Do you homeschool?

[freeazabird]

My husband and I casually mentioned homeschooling to a few friends, and received an unexpected harsh reaction. I was wondering for those of you out there who homeschool how do you like it? Do your kids enjoy it? Do you feel there is a lot of stigma associated with it? If so, how do you handle it?

[mxt0133]

My wife and I are on the same boat.  When we bring it up to friends and family that do not home school it's like we told them that school are for people that don't care about their kids.  At first they ask questions on why and then they try to change our minds by making statements that are not based on facts at all.  I think they see it at an attack on own their decisions to send their kids to school.  After a couple of those conversations I knew we were not going to learn anything useful, so we joined some homeschooling groups and the people that we have become friends with have been very open to the downside of homeschooling.  They are the first ones to say that it's not for everyone and takes a lot of conviction to not be discouraged by criticism from friends and family.

I have done a lot of research online and read books on homeschooling, un-schooling, ect.  So on the theoretical front I think it's right for our family, but I still had some reservations so I decided to see how other parents actually do it and wanted to see how the kids turn out.  Which is why we got involved with the homeschooling community early.  I would recommend the same if you are seriously considering it.

[UnleashHell]

We did homeschool for a few years when the kids were younger. Loved it - and so did they. Having the internet made it easy to connect to a few others that were doing the same and groups of us would be going off all over the place.
When the kids got older we reverted back to schooling - mainly because my son wanted a more structured environment (we got him into an excellent charter school) and my daughter just had the type of personality that fitted in great at a normal school.
I'd highly recommend it to those parents who are prepared to do the research into all the different types of homeschooling and adaptable enough to do the type that works for their child. From school at home to unschooling there a whole range of methods.

good luck -oh and half the battle is accepting that what you are doing is right!..

[Neustache]

I don't homeschool, but I'm really open to it.  DH is not, thinks that if he suffered through school the kids should have to, too.  He would have been a great candidate for unschooling - life-long learner who contantly picks up new hobbies (music, hunting, beer making, etc.)  I loved school, though.  Even loved middle school, and especially loved high school. 

We currently have a 6 year old in public school, and if I am being honest, I am really struggling with school right now.  There's homework in 1st grade, and if they don't turn it in on Friday they lose their recess to complete it.  I managed to do very well in school and test very high, all without homework in 1st grade.  I LOVED school, and I just don't see that same love for school in my daughter, but she loves to learn.  We read non-fiction as her bedtime story every night, as she loves animals and wants to know ALL the facts about them.  If I homeschooled, I could easily unschool and teach her geography, reading, science, vocabulary and spelling and base it on animals.  I could probably fit math in there, as well, I'd just have to get creative.  We had to finish her homework yesterday, so we did 'homeschool' and she wanted me to pick a subject in between every page of homework to do, and she really had fun.  We did tanagrams, silent reading, watched science videos about animals (symbiotic relationship and the life cyle of mosquitoes), art and recess plus the 8 pages of writing practice she needed to finish up, from the 26 (okay, 13 front and back) page packet she brought home on Friday. 

Then there's the ability to take her places, which now has to be done during breaks.  My husband gets to go to Chicago this fall for work, and I would LOVE to take her and take her to all the museums.  Unfortunately, she picks up colds all the time, and has already missed two days of school, so taking a week off is out of the cards.  I'll get a truancy letter at 10 days missed, and it's just not a batlle I want to fight with the district.  She needs her days off to be saved for sickness, which is the intent of course, but I'd love to take her to Chicago on this trip that is being paid for by my husband's work.  We'll do Chicago another time with her.  Sigh. 

There are absolutely good things about her being in school, so don't take this as me being anti-school.  I like that I don't have to butt heads with her, we get a bit of a break from each other and she definitely learned a bunch last year in kindergarten.  She started to read, which was my goal for her, and she was very well-behaved and a good student, which was a relief.  We'll see what happens in the coming years, and for now, we are taking it one year at a time.  I do look forward to a time where I can start working part-time again, and if I homeschooled that would be difficult. 

You absolutely will get push-back if you homeschool.  I can kind of understand that if it were the 1980's, when it was relatively rare.  But nowadays?  I don't get it.  Just check your local laws on schooling though, and make sure you comply. 

