The Money Mustache Community
General Discussion => Welcome and General Discussion => Topic started by: felixbf on November 29, 2017, 04:41:28 AM
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So it is that time of the year, myself an few people do not partake in this. As such are required to sit in the office and WORK , while others party at a venue.
My thing is, do we not deserve a break too according to what we would like to do?
Does this happen to anyone else in the business world?..
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Im curious about why you dont participate?
When in Rome do as the romans?
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That is what we call a "mandatory good time". Enjoy the quiet at work if you don't go.
Years ago, my husband had to pay to go to his end of year party and it was mandatory.
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Im curious about why you dont participate?
When in Rome do as the romans?
+1
I’m curious too. I’m not a big fan of work parties, but I attend. In my world, if the party is during business hours, it’s also attend or work which seems fair — they are paying me. If it’s after hours.. well that’s more annoying because now I’m expected to go on my own time. I do usually make it happen though.
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OP, sounds like you aren't required to work at all - you have the option to go to a party or work in a quieter environment for a good chunk of a day.
That doesn't seem so bad at all for a day of work - the option to choose to work or go to a party. Hell, that sounds like a great work day!
My branch at work is pretty small, in 7 years I've never known anyone not to go that was in town but I suppose if they didn't they would absolutely still have to work. Now if you are saying the work party is after normal work hours and you still have to work, then you should be getting OT at least. In all other situations, yes, if you are forgoing a team activity during work hours - you have to work.
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So it is that time of the year, myself an few people do not partake in this. As such are required to sit in the office and WORK , while others party at a venue.
My thing is, do we not deserve a break too according to what we would like to do?
Does this happen to anyone else in the business world?..
The answer is no, because a work party (especially during regular work hours) is work, not a real party. It's not a break to do what you would like to do. You are there to make connections, increase social relationships, be visible, promote your skills and accomplishments, and learn any useful information that is officially (or unofficially) available.
Some people miss the point and treat it as a party. If you envy them that activity, you should join them rather than skip the event.
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My wife works at one of the most well known and high class museums in the world. Their Christmas party is held after work and we all usually can't wait. There are several after work and weekend parties she has to go to during the year, I don't go to those. But the Christmas party is another story!! Some of the snobby people get really drunk and wild! lol This one lady always gets really wild so even I try to stay away from her. It's coming up on the 14th and I'm already ready for it.
For those that don't choose to take in a little fun and let your hair down so-to speak, why should you get special treatment? Or look at it this way, there probably isn't a boss around so why not just get on the internet and goof off? Taadaaaa problem solved!
As I was writing this I happen to think.... you wouldn't be one of those snobby people would you?
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I too am curious why you don't participate. If they are paying you to be at the party then why would they not expect you to work if you do not go. Or just take the day as a vacation day.
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90 % of the staff are heavy drinkers and become disruptive within an hour going in... just not my way of having fun... never really occurred to me to kick back at the office and watch some films lol
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So it is that time of the year, myself an few people do not partake in this. As such are required to sit in the office and WORK , while others party at a venue.
My thing is, do we not deserve a break too according to what we would like to do?
Does this happen to anyone else in the business world?..
The answer is no, because a work party (especially during regular work hours) is work, not a real party. It's not a break to do what you would like to do. You are there to make connections, increase social relationships, be visible, promote your skills and accomplishments, and learn any useful information that is officially (or unofficially) available.
Some people miss the point and treat it as a party. If you envy them that activity, you should join them rather than skip the event.
That doesn't sound like fun..
Our work holiday parties have an open bar and bowling. It's pretty great as far as work events go.
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My previous office had a work party that began during office hours. You had the option of attending the party or continuing to work. Not working and doing something else wasn't an option. The party was always really long lines to get mediocre food, so I just worked. I liked my job, I didn't enjoy the party. Easy decision.
If we had the option of time off to do something we chose, I doubt anyone would choose work party. Free booze isn't that exciting.
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My female colleagues (we are about 8 women) are planning a ladies night out. Not in the nearest city, but one further away, not easy to travel to and from by train. The plan to have dinner, go to see a movie and spend the rest of the night at a bar. We who live far away were suggested to share a taxi home. All must be paid for privately. I think it will become an expensive night out, especially the taxi home. If I would drive, parking in the city would be expensive too. Last year I told in last moment that I couldn't come, maybe I had something else. This year, I am not sure I could get an excuse.
