Author Topic: Epic FU money stories  (Read 1269213 times)

jps

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2700 on: May 02, 2019, 03:34:52 PM »
+1. I had to explain this phenomenon to my gf, she didn't know it was a Thing. We went to a dueling piano and rowdy country bar with a cover and bathroom attendant. Who would think those could all be the same place??

Go to the bathroom. See that there is a bathroom attendant. Sigh. Do your business. Approach the sink. Guy turns on water...um, ok. Wet your hands. Guy points soap thing at you and squeezes it out into your hand...um, ok. Wash your hands. Guy turns off water, I guess he thinks I had enough...um, ok. Guy gives you paper towels...um, ok. Mumble "thanks" and run while avoiding eye contact and a tip.

Of course this is with 10 other guys in the bathroom shuffling around each other. Oh, and as mentioned, there's this big thing of cologne and candy to choose from.

The whole thing is cringe-worthy. Won't be going back there anytime soon. /r

This sounds really uncomfortable.

Buffalo Chip

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2701 on: May 02, 2019, 06:26:19 PM »
I think I remember reading this somewhere here but it is a great reminder to get the FU money going immediately in life. 


https://www.thebillfold.com/2016/01/a-story-of-a-fuck-off-fund/

Thatís a nice story. One I might read to DD. Without the profanity; itís a Freedom Unlimited fund after all.😁

Montecarlo

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2702 on: May 02, 2019, 06:40:18 PM »
I think I remember reading this somewhere here but it is a great reminder to get the FU money going immediately in life. 


https://www.thebillfold.com/2016/01/a-story-of-a-fuck-off-fund/

Thatís a nice story. One I might read to DD. Without the profanity; itís a Freedom Unlimited fund after all.😁

Nice!  Every young woman needs to read that.

Buffalo Chip

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2703 on: May 02, 2019, 06:52:37 PM »
I think I remember reading this somewhere here but it is a great reminder to get the FU money going immediately in life. 


https://www.thebillfold.com/2016/01/a-story-of-a-fuck-off-fund/

Thatís a nice story. One I might read to DD. Without the profanity; itís a Freedom Unlimited fund after all.😁

Nice!  Every young woman needs to read that.

Itís a great story. I told it to my DD as a bedtime story, with appropriate editing of course. 😁

AMandM

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2704 on: May 03, 2019, 07:26:50 AM »
The whole thing is cringe-worthy. Won't be going back there anytime soon. /r

OTOH, I've been to many places, mostly in Europe, where bathroom attendants are not cringe-worthy and not part of a would-be "classy" decor. The vibe is more janitor than Jeeves. They clean the toilet and wipe the sink after each customer.

But I've also been to one where part of the attendant's job was to hand each visitor a few sheets of toilet paper. I've always wondered what happens if you discover you need more....

Sugaree

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2705 on: May 03, 2019, 08:17:36 AM »
I'm not Christian, but I didn't realize that men who wear their Christian religions on their sleeves looked down on women.  I thought that would be somehow... not Christ-like?  Fascinating
Like most faiths, a lot of what goes on in the name of "religion" is really just old tribal values propagating themselves into new generations. The actual tenets of the religion are largely forgotten in favor of the cultural norms that people grew up with, which get conflated with "good Christian1 values" from an early age . This is a prime example of how children learn by what those around them do, more than what they say.

(1 insert name of religion here)

Yíall are painting with broad brushes. It all depends on the Christian (or Buddhist, or Hindu, or Muslim, or what have you.) People use all sorts of reasons for excusing their misbehavior.

Iím not much into ďwearing my Christianity on my sleeveĒ however the sort of blanket statements that Christians are sexist, misogynist, backbiting, hypocritical, or intrinsically evil really do become tedious after awhile.

Those are Christers.  There's a difference.  Sadly the Christers seem, at least vocally, to outnumber the Christians these days.

RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2706 on: May 03, 2019, 11:23:37 AM »
Can we please not devolve this thread into an argument about religion

Abe Froman

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2707 on: May 03, 2019, 12:00:20 PM »
Can we please not devolve this thread into an argument about religion

-erm... AMEN Brother!

ducky19

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2708 on: May 03, 2019, 03:54:34 PM »
The whole thing is cringe-worthy. Won't be going back there anytime soon. /r

OTOH, I've been to many places, mostly in Europe, where bathroom attendants are not cringe-worthy and not part of a would-be "classy" decor. The vibe is more janitor than Jeeves. They clean the toilet and wipe the sink after each customer.

But I've also been to one where part of the attendant's job was to hand each visitor a few sheets of toilet paper. I've always wondered what happens if you discover you need more....

I guess at that point, you choose between handing the fella a bill to get a few more squares or just wiping your ass with the bill...

Just Joe

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2709 on: May 03, 2019, 08:23:43 PM »
If the attendant is keeping the bathroom clean then I'm all for it. If the attendant is there to turn on my water and hand me a towel - then no thanks, I can do that myself.

DadJokes

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2710 on: May 08, 2019, 09:03:41 AM »
Minor story to keep this thread on the first page:

My wife is finishing her fifth year as an elementary teacher. She, from my biased perspective, has done a good job. Her students do well, parents don't complain about her, and she has helped to integrate more technology use in the school. When asked what she would like to do next year, she requested that she remain in the same grade, teaching the same subject. Despite this, she was told yesterday (on teacher appreciation day no less) that she will be moving grades for the third time since she has been there. She came home in tears because she felt like the principals have no confidence in her teaching abilities. In the past, administration has moved teachers around as a means to get bad teachers to quit (easier than firing). The principals specifically told her that was not the reason she was being moved, but their actions speak louder than their words to me. Add to that the fact that every time you change grades, you have to get age appropriate resources for your new classroom, often with your own money. So she spent the evening in tears, not because of something a student did or something a parent said, but because she feels that her bosses have no confidence in her abilities.