[SteveRyeCurd]

In my world, I don't sense any stigma toward the home-schooling of my two kids.  In fact, we unschool - but I'm such an oddball that no one is surprised that we would be doing something so unusual.

For us, it has worked out great - with the main indicators being that my kids are happy almost all of the time, healthy, engaged, and curious.

[RichLife]

No kids here, but I was home schooled a few years due to health issues. I really loved it, my mom and I always had a good bond and she was a very patient teacher. This really helped my eagerness to learn and I was very shocked when I went to a normal school that other kids would pick on me for enjoying learning. Luckily they did not manage to kill that spark, as unfortunately happens with some. As such I think parents who like the idea should certainly give it a try.

[robquinn2005]

We currently have our kids in private school but im thinking of moving to Brazil and we would have to home school but our problem is my wife is a foriner and is not able to home school the kids. I was always thinking there must be some program where kids can go to school online using a combination of skype their books and the computer as they can ask a teacher questions online and the teacher can watch them work. If you hear of this you have to let me know.

[MayDay]

There isn't any stigma where I have lived, but my secular homeschooling friends have struggled at times to find non-religious groups and curriculums. 

My issue is that I need a break from my kids.  They fight all the time, get on my last nerve, and I want adult time to be able to concentrate and focus without them being all up in my business.  Teaching them should rightly be a full time-ish job, and I have way too much other stuff that I would rather be doing. 

[Michread]

Homeschooled my 2 sons for a combined 11 yrs. There are pros & cons to every situation - homeschooling is no different.  I did it because it worked well for our family. 

[darkadams00]

In NC, homeschoolers account for about 5.5% of all students, roughly equal to the number of private school students in the state. NC also has a non-public education division for compiling statistics and handling registration and legal issues related to homeschools and private schools. Even in a state that is legally favorable and statistically well-represented in the home school area, many people still assign a social stigma to homeschooling families. However, I would posit that the detractors are likely no more numerous than folks who look unfavorably at the frugal approach to finances or who criticize folks who ride bikes for work and errands. But homeschoolers can't dodge the issue because one of the first adult questions asked at a social function is "Where do your kids go to school?" This is not rude or intrusive. It's an accepted conversation starter among new acquaintances.

You have to address it after the fact. You can't avoid or eliminate the question. Find a way to open the discussion with what your kids are DOING, where they are GOING, and what they are LEARNING. Most parents of kids above third grade (especially dads) couldn't tell you more than 2-3 sentences about what their kids do in school. They only go on 1-2 field trips per year, so that's easier but probably more about a day out of school than learning outside the classroom. And they only know their kids' grades, not the topics in the classroom. When you can intellectually establish yourself as a seriously knowledgeable person about education--specifically your children's education--then everyone can respect that and approach homeschooling intellectually. Be sure not to make the conversation personal about the other adult, don't proselytize for the home school "movement," and don't act or speak in a condescending fashion.

Intellectual adults that you would want as friends can understand your position, your rationale, and even your results, even if they wouldn't follow your path. Those that disregard your choice without a question or reason can be dismissed from your social circle at the earliest convenience.

Personal experience: My parents homeschooled my brother and sister for 4 years (upper elementary, middle school) after I graduated from high school. My sister enjoyed it. My brother did not. Both did well academically. Both went to private school afterwards and were also successful there.

[Zikoris]

Not a parent, but I did a good chunk of my schooling at home - half of grade one, all of grade two, and all my high school. It was a good experience. Worked really well around my work schedule, since I've been working since 13, and allowed me to not be shipped off to live with some awful family when I lived in a remote northern community with no school during my teen years.

In Canada we have something called "distance learning" that's a little different than what you might think of with homeschooling. It's run by the education ministry, and they send you all supplies, textbooks, etc. You go through lesson by lesson, teach yourself, and submit assignments by mail or internet. You can call or email your "teachers" if there's any problems. You graduate with the same credentials as any other high schooler and have no issues with applying to universities or anything. The parents don't need to be experts, since all the material is laid out in lessons and you just work through it. You write tests at a local school, library, police station, church, or wherever else you can find someone to invigilate.

I wouldn't say it was necessarily better or worse. It did allow me to completely sidestep the drama/bs that goes on in "real" high schools, and I'm almost certainly more self-reliant from teaching myself for five years than I would be without it.

