convince them to take the signs down.  Then leave.

And report back if you do!

Funnier.  And tempting.
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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #777 on: November 25, 2015, 03:43:14 PM »
Today Mr. Mandalay reminded me of how I left my job prior to this one.

I was in upper echelon customer service for an entertainment company.  I loved the job, I loved my supervisor, and my coworkers were awesome.  However, my supervisor was involved in a very serious car accident and wouldn't be back for months while he was recuperating.  The powers that be did a little shuffling, and so Felicia came to preside over the group.

Felicia was the living embodiment of Dolores Umbridge.  She was all smiles and sweet voice, but she remains the nastiest person it's ever been my misfortune to know.  My group had heard horror stories about her for ages, and now we started to live them.  She wrote people up for the stupidest shit.  How stupid?  Try coming back from lunch 75 SECONDS late (yes, she counted).  Laughing while talking with customers ("you really must be more professional, dear"--this was me BTW).  She wrote one woman up for combing her hair at her desk.  And then of course the "dear."  There were regular outbursts of "Are you KIDDING me?!?!?!" coming over her cube wall.  And God, she nitpicked EVERYTHING, but management backed her up without question.  After roughly a month I didn't know whether I was going to go suicidal or homicidal, even though unlike my coworkers I'd only been written up once.  After Mr. Mandalay heard me coming in from work, slamming my purse on the counter and screaming "GAAAAAH FUCKING FELICIA!!!!" for the twentieth time he said over dinner "if you're that fucking miserable, quit.  We've got enough saved, we'll be okay for a while."

I was still nervous, so I vowed to myself that Felicia would have to do something heinous before I'd pull the trigger.  I only had to wait three days.  Felicia wrote me up for "dressing inappropriately."  This was a call center, so we could wear what we wanted as long as it was clean and in good taste.  I am the most conservative dresser on the planet.  The "inappropriate" garment in question was a University of Virginia sweatshirt.

Why did Felicia find it offensive?

She went to Virginia Tech.

I am TOTALLY not kidding. 

I stood up, ripped up the form and said "I quit."

"Dear, I don't think you can afford to quit," Felicia said.

I still remember beaming and saying "Actually, Felicia, I can" and the stunned look on her face as I left her cube.

I heard later on that Felicia ended up getting transferred to the Kansas City branch of the company.  I wonder how many people she wrote up for wearing Jayhawks shirts ...

The only thing that would have made it better is if you had fired back some southern sass at her 'dear'ing you. A little "oh, sweetie, bless your heart, but I think I can afford to quit. Toodle ooh" said in a way that sounds sweet, but really tells her ' go F yourself PEACE OUT!'


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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #778 on: November 25, 2015, 05:57:46 PM »
Today Mr. Mandalay reminded me of how I left my job prior to this one.

I was in upper echelon customer service for an entertainment company.  I loved the job, I loved my supervisor, and my coworkers were awesome.  However, my supervisor was involved in a very serious car accident and wouldn't be back for months while he was recuperating.  The powers that be did a little shuffling, and so Felicia came to preside over the group.

Felicia was the living embodiment of Dolores Umbridge.  She was all smiles and sweet voice, but she remains the nastiest person it's ever been my misfortune to know.  My group had heard horror stories about her for ages, and now we started to live them.  She wrote people up for the stupidest shit.  How stupid?  Try coming back from lunch 75 SECONDS late (yes, she counted).  Laughing while talking with customers ("you really must be more professional, dear"--this was me BTW).  She wrote one woman up for combing her hair at her desk.  And then of course the "dear."  There were regular outbursts of "Are you KIDDING me?!?!?!" coming over her cube wall.  And God, she nitpicked EVERYTHING, but management backed her up without question.  After roughly a month I didn't know whether I was going to go suicidal or homicidal, even though unlike my coworkers I'd only been written up once.  After Mr. Mandalay heard me coming in from work, slamming my purse on the counter and screaming "GAAAAAH FUCKING FELICIA!!!!" for the twentieth time he said over dinner "if you're that fucking miserable, quit.  We've got enough saved, we'll be okay for a while."

I was still nervous, so I vowed to myself that Felicia would have to do something heinous before I'd pull the trigger.  I only had to wait three days.  Felicia wrote me up for "dressing inappropriately."  This was a call center, so we could wear what we wanted as long as it was clean and in good taste.  I am the most conservative dresser on the planet.  The "inappropriate" garment in question was a University of Virginia sweatshirt.

Why did Felicia find it offensive?

She went to Virginia Tech.

I am TOTALLY not kidding. 

I stood up, ripped up the form and said "I quit."