I was able to convince her to go in today and tell them how she feels. Thanks to our FU money, she doesn't have to worry about losing her job, which gave her the confidence she needed to express her feelings regarding their decision. While she will still be moving, they will be working to get her additional grants to supply her new classroom with resources, and they are aware that another move will result in my wife quitting the job (though we would wait until the end of the summer to tell them as a final FU).

I wish I could convince her to walk away now, but she is terrified of change. She actually teaches at the same elementary school that she went to as a child. The only way she will leave this job is if it is to become a stay-at-home mom. We could afford that, but I'd rather not have to stop all retirement contributions for her to do so.

AfricanMustache

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2711 on: May 08, 2019, 10:12:25 AM »
Minor story to keep this thread on the first page:

My wife is finishing her fifth year as an elementary teacher. She, from my biased perspective, has done a good job. Her students do well, parents don't complain about her, and she has helped to integrate more technology use in the school. When asked what she would like to do next year, she requested that she remain in the same grade, teaching the same subject. Despite this, she was told yesterday (on teacher appreciation day no less) that she will be moving grades for the third time since she has been there. She came home in tears because she felt like the principals have no confidence in her teaching abilities. In the past, administration has moved teachers around as a means to get bad teachers to quit (easier than firing). The principals specifically told her that was not the reason she was being moved, but their actions speak louder than their words to me. Add to that the fact that every time you change grades, you have to get age appropriate resources for your new classroom, often with your own money. So she spent the evening in tears, not because of something a student did or something a parent said, but because she feels that her bosses have no confidence in her abilities.

I was able to convince her to go in today and tell them how she feels. Thanks to our FU money, she doesn't have to worry about losing her job, which gave her the confidence she needed to express her feelings regarding their decision. While she will still be moving, they will be working to get her additional grants to supply her new classroom with resources, and they are aware that another move will result in my wife quitting the job (though we would wait until the end of the summer to tell them as a final FU).

I wish I could convince her to walk away now, but she is terrified of change. She actually teaches at the same elementary school that she went to as a child. The only way she will leave this job is if it is to become a stay-at-home mom. We could afford that, but I'd rather not have to stop all retirement contributions for her to do so.

As they say, people don't quit their job, they quit their boss.

My wife has been coming home in tears for months, due to her boss treating her like cr@p. She was the hardest-working, most effective employee in the department since she started in her company. But her direct manager mistreated, micro-managed and abused her (in front of other colleagues) to the point where there was a complete breakdown in communication and cooperation - they didn't even greet each other in the mornings.

So a couple of months back I told her I think she should just quit. She had been working since she was 16 and couldn't quite get past the idea of feeling unproductive and putting her career on pause (work ethic can sometimes be our worst enemy). Since she was also studying towards a degree at the same time, I managed to convince her to see it as an opportunity to focus on her studies full time and be productive that way.

So she resigned last month and we're spending our first week actually together and not just seeing each other in passing due to our "hectic" work schedules. It has been bliss and we have connected like never before. And no more coming home with eyes thick from crying all day.

Although we don't yet have significant FU money in terms of savings/investments, the financial remodeling we've done on the expenses side since joining the MMM philosophy has made it possible for us to go single-income indefinitely and allowed her to upskill herself and fast-track her career when she's ready to do so.


RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2712 on: May 08, 2019, 10:43:04 AM »
Although we don't yet have significant FU money in terms of savings/investments, the financial remodeling we've done on the expenses side since joining the MMM philosophy has made it possible for us to go single-income indefinitely and allowed her to upskill herself and fast-track her career when she's ready to do so.

Yep!  FU money doesn't necessarily mean savings.  When I hit a 50% savings rate, even with no real savings yet, I realized I could quit and get a job making literally half what I was making and be totally fine.  And I should EASILY be able to find a job making that.  It reduced my work stress immensely and shortly thereafter did quit the unpleasant job I had previously been stuck in, and took unemployment (which paid 50% my wage) for a few months to decompress, and it was one of the best and least stressful things I've ever done.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2713 on: May 08, 2019, 10:45:22 AM »
In the past, administration has moved teachers around as a means to get bad teachers to quit (easier than firing). The principals specifically told her that was not the reason she was being moved, but their actions speak louder than their words to me.
I know a few educators, and their biggest problems always stem from administration, whether it be on the school level, school district level, or state level.  The constant micromanaging and lack of trust has led many a teacher to resign.

mm1970

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2714 on: May 08, 2019, 11:24:55 AM »
Minor story to keep this thread on the first page:

My wife is finishing her fifth year as an elementary teacher. She, from my biased perspective, has done a good job. Her students do well, parents don't complain about her, and she has helped to integrate more technology use in the school. When asked what she would like to do next year, she requested that she remain in the same grade, teaching the same subject. Despite this, she was told yesterday (on teacher appreciation day no less) that she will be moving grades for the third time since she has been there. She came home in tears because she felt like the principals have no confidence in her teaching abilities. In the past, administration has moved teachers around as a means to get bad teachers to quit (easier than firing). The principals specifically told her that was not the reason she was being moved, but their actions speak louder than their words to me. Add to that the fact that every time you change grades, you have to get age appropriate resources for your new classroom, often with your own money. So she spent the evening in tears, not because of something a student did or something a parent said, but because she feels that her bosses have no confidence in her abilities.

