Epic FU money stories

[tedbendixson]

I remember back when I was 26. I had something like $5K in savings, and I wanted to spend more of my days snowboarding (basically work in the evenings and snowboard from 9-5).

I had a string of jobs in restaurants for years, most requiring mixed shifts. In my spare time, I was slowly building up a freelance writing clientele, but I didn't really feel comfortable enough to just go without a stable job for any extended period of time. That is, until a certain fateful job interview at the Bubba Gump Shrimp House (or whatever the hell it is) in Breckenridge Colorado.

The interviewer asked me which hours I would like to work. I told him I only wanted to work in the evenings so I could snowboard during the day.

He got really angry about it and treated me like some punk kid (probably with reason since there were a lot of punk kids trying to do the same). He told me my expectations were ridiculous.

At that point, I figured the interview was over. So I just casually said, "Okay, well this freelance writing thing I've been doing seems to be taking off, so I think I'll just keep doing that." I will never forget the puzzled look on that poor soul's face. Dude was speechless.

I ended up spending that winter doing exactly what I had set out to do. I went snowboarding nearly every day, and I worked on freelance writing projects at night. Most days, I only worked 2-3 hours. I ended up doing that for two more years, and I even took trips down to New Zealand in the summer to keep the good times rolling when we didn't have snow up north.

I eventually moved into higher paying jobs in software, but I try to remind myself of that experience every now and again. Back then, I was in a far weaker financial position than I'm in right now, but I had this sort of ballsy confidence that I could build a writing business out of a crowded snowboarding frat house, spending as little as a few hours a day on it.

My cushion is much bigger now, but none of that really matters because I have something no employer can take from me - the ability to spin up a business out of almost nothing. I've done it with iOS apps and recently software development tutoring. If I were ever to lose my high-paying work, I could easily start growing those businesses without skipping a beat. There's really nothing to fear at all.

So while I certainly love the warm and secure feeling that FU money gives me, I kind of think FU confidence is better. Sometimes I need to do a better job of channeling my younger self. I kind of had it together back then, albeit in a strange and offbeat lazy snowboarder kind of way.

[Bicycle_B]

Gotta admit, I admire that.  Two thumbs up.

[FIREby35]

tedbendixson: You are 100% on it. I've told my story earlier. But, basically, I learned the same lesson that earning money independently through entrepreneurship is one way to have perfect security - regardless of a huge stack of cash. I run a law firm now but I know I could start a lawn mowing business, Yoga teaching business, table waiting, really anything. There really are infinite ways of earning money when you stop and think about it. There is nothing to fear if you have physical health and are basically willing to help other people by working. If you add a massive stash to that then their really is nothing to fear but fear itself.

[Imma]

I finally have something to share in this thread too! :)  My s/o and I would like to have a family in the future, but for several reasons that's going to be quite difficult. First of all because of health issues, secondly because he's away from home a lot: he has his own business and a side job. We calculated this week that if we were to have a child (which will not happen any time soon, but hopefully a few years from now) we could afford for him to quit his job and become a SAHP! I would work my office job during the day, he would continue his business in the evenings/weekends.

In our calculations, we used our current spending + expected costs for the child (not much, health care is free). We've used my current income, even though I expect to get a few raises before then. We have calculated 0 from his business (unlikely) and 0 in tax credits and benefits (extremely unlikely) and still we'd be able to make ends meet. In this scenario our savings rate would be fairly low for about 4 years, but we would still be able to save a bit and don't expect to have to use our savings, and this is the worst case scenario. It would make us more dependent on my job, but I've got a stable job and there's a social security safety net in case I get ill + he could always get back to work in case it was really necessary.

Of course there's still the health side of it all, but on a financial/practical level this solves a lot of problems. He's always wanted to be a hands-on father and while I'd love to be a very hands-on mother, the reality is that I probably wouldn't be able to cope with all the housework and a young child. This way we both use our full potential: my earning potential is much higher than his and he will be a much better SAHP. He still has his business, so he's not 100% dependent on my income and can still pursue his passion. He wants to go back to work parttime when our kid is in school.

Even though this isn't happening now, we're both really excited about this :) this is the reward for our frugal life. We're on a relatively low income, but our bills are so low that we could live, as a family, on one parttime income. Over the next few years, we'll save some more and hopefully get a higher income and it would only be easier. It would delay FI by a few years, but I've always wanted a family most of all.

[former player]

I finally have something to share in this thread too! :)  My s/o and I would like to have a family in the future, but for several reasons that's going to be quite difficult. First of all because of health issues, secondly because he's away from home a lot: he has his own business and a side job. We calculated this week that if we were to have a child (which will not happen any time soon, but hopefully a few years from now) we could afford for him to quit his job and become a SAHP! I would work my office job during the day, he would continue his business in the evenings/weekends.

In our calculations, we used our current spending + expected costs for the child (not much, health care is free). We've used my current income, even though I expect to get a few raises before then. We have calculated 0 from his business (unlikely) and 0 in tax credits and benefits (extremely unlikely) and still we'd be able to make ends meet. In this scenario our savings rate would be fairly low for about 4 years, but we would still be able to save a bit and don't expect to have to use our savings, and this is the worst case scenario. It would make us more dependent on my job, but I've got a stable job and there's a social security safety net in case I get ill + he could always get back to work in case it was really necessary.