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My company also has a "holiday party or work" option, and I wonder if it's a similar situation for OP. The party is during work hours as an extended lunch and requires the purchase of a ticket. For my company, tickets are $10 to cover the catering, the yankee swap is an additional $10, and its at another location 30 minutes closer to the major city in the area which will make traffic getting back pretty terrible, and those miles are unreimbursed. Monetarily, it's a losing option. But the networking opportunity might make up for it since we don't see the people at the other regional locations but once or twice a year and I've never even met most of them. I'm on the fence about attending.
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If they'd allow to not go but also not work, nobody would show up.
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If they'd allow to not go but also not work, nobody would show up.
Which begs the question, why do companies continue to have these stupid parties that people only attend under duress? If you don't attend ours, you don't get your holiday bonus until after the new year.
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My company also has a "holiday party or work" option, and I wonder if it's a similar situation for OP. The party is during work hours as an extended lunch and requires the purchase of a ticket. For my company, tickets are $10 to cover the catering, the yankee swap is an additional $10, and its at another location 30 minutes closer to the major city in the area which will make traffic getting back pretty terrible, and those miles are unreimbursed. Monetarily, it's a losing option. But the networking opportunity might make up for it since we don't see the people at the other regional locations but once or twice a year and I've never even met most of them. I'm on the fence about attending.
Go. Network. Don't drink. Dress well. Bring a great gift, hopefully one you found ar a thrift for far less than $10, but doesn't look it. Don't stay too late, or you'll end up being the only sober person around. This is a game. Play it to win.
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If they'd allow to not go but also not work, nobody would show up.
Which begs the question, why do companies continue to have these stupid parties that people only attend under duress? If you don't attend ours, you don't get your holiday bonus until after the new year.
My office last year decided to give us 2 hours off for "holiday stress relief" and then did a catered lunch in February. It was a way better option than holiday party. And I like my coworkers.
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Worked in the public sector. No party. Did a potluck in the corridor.
Sad little events really.
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I just skipped mine and worked since I'm a contractor and they don't pay contractors to go. Sucks because I'd have enjoyed the networking but I'm not skipping out on $400 of pay to go to that.
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Make a doctor's appointment so you'll be out sick during the party. No party and no work.
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Make a doctor's appointment so you'll be out sick during the party. No party and no work.
Thats alot of work to dodge a party! I can see work parties being kind of unfair for someone who isnt extroverted to a large degree.
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The parties where I work are really for the attorneys. We non-attorneys are really just spectators and are, for the most part, ignored. This will be my very last one, hooray!
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I can't believe some workplaces have holiday parties that YOU have to pay for. That is ridiculous.
All of my work parties have been free to attend. I do like to socialize, so I found it as a good way to get paid to not work by going to the party.
If your party is free, why not just go, eat, and then leave early? No one will notice.
At a past employer, I did decide to not go to a "happy hour" because it was the type of place where you had to log your hours into a timesheet (government related). So instead of the company creating a time category to log your hours into for this type of work activity (call it overhead), they said we'd have to make up the hours during the week. Some people still went. I didn't go in protest because I had no interest in mingling with that management and found it ridiculous that they couldn't let an hour or two be allocated to an overhead category in the timesheets. I just stayed at work that afternoon.
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My company also has a "holiday party or work" option, and I wonder if it's a similar situation for OP. The party is during work hours as an extended lunch and requires the purchase of a ticket. For my company, tickets are $10 to cover the catering, the yankee swap is an additional $10, and its at another location 30 minutes closer to the major city in the area which will make traffic getting back pretty terrible, and those miles are unreimbursed. Monetarily, it's a losing option. But the networking opportunity might make up for it since we don't see the people at the other regional locations but once or twice a year and I've never even met most of them. I'm on the fence about attending.
Go. Network. Don't drink. Dress well. Bring a great gift, hopefully one you found ar a thrift for far less than $10, but doesn't look it. Don't stay too late, or you'll end up being the only sober person around. This is a game. Play it to win.
Won't have to worry about drinking. There's no alcohol available since it's in a conference room in the office. And I can't stay late, got to go back to work for the rest of the afternoon when it's over. From what I understand attendance last year was fairly poor, we'll see if that changes for this year.