I was able to convince her to go in today and tell them how she feels. Thanks to our FU money, she doesn't have to worry about losing her job, which gave her the confidence she needed to express her feelings regarding their decision. While she will still be moving, they will be working to get her additional grants to supply her new classroom with resources, and they are aware that another move will result in my wife quitting the job (though we would wait until the end of the summer to tell them as a final FU).

I wish I could convince her to walk away now, but she is terrified of change. She actually teaches at the same elementary school that she went to as a child. The only way she will leave this job is if it is to become a stay-at-home mom. We could afford that, but I'd rather not have to stop all retirement contributions for her to do so.

I'm of two minds on this:
1.  It is true that this is how they get teachers to quit or retire.  We had a teacher who had been there for 40 years, and was long overdue for needing to retire.  She was ADD by then.  Luckily, my kid was very self motivated.  She also had a tough year as she took some time off to care for her ailing/dying father.  The principal decided to move her to a new grade, and she said no way.  So she retired.  I remember when the principal said she decided to retire (I'm on a committee).  I kind of rolled my eyes because I know he forced the issue.  But it was the right thing to do.  He's really good at hiring quality teachers.

2.  The other thing is that your wife is new.  The OTHER time that teachers get moved around is when they are new.  We have many veteran teachers at our elementary school, and a few newer ones (some young, some transfers).  Inevitably, when we need to reorganize because of enrollment (say, when we have one grade with 90 students, and one grade with only 40 students), the newer teachers are the ones that have to switch.

It doesn't mean they suck.  It means that, if you have a second grade with 3 classrooms of 30 students each, and a 3rd grade classroom of 2 classes with 25 students each...what happens the next year?  You need another 3rd grade teacher.  The veteran 2nd grade teachers get priority to keep their grade.  We've had several teachers move 2-3 times in the last 5 years because of this.  We've also hired 2 new teachers who have moved because they were originally subs for maternity leaves.  Then got pink slipped, but then someone retired, so they were rehired for a year, then got pink slipped, but then someone else moved into administration - so they were able to stay. 

I can think of one teacher who went from 2nd to 3rd to 2nd.  One that went from 2nd to 5th.  One that went from K to 3rd.  Two veteran teachers that basically swapped (4th/5th).  Plus we've ended up with partial classes the last 3 years - like combo K/1st or combo 5th/6th.  They try not to make the same teacher do a combo 2 years in a row, because it's hard.  It's not uncommon and doesn't mean they don't like her.  It is very stressful though.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2019, 11:28:05 AM by mm1970 »

DadJokes

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2715 on: May 08, 2019, 11:55:08 AM »
I can think of one teacher who went from 2nd to 3rd to 2nd.  One that went from 2nd to 5th.  One that went from K to 3rd.  Two veteran teachers that basically swapped (4th/5th).  Plus we've ended up with partial classes the last 3 years - like combo K/1st or combo 5th/6th.  They try not to make the same teacher do a combo 2 years in a row, because it's hard.  It's not uncommon and doesn't mean they don't like her.  It is very stressful though.

She has gone 5th to 2nd to 5th and now back to 2nd. At five years in, she may be junior, but she isn't even the most junior person in her current grade.

Laura33

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2716 on: May 09, 2019, 06:22:36 AM »
I can think of one teacher who went from 2nd to 3rd to 2nd.  One that went from 2nd to 5th.  One that went from K to 3rd.  Two veteran teachers that basically swapped (4th/5th).  Plus we've ended up with partial classes the last 3 years - like combo K/1st or combo 5th/6th.  They try not to make the same teacher do a combo 2 years in a row, because it's hard.  It's not uncommon and doesn't mean they don't like her.  It is very stressful though.

She has gone 5th to 2nd to 5th and now back to 2nd. At five years in, she may be junior, but she isn't even the most junior person in her current grade.

Listen to mm1970. 

When other people take actions that hurt you, there are almost always two possible interpretations:  yes, they were trying to hurt you for some reason; or no, they were thinking of their own concerns, and hurting you was just an unintended or unavoidable consequence.  Life tends to be happier when you assume option 2 until proven otherwise.  Added bonus:  that also tends to be true, as people tend to focus on what they need, not how their choice affects others.  As Dr. Phil says, you'd care a lot less about what other people think of you if you knew how infrequently they do.

Here, they are moving her back and forth between the same two grades!  That sounds very much like they need to make moves but are trying to minimize the negative impact on the teacher involved (at least she's done it before and has the materials and the syllabus and doesn't need to start from scratch, right?).  Seems like if they really wanted to make her so miserable that she leaves, they could have done a much better job of it without any additional effort.  So either they're really crappy at forcing people out, or they're not trying to.

Doesn't mean she needs to be happy about it, and she is entitled to walk at any time, for any reason.  But her decision shouldn't be driven by an unsupported assumption that is very likely not true.

DadJokes

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2717 on: May 09, 2019, 06:44:59 AM »
I've probably characterized things incorrectly when relaying information here. Based on her conversations with the principals since then, we don't believe they are moving her in an attempt to get her to quit. As I mentioned, she has done a lot to improve the school's use of technology, which is a surefire way to create some job security.