"Dear, I don't think you can afford to quit," Felicia said.

I still remember beaming and saying "Actually, Felicia, I can" and the stunned look on her face as I left her cube.

I heard later on that Felicia ended up getting transferred to the Kansas City branch of the company.  I wonder how many people she wrote up for wearing Jayhawks shirts ...

The only thing that would have made it better is if you had fired back some southern sass at her 'dear'ing you. A little "oh, sweetie, bless your heart, but I think I can afford to quit. Toodle ooh" said in a way that sounds sweet, but really tells her ' go F yourself PEACE OUT!'

Beautiful! Although I would have ended it with "Bye Felicia" as I was walking out the door, but that's just me.

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #779 on: November 25, 2015, 07:46:12 PM »
...The "inappropriate" garment in question was a University of Virginia sweatshirt.

Why did Felicia find it offensive?

She went to Virginia Tech.

I am TOTALLY not kidding. 

I stood up, ripped up the form and said "I quit."

"Dear, I don't think you can afford to quit," Felicia said.

I still remember beaming and saying "Actually, Felicia, I can" and the stunned look on her face as I left her cube.

Tell her that the company was paying you a special U of Virginia bonus

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #780 on: November 26, 2015, 02:50:38 PM »
My buddy told a story at Thanksgiving about a coworker who quit by taking a dump on his boss's keyboard and leaving a note.

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #781 on: November 30, 2015, 09:15:37 AM »
My buddy told a story at Thanksgiving about a coworker who quit by taking a dump on his boss's keyboard and leaving a note.

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #782 on: November 30, 2015, 02:15:56 PM »
Long time lurker first time poster:

My FU money story:  New management took over, and my role became more and more demanding.  They would consistently keep pushing me and my team to do things I did not agree with and I did not feel was the right path to getting the job done. They never stepped foot in our area and didn't understand the dynamics of our facility.  I would write long emails and have discussions with my managers in regards to a better way to accomplish our goals, they would get completely ignored, and they continued to push their own agendas. This just kept leading to more and more stress, frustration, and dissatisfaction in my job.  Eventually I decided something needs to change. I have plenty of FU money and at this point did not care if I lost my job or not. I set up a meeting with my managers, told them that they need to listen to their employees, the ones who are actually working in the field and know how to get the job done and that they need to stop ignoring me. If this is not something that they are willing to do, then they should stop wasting my and their time, let me know and I will hand in my resignation. Since then, they have taken my recommendations, our team is more successful than ever, and my job is much more satisfying. Even my managers look good due to our recent success.

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #783 on: November 30, 2015, 11:21:12 PM »
...Since then, they have taken my recommendations, our team is more successful than ever, and my job is much more satisfying. Even my managers look good due to our recent success.

Shit, I wish my managers would have reacted the same way as your managers did.

Two of my managers have basically told me if I don't like the way they are (mis)managing me and my team, "The door's always open".

While I have some FU money, I have for the past few months chosen to not resign and spend any of that FU money, endure the frustration and dissatisfaction, and look for other opportunities. Unfortunately, any other opportunity in my profession involves moving, and I'd rather not do that either. The proverbial rock and a hard place. On the other hand, any other opportunity in my field would also likely involve a significantly higher salary, so there's that...

I've basically decided to stop actively looking for another opportunity. I think I'll wait six months or a year, take a nice long vacation, resign, resume looking for another opportunity, and move, either with a new job or not.

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #784 on: December 01, 2015, 08:47:34 AM »
The only thing that would have made it better is if you had fired back some southern sass at her 'dear'ing you. A little "oh, sweetie, bless your heart, but I think I can afford to quit. Toodle ooh" said in a way that sounds sweet, but really tells her ' go F yourself PEACE OUT!'

Despite the fact that I've lived in the south for twenty years my Jersey blood doesn't allow me to do sass.  :D  And what makes the whole thing hilarious is that I didn't even GO to UVA.  If I'd worn my William & Mary shirt she might have thought me an elitist, ha hah.  I see the college rivalry in my own family (Florida vs. Florida State) and mock everyone for taking it so seriously ...
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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #785 on: December 01, 2015, 09:14:59 AM »
The only thing that would have made it better is if you had fired back some southern sass at her 'dear'ing you. A little "oh, sweetie, bless your heart, but I think I can afford to quit. Toodle ooh" said in a way that sounds sweet, but really tells her ' go F yourself PEACE OUT!'

