Author Topic: Do you ever get "The Look"?  (Read 28773 times)

dreams_and_discoveries

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #150 on: September 14, 2017, 09:50:45 AM »

Reading this made me realize I gave the Look once.

I did a triathlon once, a long time ago.  On the morning of the event, riding the bus from the finish line area up to the swim start, I saw an 80 year old skinny man who was obviously a fellow competitor.

"Well, at least I won't come in dead last," I clearly remember thinking.

I shouldn't have assumed.  The guy beat me by nearly an hour.

Yep, every week I go through the ParkRun results, to see how many over 70 beat me, sometimes it's only 2, other times it's 3!

One of my favorite memories is my double take/ "look" when we picked up my mom after a solo hike.
Her attire:   
Walking stick a foot taller than her, stout enough to be suitable for Friar Tuck.
Serious hiking boots.  Dog nearby.
A gun at her hip.
Micky Mouse t-shirt.

So proud.  Still brings a warm feeling.

Your mum is a badass.

Dollar Slice

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #151 on: September 14, 2017, 10:38:49 AM »
I got the "look" and the accompanying interrogation last night after letting it slip that I own "only" 4 pairs of shoes...  They looked at me like they'd just noticed I had two heads!

Heh. I have a pair of sneakers and a pair of boots.

If I get invited to a wedding or have to attend a funeral, I guess I'll have to buy some. Until then, I'm good.
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nawhite

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #152 on: September 14, 2017, 11:57:31 AM »
I've run into this when renting houses with roommates. Most recently, we were renting a house for $2900/month and the landlord gave me the look when I said I could just write a personal check for the $8700 for first month, last month, and security deposit if they were ok with that or I could get them a cashier's check later that day. Apparently most people they dealt with don't keep $9000 in their checking accounts and need time to borrow money or complain about requiring the last month too.
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RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #153 on: September 14, 2017, 12:07:59 PM »
I've run into this when renting houses with roommates. Most recently, we were renting a house for $2900/month and the landlord gave me the look when I said I could just write a personal check for the $8700 for first month, last month, and security deposit if they were ok with that or I could get them a cashier's check later that day. Apparently most people they dealt with don't keep $9000 in their checking accounts and need time to borrow money or complain about requiring the last month too.

Oh yea, I got that once, similar circumstance, forgot about that one.  My GF and I were trying to rent a house.  I was unemployed at the time (collecting unemployment, taking my time because I still had a positive savings rate, so was looking for a job I really wanted).  My GF was in school full time, not working.  I didn't even think about how bad we looked on paper, because we were doing great, had plenty of savings, etc.  The property manager said:

PM: good application and I feel like you'd be great tenants, but I know the owner isn't going to be comfortable with you not having reliable income
Me: oh, hmm.  what if I put down an extra deposit down, like a financial security deposit?
PM: that might work, how much can you put down?
Me: *shrug* how much do you want?
PM: *the look* a full month's rent?
Me: oh that's all?  yea no problem

Got the place no problem, lived there a couple years, got all the deposits back at the end

Drifterrider

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #154 on: September 14, 2017, 01:00:13 PM »
I find it amazing that people my age (fifties) still finance cars and other smallish purchases.

Worse than millennials. Because by that age those people really should know better.

It all depends.  I bought a new car last year (the one before that was 2004 and I still own it).  I financed through the manufacturer:  0% interest. (and they gave me an additional $500 discount for doing so).

Sometimes, financing makes cents [sic].

mm1970

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #155 on: September 14, 2017, 01:53:30 PM »

Reading this made me realize I gave the Look once.

I did a triathlon once, a long time ago.  On the morning of the event, riding the bus from the finish line area up to the swim start, I saw an 80 year old skinny man who was obviously a fellow competitor.

"Well, at least I won't come in dead last," I clearly remember thinking.

I shouldn't have assumed.  The guy beat me by nearly an hour.