Of course there's still the health side of it all, but on a financial/practical level this solves a lot of problems. He's always wanted to be a hands-on father and while I'd love to be a very hands-on mother, the reality is that I probably wouldn't be able to cope with all the housework and a young child. This way we both use our full potential: my earning potential is much higher than his and he will be a much better SAHP. He still has his business, so he's not 100% dependent on my income and can still pursue his passion. He wants to go back to work parttime when our kid is in school.

Even though this isn't happening now, we're both really excited about this :) this is the reward for our frugal life. We're on a relatively low income, but our bills are so low that we could live, as a family, on one parttime income. Over the next few years, we'll save some more and hopefully get a higher income and it would only be easier. It would delay FI by a few years, but I've always wanted a family most of all.

What a lovely post, Imma.

[Bicycle_B]

Imma, that's wonderful!  True freedom, with purpose.  Very glad for you both.

[SwordGuy]

Bravo @Imma    FI preparedness really does give people options in life.   Yeah, you!

[Step37]

Really wonderful, Imma. :)

[BlueHouse]

... I only wanted to work in the evenings so I could snowboard during the day.
 He told me my expectations were ridiculous.

Even though I've been working toward a similar goal (at my advanced age of 50), I STILL think this when I hear it from the younger generations.  Of course, I've only met two People IRL (that I know of) who have their financial shit together and who could pull it off if they wanted to.  Everyone else seems to just think they should be handed everything on a silver platter instead of working hard for it.

I won't be so judgemental in the future though when I hear the dreams though.  When I hear it, I'll say "that's great!  How are you setting yourself up financially to achieve it?" 

What I used to refer to as a "beach bum", I'm slowly realizing should be called "someone who knows when they have enough" . 
Anyway, good story @tedbendixson.  Thanks for sharing!

[Dave1442397]

I know a guy who quit college to start a business back in the '80s, and was very successful with it. A few years ago, he wanted his son to go to college, and his son said "Why would I waste four years of my time and your money going to school when you could teach me how to become a millionaire?".

By the time the son's friends were graduating with the usual student loan debt, this kid had become a millionaire, and will never be an employee. FU money at that age is a great way to start out in life.

[Bicycle_B]

^wow

[tedbendixson]

... I only wanted to work in the evenings so I could snowboard during the day.
 He told me my expectations were ridiculous.

Even though I've been working toward a similar goal (at my advanced age of 50), I STILL think this when I hear it from the younger generations.  Of course, I've only met two People IRL (that I know of) who have their financial shit together and who could pull it off if they wanted to.  Everyone else seems to just think they should be handed everything on a silver platter instead of working hard for it.

I won't be so judgemental in the future though when I hear the dreams though.  When I hear it, I'll say "that's great!  How are you setting yourself up financially to achieve it?" 

What I used to refer to as a "beach bum", I'm slowly realizing should be called "someone who knows when they have enough" . 
Anyway, good story @tedbendixson.  Thanks for sharing!

Glad you like the story! I would say "ski bum" doesn't quite fit the sorts of activities my friends and I did (and some of us continue to do) on the slopes.

Frankly, many of the friends I saw each day were pursuing second careers as athletes. We would get up early and hit 60 foot jumps at 9:00 A.M., well before many people had their first cup of coffee. It was really fun and incredibly fulfilling (I still do this when I can but it's different with a full-time job in software).

Anyway, I just wouldn't want to downplay all of the hard work involved in getting to that level athletically, and I think that's a bit of context the guy interviewing me didn't quite have. He didn't see what my friends and I actually did out there. He just saw the typical partier stereotype, which is totally fair because that's what most mountain town 20 somethings are like.

I have a friend who's still really into it. He just turned 30. Lives in Breckenridge, works at the grocery store, makes a great salary, invests a large portion of it, and hits big jumps in the morning before work. We take park laps and discuss early retirement strategies on the chairlift.

If anything, my snowboarding friends are the ones most concerned with getting to FI. We've always known what we want. We opted out of the corporate world and dove right into it after school. It's just that in our 20s, many of us didn't have the financial education to actually achieve it. Now that some of us are waking up to it, our natural inclination is to go all-in. It's what we're used to.

[barbaz]

We take park laps and discuss early retirement strategies on the chairlift.

If anything, my snowboarding friends are the ones most concerned with getting to FI. We've always known what we want. We opted out of the corporate world and dove right into it after school. It's just that in our 20s, many of us didn't have the financial education to actually achieve it. Now that some of us are waking up to it, our natural inclination is to go all-in. It's what we're used to.

Being an avid snowboarder is a case where I could understand the old live-now-save-later mentality, but if you manage to do both that qualifies as epic.

[Zikoris]

Hmm... mild FU Money story?

My partner started up a side gig a couple of months ago, which has been going really well. Yesterday he asked for reduced hours at his day job, since he's getting buried alive in work between the two things. They said no. So he quit. And it won't harm us one penny financially.

[Luckyvik]

Hmm... mild FU Money story?

My partner started up a side gig a couple of months ago, which has been going really well. Yesterday he asked for reduced hours at his day job, since he's getting buried alive in work between the two things. They said no. So he quit. And it won't harm us one penny financially.