At this point, I am not frustrated with her administration's intent so much as their inability to realize what their decision would cause. Not only is the process frustrating for my wife, but there is a stigma with any teachers that are frequently moved around, which impacts how she will be treated by other teachers in the school.

EricL

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2718 on: May 09, 2019, 09:31:07 AM »
Eh.  It doesn't matter whether the administrators moved her out of necessity, ignorance or because they're pieces of shit.  The OP believes they had lousy motives.  You may have more teaching experience but since we're all not involved (and won't ever be) it doesn't hurt to roll with their interpretation.

In the interest of staying OT, here's a rework of a scene from The Gambler by James Collins originally done by John Goodman.  Goodman had a better delivery but Collins has better lines.

Edit: Would be a more interesting post If I actually posted the damn video  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eikbQPldhPY
« Last Edit: May 09, 2019, 05:29:05 PM by EricL »

Car Jack

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2719 on: May 09, 2019, 09:51:15 AM »
If you're FI, then she has the ability to go in on the first day of class and walk in to administration and give them a choice......"put me back in the grade I had or I am done right now.  You know I wanted to stay in my grade and moved me anyways.  I don't care what the logistics are....you have 5 seconds.".  And then, after 5 seconds, walk out and go home.

Rosy

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2720 on: May 09, 2019, 11:50:47 AM »
I think I remember reading this somewhere here but it is a great reminder to get the FU money going immediately in life. 


https://www.thebillfold.com/2016/01/a-story-of-a-fuck-off-fund/

Thatís a nice story. One I might read to DD. Without the profanity; itís a Freedom Unlimited fund after all.😁

Nice!  Every young woman needs to read that.

Itís a great story. I told it to my DD as a bedtime story, with appropriate editing of course. 😁

So pleased to read a story about empowering women - we all need a freedom fund:) Interesting blog/site.

Psychstache

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2721 on: May 09, 2019, 04:42:52 PM »
If you're FI, then she has the ability to go in on the first day of class and walk in to administration and give them a choice......"put me back in the grade I had or I am done right now.  You know I wanted to stay in my grade and moved me anyways.  I don't care what the logistics are....you have 5 seconds.".  And then, after 5 seconds, walk out and go home.

In most states, you sign a teaching contract in April/May for the upcoming school year. Breaching that contract on the 1st day of school is a violation that would allow the district to file against your teaching certificate which would be a big black mark for any future employment.

Probably best to keep this option as a fun nuclear fantasy unless you are pretty certain you have no desire to teach anymore.

Smokystache

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2722 on: May 09, 2019, 07:58:35 PM »
... she was told yesterday (on teacher appreciation day no less) that she will be moving grades for the third time since she has been there. ...

I do not have any credible sources to back this up ... but I heard from some friends who are teachers (k-5 in the US) that if you are a new teacher to a grade then you get a "pass" if your students' average on state standardized tests was below state goals. Thus, principals in underperforming schools (due to a variety of potential reasons), would frequently switch teachers among grades in order to never get in trouble with the district/state.

No source for this, but this was one reason a co-worker's spouse believed why 90% of his elementary school's teachers were shifted to new grades every few years.

Kitsune

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2723 on: May 10, 2019, 07:11:01 AM »
... she was told yesterday (on teacher appreciation day no less) that she will be moving grades for the third time since she has been there. ...

I do not have any credible sources to back this up ... but I heard from some friends who are teachers (k-5 in the US) that if you are a new teacher to a grade then you get a "pass" if your students' average on state standardized tests was below state goals. Thus, principals in underperforming schools (due to a variety of potential reasons), would frequently switch teachers among grades in order to never get in trouble with the district/state.

No source for this, but this was one reason a co-worker's spouse believed why 90% of his elementary school's teachers were shifted to new grades every few years.

And then teachers at 'underperforming' schools get to equip their classrooms at their own cost every few years, and therefore ensure that there are fewer resources (because what you accululate over 20 years doesn't match what you accumulate over 2 years...)... and then we wonder why, with new teachers, less funding, and fewer resources, it continues to underperform. I wonder. I have no idea. Someone run a study on this.

Threshkin

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2724 on: May 14, 2019, 06:41:01 PM »
... she was told yesterday (on teacher appreciation day no less) that she will be moving grades for the third time since she has been there. ...

I do not have any credible sources to back this up ... but I heard from some friends who are teachers (k-5 in the US) that if you are a new teacher to a grade then you get a "pass" if your students' average on state standardized tests was below state goals. Thus, principals in underperforming schools (due to a variety of potential reasons), would frequently switch teachers among grades in order to never get in trouble with the district/state.

No source for this, but this was one reason a co-worker's spouse believed why 90% of his elementary school's teachers were shifted to new grades every few years.

And then teachers at 'underperforming' schools get to equip their classrooms at their own cost every few years, and therefore ensure that there are fewer resources (because what you accululate over 20 years doesn't match what you accumulate over 2 years...)... and then we wonder why, with new teachers, less funding, and fewer resources, it continues to underperform. I wonder. I have no idea. Someone run a study on this.

Yes!  We should divert funds from teacher salaries and classroom supplies to do this study.  Oh and we should replicate this study across multiple schools, districts, and grades to ensure we have "meaningful, representative and accurate" data.  Then we should run the study for several years to looks for trends! 

Taran Wanderer

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2725 on: May 15, 2019, 12:26:51 AM »
I'm not sure if this is an epic FU money story or a MPP (Mustachian People Problem), but I always wanted my own FU money story, so here goes...

I've been unhappy with some things at work.  I threatened to retire early.  I was serious.  I got some things fixed and a raise.


