Was forwarded this email yesterday from an engineer at our company who had finally had enough. I looked up the people he refers to and it's all legit. Pretty epic way to walk if you ask me! Names changed to protect the innocent.
"Date: 08/01/2016 06:02 AM
Subject: Letter of Resignation (and so much more)
To whom it may concern:
First the formal part...
This letter is to tender my resignation from XYZ as of 6:00 AM Monday August 1, 2016. Before 6:00 AM I was an engineer for XYZ. Based on today's work, I expect my health insurance to continue through the end of August 2016.
Now for the fun part...
Why did I quit? What would drive an engineering tech lead for an incredibly successful machine , (sold out for the year by the beginning of July!), to quit XYZ?
I'll explain this, but I'll do so in a way that Millennials would understand. How does one communicate to Millennials? Why it's simple, through youtube videos, GIFs, and internet memes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJtrLKGZZFg
As this move progresses, and more people begin to find other opportunities and say goodbye the only way they know how: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eGJOqMHsDI
(BTW my middle finger extends especially high to Rob, Nicole, and Paul. You were horrible to work with and relied on the shoulders of engineering to do your jobs for you and point out where you were absolutely worthless.)
The group will continue to spiral downhill and lose the people that actually do the work! Soon, Krishna, Klaus, and Tom this is who you'll be leading... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bj563ViG7Qg
Krishna, in the future, it would be best to not cancel your all employee meetings because it's summer, people are on vacation, and you're SO busy moving. You don't get bumped up two salary grades and get to do things like that... if you continue with a leadership style like that, you may have to take that hope of creating a crown jewel by taking one of your motivational emails and... well... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O42K4EwVssQ
And Klaus, you're welcome for giving you the ABC which is saving sales. Since you are only capable of listening to those that are yelling at you the loudest at any given time, here goes: YOU ONLY GOT THAT JOB BECAUSE YOU SPEAK GERMAN. The reality is you're a horrible product manager. You decided not to fund the ABC even though customers are buying them like crazy. You also decided to send Rob to represent the ABC at the conference in Vegas rather than me to please your BFF Heiko. Rob, a guy who didn't know how to look up a drawing until recently, over a tech lead who delivered you a machine on time, on cost, and on quality targets.
And Tom, so, yeah, well, you know, you're a guy from Cali-Iowa, who, you know, yeah, well
Only in a company like XYZ could a VP of a group losing millions of dollars a quarter still be allowed to continue on with his idea to move a huge group of employees, and only that company would think the plan would work and be successful. Although I'm sure if you pull the critical OPACC levers and execute on your winning playbook everyone will be non-monetarily compensated for their hard work.
Finally to my colleagues (those of you below a salary grade XX), you can find a job that pays you as much as XYZ, who's benefits are just as good, and who's business cycle won't be like riding a roller-coaster. I would gladly review anyone's resume and give you numerous websites for job hunting. I can be reached at the email listed in the CC of this email. I hope this email will give you something to laugh about and motivate you to look for other opportunities on an otherwise dismal day at the office.
For those frothing at the mouth and grinding your teeth, remember, I have brain cancer, and I'll probably be dead way before you. (I thank whatever gods may be that I'll die in Wisconsin and not there.)
I'll think back at my time at XYZ as I play hockey with my kids on my backyard rink during the winter, sit on the beaches of Lake Michigan on a reasonably hot summer day, enjoy the great bands at Summerfest, and visit with my family (several times a year) that are only a car ride away.
I haven't felt this good since the first time I quit XYZ and was able to get out of town and back to Wisconsin. (On a side note, the reason I'm giving such short notice is that the last time I quit, I was walked out and not paid for that time. For those that find something in the future, keep this in mind. You are nothing to XYZ, just a number. They won't extend any courtesies to you. They can fire you at any moment, so you have the right to walk out at any moment.)
"There is no point in looking back. Fuck no, not today, thank you kindly. My heart is filled with joy. I felt like a monster reincarnation of Horatio Alger: A man on the move, and just sick enough to be totally confident." -Hunter S. Thompson
Pure Gonzo Engineering
And for those worried about that bridge behind me... well, there's an internet meme for that too...
(In this day and age, I conclude this email with the disclaimer that there is NO intention to communicate violence or destruction of property. This is true for any statements, videos, meme, or gifs in this email. The intent is to speak in metaphors for the sake of humor. No actual violence or destruction of property is implied or intended.)