That's great! Congratulations!


Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk

[Dicey]

Hmm... mild FU Money story?

My partner started up a side gig a couple of months ago, which has been going really well. Yesterday he asked for reduced hours at his day job, since he's getting buried alive in work between the two things. They said no. So he quit. And it won't harm us one penny financially.

It counts. Good for you, plural!

[former player]

Hmm... mild FU Money story?

My partner started up a side gig a couple of months ago, which has been going really well. Yesterday he asked for reduced hours at his day job, since he's getting buried alive in work between the two things. They said no. So he quit. And it won't harm us one penny financially.

Not mild at all, but a full working through of the FU money principle.  Congrats to your partner, and to you for having an awesome mustachian partner.

[By the River]

Hmm... mild FU Money story?

My partner started up a side gig a couple of months ago, which has been going really well. Yesterday he asked for reduced hours at his day job, since he's getting buried alive in work between the two things. They said no. So he quit. And it won't harm us one penny financially.

It counts. Good for you, plural!

Wouldn't that be y'all?   

Also great for y'all!

[Warlord1986]

I remember back when I was 26. I had something like $5K in savings, and I wanted to spend more of my days snowboarding (basically work in the evenings and snowboard from 9-5).

I had a string of jobs in restaurants for years, most requiring mixed shifts. In my spare time, I was slowly building up a freelance writing clientele, but I didn't really feel comfortable enough to just go without a stable job for any extended period of time. That is, until a certain fateful job interview at the Bubba Gump Shrimp House (or whatever the hell it is) in Breckenridge Colorado.

The interviewer asked me which hours I would like to work. I told him I only wanted to work in the evenings so I could snowboard during the day.

He got really angry about it and treated me like some punk kid (probably with reason since there were a lot of punk kids trying to do the same). He told me my expectations were ridiculous.

At that point, I figured the interview was over. So I just casually said, "Okay, well this freelance writing thing I've been doing seems to be taking off, so I think I'll just keep doing that." I will never forget the puzzled look on that poor soul's face. Dude was speechless.

I ended up spending that winter doing exactly what I had set out to do. I went snowboarding nearly every day, and I worked on freelance writing projects at night. Most days, I only worked 2-3 hours. I ended up doing that for two more years, and I even took trips down to New Zealand in the summer to keep the good times rolling when we didn't have snow up north.

I eventually moved into higher paying jobs in software, but I try to remind myself of that experience every now and again. Back then, I was in a far weaker financial position than I'm in right now, but I had this sort of ballsy confidence that I could build a writing business out of a crowded snowboarding frat house, spending as little as a few hours a day on it.

My cushion is much bigger now, but none of that really matters because I have something no employer can take from me - the ability to spin up a business out of almost nothing. I've done it with iOS apps and recently software development tutoring. If I were ever to lose my high-paying work, I could easily start growing those businesses without skipping a beat. There's really nothing to fear at all.

So while I certainly love the warm and secure feeling that FU money gives me, I kind of think FU confidence is better. Sometimes I need to do a better job of channeling my younger self. I kind of had it together back then, albeit in a strange and offbeat lazy snowboarder kind of way.

I need you to adopt me and teach me your ways.

[MrMoogle]

Hmm... mild FU Money story?

My partner started up a side gig a couple of months ago, which has been going really well. Yesterday he asked for reduced hours at his day job, since he's getting buried alive in work between the two things. They said no. So he quit. And it won't harm us one penny financially.

It counts. Good for you, plural!

Wouldn't that be y'all?   

Also great for y'all!

Y'all can be singular too, in certain areas, so they say "all y'all."

[Rural]

Hmm... mild FU Money story?

My partner started up a side gig a couple of months ago, which has been going really well. Yesterday he asked for reduced hours at his day job, since he's getting buried alive in work between the two things. They said no. So he quit. And it won't harm us one penny financially.

It counts. Good for you, plural!

Wouldn't that be y'all?   

Also great for y'all!

Y'all can be singular too, in certain areas, so they say "all y'all."

Y’all is plural; “all y’all” is for emphasis, as in, “I caint believe all y’all went along with Bob on that one. John and Joe at least shoulda known better.”

[MrMoogle]

Hmm... mild FU Money story?

My partner started up a side gig a couple of months ago, which has been going really well. Yesterday he asked for reduced hours at his day job, since he's getting buried alive in work between the two things. They said no. So he quit. And it won't harm us one penny financially.

It counts. Good for you, plural!

Wouldn't that be y'all?   

Also great for y'all!

Y'all can be singular too, in certain areas, so they say "all y'all."

Y’all is plural; “all y’all” is for emphasis, as in, “I caint believe all y’all went along with Bob on that one. John and Joe at least shoulda known better.”

I've definitely heard it refer to a single person, and I've heard many people use it that way.

[Dicey]

Hmm... mild FU Money story?

My partner started up a side gig a couple of months ago, which has been going really well. Yesterday he asked for reduced hours at his day job, since he's getting buried alive in work between the two things. They said no. So he quit. And it won't harm us one penny financially.

It counts. Good for you, plural!

Wouldn't that be y'all?   

Also great for y'all!