Yep, every week I go through the ParkRun results, to see how many over 70 beat me, sometimes it's only 2, other times it's 3!

One of my favorite memories is my double take/ "look" when we picked up my mom after a solo hike.
Her attire:   
Walking stick a foot taller than her, stout enough to be suitable for Friar Tuck.
Serious hiking boots.  Dog nearby.
A gun at her hip.
Micky Mouse t-shirt.

So proud.  Still brings a warm feeling.

Your mum is a badass.
I don't run many races (too cheap), but used to.  I've run a couple of them this year, and I see the same guys I saw 7-8 years ago when running a lot.  They were in their 60s then, 70s now, and yes they still beat me!

fantabulous

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #156 on: September 14, 2017, 02:02:05 PM »
Does "The Look" for being visibly trans count?

BFGirl

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #157 on: September 14, 2017, 02:13:46 PM »
Buying a car with cash.  Had to show them my bank account balance before they would draw up the paperwork.

Altons Bobs

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #158 on: September 14, 2017, 04:04:10 PM »
I got the look when this health care person heard that I worked out 7 days a week, 2x on Saturday and Sunday. That was when I was younger, wish I still had the discipline now.

I got the look when I showed my friends I walked 33k steps a day.

I gave my friend the look when she told me she got a loan for her car. None of my other friends bought cars with loans except her. I gave this guy the look when he bragged about how much money he had, how high his property tax was, etc.  I just didn't tell him I had quite a few times more than him and my property tax was also more, not something I wanted to brag about or disclose.

dycker1978

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #159 on: September 14, 2017, 04:13:39 PM »
Does "The Look" for being visibly trans count?

This is a look I am all too familiar with.  I run a trans support org here and my youngest is trans.

seattlecyclone

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #160 on: September 14, 2017, 06:18:12 PM »
I don't get "the look" much anymore. It happened once or twice at the bank when we bought our most recent house...I guess asking for a six-figure cashiers' check for a down payment can do that even when you're a white dude in the tech industry.

I did get it a few times back when I was in school. I think my favorite was when I was in grad school earning something like $1,500/month as a teaching assistant. I brought in the form to our department's HR lady to sign up for the university's 403(b) plan and contribute $1,300/month. She definitely asked if I was sure about this. I had plenty of money saved up from a summer internship to pay my living expenses for the school year, so I was happy to put essentially all of my after-tax salary in the retirement plan.
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rocketpj

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #161 on: September 14, 2017, 06:45:05 PM »
I generally look a lot like people expect me to look - middle aged, slightly paunchy middle class dude with kids and a mortgage. 

I see no reason to tell them about my financial situation, it seems the 'normal thing' around here is to pretend that the cost of things doesn't matter or isn't a problem (i.e. for a new hot water tank at an unexpected time).  In my case that may be true, though I am sure many others are living on debt.

pachnik

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #162 on: September 14, 2017, 06:47:28 PM »
One thing I have learned over the years is that when meeting someone new and you dont know there situation always assume the other person is in the best/most respectable possible situation, if you are wrong your foot wont be in your mouth.  If they say they work in a dentist office assume they are the dentist; they say they work at a university you address them as dr/prof; they say they work at the shipping port you ask if they drive the big cranes; you see someone on a cool bike you assume it is theirs.  This rule does not have a gender or age caveat.
That's very wise and great advice. I try not to make assumptions but I often do - and not always good ones - so will try to remember this for the future.

+1 and +1  - Very good advice.  and I also make assumptions that aren't the best.

sequoia

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #163 on: September 15, 2017, 02:28:26 AM »
One more thing that I now remember after reading all of these. Years ago we bought our first house. Ours was one of the first house being built in the entire neighborhood, so there were a lot of construction workers running around building other houses when we moved in.

I was mowing my lawn one day with my tshirt and shorts when one of my neighbor stopped by and ask how much do I charge for mowing the lawn. They like to have their lawn mowed as well lol. I guess I do not look like someone who could own a house.