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My company also has a "holiday party or work" option, and I wonder if it's a similar situation for OP. The party is during work hours as an extended lunch and requires the purchase of a ticket. For my company, tickets are $10 to cover the catering, the yankee swap is an additional $10, and its at another location 30 minutes closer to the major city in the area which will make traffic getting back pretty terrible, and those miles are unreimbursed. Monetarily, it's a losing option. But the networking opportunity might make up for it since we don't see the people at the other regional locations but once or twice a year and I've never even met most of them. I'm on the fence about attending.
Go. Network. Don't drink. Dress well. Bring a great gift, hopefully one you found ar a thrift for far less than $10, but doesn't look it. Don't stay too late, or you'll end up being the only sober person around. This is a game. Play it to win.
Won't have to worry about drinking. There's no alcohol available since it's in a conference room in the office. And I can't stay late, got to go back to work for the rest of the afternoon when it's over. From what I understand attendance last year was fairly poor, we'll see if that changes for this year.
I imagine a festive version of this
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/63/f7/ec/63f7eccbf5373730dc57ec4c2652e6ad.jpg)
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I imagine a festive version of this
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/63/f7/ec/63f7eccbf5373730dc57ec4c2652e6ad.jpg)
As one of the people that didn't go last year, this is about what I'm expecting.
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My work party this year is free food (although low quality fare), free drinks, and a free date night for my GF. It's a win for me, although I don't want to go because I prefer to stay home and not be on my best behavior.
But this year they are having it way up in the boonies - a lot of people are getting rooms at the hotel it's being held at.
I'll just drive my van and we sleep in it afterwards - no drunk driving and no hotel and no ubers :)
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Ok, question. My work party is Dec. 7th. My last day is Dec. 8th. It's free. Walking distance. Normally, I go and stay for about an hour because I hate parties.
Do I go?
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Luckily our party is scheduled this year on one of my day's off. I missed it last year, too, due to a dental appointment (I was getting a new crown put in). The fact that I would rather go to the dentist that this party should say something about how much I "enjoy" it.
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Ok, question. My work party is Dec. 7th. My last day is Dec. 8th. It's free. Walking distance. Normally, I go and stay for about an hour because I hate parties.
Do I go?
If you hate parties, then no absolutely don't go! But you should go and say goodbye to everyone and have some hugs!
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Make a doctor's appointment so you'll be out sick during the party. No party and no work.
Thats alot of work to dodge a party! I can see work parties being kind of unfair for someone who isnt extroverted to a large degree.
Not really. I have to get this done so I specifically asked for an appointment on the day of the party.
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My company also has a "holiday party or work" option, and I wonder if it's a similar situation for OP. The party is during work hours as an extended lunch and requires the purchase of a ticket. For my company, tickets are $10 to cover the catering, the yankee swap is an additional $10, and its at another location 30 minutes closer to the major city in the area which will make traffic getting back pretty terrible, and those miles are unreimbursed. Monetarily, it's a losing option. But the networking opportunity might make up for it since we don't see the people at the other regional locations but once or twice a year and I've never even met most of them. I'm on the fence about attending.
Go. Network. Don't drink. Dress well. Bring a great gift, hopefully one you found ar a thrift for far less than $10, but doesn't look it. Don't stay too late, or you'll end up being the only sober person around. This is a game. Play it to win.
Good advice. When I worked for a company that had these kinds of parties I would show up for about an hour and then leave. The idea being to spend only the amount of time necessary to make a legitimate appearance and then get out!
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If they'd allow to not go but also not work, nobody would show up.
I imagine that depends on the party. Ours is after ordinary work hours and lots of people show up.
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Ok, question. My work party is Dec. 7th. My last day is Dec. 8th. It's free. Walking distance. Normally, I go and stay for about an hour because I hate parties.
Do I go?
Sibley, I vote Yes. The hardest thing just might be trying not to gloat too much. Just keep saying you'll miss everyone, even if its not true.
- Attending makes it clear that you left of your own accord, so management can't try to spin it any other way.
- You will probably see/say goodbye to people that you might not have otherwise.
- People will tell you wonderful things about yourself, which won't suck.
- You can have fun pretending it's really a giant, well-deserved going away party for you.
- I suspect the whole experience could prove to be quite empowering for you.
- It's great to go out with a bang.
It's totally up to you, but I just don't see much downside, especially if you can keep your distance from your immediate manager. Which makes me think of one more point:
- It might be just a little bit thrilling for your old boss to see/hear how much you're going to be missed.