Y'all can be singular too, in certain areas, so they say "all y'all."

Y’all is plural; “all y’all” is for emphasis, as in, “I caint believe all y’all went along with Billy Bob on that one. John Boy and Joe Junior at least shoulda known better.”

FTFY. These may or may not be actual relatives.

[solon]

+1 for the singular y'all. It's much rarer than the plural y'all, but it does happen.

ETA: in this Tim Hawkins stand up, Tim uses the singular y'all to poke fun at the Durant, OK Shakespeare Festival. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk0xOkgGbNY

[Rural]

+1 for the singular y'all. It's much rarer than the plural y'all, but it does happen.

ETA: in this Tim Hawkins stand up, Tim uses the singular y'all to poke fun at the Durant, OK Shakespeare Festival. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk0xOkgGbNY

Oh, some comedy routines have it presented as singular, but it’s not an accurate reflection of the dialect.*


@Dicey, I know you didn’t mean to be offensive, but I chose the names I did in order to avoid stereotypes in discussing one of the dialects of American English. [I debated for quite a while at the phonetic spellings, but eventually used them because I was discussing dialect.]


I don’t mean to jump on you, because I know it’s hard to think of a group of largely Caucasian people as having any sort of minority status, but I’d argue that we aren’t doing southerners, Appalachians, or the rest of the country any favors when we** present the first two groups as universally backward, inbred, etc, but then turn around and expect them to avoid/overcome cultural racism, sexism, or whatever.




* One source, admittedly a bit dated but accessible online, that discusses the singular y’all controversy from a linguist’s point of view: https://www.jstor.org/stable/454993?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents

**I’m not saying that’s what you were doing, just that the sort of jokes you presented do tend to feed into that sort of thing. Again, I don’t mean to jump on you, just draw it to all of our attention. It’s not something most non- southern or Appalachian Americans have thought about, or have even been asked to think about, but I think it’s one small part of the current divisions in our country.

[Rural]

Hmm... mild FU Money story?

My partner started up a side gig a couple of months ago, which has been going really well. Yesterday he asked for reduced hours at his day job, since he's getting buried alive in work between the two things. They said no. So he quit. And it won't harm us one penny financially.

It counts. Good for you, plural!

Wouldn't that be y'all?   

Also great for y'all!

Y'all can be singular too, in certain areas, so they say "all y'all."

Y’all is plural; “all y’all” is for emphasis, as in, “I caint believe all y’all went along with Bob on that one. John and Joe at least shoulda known better.”

I've definitely heard it refer to a single person, and I've heard many people use it that way.

Sorry for the double post, but I missed this somehow and didn’t want to ignore you. Are you sure the uses you heard weren’t the polite distinction between addressee and referent that the article above discusses? As in I might say to someone I run into at the grocery story, “how are y’all doing these days?” But the question (and usually the answer) will be about how the whole family is doing rather than the one person at the store. So it seems like the word is grammatically singular because only one representative of the family is standing there in front of me when I say it, but I did mean the group. That is very common in my experience as well as in studies like tat one.


It is a controversy, but not all that much of one in linguistics. It’s more debated outside academic circles because it’s been presented as singular, I would argue erroneously, so much in popular culture.

[fantabulous]

Y'all is gender neutral, so it's finding use in northern social justice circles as well.

[fuzzy math]

Oh, some comedy routines have it presented as singular, but it’s not an accurate reflection of the dialect.*


@Dicey, I know you didn’t mean to be offensive, but I chose the names I did in order to avoid stereotypes in discussing one of the dialects of American English. [I debated for quite a while at the phonetic spellings, but eventually used them because I was discussing dialect.]


I don’t mean to jump on you, because I know it’s hard to think of a group of largely Caucasian people as having any sort of minority status, but I’d argue that we aren’t doing southerners, Appalachians, or the rest of the country any favors when we** present the first two groups as universally backward, inbred, etc, but then turn around and expect them to avoid/overcome cultural racism, sexism, or whatever.

* One source, admittedly a bit dated but accessible online, that discusses the singular y’all controversy from a linguist’s point of view: https://www.jstor.org/stable/454993?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents

**I’m not saying that’s what you were doing, just that the sort of jokes you presented do tend to feed into that sort of thing. Again, I don’t mean to jump on you, just draw it to all of our attention. It’s not something most non- southern or Appalachian Americans have thought about, or have even been asked to think about, but I think it’s one small part of the current divisions in our country.

I appreciate you saying this, it's something I've never thought of. When you compare it to making racist/ethnics jokes against non Caucasian minorities and thinking of how offensive it is, I can see how this does create more of a divide.

[Rural]

Y'all is gender neutral, so it's finding use in northern social justice circles as well.

That’s pretty cool. It’s fairly universal in the Navy as well, or was some number of years ago when my husband served. The language needs a second person plural.

ETA thanks, fuzzy_math. I’m trying hard not to be offensive myself, which I think would be easy to do in this context.

[MrMoogle]

Hmm... mild FU Money story?

My partner started up a side gig a couple of months ago, which has been going really well. Yesterday he asked for reduced hours at his day job, since he's getting buried alive in work between the two things. They said no. So he quit. And it won't harm us one penny financially.

It counts. Good for you, plural!

