Do you tell people?

[Tyler]

My problem is more along Arebelspy's point. 

I never share absolute numbers with anyone, even family.  But once you graduate to any type of conversation like "I don't need a job anymore" that is a fairly provocative statement for those who are struggling financially.  And "I don't need a job, but I still can't afford to give you money" doesn't add up for most people. 

I'll never leave my family out to dry, but money has been a flashpoint in the past and I fear how knowledge of it will affect relationship dynamics.  FWIW, I still think I have it easy compared to others - I've known people whose cultures pretty much expect anyone of means to support the entire family financially. 

[Apocalyptica602]

I just omit certain facts and bend the truth a little.

I'll say 'Oh I barely have enough cash to cover my expenses this month.'

This isn't a lie. I just omit the fact that I'm investing $2000/month into retirement accounts, with any spillover going toward debt repayment / taxable investments.

I've started this trend because I'm getting my over 40 year old uncle asking his 24 year old nephew (me) for cash every other month or so to cover his rent so he can fund his shopping addiction.

[mikefixac]

Seems like someone spends his days, googling himself...

 

Poor Joshua can't win for losing.

Joshua, I http://www.joshuakennon.com/ read your blog and I'm a big fan.

(Could someone show me how to use the hyperlink button? I can't figure it out.)

[AnonymousCoward]

(Could someone show me how to use the hyperlink button? I can't figure it out.)

This code:

Code: [Select]

[url=http://url.com]click this text![/url]turns into this link:
click this text!

[sheepstache]

I freely talk about finance and my finances explicitly (seriously, try to stop me).  But I don't talk about FI because a) I'm not dead set on it as a goal.  I want the flexibility that this path offers, but if in the future opportunities come along that are more appealing and that are mutually exclusive, I would choose them over FI.  I mean, when I put it like that, duh.  My point is FI isn't the absolute most best thing I can imagine.  And b) it feels a bit like those people who go around telling everyone they're on a diet all the time but never seem to lose any weight.   There's some psychological term for it; telling people about your goal gives you the same rush as though you'd actually achieved it and therefore takes away your motivation to do it.  There's some contrary evidence too, that sharing your goals with a like-minded set of people (like this forum?) can help boost motivation.  I think it's just a difference of approach.  But the 'do not talk about fight club' angle suits me a little better.

[Hotstreak]

I just started working towards ER a few months ago and it's meant a pretty major change in my spending, and a pretty major change for me personally too.  I've told my close friends and family that I'm working to pay off my student loan this year, so they will understand when I don't want to go on expensive trips or back out of certain activities.  I haven't really talked about saving for retirement as the reason I'm doing this.. people seem to understand paying off student loans as being a pretty normal goal, especially when they're 6.7% right now.

That'll be done this year.  Next year I want to max my IRA(@ 20% of my take home), so that's another common sense reason for not spending much.  When I get in to a higher paying position at work it's going to be about saving for a house, then paying off a house, then maybe saving for kids education, or working to buy another property or invest in something tangible.  I think all of those are things that people can relate to, or have lived through.  For the typical consumer, doing any of those would mean every spare cent is going there, but with my low funds required to live, I believe I'll be able to save substantial amounts in investment accounts for the same time.  If I time it right, I'll be FI just about the time I run out of excuses not to spend :).  I'm comfortable giving people a story that makes them feel they understand what I'm doing, but what I'm ACTUALLY doing is really none of anybody's business except mine.  And strangers on the internet.

[prosaic]

"We have a lot of debt" or "Our son's medical bills are incredibly high" are two very true statements we are using to help essentially cover what is going on in our lives financially.

Both are true: $250K mortgage and 4 figures/month for medical bills. Yet we still have a 6-figure net worth and a small business that suddenly took off (5 figure profit last month). We won't tell people what's really going on, for a few reasons, such as jealousy and requests for help from people we've watched blow through money like crazy.

[arebelspy]

I just omit certain facts and bend the truth a little.

I'll say 'Oh I barely have enough cash to cover my expenses this month.'

"We have a lot of debt" or "Our son's medical bills are incredibly high" are two very true statements we are using to help essentially cover what is going on in our lives financially.

I don't care for statements like these personally, even if they can be viewed as true in a certain light, simply because they can be viewed as a lie in another light, and that light will turn on.  What happens when you FIRE?