Alfred J Quack

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2726 on: May 15, 2019, 02:03:30 AM »
I'm not sure if this is an epic FU money story or a MPP (Mustachian People Problem), but I always wanted my own FU money story, so here goes...

I've been unhappy with some things at work.  I threatened to retire early.  I was serious.  I got some things fixed and a raise.

Regardless of classification, I'd call that Epic. Well done :)

BicycleB

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2727 on: May 16, 2019, 12:05:31 PM »
I'm not sure if this is an epic FU money story or a MPP (Mustachian People Problem), but I always wanted my own FU money story, so here goes...

I've been unhappy with some things at work.  I threatened to retire early.  I was serious.  I got some things fixed and a raise.

Regardless of classification, I'd call that Epic. Well done :)

Agree. EPIC!!!

alcon835

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2728 on: May 26, 2019, 04:03:27 PM »
+1 for this whole thread. I am a huge fan! It took me about a month of reading this thread a few times a week to make it all the way through, but I'm finally here!

I've got a few FU money stories that I may post here at some point in the future once I can remember the more interesting details, haha.

I learned a few years ago that even better than an FU fund (which I have) is skills and good friends. I've worked hard to make friends with the folks I work with and those relationships at my last few jobs have left me with a friends in leadership roles that want me to join their teams if I ever become available. It's definitely a different kind of FU but has opened the door for me to take certain actions and say certain things that I would never have done otherwise! This has helped a lot in HR situations where I've been able to take a stand and risk loosing my job calling out generally protected people.

SimpleLifer

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2729 on: June 09, 2019, 07:52:01 AM »
My FU money empowered me to go to HR and report a Sr. Mgr who was insulting the women on the team, but the final straw was when he told a meek-mannered Indian woman, "don't expect to get a day off to celebrate Diwali...you're in America now!!!"

I also brought about 10-pages of notes of past events that gave insight to the overall mismanagement and toxic culture of the organization.  It is seriously a case study for the toxic masculinity of tech companies. 

That Sr. Mgr was promoted to Director of another org, my direct manager was fired, and ultimately the toxic culture continues with the other bullies who remain in their positions. 

I still work there because it's close to home, but I am saving furiously so that once I leave, I can be done for good.

CowboyAndIndian

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2730 on: June 09, 2019, 12:21:45 PM »
My FU money empowered me to go to HR and report a Sr. Mgr who was insulting the women on the team, but the final straw was when he told a meek-mannered Indian woman, "don't expect to get a day off to celebrate Diwali...you're in America now!!!"

I also brought about 10-pages of notes of past events that gave insight to the overall mismanagement and toxic culture of the organization.  It is seriously a case study for the toxic masculinity of tech companies. 

That Sr. Mgr was promoted to Director of another org, my direct manager was fired, and ultimately the toxic culture continues with the other bullies who remain in their positions. 

I still work there because it's close to home, but I am saving furiously so that once I leave, I can be done for good.

Good for you @SimpleLifer

This is a case where they promote the incompetent. Rising to the level of the Sr. Mgr's incompetence. Another division is going be a toxic area to work.

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2731 on: June 24, 2019, 12:42:17 PM »
My ex-boss' son, who I will call Snotty McStuffington IV, knew I'd been cheated out of some commissions. One day he said in an email that, ".....you don't have to be a baby about it."

My written reply was, "Go fuck yourself. I mean that literally. Next time you're fucking yourself, you should know that you've earned it."

A month later I gave notice. The boss asked me to not say anything until after Christmas to prevent the other employees from worrying, and that my only job for the following 6 weeks was to secure another job if I didn't already have one.

I received a Christmas bonus, 6 weeks pay to job search, and did some "business travel" where I caught up with a buddy I'd not seen in 8 years.

Regarding Snotty McStuffington IV, we don't keep in touch.

Padonak

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2732 on: June 24, 2019, 12:56:42 PM »
  ^Epic story right there

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2733 on: June 24, 2019, 04:21:09 PM »
  ^Epic story right there

Glad you liked it. I swear that while it's very condensed, it's entirely true.

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2734 on: June 24, 2019, 09:37:43 PM »
My ex-boss' son, who I will call Snotty McStuffington IV, knew I'd been cheated out of some commissions. One day he said in an email that, ".....you don't have to be a baby about it."

My written reply was, "Go fuck yourself. I mean that literally. Next time you're fucking yourself, you should know that you've earned it."

A month later I gave notice. The boss asked me to not say anything until after Christmas to prevent the other employees from worrying, and that my only job for the following 6 weeks was to secure another job if I didn't already have one.

I received a Christmas bonus, 6 weeks pay to job search, and did some "business travel" where I caught up with a buddy I'd not seen in 8 years.

Regarding Snotty McStuffington IV, we don't keep in touch.

How did ex-boss (presumably Snotty McStuffington III) not have any irritation at you for such a blunt response?
  a)didn't care/ wanted to do the same,but couldn't because of family
  b) wasn't told by Snotty McStuffington IV because of ???

and why the  wait to "prevent the other employees from worrying"?  Not understanding that at all. Quit is quit, not layoff/fired.

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2735 on: June 25, 2019, 04:21:13 AM »
My ex-boss' son, who I will call Snotty McStuffington IV, knew I'd been cheated out of some commissions. One day he said in an email that, ".....you don't have to be a baby about it."

My written reply was, "Go fuck yourself. I mean that literally. Next time you're fucking yourself, you should know that you've earned it."