Wouldn't that be y'all?   

Also great for y'all!

Y'all can be singular too, in certain areas, so they say "all y'all."

Y’all is plural; “all y’all” is for emphasis, as in, “I caint believe all y’all went along with Bob on that one. John and Joe at least shoulda known better.”

I've definitely heard it refer to a single person, and I've heard many people use it that way.

Sorry for the double post, but I missed this somehow and didn’t want to ignore you. Are you sure the uses you heard weren’t the polite distinction between addressee and referent that the article above discusses? As in I might say to someone I run into at the grocery story, “how are y’all doing these days?” But the question (and usually the answer) will be about how the whole family is doing rather than the one person at the store. So it seems like the word is grammatically singular because only one representative of the family is standing there in front of me when I say it, but I did mean the group. That is very common in my experience as well as in studies like tat one.


It is a controversy, but not all that much of one in linguistics. It’s more debated outside academic circles because it’s been presented as singular, I would argue erroneously, so much in popular culture.

So when I hear it in what I call "singular", it's both singular and plural.  Plural because it water downs the rest of the sentence, but directed to a single person.

For example: "Yall need to watch when you back out" to the driver that just backed into them.  It sounds less aggressive than saying "you."  It makes it sound like it wasn't just that driver's fault, like there's a group at fault.

"Yall need to take out the trash," when I'm the only other one in the room.  Technically, I could have gotten her husband to do it when he got back, but she knew I would do it for her, and this was her way of getting me to do it. 

I guess both cases fit into the article, since the reason it works is because it's plural.

[Rural]

Hmm... mild FU Money story?

My partner started up a side gig a couple of months ago, which has been going really well. Yesterday he asked for reduced hours at his day job, since he's getting buried alive in work between the two things. They said no. So he quit. And it won't harm us one penny financially.

It counts. Good for you, plural!

Wouldn't that be y'all?   

Also great for y'all!

Y'all can be singular too, in certain areas, so they say "all y'all."

Y’all is plural; “all y’all” is for emphasis, as in, “I caint believe all y’all went along with Bob on that one. John and Joe at least shoulda known better.”

I've definitely heard it refer to a single person, and I've heard many people use it that way.

Sorry for the double post, but I missed this somehow and didn’t want to ignore you. Are you sure the uses you heard weren’t the polite distinction between addressee and referent that the article above discusses? As in I might say to someone I run into at the grocery story, “how are y’all doing these days?” But the question (and usually the answer) will be about how the whole family is doing rather than the one person at the store. So it seems like the word is grammatically singular because only one representative of the family is standing there in front of me when I say it, but I did mean the group. That is very common in my experience as well as in studies like tat one.


It is a controversy, but not all that much of one in linguistics. It’s more debated outside academic circles because it’s been presented as singular, I would argue erroneously, so much in popular culture.

So when I hear it in what I call "singular", it's both singular and plural.  Plural because it water downs the rest of the sentence, but directed to a single person.

For example: "Yall need to watch when you back out" to the driver that just backed into them.  It sounds less aggressive than saying "you."  It makes it sound like it wasn't just that driver's fault, like there's a group at fault.

"Yall need to take out the trash," when I'm the only other one in the room.  Technically, I could have gotten her husband to do it when he got back, but she knew I would do it for her, and this was her way of getting me to do it. 

I guess both cases fit into the article, since the reason it works is because it's plural.

That’s very interesting. I’d say yes, your trash example falls into the kind of thing I’m talking about, sort of spreading out responsibility. With the backing into someone, I’ve having trouble seeing how it could work that way if there was only one person in the car. Both driver and car need to be more careful? Surely not. Easier to see it working that way if there was a passenger, I suppose. Then it could have been sort of the passenger’s fault if he or she was distracting the driver, and the polite y’all avoids assigning blame to either person directly. But a solo driver, not so much. If that was the case, it sounds a lot closer to a singular y’all than anything else I’ve seen.

[MrMoogle]

*snip*
So when I hear it in what I call "singular", it's both singular and plural.  Plural because it water downs the rest of the sentence, but directed to a single person.

For example: "Yall need to watch when you back out" to the driver that just backed into them.  It sounds less aggressive than saying "you."  It makes it sound like it wasn't just that driver's fault, like there's a group at fault.

"Yall need to take out the trash," when I'm the only other one in the room.  Technically, I could have gotten her husband to do it when he got back, but she knew I would do it for her, and this was her way of getting me to do it. 

I guess both cases fit into the article, since the reason it works is because it's plural.

That’s very interesting. I’d say yes, your trash example falls into the kind of thing I’m talking about, sort of spreading out responsibility. With the backing into someone, I’ve having trouble seeing how it could work that way if there was only one person in the car. Both driver and car need to be more careful? Surely not. Easier to see it working that way if there was a passenger, I suppose. Then it could have been sort of the passenger’s fault if he or she was distracting the driver, and the polite y’all avoids assigning blame to either person directly. But a solo driver, not so much. If that was the case, it sounds a lot closer to a singular y’all than anything else I’ve seen.

The driver example is spreading out blame too, it's just ambiguous to who else it is getting spread to.  The group of drivers who back into people, or something like that.  I guess it's a reminder that other people do it too.