What are the odds that the calendar would align so perfectly with your leave date? Make good use of it.
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My company also has a "holiday party or work" option, and I wonder if it's a similar situation for OP. The party is during work hours as an extended lunch and requires the purchase of a ticket. For my company, tickets are $10 to cover the catering, the yankee swap is an additional $10, and its at another location 30 minutes closer to the major city in the area which will make traffic getting back pretty terrible, and those miles are unreimbursed. Monetarily, it's a losing option. But the networking opportunity might make up for it since we don't see the people at the other regional locations but once or twice a year and I've never even met most of them. I'm on the fence about attending.
Go. Network. Don't drink. Dress well. Bring a great gift, hopefully one you found ar a thrift for far less than $10, but doesn't look it. Don't stay too late, or you'll end up being the only sober person around. This is a game. Play it to win.
Won't have to worry about drinking. There's no alcohol available since it's in a conference room in the office. And I can't stay late, got to go back to work for the rest of the afternoon when it's over. From what I understand attendance last year was fairly poor, we'll see if that changes for this year.
Bring some tupperware and clean out enough of the extra catering to cover the $20 you might be spending. Offer to "help clean up"
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So it is that time of the year, myself an few people do not partake in this. As such are required to sit in the office and WORK , while others party at a venue.
My thing is, do we not deserve a break too according to what we would like to do?
Does this happen to anyone else in the business world?..
The answer is no, because a work party (especially during regular work hours) is work, not a real party. It's not a break to do what you would like to do. You are there to make connections, increase social relationships, be visible, promote your skills and accomplishments, and learn any useful information that is officially (or unofficially) available.
Some people miss the point and treat it as a party. If you envy them that activity, you should join them rather than skip the event.
Exactly. It's not a party party. I go to these things with a smile, not because I want to, but because it’s politically useful. It helps grease the wheels in terms of connecting to your colleagues, and having well-greased wheels pays unquantifiable but real dividends. It’s just…one of those “overhead” career expenses (paid in time or money) for which you’re not directly compensated, like buying a work wardrobe, or getting up early so you can go to work.
I admit I’ve never worked somewhere where the choice was either “do work” or “go to the holiday party” - they’ve always either had everyone come during work hours, or if that’s not possible, held it after hours; any other approach seems unwise as it's likely to stir up resentment. And I’ve never had to pay to attend (that would be salt in the wound of my introverted I-don’t-wanna-go-but-I will-play-the-game-for-my-career’s-sake feelings…)
I’m going to be spending five hours of my free time at our holiday party tonight. Yay?
(I'll be a good sport and manage to enjoy some of it, to some extent, but given my druthers, I'd absolutely be at home with a good book. But for a few years more, I need to play the game. I'm not particularly resentful about it; this is just one of the work-related realities of my life that I won't be sorry to give up when I FIRE.)
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We have a long lunch Christmas party. I'll make an appearance and then disappear back to my work area. Will make the effort, bring a gift, smile alot and nibble the food.
Don't dislike my coworkers...
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My company also has a "holiday party or work" option, and I wonder if it's a similar situation for OP. The party is during work hours as an extended lunch and requires the purchase of a ticket. For my company, tickets are $10 to cover the catering, the yankee swap is an additional $10, and its at another location 30 minutes closer to the major city in the area which will make traffic getting back pretty terrible, and those miles are unreimbursed. Monetarily, it's a losing option. But the networking opportunity might make up for it since we don't see the people at the other regional locations but once or twice a year and I've never even met most of them. I'm on the fence about attending.
Go. Network. Don't drink. Dress well. Bring a great gift, hopefully one you found ar a thrift for far less than $10, but doesn't look it. Don't stay too late, or you'll end up being the only sober person around. This is a game. Play it to win.
Won't have to worry about drinking. There's no alcohol available since it's in a conference room in the office. And I can't stay late, got to go back to work for the rest of the afternoon when it's over. From what I understand attendance last year was fairly poor, we'll see if that changes for this year.
Bring some tupperware and clean out enough of the extra catering to cover the $20 you might be spending. Offer to "help clean up"
I had a coworker go home with several hundreds of dollars of charcuterie once. Our 100 member division traveled to a regional office, where she was the only local staff in our division. After a party, she cleared the meat and cheese board and used it to host a party at her house later.