A month later I gave notice. The boss asked me to not say anything until after Christmas to prevent the other employees from worrying, and that my only job for the following 6 weeks was to secure another job if I didn't already have one.

I received a Christmas bonus, 6 weeks pay to job search, and did some "business travel" where I caught up with a buddy I'd not seen in 8 years.

Regarding Snotty McStuffington IV, we don't keep in touch.

How did ex-boss (presumably Snotty McStuffington III) not have any irritation at you for such a blunt response?
  a)didn't care/ wanted to do the same,but couldn't because of family
  b) wasn't told by Snotty McStuffington IV because of ???

and why the  wait to "prevent the other employees from worrying"?  Not understanding that at all. Quit is quit, not layoff/fired.

The boss never brought it up, and I am positive the son told him. The boss has also called me 4 times since I left when he had issues with a customer, an employee, his nephew, and the IRS.

Boss' worry: I think the boss worried he could be sued for the commissions. It wouldn't have been the first time.

People worrying: When I was hired, things began to change at the company. Employees, including a nephew who'd been there 20 years, thought the business was going to be sold, but now felt more secure.

Things that changed: I updated the corporate guidelines and employee manuals, started an annual employee appreciation barbecue during work hours, created a social media presence and blog, and updated all product photos to meet the standards for Amazon, Shoplet, Wayfair, etc, who then began carrying our lines. I also replaced my boss in his role of going on the road. Additionally, we started receiving grants that I applied for that were specifically for businesses looking to add employees, update their processes, or seek out local consulting work. Regarding the consulting, they were great, but the boss would not share the final report, or implement anything they suggested, and told someone he was worried the consulting co was trying to poach me; they weren't, but that was how he was; not wanting to share anything while also worried people could get what they wanted elsewhere.

The FU event/My departure: It was right before Thanksgiving. I did not expect to be fired for it, but had some things lined up if I was. Approaching Christmas, I couldn't stand being there as an employee anymore, and had one last meeting with the boss, attempting to coordinate a purchase with the previously mentioned nephew. It was a long-shot because it would require him getting paid over time, and competitors were offering him cash. When he rejected our offer, I told him I would be leaving. He asked me to give him a day. The next day he asked if I had a job. I said no, but had actually been working for another company remotely the entire year. That's when he offered to just pay me to job search from mid-December through January, on the condition that he'd let everyone know in a company meeting, and that we'd have a going away lunch for me.

How it ended: A year later the boss sold the building for about $10MM, but appears to have retained the brand name.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2019, 04:34:12 AM by A Fella from Stella »

A Fella from Stella

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Ghostwriting for a Best-Selling Author/Speaker
« Reply #2736 on: June 25, 2019, 02:23:04 PM »
Adding another story:

I was ghostwriting a book for a best-selling author [how to land that gig explained below]. Now, I'm not FI, but I have passive income that is very helpful, so I can afford to negotiate a deal like this: I will work as much as it takes to create a high-quality product to your liking for royalties with no limit.

"Do you need an advance?" he asked. "Monthly pay?"

"Nope. Just the chance to show you what I've got."

For the next 16 months we ended up writing what I consider to be 3 versions of the book, which could have been 3 overlapping products (not uncommon in the self-help business). At the end of it he said he wasn't happy, and asked to settle up.

I said, "You owe me nothing."

"No," he said, "you've put your heart and soul into this. I have to pay you something. How about $10,000, or if you can wait, $25,000 on first royalties."

"But there won't be any royalties," because I failed.

At this there was a silence, and he filled it by saying "But who will own the intellectual property?"

"There won't be any. But if you find some content you can use, I'll get a percentage of the original royalty deal."

"Look," he said, "I want to reward your efforts, so think it over and let me know."

My estimate was that I would make $300,000 off the book, so I emailed him a long analysis that settled on

(a) $50k today, or
(b) $25k today with another $50k on royalties over the first 100,000 copies sold.

We had some back and forth. He concluded by saying his offer of $10k was generous, and that I was greedy.

I said, "Let's go back to our original deal, dated xx/xx/xxxx," where I got paid only if something I created was used in the final product.

Maybe I was just stubborn to let go of the bird in the hand, but the truth is that I didn't need $10k. I take that home about every 4 weeks. What I wanted was a best-seller and $300k, preferably 5x over. He has not released a book since before we worked together.

[How to land that gig]

I shot gunned it - contacting publishers, agents, authors, athletes, pretty much anyone - trying to sell something else I'd written. This guy didn't get back to me, so I followed up twice and we had an hour-long conversation that concluded with him asking if I'd consider writing an updated version of a previous best-seller about how the web is going to make billions!. We ended up creating nothing, but I'm still trying.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2019, 02:27:04 PM by A Fella from Stella »

AnnaGrowsAMustache

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Re: Ghostwriting for a Best-Selling Author/Speaker
« Reply #2737 on: June 25, 2019, 06:21:12 PM »
Adding another story:

I was ghostwriting a book for a best-selling author [how to land that gig explained below]. Now, I'm not FI, but I have passive income that is very helpful, so I can afford to negotiate a deal like this: I will work as much as it takes to create a high-quality product to your liking for royalties with no limit.

"Do you need an advance?" he asked. "Monthly pay?"

"Nope. Just the chance to show you what I've got."

For the next 16 months we ended up writing what I consider to be 3 versions of the book, which could have been 3 overlapping products (not uncommon in the self-help business). At the end of it he said he wasn't happy, and asked to settle up.