[Dicey]

There are many long quotes here. I have removed those that do not directly apply for clarity.

Rural said this:

Y’all is plural; “all y’all” is for emphasis, as in, “I caint believe all y’all went along with Bob on that one. John and Joe at least shoulda known better.”

Then Dicey added this:

Y’all is plural; “all y’all” is for emphasis, as in, “I caint believe all y’all went along with Billy Bob on that one. John Boy and Joe Junior at least shoulda known better.”

FTFY. These may or may not be actual relatives.

Now Rural is saying this:

@Dicey, I know you didn’t mean to be offensive, but I chose the names I did in order to avoid stereotypes in discussing one of the dialects of American English. [I debated for quite a while at the phonetic spellings, but eventually used them because I was discussing dialect.]

I don’t mean to jump on you, because I know it’s hard to think of a group of largely Caucasian people as having any sort of minority status, but I’d argue that we aren’t doing southerners, Appalachians, or the rest of the country any favors when we** present the first two groups as universally backward, inbred, etc, but then turn around and expect them to avoid/overcome cultural racism, sexism, or whatever

**I’m not sayilng that’s what you were doing, just that the sort of jokes you presented do tend to feed into that sort of thing. Again, I don’t mean to jump on you, just draw it to all of our attention. It’s not something most non- southern or Appalachian Americans have thought about, or have even been asked to think about, but I think it’s one small part of the current divisions in our country.

I am gobsmacked, Rural. You used "caint" [sic] and "shoulda", so I made the names more Southern sounding, based on my long experience working for companies based in the South. You made a joke and I riffed on it, using my actual life experience. I could literally hear my old boss's voice when I read your post. He was from Rome, GA, and is the first person I ever heard say "cain't". He did it often, but I found it most incongruous when he did it while wearing a suit and tie, giving a sales presentation. His sons may have actually been given double names at birth and been addressed by both names their whole lives. This happens quite often in the South, and far less often elsewhere in the United States. That is simply a fact. I also claimed these type of double names as possibly belonging to family members, which is pretty damn inclusive.

@Rural, you made the joke, I expanded it based on my real life and now I'm being accused (but "not jumped on") of belittling Appalchian Americans and contributing to the "current divisions in our country"? Huh.

If you have any further criticisms, kindly send me a PM. In offering this explanation, if I have somehow managed to offend you further, please know that is not my intention, just as I am positive you did not intend to insult me.

[Trifele]

*snip*
So when I hear it in what I call "singular", it's both singular and plural.  Plural because it water downs the rest of the sentence, but directed to a single person.

For example: "Yall need to watch when you back out" to the driver that just backed into them.  It sounds less aggressive than saying "you."  It makes it sound like it wasn't just that driver's fault, like there's a group at fault.

"Yall need to take out the trash," when I'm the only other one in the room.  Technically, I could have gotten her husband to do it when he got back, but she knew I would do it for her, and this was her way of getting me to do it. 

I guess both cases fit into the article, since the reason it works is because it's plural.

That’s very interesting. I’d say yes, your trash example falls into the kind of thing I’m talking about, sort of spreading out responsibility. With the backing into someone, I’ve having trouble seeing how it could work that way if there was only one person in the car. Both driver and car need to be more careful? Surely not. Easier to see it working that way if there was a passenger, I suppose. Then it could have been sort of the passenger’s fault if he or she was distracting the driver, and the polite y’all avoids assigning blame to either person directly. But a solo driver, not so much. If that was the case, it sounds a lot closer to a singular y’all than anything else I’ve seen.

The driver example is spreading out blame too, it's just ambiguous to who else it is getting spread to.  The group of drivers who back into people, or something like that.  I guess it's a reminder that other people do it too.

Thanks @Rural and @MrMoogle -- This is is a super interesting discussion.  I'm a lifetime northerner who moved to the southern appalachians just a few years ago.  I have really been enjoying hearing and learning the dialects here.  (Dialects plural -- there are at least two very distinct ones, which I have had explained to me in various ways.) 

I think I've also heard y'all used singularly, but I can't remember the exact context.  Now thanks to this discussion I will be focused on it.  I love the word y'all and use it often, but I usually pronounce it "you all" because I feel like I sound stupid saying it in one syllable, with my northern accent.

There is another plural you that I hear sometimes in this area as a substitute for y'all -- it sounds like "yewns" or "yuns."  Two of my coworkers use that word, and they say they just grew up with it.  They are both from rural areas, small towns, maybe an hour apart.  I am guessing it is a "rural southern" thing?

[dcheesi]

*snip*
So when I hear it in what I call "singular", it's both singular and plural.  Plural because it water downs the rest of the sentence, but directed to a single person.

For example: "Yall need to watch when you back out" to the driver that just backed into them.  It sounds less aggressive than saying "you."  It makes it sound like it wasn't just that driver's fault, like there's a group at fault.

"Yall need to take out the trash," when I'm the only other one in the room.  Technically, I could have gotten her husband to do it when he got back, but she knew I would do it for her, and this was her way of getting me to do it. 

I guess both cases fit into the article, since the reason it works is because it's plural.