GuitarStv

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #164 on: September 15, 2017, 07:54:49 AM »
One more thing that I now remember after reading all of these. Years ago we bought our first house. Ours was one of the first house being built in the entire neighborhood, so there were a lot of construction workers running around building other houses when we moved in.

I was mowing my lawn one day with my tshirt and shorts when one of my neighbor stopped by and ask how much do I charge for mowing the lawn. They like to have their lawn mowed as well lol. I guess I do not look like someone who could own a house.

What did you charge him?

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #165 on: September 15, 2017, 08:07:33 AM »
One more thing that I now remember after reading all of these. Years ago we bought our first house. Ours was one of the first house being built in the entire neighborhood, so there were a lot of construction workers running around building other houses when we moved in.

I was mowing my lawn one day with my tshirt and shorts when one of my neighbor stopped by and ask how much do I charge for mowing the lawn. They like to have their lawn mowed as well lol. I guess I do not look like someone who could own a house.

That's funny!

I mow my neighbor's lawn for free. She's older and her husband passed away, but before he did so, he prearranged with me and my husband to take care of a few things. Every year, she asks if this is the year she should go ahead and hire a lawn service, and I say no because I want need the exercise. I probably don't mow quite as often as she'd prefer (10 days instead of 7) because I work full-time, but she understands and is patient. :)

Finallyunderstand

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #166 on: September 15, 2017, 08:08:12 AM »
Friends were talking about mortgage payments.  They asked me what my mortgage payment is.

Me: It was $x,xxx/month
Friend:  Was?
Me: Don't have one anymore.
Friend: You've only lived there 6 years.
Me: Yeah.

He was quiet for a little bit.  I didn't really even think about it when I said "was". 

To me those conversations make no sense.  You have no idea what the person rate or terms are and what they put down for a down payment.  Plus, are they including taxes and insurance in that monthly amount?  You would have to ask follow up questions to see how they really compare to you or others so what's the point?

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #167 on: September 15, 2017, 08:40:13 AM »
One thing I have learned over the years is that when meeting someone new and you dont know there situation always assume the other person is in the best/most respectable possible situation, if you are wrong your foot wont be in your mouth.  If they say they work in a dentist office assume they are the dentist; they say they work at a university you address them as dr/prof; they say they work at the shipping port you ask if they drive the big cranes; you see someone on a cool bike you assume it is theirs.  This rule does not have a gender or age caveat.
+1000000000

I do this from a "everyone you meet is your teacher" perspective.

mm1970

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #168 on: September 15, 2017, 01:19:49 PM »
We're all forgetting the most important one. "The Look" you get or will get when you tell people you retired at 40ish or under. Especially if, instead of looking like you live a very high life and therefore won the lottery, you look like you live in a van down by the river and are eating government cheese and are therefore a welfare bum living off the government dole. I usually just want to smack people upside the head with a copy of "The Millionaire Next door" who think that. I don't but I wanna.
I don't think that I look like I'm living in a van down by the river.

But sometimes I wonder.  I get occasional looks.  I'm not into fashion, my hair is wash and go (almost always in a bun.  I get my hair cut into a bob 2x a year and get so many compliments.)  I don't wear makeup.  I drive an old car.  The looks are "why are you such a schlub?"  I get a little leeway for being an engineer.

OTOH, one of my friends (our kids are in school together) once said "It must be nice to be able to afford summer camp for your kid and not even use it." (Last week before school started, we pulled our kid out of camp early 2 days because he had doctor and dentist appts.)

So.  Once or twice I was counseled by friends in their 50s to not quit my job in frustration because it's really hard to get rehired at that age.  On one hand, I get it - I do like work, so there is that aspect.  I tried to explain that I could quit and never work again, but the look I got was so strange I just decided to keep my mouth shut after that.