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I understand being anti-social and not wanting to go, but this really has me confused.
Doesn't everybody always have to do something, sometime at work that they don't want to do?
That could be meetings, presentations, travel, TPS reports, etc.
You are being PAID to do something. Don't like it? Oh well. That's why you get paid!
Being offered time off as an alternative would be akin to be given extra VACATION. This is WORK. Just do it...
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My current job has lunch during the work day.
My h's last job we had to go to an excruciating dinner with his awful boss, and although it was a "nice" restaurant with lots of wine, as vegetarians we couldn't enjoy the food much and we didn't drink much since it is a work thing.
The worst part was 60$ on a babysitter to enjoy our "free" dinner.
So glad we don't have any mandatory night time work parties this year.
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I think it was Miss Manners who once described minimizing the time spent at a party, without being rude, by going directly to the back of the party, enthusiastically greeting everyone while making your way back to the front/exit, and then quietly leaving. Unless you're stuck at a sit-down dinner with the boss or something, a work party seems like a good time to practice this!
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I understand being anti-social and not wanting to go, but this really has me confused.
Doesn't everybody always have to do something, sometime at work that they don't want to do?
That could be meetings, presentations, travel, TPS reports, etc.
You are being PAID to do something. Don't like it? Oh well. That's why you get paid!
Being offered time off as an alternative would be akin to be given extra VACATION. This is WORK. Just do it...
The difference is that the other stuff could actually be considered productive.
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You are being PAID to do something. Don't like it? Oh well. That's why you get paid!
Well, I'm salaried, so I don't get extra pay for parties that happen outside my work hours, which they often do. Yes, anything that comes up is supposed to be covered by my compensation, but if I've already put in 40 hours (plus the regular overtime)- a "party" is just MORE hours.
It depends on the company whether they are after hours or not. I've had to deal with both. Or they are during work hours, but not MY work hours (aka- I get off at 3:30, but the party is 3-5).
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The choice (per the OP) is go to party or do other work (during work!). It is not a choice of go to party or get vacation.
As others mentioned, if it were the latter, most would not go to the social function....they'd take vacation.
Productivity is irrelevant. Are meetings necessarily MORE productive? Are all work tasks always truly productive?
The complaint just strikes me oddly. The work intention is very likely to build a sense of team or community by offering an event during work hours for employees.
One gets paid to socialize now...or one gets paid to do whatever other work you choose. Why are people complaining about being given a choice?! You can still work on something else otherwise!
The complaint really seems to be...'Why don't I get extra vacation'?! ...because no employee is getting it!
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The choice (per the OP) is go to party or do other work (during work!). It is not a choice of go to party or get vacation.
Yes, you're right. Sorry- I reacted to the post only about being paid to do something when many people have shared stories about work parties in other situations (including needing to pay babysitters).
It seems like if you are being paid to go to the party, or remain working- then either choice is equally valid. If you don't want to go to the party; don't.
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I am still thinking what to plan. No, it doesn't happen to me. I may get very drunk this year.
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Productivity is irrelevant. Are meetings necessarily MORE productive? Are all work tasks always truly productive?
No. But going to a party just seems totally different than going to even the least productive of meetings.
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My work has some pretty swanky events. Cruises, museums, etc. Christmas is for employees and the summer is for dates. I actually really like them. It kind of curbs my going out to eat/drink cravings. Usually someone has a card down at a bar before and after too.
I also work for a hire to retire company so the parties are much more enjoyable than other employers I have worked for. You have a lot of co workers have been together for 20+ years. But I have worked for companies that have had lame ass parties. But if it's free it's for me
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Well, I'm salaried, so I don't get extra pay for parties that happen outside my work hours, which they often do. Yes, anything that comes up is supposed to be covered by my compensation, but if I've already put in 40 hours (plus the regular overtime)- a "party" is just MORE hours.
It depends on the company whether they are after hours or not. I've had to deal with both. Or they are during work hours, but not MY work hours (aka- I get off at 3:30, but the party is 3-5).
So this 1.5 extra hours once a year makes that much of a difference?
Maybe think of it as merely one more log to fuel the FIRE fire?
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Productivity is irrelevant. Are meetings necessarily MORE productive? Are all work tasks always truly productive?
No. But going to a party just seems totally different than going to even the least productive of meetings.