[TeresaB]

My first child isn't born yet, but I hope to homeschool if possible. I was homeschooled most of my life and I would say that while I don't exactly experience prejudice, there's still a lot of misinformation/ignorance/stereotypes. One common assumption is that we never get to talk to anyone outside of our family and never get to do any activities so we wind up socially awkward. Another is a skepticism about the legitimacy of our education--how can we prove that we actually learned anything if our parents aren't accountable to anyone? (I always ask who double-checked their teachers' grades. But I'm snarky. Haha.)

A lot of this is confirmation bias. Everyone knows awkward public school kids, but they never assume that public school made them that way. Everyone knows public school people who don't read and can't write, and we do talk about ways to fix public schools but we don't condemn the whole system. But every homeschooled kid who isn't perfect is somehow a condemnation of homeschooling. It can be kind of a tough burden to be an ambassador as a child.

I think in general the best way to respond is just to explain why these issues aren't inherent in homeschooling and are more present in traditional school than people assume. But be friendly about it--homeschooling is a family commitment and not every family is structured in a way that makes it a good choice.

[Thegoblinchief]

On my second year of homeschooling. Kids love it. I love it, even though it's a lot of work - and I'm not even that structure about it!

Fall is the best time of year, because suddenly the outdoors isn't crowded, and we can go anywhere whenever we want. The weather here in September and October is the best of the year. Summer like but with cooler nights and less humidity.

Winter in snowy climates is the true test but even during last year's awful winter my kids did great despite rarely leaving the house.

I don't typically get push back. Most people think it's really cool - just not something they would do. Hmm, kind of like working towards early retirement...

[freeazabird]

On my second year of homeschooling. Kids love it. I love it, even though it's a lot of work - and I'm not even that structure about it!

Fall is the best time of year, because suddenly the outdoors isn't crowded, and we can go anywhere whenever we want. The weather here in September and October is the best of the year. Summer like but with cooler nights and less humidity.

Winter in snowy climates is the true test but even during last year's awful winter my kids did great despite rarely leaving the house.

I don't typically get push back. Most people think it's really cool - just not something they would do. Hmm, kind of like working towards early retirement...

Thanks for the feedback. What made you decide to homeschool?

[Thegoblinchief]

Main two reasons:

1. Oldest has never adapted well emotionally to school, and we tried three different ones. She was also way ahead in reading but really struggled with the pace and structure of math.

My younger daughter did great in school, but she and my oldest are so close in age they're like twins, so homeschooling both makes sense, as they're almost identical grade levels.

2. The stress of commuting home--daycare--school--work got to be awful. We're much happier as a family without it, and my kids get out plenty with homeschooling.

[Airc00led]

Wanted to include this in case it helps you or others who check this thread:

Since it has grown so much homeschooling resources have greatly expanded. After I tell someone it's not for everyone, I also include that many can do it who think they can't, here's why.

Imagine a spectrum where on one end is highly structured traditional classroom education and on the other end is unschooling which is very free form. There are points in between for almost every situation.

For years we homeschooled with our own constructed curriculum. Now we use a mix of homeschool curriculum and our kids attend class room courses for particular subjects. It is a "hybrid" type academy catering to homeschoolers. There are some people who take many classes there while folks like us do it a la carte.

For us, learning is a lifestyle incorporated into our vacations to me teaching the kids carpentry and car repair. You can really make it what you want.

Be forewarned, should you decide to homeschool, far and away the question you will get most is "what about SOCIALIZATION??" As if you're a family of shut ins. But, the freedom and rewards far outweigh that type of annoyance.

[airforcestache]

This is our sixth year homeschooling our four kids.  They have never been to real school, so I can't make a comparison there.  There are definitely pros and cons, but we like what we've got right now.

We started to homeschool because we move every couple years and we wanted the kids to have a consistent education without major gaps.  You are essentially their private tutor, so the work time is much more efficient and you are teaching exactly at your child's level.  Once they can read well, they are able to teach a lot to themselves, and by high school they are essentially self-taught with the parent as the supervisor.  At our house, all work is done by 3pm, leaving time to play outside and for evening sports & activities.  Because there is no homework, it is actually easier to get involved in extracurricular activities.