GuitarStv

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #169 on: September 15, 2017, 02:20:09 PM »
We're all forgetting the most important one. "The Look" you get or will get when you tell people you retired at 40ish or under. Especially if, instead of looking like you live a very high life and therefore won the lottery, you look like you live in a van down by the river and are eating government cheese and are therefore a welfare bum living off the government dole. I usually just want to smack people upside the head with a copy of "The Millionaire Next door" who think that. I don't but I wanna.
I don't think that I look like I'm living in a van down by the river.

But sometimes I wonder.  I get occasional looks.  I'm not into fashion, my hair is wash and go (almost always in a bun.  I get my hair cut into a bob 2x a year and get so many compliments.)  I don't wear makeup.  I drive an old car.  The looks are "why are you such a schlub?"  I get a little leeway for being an engineer.

I used to think that I didn't look like I was living in a van down by the river, but sometimes life gives you reason to wonder.

I had to go downtown for jury duty a couple years ago.  The first morning that I headed out I was wearing an old t-shirt, baggy grey hoodie, some not too badly faded jeans, my 15 year old leather jacket, and some running shoes (with my beat up backpack).  I was happy not to have to dress up or shave for work and cheerfully rode the bus down to the subway, then took the subway to the courthouse.  I got there more than an hour early, so in a very unusual splurge of wastefulness decided to buy a cup of coffee.  Since it was a sunny November day and all the benches were taken, I found an out of the way spot near the courthouse doors, sat down, and drank my coffee.

About ten minutes later a dude threw some coins in my (now empty) cup.  I was like 'Huh.  That was weird.'  But then it happened again, so I figured it would be best if I stood up and went somewhere else.  Apparently my default natural state of dress is 'street person' style.  :P

AlanStache

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #170 on: September 15, 2017, 02:31:26 PM »
We're all forgetting the most important one. "The Look" you get or will get when you tell people you retired at 40ish or under. Especially if, instead of looking like you live a very high life and therefore won the lottery, you look like you live in a van down by the river and are eating government cheese and are therefore a welfare bum living off the government dole. I usually just want to smack people upside the head with a copy of "The Millionaire Next door" who think that. I don't but I wanna.
I don't think that I look like I'm living in a van down by the river.

But sometimes I wonder.  I get occasional looks.  I'm not into fashion, my hair is wash and go (almost always in a bun.  I get my hair cut into a bob 2x a year and get so many compliments.)  I don't wear makeup.  I drive an old car.  The looks are "why are you such a schlub?"  I get a little leeway for being an engineer.

I used to think that I didn't look like I was living in a van down by the river, but sometimes life gives you reason to wonder.

I had to go downtown for jury duty a couple years ago.  The first morning that I headed out I was wearing an old t-shirt, baggy grey hoodie, some not too badly faded jeans, my 15 year old leather jacket, and some running shoes (with my beat up backpack).  I was happy not to have to dress up or shave for work and cheerfully rode the bus down to the subway, then took the subway to the courthouse.  I got there more than an hour early, so in a very unusual splurge of wastefulness decided to buy a cup of coffee.  Since it was a sunny November day and all the benches were taken, I found an out of the way spot near the courthouse doors, sat down, and drank my coffee.

About ten minutes later a dude threw some coins in my (now empty) cup.  I was like 'Huh.  That was weird.'  But then it happened again, so I figured it would be best if I stood up and went somewhere else.  Apparently my default natural state of dress is 'street person' style.  :P

Awesome! Did the change pay for the coffee?

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Altons Bobs

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #171 on: September 15, 2017, 02:38:11 PM »
I had to go downtown for jury duty a couple years ago.  The first morning that I headed out I was wearing an old t-shirt, baggy grey hoodie, some not too badly faded jeans, my 15 year old leather jacket, and some running shoes (with my beat up backpack).  I was happy not to have to dress up or shave for work and cheerfully rode the bus down to the subway, then took the subway to the courthouse.  I got there more than an hour early, so in a very unusual splurge of wastefulness decided to buy a cup of coffee.  Since it was a sunny November day and all the benches were taken, I found an out of the way spot near the courthouse doors, sat down, and drank my coffee.