But it's not a real party, it's a work party = relationship building = similar to a meeting. Most meetings are about people and relationships, not getting things done - a strange cultural norm we have inherited.
For what it's worth, we have to pay for ours, but as I'm contract, what I'd get paid for that time >> cost of meal, so I happily go spend the money and hang with coworkers, and be seen as a team player.
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I am still thinking what to plan. No, it doesn't happen to me. I may get very drunk this year.
Get very drunk is rarely the right solution for a work party.
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Productivity is irrelevant. Are meetings necessarily MORE productive? Are all work tasks always truly productive?
No. But going to a party just seems totally different than going to even the least productive of meetings.
But it's not a real party, it's a work party = relationship building = similar to a meeting. Most meetings are about people and relationships, not getting things done - a strange cultural norm we have inherited.
For what it's worth, we have to pay for ours, but as I'm contract, what I'd get paid for that time >> cost of meal, so I happily go spend the money and hang with coworkers, and be seen as a team player.
My thoughts exactly. Even in academia, where you would think meetings would be more focused, I've found that meetings of any sort are about 20% actual working and 80% relationship building/socializing. Work parties aren't any different. If you're paid to go, then go.
Just had our departmental Christmas party last night. It was after hours, but most everyone still made an effort to attend. It shows that you care about your co-workers and the department/organization/company/etc. I stuck around until about 10pm when the remaining people were too drunk to remember whether I was there anymore or not. As a bonus, took enough leftover meat home to last me about 4 days.
A few hours of your time to have an enjoyable lunch/dinner with co-workers and grease the wheels with the higher-ups. Not sure why anyone would question going to Christmas parties.
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Productivity is irrelevant. Are meetings necessarily MORE productive? Are all work tasks always truly productive?
No. But going to a party just seems totally different than going to even the least productive of meetings.
But it's not a real party, it's a work party = relationship building = similar to a meeting. Most meetings are about people and relationships, not getting things done - a strange cultural norm we have inherited.
For what it's worth, we have to pay for ours, but as I'm contract, what I'd get paid for that time >> cost of meal, so I happily go spend the money and hang with coworkers, and be seen as a team player.
My thoughts exactly. Even in academia, where you would think meetings would be more focused, I've found that meetings of any sort are about 20% actual working and 80% relationship building/socializing. Work parties aren't any different. If you're paid to go, then go.
Just had our departmental Christmas party last night. It was after hours, but most everyone still made an effort to attend. It shows that you care about your co-workers and the department/organization/company/etc. I stuck around until about 10pm when the remaining people were too drunk to remember whether I was there anymore or not. As a bonus, took enough leftover meat home to last me about 4 days.
A few hours of your time to have an enjoyable lunch/dinner with co-workers and grease the wheels with the higher-ups. Not sure why anyone would question going to Christmas parties.
Because I'm introverted and hate parties in general. I really hate them when it doesn't seem like I have a choice about going or not.
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Because I'm introverted and hate parties in general. I really hate them when it doesn't seem like I have a choice about going or not.
As an introvert myself, I understand the feeling of discomfort that can precede going to parties with a bunch of people that you may not know too well. But it's just one afternoon/evening. How scary can it really be to hang out with co-workers whom you've probably seen before for just a few hours over food and drinks? And in this case, they're getting paid for it (because it's part of normal work hours).
Now if they were telling them "We're having this Christmas party on Saturday evening. If you don't show up, then we're deducting the hours from your Monday-Friday salary" that would be wrong, but that's not the case.
Since it's taking place during work hours, think of it as just another optional departmental meeting, albeit a fun meeting with free food and holiday cheer. If you look at it this way, then the OP is basically asking "Why can't I leave work early instead of going to this optional meeting?" Would you ask this question to your boss/superior under any other circumstances?
It appears from the OP's post that their workplace is not telling them that they must attend the Christmas party. Rather, he's asking why he can't leave early instead of staying at work while the others go to the Christmas party.
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Because I'm introverted and hate parties in general. I really hate them when it doesn't seem like I have a choice about going or not.
As an introvert myself, I understand the feeling of discomfort that can precede going to parties with a bunch of people that you may not know too well. But it's just one afternoon/evening. How scary can it really be to hang out with co-workers whom you've probably seen before for just a few hours over food and drinks? And in this case, they're getting paid for it (because it's part of normal work hours).