Despite the fact that I've lived in the south for twenty years my Jersey blood doesn't allow me to do sass.  :D  And what makes the whole thing hilarious is that I didn't even GO to UVA.  If I'd worn my William & Mary shirt she might have thought me an elitist, ha hah.  I see the college rivalry in my own family (Florida vs. Florida State) and mock everyone for taking it so seriously ...

Mom went to W&M law school. Speaking of college rivalries, I went to the university that's part of The Rivalry.

cautiouspessimist

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #786 on: December 01, 2015, 09:45:56 AM »
The only thing that would have made it better is if you had fired back some southern sass at her 'dear'ing you. A little "oh, sweetie, bless your heart, but I think I can afford to quit. Toodle ooh" said in a way that sounds sweet, but really tells her ' go F yourself PEACE OUT!'

Despite the fact that I've lived in the south for twenty years my Jersey blood doesn't allow me to do sass.  :D  And what makes the whole thing hilarious is that I didn't even GO to UVA.  If I'd worn my William & Mary shirt she might have thought me an elitist, ha hah.  I see the college rivalry in my own family (Florida vs. Florida State) and mock everyone for taking it so seriously ...

Mom went to W&M law school. Speaking of college rivalries, I went to the university that's part of The Rivalry.

Ohio State?

Pooperman

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #787 on: December 01, 2015, 10:04:17 AM »
The only thing that would have made it better is if you had fired back some southern sass at her 'dear'ing you. A little "oh, sweetie, bless your heart, but I think I can afford to quit. Toodle ooh" said in a way that sounds sweet, but really tells her ' go F yourself PEACE OUT!'

Despite the fact that I've lived in the south for twenty years my Jersey blood doesn't allow me to do sass.  :D  And what makes the whole thing hilarious is that I didn't even GO to UVA.  If I'd worn my William & Mary shirt she might have thought me an elitist, ha hah.  I see the college rivalry in my own family (Florida vs. Florida State) and mock everyone for taking it so seriously ...

Mom went to W&M law school. Speaking of college rivalries, I went to the university that's part of The Rivalry.

Ohio State?
Lehigh University (the other side is Lafayette College). It's the only football rivalry called The Rivalry.

cautiouspessimist

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #788 on: December 01, 2015, 10:31:33 AM »
The only thing that would have made it better is if you had fired back some southern sass at her 'dear'ing you. A little "oh, sweetie, bless your heart, but I think I can afford to quit. Toodle ooh" said in a way that sounds sweet, but really tells her ' go F yourself PEACE OUT!'

Despite the fact that I've lived in the south for twenty years my Jersey blood doesn't allow me to do sass.  :D  And what makes the whole thing hilarious is that I didn't even GO to UVA.  If I'd worn my William & Mary shirt she might have thought me an elitist, ha hah.  I see the college rivalry in my own family (Florida vs. Florida State) and mock everyone for taking it so seriously ...

Mom went to W&M law school. Speaking of college rivalries, I went to the university that's part of The Rivalry.

Ohio State?
Lehigh University (the other side is Lafayette College). It's the only football rivalry called The Rivalry.


Yeah, I was just joking (though, no, I didn't know for sure what rivalry you were talking about).

UnleashHell

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #789 on: December 01, 2015, 02:54:50 PM »

If he moves me anyway, when I resign next spring, I will tell him that it was because he moved my office just to mess with him...

Nice. made me chuckle.

Not an FU story but on a similar theme when I quit the last job I had I told them it was because they hired another British person (I live in the US). I'd been looking for another job for a while and it was just pure coincidence that the day I planned on handing in my notice HR is introducing this other British expat on his first day. Purely for shits and giggles when I handed my notice in to my boss that afternoon when he got in the office I told him it was because they hired another British person and that was my thing here in the company. They even went as far as saying they'd let the other guy go and which point I told them the fact they'd even thought about brining in another British person in was enough and I felt hurt and was obviously not fulfilling the token British guy role adequately (plus I did not want the new guy to lose his job here as I was leaving anyhow). Worked my notice and left, to this day they think that is the reason I left!

Ha!!

I might try something similar when I quit but tell them that I'm sick of one person in the office trying to do a British accent and I can't take it anymore. Sadly I have a year to wait.
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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #790 on: December 02, 2015, 12:07:31 AM »
delete
« Last Edit: December 02, 2015, 11:33:41 AM by esummers »

lcerrito

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #791 on: December 02, 2015, 06:52:29 AM »
Not a particularly extravagant FU Story, but more of a quiet (yet immensely satisfying) one. Sorry for the length!