About ten minutes later a dude threw some coins in my (now empty) cup.  I was like 'Huh.  That was weird.'  But then it happened again, so I figured it would be best if I stood up and went somewhere else.  Apparently my default natural state of dress is 'street person' style.  :P

You should have stayed! I would have! ;-)

GuitarStv

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #172 on: September 15, 2017, 04:04:06 PM »
We're all forgetting the most important one. "The Look" you get or will get when you tell people you retired at 40ish or under. Especially if, instead of looking like you live a very high life and therefore won the lottery, you look like you live in a van down by the river and are eating government cheese and are therefore a welfare bum living off the government dole. I usually just want to smack people upside the head with a copy of "The Millionaire Next door" who think that. I don't but I wanna.
I don't think that I look like I'm living in a van down by the river.

But sometimes I wonder.  I get occasional looks.  I'm not into fashion, my hair is wash and go (almost always in a bun.  I get my hair cut into a bob 2x a year and get so many compliments.)  I don't wear makeup.  I drive an old car.  The looks are "why are you such a schlub?"  I get a little leeway for being an engineer.

I used to think that I didn't look like I was living in a van down by the river, but sometimes life gives you reason to wonder.

I had to go downtown for jury duty a couple years ago.  The first morning that I headed out I was wearing an old t-shirt, baggy grey hoodie, some not too badly faded jeans, my 15 year old leather jacket, and some running shoes (with my beat up backpack).  I was happy not to have to dress up or shave for work and cheerfully rode the bus down to the subway, then took the subway to the courthouse.  I got there more than an hour early, so in a very unusual splurge of wastefulness decided to buy a cup of coffee.  Since it was a sunny November day and all the benches were taken, I found an out of the way spot near the courthouse doors, sat down, and drank my coffee.

About ten minutes later a dude threw some coins in my (now empty) cup.  I was like 'Huh.  That was weird.'  But then it happened again, so I figured it would be best if I stood up and went somewhere else.  Apparently my default natural state of dress is 'street person' style.  :P

Awesome! Did the change pay for the coffee?

Yes!

Lmoot

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #173 on: September 16, 2017, 12:50:46 PM »
I got the look a lot when I bought my house at 25, as a single woman. It was a fixer-upper, so I had a parade of contractors and workers coming through. And I got the same question if of ownership. And the same look. I am 33 now but still look fairly young, or so I'd like to think ha ha! So I still get looks here and there.

I also get the look from coworkers at my part-time job, more so from newer coworkers. I work at a nonprofit full of recent grads, and many don't know how old I am myself. They don't know of my second job, or that it's a full-time job, or how much my salary is (it's not a lot, but it is nearly twice what they would get full time at the non profit. They don't know I own a rental property (my former residential that I am actually renting to a coworker). I often get lumped into conversations of brokeness and I just twiddle my thumbs and try to look normal. If they knew I put twice their paycheck into savings each month, I don't think they would know how to act around me (many of them think I am in my mid 20's like them).


BTDretire

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #174 on: September 16, 2017, 01:24:15 PM »
I mow my neighbor's lawn for free. She's older and her husband passed away, but before he did so, he prearranged with me and my husband to take care of a few things. Every year, she asks if this is the year she should go ahead and hire a lawn service, and I say no because I want need the exercise. I probably don't mow quite as often as she'd prefer (10 days instead of 7) because I work full-time, but she understands and is patient. :)

 I don't know that the look happened but I know there was a reaction.
 A friend in his 70s visited his aunt in her 80s, she's done well picking stocks
and is FI+. He got around to discussing a WILL and found she is giving the house
to the guy that has been mowing the lawn. (That's when I think there was a look)
"He ask don't you already pay him?"
 She said, "Yes" After asking a few more questions about their relationship,
I think he got her thinking more about her nieces.
  Also working at convincing her to remove the attorney as the executor and,
change the will to some other form, because in that state the attorney gets a percent
just to start and that would have been in the $35,000 range.
 