I said, "You owe me nothing."

"No," he said, "you've put your heart and soul into this. I have to pay you something. How about $10,000, or if you can wait, $25,000 on first royalties."

"But there won't be any royalties," because I failed.

At this there was a silence, and he filled it by saying "But who will own the intellectual property?"

"There won't be any. But if you find some content you can use, I'll get a percentage of the original royalty deal."

"Look," he said, "I want to reward your efforts, so think it over and let me know."

My estimate was that I would make $300,000 off the book, so I emailed him a long analysis that settled on

(a) $50k today, or
(b) $25k today with another $50k on royalties over the first 100,000 copies sold.

We had some back and forth. He concluded by saying his offer of $10k was generous, and that I was greedy.

I said, "Let's go back to our original deal, dated xx/xx/xxxx," where I got paid only if something I created was used in the final product.

Maybe I was just stubborn to let go of the bird in the hand, but the truth is that I didn't need $10k. I take that home about every 4 weeks. What I wanted was a best-seller and $300k, preferably 5x over. He has not released a book since before we worked together.

[How to land that gig]

I shot gunned it - contacting publishers, agents, authors, athletes, pretty much anyone - trying to sell something else I'd written. This guy didn't get back to me, so I followed up twice and we had an hour-long conversation that concluded with him asking if I'd consider writing an updated version of a previous best-seller about how the web is going to make billions!. We ended up creating nothing, but I'm still trying.

Have I missed something? You worked for 16 months and got nothing for it..... because you were holding out for the big score.... that hasn't come.

Rural

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Re: Ghostwriting for a Best-Selling Author/Speaker
« Reply #2738 on: June 25, 2019, 07:29:50 PM »
Adding another story:

I was ghostwriting a book for a best-selling author [how to land that gig explained below]. Now, I'm not FI, but I have passive income that is very helpful, so I can afford to negotiate a deal like this: I will work as much as it takes to create a high-quality product to your liking for royalties with no limit.

"Do you need an advance?" he asked. "Monthly pay?"

"Nope. Just the chance to show you what I've got."

For the next 16 months we ended up writing what I consider to be 3 versions of the book, which could have been 3 overlapping products (not uncommon in the self-help business). At the end of it he said he wasn't happy, and asked to settle up.

I said, "You owe me nothing."

"No," he said, "you've put your heart and soul into this. I have to pay you something. How about $10,000, or if you can wait, $25,000 on first royalties."

"But there won't be any royalties," because I failed.

At this there was a silence, and he filled it by saying "But who will own the intellectual property?"

"There won't be any. But if you find some content you can use, I'll get a percentage of the original royalty deal."

"Look," he said, "I want to reward your efforts, so think it over and let me know."

My estimate was that I would make $300,000 off the book, so I emailed him a long analysis that settled on

(a) $50k today, or
(b) $25k today with another $50k on royalties over the first 100,000 copies sold.

We had some back and forth. He concluded by saying his offer of $10k was generous, and that I was greedy.

I said, "Let's go back to our original deal, dated xx/xx/xxxx," where I got paid only if something I created was used in the final product.

Maybe I was just stubborn to let go of the bird in the hand, but the truth is that I didn't need $10k. I take that home about every 4 weeks. What I wanted was a best-seller and $300k, preferably 5x over. He has not released a book since before we worked together.

[How to land that gig]

I shot gunned it - contacting publishers, agents, authors, athletes, pretty much anyone - trying to sell something else I'd written. This guy didn't get back to me, so I followed up twice and we had an hour-long conversation that concluded with him asking if I'd consider writing an updated version of a previous best-seller about how the web is going to make billions!. We ended up creating nothing, but I'm still trying.

Have I missed something? You worked for 16 months and got nothing for it..... because you were holding out for the big score.... that hasn't come.


I think what you missed is that he declined to let the guy out of the contract and simultaneously give up 16 months of work for $10K he didn't need.

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Ghostwriting for a Best-Selling Author/Speaker
« Reply #2739 on: June 25, 2019, 08:16:29 PM »
Adding another story:

I was ghostwriting a book for a best-selling author.....................

Have I missed something? You worked for 16 months and got nothing for it..... because you were holding out for the big score.... that hasn't come.


Rural is right. But maybe this will also help explain.

During the month we were negotiating, I said to my wife, "why am I being like this? Literally the night before, I'd said if he offered me five grand to just walk away, I'd take it." Because working with him had become a frustrating waste of time.

"Because," she said, "you don't need $10,000. You need $300,000."

And she was right. $10k didn't mean much to me, but $300,000 paid off my house, freeing up $2800 every month 14.5 years early. Also, if I'd have let the work go for less than $50k after 16 months, and it became the best-selling book, I'd really hate myself, because I knew that could be the case.

SEPARATE, BUT RELATED NOTE: I teach a college class or two per semester, and one of the things I tell my students is that at some point you'll become so valuable that you're going to start turning things down that you'd have previously tripped over yourself to get. You'll be offered positions on corporate and charitable boards, you'll be offered to teach at multiple colleges, and opportunities to be a keynote speaker. And when this happens, you can pick and choose, and you can also choose your price. I then tell them (I guess another FU story - maybe I'm the problem here!) about a college I was teaching at where the kids were fantastic, but the boss was a total nightmare. At the point where I lost half a night's sleep over her expecting me to be available 7 days a week on email, I gave myself a week to think it over, and let her know that I would not return the following semester.