Now if they were telling them "We're having this Christmas party on Saturday evening. If you don't show up, then we're deducting the hours from your Monday-Friday salary" that would be wrong, but that's not the case.
Since it's taking place during work hours, think of it as just another optional departmental meeting, albeit a fun meeting with free food and holiday cheer. If you look at it this way, then the OP is basically asking "Why can't I leave work early instead of going to this optional meeting?" Would you ask this question to your boss/superior under any other circumstances?
It appears from the OP's post that their workplace is not telling them that they must attend the Christmas party. Rather, he's asking why he can't leave early instead of staying at work while the others go to the Christmas party.
No. What I'd do is make up an excuse (like "I'm too busy to go to the meeting" or "I have a conflict") and then skip out of work early while all the other suckers are in the meeting.
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No. What I'd do is make up an excuse (like "I'm too busy to go to the meeting" or "I have a conflict") and then skip out of work early while all the other suckers are in the meeting.
If that is your general MO, you may as well treat the 'party' similarly and sneak out. Your risk of 'getting caught' probably remains the same.
Still...you could just show...make sure folks see you...excuse yourself to the restroom...and head out the door.
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If that is your general MO, you may as well treat the 'party' similarly and sneak out. Your risk of 'getting caught' probably remains the same.
Still...you could just show...make sure folks see you...excuse yourself to the restroom...and head out the door.
This is what I often do. Go to the party for some time and sneak out early if possible.
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Ok, question. My work party is Dec. 7th. My last day is Dec. 8th. It's free. Walking distance. Normally, I go and stay for about an hour because I hate parties.
Do I go?
Sibley, I vote Yes. The hardest thing just might be trying not to gloat too much. Just keep saying you'll miss everyone, even if its not true.
- Attending makes it clear that you left of your own accord, so management can't try to spin it any other way.
- You will probably see/say goodbye to people that you might not have otherwise.
- People will tell you wonderful things about yourself, which won't suck.
- You can have fun pretending it's really a giant, well-deserved going away party for you.
- I suspect the whole experience could prove to be quite empowering for you.
- It's great to go out with a bang.
It's totally up to you, but I just don't see much downside, especially if you can keep your distance from your immediate manager. Which makes me think of one more point:
- It might be just a little bit thrilling for your old boss to see/hear how much you're going to be missed.
What are the odds that the calendar would align so perfectly with your leave date? Make good use of it.
I'm actually in a weird situation. I'm leaving b/c one manager has messed with my head, pretty badly. I'm highly competent, respected, etc and I know it. The way my direct mgr communicates with me I get the opposite message. I tried to address this, and it wasn't successful, it only got worse. So now I have no choice to leave for my mental health (which is NOT me at all, part of why I need to leave). No one wants me to leave. I've had every other team try to recruit me, etc. Everyone in mgmt is like "if you ever want to come back, just say the word".
So, I really will miss people. I really don't want to leave, but I don't see how I can fix ME without staying. It's actually causing a lot of stress right now and I had a breakdown last week. Holding it together this week so far though.
I am going to the party. I'll smile, and say thanks and I'll miss everyone. And cry on the train ride home.
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Oh, Sibley, fingers crossed that there will be no tears. Not the bad kind, anyway. ♡♡♡♡♡
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OMG! I would almost go back to work to go to these parties!
I'm serious, these were always some of the most fun, craziest, best events of the year. I still talk about the great times we had with the people I keep in touch with.
So many introverts here, I'm one of the odd ones at 99.999% extrovert.
Go and try and have fun. Make fun of the ones that get out of hand. Chat it up with people outside of your department, play a few games, have some laughs! OWN that party!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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I'm actually in a weird situation. I'm leaving b/c one manager has messed with my head, pretty badly. I'm highly competent, respected, etc and I know it. The way my direct mgr communicates with me I get the opposite message. I tried to address this, and it wasn't successful, it only got worse. So now I have no choice to leave for my mental health (which is NOT me at all, part of why I need to leave). No one wants me to leave. I've had every other team try to recruit me, etc. Everyone in mgmt is like "if you ever want to come back, just say the word".
So, I really will miss people. I really don't want to leave, but I don't see how I can fix ME without staying. It's actually causing a lot of stress right now and I had a breakdown last week. Holding it together this week so far though.
I am going to the party. I'll smile, and say thanks and I'll miss everyone. And cry on the train ride home.