That’s very interesting. I’d say yes, your trash example falls into the kind of thing I’m talking about, sort of spreading out responsibility. With the backing into someone, I’ve having trouble seeing how it could work that way if there was only one person in the car. Both driver and car need to be more careful? Surely not. Easier to see it working that way if there was a passenger, I suppose. Then it could have been sort of the passenger’s fault if he or she was distracting the driver, and the polite y’all avoids assigning blame to either person directly. But a solo driver, not so much. If that was the case, it sounds a lot closer to a singular y’all than anything else I’ve seen.

The driver example is spreading out blame too, it's just ambiguous to who else it is getting spread to.  The group of drivers who back into people, or something like that.  I guess it's a reminder that other people do it too.

Thanks @Rural and @MrMoogle -- This is is a super interesting discussion.  I'm a lifetime northerner who moved to the southern appalachians just a few years ago.  I have really been enjoying hearing and learning the dialects here.  (Dialects plural -- there are at least two very distinct ones, which I have had explained to me in various ways.) 

I think I've also heard y'all used singularly, but I can't remember the exact context.  Now thanks to this discussion I will be focused on it.  I love the word y'all and use it often, but I usually pronounce it "you all" because I feel like I sound stupid saying it in one syllable, with my northern accent.

There is another plural you that I hear sometimes in this area as a substitute for y'all -- it sounds like "yewns" or "yuns."  Two of my coworkers use that word, and they say they just grew up with it.  They are both from rural areas, small towns, maybe an hour apart.  I am guessing it is a "rural southern" thing?

I might be mistaken, but I thought "yuins" or "you-uns" was a actually more of an Appalachian thing, as opposed to the mostly Southern "y'all"?

[CowboyAndIndian]

Can we please return the subject to Epic FU Stories!!

[Rubic]

I might be mistaken, but I thought "yuins" or "you-uns" was a actually more of an Appalachian thing, as opposed to the mostly Southern "y'all"?

I used to hear "you-uns" (and occassionally "we-uns") in rural Eastern Tennessee, but
it doesn't appear to be part of the regional dialect anymore -- at least in the places I travel.

[Dicey]

Can we please return the subject to Epic FU Stories!!

Sure. Do you have any?

[markbike528CBX]

Can we please return the subject to Epic FU Stories!!

Sure. Do you have any?

Un-Epic to set a really low bar to get the thread on track.
Last day, greeting, handshaking, all the way around, smiles.
Semi-Epic (for me), I went out to lunch and had my first work lunch beer ever.
Then, on my drive home listened to Soup Dragons "I'm Free (12" Extended Mix / Remastered)"

There, low bar set y'all.

[Rural]

Can we please return the subject to Epic FU Stories!!

Sure. Do you have any?

Un-Epic to set a really low bar to get the thread on track.
Last day, greeting, handshaking, all the way around, smiles.
Semi-Epic (for me), I went out to lunch and had my first work lunch beer ever.
Then, on my drive home listened to Soup Dragons "I'm Free (12" Extended Mix / Remastered)"

There, low bar set y'all.

Congrats!

[Bicycle_B]

A friend of mine volunteered helping the homeless. Finally after years of making meals for them, arranging a warm place to sleep on freezing nights, and then setting up a safe space for them to visit on Sunday afternoons with computers to use in addition to a much-needed bathroom, the various donors raised enough money to pay Mr. Friend a small salary.

FU move #1 - no more retail jobs for Mr. F!

FU move #2 - after a year or two of further diligence, Mr. F decided that he deserved this thing rumors call "vacation." Which in his view meant some thrifty but oh so satisfying travel. He searched locations, searched out cheap tickets, found a match, bought the ticket. Then he announced to volunteers and donors when he was going to be out of town, and organized the volunteers to fill in when he was gone.

That was a couple of years ago.  In addition to annual 2 week journeys abroad, Mr. F soon began arranging shorter trips that he could do in between work days. Yesterday, Mr. F returned from what I think is his seventh FU trip. It seems to have been just as satisfying as the first.

[CowboyAndIndian]

Can we please return the subject to Epic FU Stories!!

Sure. Do you have any?

I sure do @Dicey Heres the link from my original posting [where I was the one derailing the thread ;-) ]

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/epic-fu-money-stories/msg1172508/#msg1172508

[Dicey]

Can we please return the subject to Epic FU Stories!!

Sure. Do you have any?

I sure do @Dicey Heres the link from my original posting [where I was the one derailing the thread ;-) ]

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/epic-fu-money-stories/msg1172508/#msg1172508

I remember it well because it was epic. That was a you plural plea for new material. I'm just doing my tiny part to keep one of my favorite threads alive. Got any new stories? <Snirt>

I'm <snirting> because I believe you've been an exemplary mustachian and stayed retired. Anyone else?

[GeeVee]

Okay, this is the story of my parents. As a background, my father was a factory worker and my mother was a house wife. They were very frugal as they grew up in relative poverty during the crises years and were teenagers during World War II years in the Netherlands. At that time, I am talking mid 1950s, my dad got paid weekly in cash. The factory owner would hand out envelopes with money at the end of the week.