Homeschooled kids are regular kids.  The shy ones are shy and the outgoing ones are outgoing.  You are not going to keep them locked in the house, so that's really not an issue.  My kids are involved in lunch time playdates at the park with other homeschoolers, some outside classes, sports, and other activities.  The only difference is that they do their school at home and you aren't scrambling to get work done at night.

Now, don't get me wrong, this is a real job.  I start at 8 and finish around 3 and do the planning and grading.  There are discipline issues and frustrations.  Oh, and it's unpaid.  You are volunteering to do a job that other people get paid to do.  You are around your kids almost all the time, so that's another issue to work through.  But you don't have to do school fundraisers and get them up when they are tired and pack lunches.

It really is a different type of lifestyle.  It's more relaxed & flexible, and my kids really are each other's best friends.  Best of luck!

[MamaFootball]

Yes and I'm a bit of an oddball on this one. My parents started homeschooling in 1984, just in time for me to start high school. To put it kindly, we were certainly viewed as freaks. The best thing that I can say about my experience is that I got to study Greek and could get to my after school job earlier than the rest of the kids my age so I was a favorite.

The funny thing is that I swore I'd never do "that" to my kids but I homeschooled all three of them from grades 2,3 and 5 respectively. Things have changed so much since I was a kid. Tons of resources available, so many activities and classes for them to take, groups, co-ops, etc. It has almost tipped the other way, with a lot of compensation for the perceived missed social interaction.  One of my kiddos has special needs, extremely fragile health and a very compromised immune system. Our reason for choosing to homeschool her were different than the reasons for our other two kids, but it worked out for all of them. 

When they were young, it gave us the freedom for them to learn in an incredibly hands on way. For example, my DH had to travel frequently to Scotland to work, we saved frequent flier miles and all went for 10 days together and hit the streets every morning to explore and learn. We were also able to let them really dig into subjects that they were interested in when they were interested in them. I'm thinking that fourth grade isn't generally the time for a kid to do an extensive study on WW2, but he was so interested in that topic that he studied the contributing factors in history as well as the aftermath leading into the Cold War. I didn't have to stop him and make him study another time in history right then.

By the time they were in high school, they took classes through an assortment of outlets for all their science requirements as well as math and foreign language.  I wanted to make sure that they had everything that they needed to move on to college. As far as the social concerns go,  all three of them went to the prom at least once, my son played real Friday Night Lights tackle football through high school and they all participated in lots of events, volunteer opportunities and trips with their homeschool group of friends.



Homeschooling isn't for everyone. Not for every parent and not for every child. Just happened to be a really good experience for us. At this stage of the game my oldest works a job that she loves, participates in community theater and volunteers with youth at her church. My differently able daughter reads everything she gets her hands on and is very involved with social media while she is fighting health issues hard. My youngest is in his second year of college, working part time and doing just fine. There are some things that I would have changed but we are very blessed.

[MoneyCat]

I believe homeschooling is great, because the media tells me that there is absolutely no skill involved in being a teacher and anyone can do it without any training at all.  That's why Teach for America exists.

[kdms]

Yes...we just started.  My oldest was supposed to start junior kindergarten yesterday and instead, we went to the annual 'Not Back to School picnic' at Meech Lake here in the Ottawa Valley as just one of over 500 families in just one of the many homeschooling groups in the area.  My son had a great time...he said it was much more fun than riding the school bus, which was the only reason he wanted to go to school to begin with.  :)

[Thegoblinchief]

I believe homeschooling is great, because the media tells me that there is absolutely no skill involved in being a teacher and anyone can do it without any training at all.  That's why Teach for America exists.

There absolutely is skill in teaching. But by your logic no one can DIY anything because they haven't been trained...

[Nudelkopf]

I was always thinking there must be some program where kids can go to school online using a combination of skype their books and the computer as they can ask a teacher questions online and the teacher can watch them work. If you hear of this you have to let me know.

It's called a "school of the air" or a "school of distance education". My housemate currently works for one of these schools, and my Mum used to work for one. You could try googling it.

[popsy13]

I am not in the favour of home school because kids learn quickly when they interact with other kids.

[mxt0133]

I am not in the favour of home school because kids learn quickly when they interact with other kids.

That is another misconception about home schooling, home schoolers have a lot of interaction with other kids.  They are not kept in the basement and only talk to their parents.  One of the home schooling group I belong to has 3-4 meet-ups a week and has over 50 families in just one group.  My son interacts with various ages of kids.