Oh dear. Big hug from me. If your job is so bad for your mental health, then leaving is a very good idea. Or your manager should leave. That is probably more difficult to realize.
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I'm a freelancer in a very social, who-you-know field. I am also a HUGE introvert. But just as I have to allocate some of my social spoons towards my workday, I allocate some towards networking. Going to the pub with my coworkers on a project is not my idea of a brilliant evening, no matter how much I like them individually, but I decide in advance that I'm going to go on X day for one to two hours, show up, chat to people and then go home. That, for me, even though it is so casual and non-compulsory, is part of my work. I started because I noticed that people do talk about the people who never ever show up, and I didn't want to be one of them. So now I go enough that people feel like I'm part of the group and keen to spend time with them, but it's planned in advance so I can not spend too long there and relax by myself the next day. I also make an effort from time to time to catch up with coworkers individually. A noisy pub late at night with ten other people is dreadful, but a quiet coffee with one other person is nice. So when I refuse the umpteenth invitation to go out at night, people will just say "Oh, she's not antisocial, pubs just aren't really her thing." Work socialising is never just fun, it's always a bit of work, so you should treat it and prioritise your commitments that way.
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I'm actually in a weird situation. I'm leaving b/c one manager has messed with my head, pretty badly. I'm highly competent, respected, etc and I know it. The way my direct mgr communicates with me I get the opposite message. I tried to address this, and it wasn't successful, it only got worse. So now I have no choice to leave for my mental health (which is NOT me at all, part of why I need to leave). No one wants me to leave. I've had every other team try to recruit me, etc. Everyone in mgmt is like "if you ever want to come back, just say the word".
So, I really will miss people. I really don't want to leave, but I don't see how I can fix ME without staying. It's actually causing a lot of stress right now and I had a breakdown last week. Holding it together this week so far though.
I am going to the party. I'll smile, and say thanks and I'll miss everyone. And cry on the train ride home.
Oh dear. Big hug from me. If your job is so bad for your mental health, then leaving is a very good idea. Or your manager should leave. That is probably more difficult to realize.
Yeah, there's a reason I'm leaving. The party went well. I went for about an hour, talked to people, then left early. Today's my last day.
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I love my work parties. At this time of year we go out for a festive evening meal, all staff invited with the organisation picking up the tab, and also have an in-house lunch at which we provide food and drink and small gifts. We have a great team and I enjoy socialising with them.
The way the work rota falls, I may be genuinely unable to attend the lunch party due to being busy with work this year. I'm kicking myself because it's likely to be my last Christmas at work and I only have myself to blame for the situation.
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Be thankful, mine cost me a couple hundred bucks. Clearly not mustachian, but I had little choice. At least I enjoyed it...
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My wife works at one of the most well known and high class museums in the world. Their Christmas party is held after work and we all usually can't wait. There are several after work and weekend parties she has to go to during the year, I don't go to those. But the Christmas party is another story!! Some of the snobby people get really drunk and wild! lol This one lady always gets really wild so even I try to stay away from her. It's coming up on the 14th and I'm already ready for it.
For those that don't choose to take in a little fun and let your hair down so-to speak, why should you get special treatment? Or look at it this way, there probably isn't a boss around so why not just get on the internet and goof off? Taadaaaa problem solved!
As I was writing this I happen to think.... you wouldn't be one of those snobby people would you?
As I was reading this, I was honestly thinking "boy, I'd love to be that person that everyone remembers at a party!" but then I think about the times when I have overindulged and I'm mortified the next morning. I guess I'm really thinking that I would love to not give a crap what anyone else thinks of me. Not there yet. But if I ever become that wild lady, I hope someone will realize that how great it is to have the feeling that she doesn't care!
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We are not paid for our work parties and the location is at the main office two hours away.
Not sure why anyone shows up...but it's perfectly fine to do so.
Imho, work is a contract between to people, a company/business or an entity
I didn't sign a contract to volunteer but to get paid for my time
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OMG! I would almost go back to work to go to these parties!
I'm serious, these were always some of the most fun, craziest, best events of the year. I still talk about the great times we had with the people I keep in touch with.
So many introverts here, I'm one of the odd ones at 99.999% extrovert.
Go and try and have fun. Make fun of the ones that get out of hand. Chat it up with people outside of your department, play a few games, have some laughs! OWN that party!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
GREAT Outlook :)