I wish I could share half the things I would like to here. And some others' stories, too. But alas, anonymity and all that.
However, I'll share some of my alternative uses of FU money (along the theme of this thread). To me, FU money is helpful for self-respect - it empowers you to respect yourself, your family, and your other priorities, too. On to the story part.
At the time, I had a nice-sized emergency fund and realized I could live on very little. I wasn't retired yet, and still am not (or even close), but I also realized that I didn't need to put up with the same level of nonsense I would back when I desperately needed a job (due to debt), either. Life is short -- too short for some kinds of awfulness -- as I have learned through some hard lessons over the years.
So, my FU Money empowered me to start saying "no" to nonsense. We need you to work through your holiday (on a project we have known was coming for months or weeks but didn't care enough to prepare for)? No. Move my wedding to work on a project that I asked not to be on because the deadlines were during my honeymoon? No. (With that one, I said I didn't care if I had a job or not when I came back - I would be gone, and they could figure it out. They did. And lo, I still had a job - with as much job security as ever, if not more, because they knew they needed me.) Do something unethical, even though nobody would ever know it but me? No. Put my name on something that is absolutely awful and demonstrably wrong, just to look like we're doing something about a problem? No. Find someone else.
The result: managers began internalizing the costs of their own failures - to plan, to allocate, and to care about people. The workplace improved some. I stopped hating my job every day, worrying about the next bomb that would drop. I simply said no to bombs, and started making people respect some personal boundaries. I don't check work email at 2PM on a Sunday or stay up all night for the job anymore, and that's just how it is.
After a while, the problem manager labeled me "Mr. No." I just smiled. This was ironic, as I worked hard, still put up with a good deal of the typical nonsense, and they knew this - which is why I kept getting the really tough last-minute things. However, my own boss gained tremendous respect for me as a result, and began saying no more as well.
Soon, the worst nonsense work began going elsewhere. Management learned that I would not put up with it. Eventually, I left the job anyway, even with nothing even lined up (no bridge-burning epic FU story about it; I kept it very professional, even though I told them why I left). After I left, my former colleagues called me to ask if I could help them strategize about obtaining new positions or if I could hire them now. Some simply burned out and quit. Before long, all but a few were gone. My old boss, the good one, called and offered to hire me pretty much anytime, anywhere. Others realized that I wasn't bankrupt and didn't seem too concerned, so they asked for help with finances. Sadly, I cannot imagine that it's better now for the few who remained. As former colleagues left, they opened up more, and I learned that (as I suspected) it was even worse than I knew. Most who stayed had no good options.
I have witnessed, first-hand, what toxic jobs can do to a person's health, well-being, and relationships. Life's too short.
I spent my 20s learning that the courageous choice is the right one - to do the right thing even when it seems like a financial (emotional, relational, or general) disaster. I never look back from those choices. As one wise relative put it, "it's the things I didn't do that I regret." FU money doesn't create character - it more so magnifies whatever character is present - but it empowers you to make good choices by making those choices cheaper and easier to make. The hardest thing to do - that nags at you - is usually the one thing you need to do. Over the years, those choices in my life have paid far more dividends than the rest, and continue doing so to this day. (One of them led me into a relationship with my wife, but that's another story for another blog post . . .)
And wouldn't you know: the day after I left the job, God sent me a check in the mail worth a couple of months' salary, totally unexpected. I expected, someday, a check for maybe $100. Nothing like that ever happened before in my life, and nothing like that has ever happened since. I learned a lot about not worrying, faith, and trust. Now I take each day's problems as they come, rather than worrying how the next year will turn out.
Meanwhile, that old employer never could figure out why other people wouldn't go work there, accept their offers, and so on. I did not dish on them, as you may suspect: instead, I just never recommend them. I'm sure someone else put the word out, and probably not as diplomatically as I would have.
My history and FU money - and especially God - had put me in a position of strength: I was then offered jobs based upon reputation, which made finding new work easy. In fact, it was too easy: I first had to turn down things that paid well or had some attractiveness, but probably had similar demands. (Again, thanks to the FU funds for making it easier.) I love where I went next - my life is so much better - and I have never looked back. Better hours, better pay per hour, better benefits, better health care, far better work, and far less stress. Life's too short.