 By your logic if kids do indeed learn more quickly when they interact with other kids then interacting with a wider variety of kids than the same 25-30 kids for 9 months should be better.  Also I don't know what school you went to but when I was in school I was constantly told not to talk to other kids for most of the day.  So home schoolers that interact with other kids in a open and unrestricted environment is even better.

[nordlead]

I was home schooled 1-12. In university when people asked where I went to school and told them I was home schooled they were typically dumbfounded. Probably because I was #1 in my class (Computer Engineering), and home schoolers weren't that common. The university admittance officer actually asked me to take a GED test due to the common misconception that home schoolers grades aren't legitimate (they are!!). I intend to home school my children and the youngest will be starting Kindergarten soon. It is behind schedule because we decided to do an actual Pre-k curriculum over the summer. He probably didn't need it, but it can't hurt. Since home schooling provides the flexibility he'll be caught up before the school year ends.

Home schooling is the best way to educate a child in my opinion. From being able to do many different things with many different people, to individual teaching at an independent pace, to group classes. You really get the best of everything if you use the resources available. Sports, music, robotics, art, and more are all available to home schoolers. Of course, it takes dedication and work on the part of the teacher, and may take a lot of work trying to figure out how to make it best for your child. Obviously this isn't for everyone due to the work involved (the parent becomes a full time teacher in the early years). I know some parents who put in almost no effort and their kids would have been much better off in public school.

I would say 95% of the home school students I knew loved being home schooled. The only ones I knew who didn't like home schooling were the children who weren't provided the ability to socialize the way that fit them (basically the parents never found groups for their child to participate in). I also knew one guy who kept switching back and forth until highschool because he wanted to be involved in Football. Back then the schools wouldn't allow you to play on the sports teams unless you were attending. Now I'm pretty sure they have to accept you for sports in our area (at least I knew 3 girls who played school lacrosse and were home schooled).

The socializing question was by far the most common though. Not a big deal though, as most people realize their assumptions are wrong within a few minutes of meeting the child.

[popsy13]

I was home schooled 1-12. In university when people asked where I went to school and told them I was home schooled they were typically dumbfounded. Probably because I was #1 in my class (Computer Engineering), and home schoolers weren't that common. The university admittance officer actually asked me to take a GED test due to the common misconception that home schoolers grades aren't legitimate (they are!!). I intend to home school my children and the youngest will be starting Kindergarten soon. It is behind schedule because we decided to do an actual Pre-k curriculum over the summer. He probably didn't need it, but it can't hurt. Since home schooling provides the flexibility he'll be caught up before the school year ends.

Home schooling is the best way to educate a child in my opinion. From being able to do many different things with many different people, to individual teaching at an independent pace, to group classes. You really get the best of everything if you use the resources available. Sports, music, robotics, art, and more are all available to home schoolers. Of course, it takes dedication and work on the part of the teacher, and may take a lot of work trying to figure out how to make it best for your child. Obviously this isn't for everyone due to the work involved (the parent becomes a full time teacher in the early years). I know some parents who put in almost no effort and their kids would have been much better off in public school.

I would say 95% of the home school students I knew loved being home schooled. The only ones I knew who didn't like home schooling were the children who weren't provided the ability to socialize the way that fit them (basically the parents never found groups for their child to participate in). I also knew one guy who kept switching back and forth until highschool because he wanted to be involved in Football. Back then the schools wouldn't allow you to play on the sports teams unless you were attending. Now I'm pretty sure they have to accept you for sports in our area (at least I knew 3 girls who played school lacrosse and were home schooled).

The socializing question was by far the most common though. Not a big deal though, as most people realize their assumptions are wrong within a few minutes of meeting the child.

I have done my studies from reputed school and college. I am saying that kids gets motivated when they see other kids doing the same thing faster and in different ways. They are not restricted to the apply for the ways which are taught by their teacher or their parents. Teach them to compete and have fun with other kids on daily basis. Encourage kids to participate in games and extra curricular activities.

[popsy13]

Sorry the quote is for mxt0133

[1967mama]

A great study on homeschooling can be found here:

https://www.fraserinstitute.org/WorkArea/DownloadAsset.aspx?id=2953

I am in my 19th year of homeschooling (large family) and have never looked back -- love it -- no regrets!