I worked as an apparel designer for the last five years at a large clothing retailer located in the Midwest. Last January, the brand decides that it wants to be like all the other fashion brands and have fancy-pants NYC designers. They laid off the Wear-to-Work (dressier clothes) half  of the design team, but asked them to stay for three months while they found their NYC replacements. Whether they truly thought that geographical location was relative to talent or they simply didn't want to pay relocation costs to the Midwestern designers, I don't know. We were told that the Casual half would be staying in the Midwest. I, being a very cynical person, didn't believe a word they said.

On top of that, my new (NYC based) VP who I reported directly to, was a complete and total sociopath. I don't use that term lightly or in ignorance. She genuinely was. On top of that, she was an HR nightmare and a walking litigation. She told me to tell my assistant to wear more makeup, that I needed to wear lipstick, dress in designer clothing, etc. Our company handbook only says that we can't wear bike shorts, rubber flip flops, or inappropriately fitting clothing. There was bullying, fat shaming, calling other employees "mentally ill" and "stupid." She would constantly contradict herself and blame all of her mistakes on other people's supposed ignorance.

I quietly documented every single statement. I met with HR periodically, which was useless since she was the new golden child, so I quietly documented those meetings as well. I updated my resume and started reaching out to my contacts and advised my team to do the same.

Fast forward ten very stress and anger filled months and I was told my position was being eliminated along with the rest of the remaining design team, but that (in a very cheerful voice) "We'd like to extend your employment for another four months!" They had not hired a single new person in NYC for my department yet. I had anticipated this layoff (they put 10 minute meetings in succession on everyone's calendar the day before... stupid.) and brought all my documentation. I asked if it would be easier to negotiate my severance now or later when the legal documents had been drafted. The HR lady replied, "I don't think there is any room for negotiation."

I pushed the stack of documentation toward her, and replied, "Actually, I think there is." That moment still gives me a thrill, lol.

Needless to say, her face went white, my severance amount was greatly increased, and a legal investigation was initiated against my boss.

Less than two weeks later, my entire team and I turned in our resignation letters all at the same time and walked out of the building with big fat severance checks and job offers from other companies. Almost a month later and they still have not found replacements for my team, and they are panicking. I guess they thought all fashion designers were dumb ding-dongs who would meekly stay for four months while they found our replacements. In fairness, there ARE several designers in my company with debt/no FU money who are doing just that.

Not my team. My team all had FU money saved up, and we ended up not even needing it. I got a job offer four hours after I interviewed. It seems not every company thinks geographical location is directly related to intelligence and talent.

Sibley

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #792 on: December 02, 2015, 07:22:22 AM »
Not a particularly extravagant FU Story, but more of a quiet (yet immensely satisfying) one. Sorry for the length!


You may not think that's extravagant, but I certainly do! Very cool the way you handled it.

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #793 on: December 02, 2015, 07:29:23 AM »
  "asked if it would be easier to negotiate my severance now or later when the legal documents had been drafted. The HR lady replied, "I don't think there is any room for negotiation."

I pushed the stack of documentation toward her, and replied, "Actually, I think there is." That moment still gives me a thrill, lol.

Needless to say, her face went white, my severance amount was greatly increased, and a legal investigation was initiated against my boss."

Lcerrito - my god that must have felt SO GOOD! So glad that you and your team were in a position to stick up for yourselves!

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #794 on: December 02, 2015, 08:04:25 AM »
How did you turn in resignation letters and get severance?  Basically hush money to sign a "I won't sue" document, not really severance?  I was anticipating the story ending with you saying no to the extra 4 months, and just taking the severance, and them being shocked/having to scramble. But the resignation letters threw me.
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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #795 on: December 02, 2015, 08:24:43 AM »
Not a particularly extravagant FU Story, but more of a quiet (yet immensely satisfying) one. Sorry for the length!

That was rather beautiful. Well played.
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AlanStache

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #796 on: December 02, 2015, 08:43:53 AM »
Great stuff, just following. 
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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #797 on: December 02, 2015, 08:50:17 AM »
That was awesome! And +1 to AlanStache for his signature ;)
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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #798 on: December 02, 2015, 09:02:01 AM »
That was awesome! And +1 to AlanStache for his signature ;)

That signature has kept me in check and stopped me from posting more than one reply :-)
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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #799 on: December 02, 2015, 09:37:38 AM »
That was awesome! And +1 to AlanStache for his signature ;)

That signature has kept me in check and stopped me from posting more than one reply :-)

As an aside, it looks like Mr. Rogers had plenty of FI/FU money in the event they ever gave him shit...

http://www.celebritynetworth.com/richest-celebrities/actors/fred-rogers-net-worth/

I wonder if he got his sweaters at thrift shops?