All those people you've been telling that for years feel quite deceived, and won't be happy with an explanation of "if you look at it this way I was being honest..."

I'd rather say nothing, if I wasn't comfortable being open about it.

YMMV, to each his own.

[Zaga]

This topic has come up spontaneously around me several times recently:

1.  At the mechanic's getting my car fixed - I was talking to him about replacing my car in about a year and asking about car makes.  He said if I bought X car it would likely last me 10 years until retirement.  Now I'm 33 years old and can easily pass for 25.  When I said I'd only be 43 in 10 years he seemed to think that was about right.  This is my mechanic!  He knows nothing about me, we interact maybe twice a year, so having his say my next car could take me to retirement was pretty surprising and nice.

2.  A new friend and I went out for lunch, and talking it turns out we both think we'll be able to retire by 50.  So now I have a new FI buddy!  Hopefully we're both being pessimistic :-)

3.  An old friend I work with shares a lot of finances, we are both improving our finances together though we're at different stages.  She doesn't think it's at all weird or impossible that either of us can retire early.

These are just some examples, gives me hope for the future.

[prosaic]

I just omit certain facts and bend the truth a little.

I'll say 'Oh I barely have enough cash to cover my expenses this month.'

"We have a lot of debt" or "Our son's medical bills are incredibly high" are two very true statements we are using to help essentially cover what is going on in our lives financially.

I don't care for statements like these personally, even if they can be viewed as true in a certain light, simply because they can be viewed as a lie in another light, and that light will turn on.  What happens when you FIRE?

All those people you've been telling that for years feel quite deceived, and won't be happy with an explanation of "if you look at it this way I was being honest..."

I'd rather say nothing, if I wasn't comfortable being open about it.

YMMV, to each his own.

In our case they are true, though. $250K is a huge debt. Our son does (and will, likely, for the next 10+ years) have a four-figure/month medical debt.

What people read into that is something I can't control.

[arebelspy]

I just omit certain facts and bend the truth a little.

I'll say 'Oh I barely have enough cash to cover my expenses this month.'

"We have a lot of debt" or "Our son's medical bills are incredibly high" are two very true statements we are using to help essentially cover what is going on in our lives financially.

I don't care for statements like these personally, even if they can be viewed as true in a certain light, simply because they can be viewed as a lie in another light, and that light will turn on.  What happens when you FIRE?

All those people you've been telling that for years feel quite deceived, and won't be happy with an explanation of "if you look at it this way I was being honest..."

I'd rather say nothing, if I wasn't comfortable being open about it.

YMMV, to each his own.

In our case they are true, though. $250K is a huge debt. Our son does (and will, likely, for the next 10+ years) have a four-figure/month medical debt.

What people read into that is something I can't control.

You seem to have missed my point.

That is well and good, but what happens when you say that for 10 years, it all being true, then you FIRE ten years from now?  People will feel deceived, regardless of how "true" those weasel statements were.

If it works for you though, great.

[the fixer]

I just told two people about MMM on Friday! I typically toss in little tidbits of finance and investing into normal conversation to see who picks up on it. Then I'll continue to vet those people and introduce them at a time when it's appropriate (like if the methodology of MMM might help them with reaching a life goal they currently think is impossible)

[Mo Money]

Well, time to stop lurking, register, and lose my posting virginity, so here goes:  I tell only family and close friends who don't have any likely connection to the office.  At the office, it would likely only become a reason to refuse me a raise or otherwise snipe at me.  And even regarding telling family and close friends, I honestly wonder at the wisdom of doing so.  Am I really just bragging?  But that fear is counterbalanced with the desire to try to encourage others to save and reduce their hyper-consumer lifestyle.  In some ways, I really just want to "pay it forward":  The frugality advice I've gotten is a real gift.  (I'm FI now, but am just feathering the nest at this point.)  I'd like to find a way to steer others down the FIRE path without seeming like a pompous ass....

[FitStash]

Ha!

Don't leave us hanging...did he...did he get your location right?

Here it is.

I wish I could like or +1 posts on this forum.

BTW, that satellite got me too...

He put me in Ottawa.  He got the country correct at least. 

He'd have had gotten much closer, if he just looked at the mustache map thread.
:D

Oh NOES, my real reason for setting up the Mustache Map has been revealed!

[Self-employed-swami]

Ha!