[Moonwaves]

I am saying that kids gets motivated when they see other kids doing the same thing faster and in different ways.

I don't think you can really generalise like that, can you? I know that seeing other kids doing something faster or better than me was never motivating for me and I loathed (and still do) having to take part in competitive sports. I'm sure I couldn't be the only one who feels like that. :)

[Neustache]

Competition worked really well for me.  It was a huge motivator.  Competition stresses my DD out to no end.  YYMV.

[Jules13]

My oldest is in 3rd and my youngest in K.  I think about homeschooling a lot.  I would like to have more flexibility with travel and not have to cram in activities in a few hours after school (in addition to homework and playing) and on weekends.  I am considering it for middle school for sure.  There is a big homeschooling community in my area which helps.  If there wasn't I would be a lot more hesitant about it.  It's still something that is pretty 'out of the box' for me so I understand your hesitation.  It's a big step.  Even moreso for me since my kids are in a 'lottery' school.  If you pull them out, you lose your spot.  It's a great school, but the lottery system makes it feel like 'golden handcuffs'.  Good luck with your decision. 

Here's a great video that I think is really inspiring when I think of all my kid could do and learn if not tied down to traditional school where he doesn't get to do all the fun hands-on learning that he loves.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h11u3vtcpaY

[TrMama]

Do any seasoned homeschool parents have any advise on making the transition from "just the parent" to becoming the parent and teacher in terms of your relationship with your child?

I've been trying to do some homeschooling with my kids (Grade 1 and 3) and am getting a lot of resistance from them when I try to teach them, correct them or make them do schoolwork for more than about 5 minutes. It often ends in a fight and I hate "forcing" them to do something that should be a positive experience.

The background here is that we live in BC which is in the middle of a bitter teachers strike. Normally they go to public school, but they missed 3 weeks in June due to strikes and even though school was supposed to start again last Tuesday, I realistically can't see the strike being resolved before October (possibly longer). To further complicate matters DH and I both work full time and want them to go back to school whenever this gets sorted out.

[1967mama]

Do any seasoned homeschool parents have any advise on making the transition from "just the parent" to becoming the parent and teacher in terms of your relationship with your child?

I've been trying to do some homeschooling with my kids (Grade 1 and 3) and am getting a lot of resistance from them when I try to teach them, correct them or make them do schoolwork for more than about 5 minutes. It often ends in a fight and I hate "forcing" them to do something that should be a positive experience.

That is one of the beautiful things about homeschooling .. It doesn't always have to look like "school at home!" 

Take advantage of the beautiful late summer weather to get outside and do nature walks (pick up a sketch pad at the dollar store and some oil pastels for them to illustrate what they see), go to the museums/science Center/aquarium/historical sites that aren't so busy now. Give them your camera to go crazy with photography -- print out the photos and make collages together for their rooms.   Go to the public library and challenge them to take out 25 books each! Buy or make a special bag for library books -- craft stores carry low cost canvas bags and fabric paint. 

Learning by experience is wonderful! One of my favorite parts of homeschooling all these years! You can be their mom AND their teacher, just like you were from birth to age 5! :-)

[Zikoris]

Do any seasoned homeschool parents have any advise on making the transition from "just the parent" to becoming the parent and teacher in terms of your relationship with your child?

I've been trying to do some homeschooling with my kids (Grade 1 and 3) and am getting a lot of resistance from them when I try to teach them, correct them or make them do schoolwork for more than about 5 minutes. It often ends in a fight and I hate "forcing" them to do something that should be a positive experience.

The background here is that we live in BC which is in the middle of a bitter teachers strike. Normally they go to public school, but they missed 3 weeks in June due to strikes and even though school was supposed to start again last Tuesday, I realistically can't see the strike being resolved before October (possibly longer). To further complicate matters DH and I both work full time and want them to go back to school whenever this gets sorted out.

When I was homeschooled in elementary school (in BC!), we used the provincial distance education system. It has day by day lessons that you work through, and you send those in to your "teacher". I think there's a better dynamic with that system because you're not the one marking/judging their work, you just go through the lesson exactly as laid out and they mail/email the assignments in. More like an overseer role I guess, where you offer help as much or as little as they need.