On one Friday afternoon, dad went to the office to get his money. His boss said to him 'Here is your wage for the week, but I don't think you deserve it'. Dad responded by saying 'If you don't think that I worked hard enough to earn my money, I don't want it'. He wished the boss a good weekend and left the office without the cash. The boss' wife then went to see my mother and tried her to give my dad's wages for the week. My mother refused to take the money by saying that if her husband did not want to take his wages home for whatever reason, there was no possible way that she could accept it.

The continuous refusal caused great panic with the boss and his wife. Whatever they said, mum and dad refused to accept the money, until the boss finally admitted that my father had worked hard that week and had deservedly earned his wage.  Boss had miscalculated and thought they were living paycheck to paycheck, whilst my parents always had money in the bank and did not need the cash. They rocked !!

[rab]

Love this story, @GeeVee !

[NykkiC]

Okay, this is the story of my parents. As a background, my father was a factory worker and my mother was a house wife. They were very frugal as they grew up in relative poverty during the crises years and were teenagers during World War II years in the Netherlands. At that time, I am talking mid 1950s, my dad got paid weekly in cash. The factory owner would hand out envelopes with money at the end of the week.

On one Friday afternoon, dad went to the office to get his money. His boss said to him 'Here is your wage for the week, but I don't think you deserve it'. Dad responded by saying 'If you don't think that I worked hard enough to earn my money, I don't want it'. He wished the boss a good weekend and left the office without the cash. The boss' wife then went to see my mother and tried her to give my dad's wages for the week. My mother refused to take the money by saying that if her husband did not want to take his wages home for whatever reason, there was no possible way that she could accept it.

The continuous refusal caused great panic with the boss and his wife. Whatever they said, mum and dad refused to accept the money, until the boss finally admitted that my father had worked hard that week and had deservedly earned his wage.  Boss had miscalculated and thought they were living paycheck to paycheck, whilst my parents always had money in the bank and did not need the cash. They rocked !!

 Excellent story!

It never ceases to amaze me the difference between how a not insignificant percent of supervisors/bosses/employers will treat someone when they think that person is powerless to leave and how they behave when they realise that the employee doesn’t have to put up with them.

[SwordGuy]

Okay, this is the story of my parents. As a background, my father was a factory worker and my mother was a house wife. They were very frugal as they grew up in relative poverty during the crises years and were teenagers during World War II years in the Netherlands. At that time, I am talking mid 1950s, my dad got paid weekly in cash. The factory owner would hand out envelopes with money at the end of the week.

On one Friday afternoon, dad went to the office to get his money. His boss said to him 'Here is your wage for the week, but I don't think you deserve it'. Dad responded by saying 'If you don't think that I worked hard enough to earn my money, I don't want it'. He wished the boss a good weekend and left the office without the cash. The boss' wife then went to see my mother and tried her to give my dad's wages for the week. My mother refused to take the money by saying that if her husband did not want to take his wages home for whatever reason, there was no possible way that she could accept it.

The continuous refusal caused great panic with the boss and his wife. Whatever they said, mum and dad refused to accept the money, until the boss finally admitted that my father had worked hard that week and had deservedly earned his wage.  Boss had miscalculated and thought they were living paycheck to paycheck, whilst my parents always had money in the bank and did not need the cash. They rocked !!

 Excellent story!

It never ceases to amaze me the difference between how a not insignificant percent of supervisors/bosses/employers will treat someone when they think that person is powerless to leave and how they behave when they realise that the employee doesn’t have to put up with them.

Classic bully behavior.   Pick on the weak and defenseless.   Step back from those who are willing and able to fight.

[Daisy]

Can we please return the subject to Epic FU Stories!!

Maybe this thread should be retitled "Epic FY money stories". F y'all!

Disclaimer: I am not southern and don't expect to know all of the nuances of "y'all". But they do all seem to start with the letter Y.

[RyanAtTanagra]

Okay, this is the story of my parents. As a background, my father was a factory worker and my mother was a house wife. They were very frugal as they grew up in relative poverty during the crises years and were teenagers during World War II years in the Netherlands. At that time, I am talking mid 1950s, my dad got paid weekly in cash. The factory owner would hand out envelopes with money at the end of the week.

On one Friday afternoon, dad went to the office to get his money. His boss said to him 'Here is your wage for the week, but I don't think you deserve it'. Dad responded by saying 'If you don't think that I worked hard enough to earn my money, I don't want it'. He wished the boss a good weekend and left the office without the cash. The boss' wife then went to see my mother and tried her to give my dad's wages for the week. My mother refused to take the money by saying that if her husband did not want to take his wages home for whatever reason, there was no possible way that she could accept it.

The continuous refusal caused great panic with the boss and his wife. Whatever they said, mum and dad refused to accept the money, until the boss finally admitted that my father had worked hard that week and had deservedly earned his wage.  Boss had miscalculated and thought they were living paycheck to paycheck, whilst my parents always had money in the bank and did not need the cash. They rocked !!

This is now one of my favorite stories.  Refusing money being handed to you is even more epic and FU than taking it and quitting.

[MrMoogle]

Can we please return the subject to Epic FU Stories!!

Maybe this thread should be retitled "Epic FY money stories". F y'all!

Disclaimer: I am not southern and don't expect to know all of the nuances of "y'all". But they do all seem to start with the letter Y.

I don't recall hearing "F**k yall" although I'm sure it's been said.  It's usually just "bless your heart" around here.