Don't be like me: A story of having FU money and not using it when you should. Friends, the biggest regret I have in my life so far is not quitting a toxic job when I should have, despite actually having adequate FU money to tide me over for quite awhile. I work in biglaw, with the high hours and high pressure that goes along with that. But more than that, I became the frog in boiling water over a two-year period, while my used-to-be-mentor found herself in a bad life crossroads and was essentially forced to come back to work under unfavorable terms. As a result, she set out to prove herself as large and in-charge, and show the firm that those silly associates just couldn't possibly have handled her responsibilities, as we had been doing without her for a year. In any event, the next two years of my life were buried in pure hell from her, as she was a huge bully, mean girl, moved deadlines to suit her and bury us, found countless ways to assert her power, etc. Almost every deadline from her was "ASAP," but it was not enough to meet her deadlines -- no, you had to beat them! I pointed out to her once that you cannot finish work any earlier than ASAP; by definition that is not possible. That point actually flustered her for a minute while she continued to berate me for, I kid you not, going to a committee lunch for half an hour about three months earlier (yes, this stuck in her craw for three months before she raised it!) because I "could have been billing" during that time but had the nerve to go eat; coming in on a Saturday at noon and staying till 8 p.m., though she had arrived that Saturday at 9 a.m. and stayed till 1 p.m., even though I had specifically cleared it with her ahead of time that I had a conflict in the morning and probably would not arrive until 1 p.m. (so I actually got in an hour early) -- oh, she also mocked me for arriving and asking, "how can I help?"; sending her an email with the results of my assignment at 10:01 a.m., when my deadline was 10 a.m.; and not looking upset enough by her complaints. I worked several weeks of all-nighters or only a few hours of sleep, developed stress-induced medical conditions (including one surgery, which made me rejoice for the break!), missed my grandmother's funeral to complete work for this lady (who knew her demand was causing me to miss the funeral, and she didn't even bother to thank me, and even got her henchman to tell me the very next week that "if I were being honest with myself, I'd know that I'm just not doing my best"), was strongly discouraged and told she was "disappointed" in me for going to take care of my father for a week after he was in a very bad accident, and this list could go on and on. At the worst of it, she poisoned a new co-worker against me and others, stirred that pot, intentionally saying different things to the different groups to cause fights and then giving advice that contradicted what she was telling the others so that we would complain about each other and she could presumably somehow be the one person not in the fray. This plan back-fired once our group realized the conniving shit that the boss lady was causing in an already stressful environment and the groups became friends again. She treated me and others terribly, and there were so many times I was so fed up and at the end of my rope, but I never said enough is enough. One awesome co-worker even told me that boss lady was abusing me and I shouldn't put up with it, but I was so lost, I sometimes even defended that boss lady, like she had a grain of truth good reason to be mean to me ("it's true, I did send that email at 10:01 and she asked for it by 10!". So crazy. I did go to the higher-ups and got some traction with them, although this b-lady was the golden child of the head of my group, which is why she always managed to get away with so much shit over these two years. In the end, while my talks with the higher-ups were at their peak, the dragon lady ended up quitting. I stayed through that, and I regret it every effing day. Don't be like me -- if you have FU money and the circumstances of your job suck, then use that FU money!!!