You get to a point where you can set a standard. It's not always monetary.
« Last Edit: June 26, 2019, 07:06:16 AM by A Fella from Stella »

Gondolin

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2740 on: June 26, 2019, 08:28:22 AM »
Quote
Have I missed something? You worked for 16 months and got nothing for it..... because you were holding out for the big score.... that hasn't come.

If I were the cynical type I would say that Mr. Big Shot DID like the finished product and was trying to cut his ghostwriter out on the cheap.

SwordGuy

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2741 on: June 26, 2019, 08:32:50 AM »
Quote
Have I missed something? You worked for 16 months and got nothing for it..... because you were holding out for the big score.... that hasn't come.

If I were the cynical type I would say that Mr. Big Shot DID like the finished product and was trying to cut his ghostwriter out on the cheap.
And I would take actions to be able to prove Mr. Big Shot plagiarized the work product when he releases his own, royalty free version later.    Copyright infringement can be lucrative if the person doing it has the money to pay.

fattest_foot

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2742 on: June 26, 2019, 08:54:51 AM »
I guess I don't understand the writing business, but I'd be pretty pissed if I didn't get paid for 16 months worth of work.

That $10k is "insignificant" seems to be missing the point. If there are never any royalties, you worked for free. This wasn't a "I'm not working for only $10k because I'm worth $300k" The work was already done.

But maybe that's just how that entire industry works?

BicycleB

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2743 on: June 26, 2019, 09:05:15 AM »
I think he challenged the guy instead of taking a crappy deal. The chance at $300k (including possible collection re infringement) was worth more than $10k in hand. Because he haz FU $.

Epic!!

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2744 on: June 26, 2019, 09:06:56 AM »
Quote
Have I missed something? You worked for 16 months and got nothing for it..... because you were holding out for the big score.... that hasn't come.

If I were the cynical type I would say that Mr. Big Shot DID like the finished product and was trying to cut his ghostwriter out on the cheap.
And I would take actions to be able to prove Mr. Big Shot plagiarized the work product when he releases his own, royalty free version later.    Copyright infringement can be lucrative if the person doing it has the money to pay.

I did keep an eye out to see if he would release a book after all (he has not), and that I'd have a fair claim to a portion of it. If he did, then after the big initial sales I'd cordially reach out after figuring the percentage. If the book was totally different, then I'd also feel good that he was not only a completely straight shooter who was incredibly generous, after all, but also a gentleman of the highest caliber.

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2745 on: June 26, 2019, 09:12:15 AM »
I guess I don't understand the writing business, but I'd be pretty pissed if I didn't get paid for 16 months worth of work.

That $10k is "insignificant" seems to be missing the point. If there are never any royalties, you worked for free. This wasn't a "I'm not working for only $10k because I'm worth $300k" The work was already done.

But maybe that's just how that entire industry works?

That is completely understandable. For me, writing is something I pursue as an all-or-nothing venture. I want unlimited royalties only, and am willing to make nothing if that's how it goes down. I have also edited work for free, if I truly enjoy the book, and like the person.

To start, this author asked me what kind of deal I wanted, and he agreed to royalties only, with no limit. If we sold 1,000,000 copies, which was his average, it would have come to $300k.

Tyson

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2746 on: June 26, 2019, 09:33:17 AM »
Quote
Have I missed something? You worked for 16 months and got nothing for it..... because you were holding out for the big score.... that hasn't come.

If I were the cynical type I would say that Mr. Big Shot DID like the finished product and was trying to cut his ghostwriter out on the cheap.

This.

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2747 on: June 26, 2019, 09:37:12 AM »
I think he challenged the guy instead of taking a crappy deal. The chance at $300k (including possible collection re infringement) was worth more than $10k in hand. Because he haz FU $.

Epic!!

Thanks! You are correct. While I am not rich, I have some cushion via passive income, and a fairly paid profession.

I felt suspicious of this offer, and while $10k is not nothing, it's like nothing for all of the work I did, especially if my work was good enough in the end, which seemed possible based on our discussions.

NorCal

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2748 on: June 26, 2019, 11:02:08 AM »
I think he challenged the guy instead of taking a crappy deal. The chance at $300k (including possible collection re infringement) was worth more than $10k in hand. Because he haz FU $.

Epic!!

Thanks! You are correct. While I am not rich, I have some cushion via passive income, and a fairly paid profession.

I felt suspicious of this offer, and while $10k is not nothing, it's like nothing for all of the work I did, especially if my work was good enough in the end, which seemed possible based on our discussions.

I'm curious, why don't you just tell him he owes you nothing, you'll keep the IP rights, and try to publish it under your own name?

I'm imagine the total value is lower without the "brand name" attached, but maybe it could increase the value of your own personal brand.

FIPurpose

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Re: Epic FU money stories
« Reply #2749 on: June 26, 2019, 11:11:34 AM »
I think he challenged the guy instead of taking a crappy deal. The chance at $300k (including possible collection re infringement) was worth more than $10k in hand. Because he haz FU $.

Epic!!

Thanks! You are correct. While I am not rich, I have some cushion via passive income, and a fairly paid profession.

I felt suspicious of this offer, and while $10k is not nothing, it's like nothing for all of the work I did, especially if my work was good enough in the end, which seemed possible based on our discussions.

I'm curious, why don't you just tell him he owes you nothing, you'll keep the IP rights, and try to publish it under your own name?

I'm imagine the total value is lower without the "brand name" attached, but maybe it could increase the value of your own personal brand.

I'm guessing he does not have a right to publish, only to a part of the royalties.