Imma

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #175 on: September 16, 2017, 03:13:46 PM »
Does "The Look" for being visibly trans count?

This is a look I am all too familiar with.  I run a trans support org here and my youngest is trans.

This is an awful look. I'm so sorry you guys have to go through that.

I used to work in the local welfare office some years ago and we had a few trans clients. I was absolutely shocked to see what they went through, both from other people in the waiting room and from my own coworkers. I tried to talk about it to my coworkers and to our boss, but I could just not get my point across why it is hateful to address someone with the wrong pronouns on purpose or to act like being trans is something like a dangerous sexual perversion. I had heard from a trans friend that these things happened, and I believed him, but until you get a glimpse of how some people actually behave, you don't truly believe how bad it can get. I did apologise for the behaviour of my coworker, but there's no apology possible for such humiliation. The damage has been done and can't be undone.

BTDretire

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #176 on: September 16, 2017, 07:55:44 PM »
Does "The Look" for being visibly trans count?

This is a look I am all too familiar with.  I run a trans support org here and my youngest is trans.

This is an awful look. I'm so sorry you guys have to go through that.

I used to work in the local welfare office some years ago and we had a few trans clients. I was absolutely shocked to see what they went through, both from other people in the waiting room and from my own coworkers. I tried to talk about it to my coworkers and to our boss, but I could just not get my point across why it is hateful to address someone with the wrong pronouns on purpose or to act like being trans is something like a dangerous sexual perversion. I had heard from a trans friend that these things happened, and I believed him, but until you get a glimpse of how some people actually behave, you don't truly believe how bad it can get. I did apologise for the behaviour of my coworker, but there's no apology possible for such humiliation. The damage has been done and can't be undone.

 For anyone interested, I recently watched Norm MacDonald interview Caitlyn Jenner.
 While I really like Norm, he is not everyone's cup of tea, but you might enjoy him interviewing Caitlyn. I enjoyed the interview, learned several things I did not know about Caitlyn. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuldL1m6FAs

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #177 on: September 16, 2017, 09:02:36 PM »
Got the look when I went to HR to request that 100% of my paycheck be put into a retirement account.  I don't want any of it taxed nor to have any of it hit my checking account.  They think I'm crazy...

Can you walk me through this one?  How can 100% of your paycheck not be taxed?

-Marley

As a teacher, between the years I bought, and my 457 and 403B, I could have a zero balance. It's the strategy Ed Mills uses on themillionaireeducator.com.

Secretly Saving

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #178 on: September 17, 2017, 12:13:29 AM »
Got the look when I went to HR to request that 100% of my paycheck be put into a retirement account.  I don't want any of it taxed nor to have any of it hit my checking account.  They think I'm crazy...

Can you walk me through this one?  How can 100% of your paycheck not be taxed?

-Marley

As a teacher, between the years I bought, and my 457 and 403B, I could have a zero balance. It's the strategy Ed Mills uses on themillionaireeducator.com.

Yep, I'm a teacher.  That's it exactly.

dragoncar

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #179 on: September 17, 2017, 01:56:51 AM »
Also note that investment earnings are taxable, where upfront savings from the price reduction are taken at face value.

Also note that the lender will require you to carry collision insurance, which you might not want.

dragoncar

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #180 on: September 17, 2017, 02:01:23 AM »
Got the look when I went to HR to request that 100% of my paycheck be put into a retirement account.  I don't want any of it taxed nor to have any of it hit my checking account.  They think I'm crazy...

Can you walk me through this one?  How can 100% of your paycheck not be taxed?

-Marley

It's not really possible. You pay FICA taxes regardless of how much you contribute to a retirement account (except for HSA). So assuming we're not talking about HSA contributions here, the maximum you could allocate to a retirement account should be 92.35% of gross. This does completely avoid federal and [probably?] state taxes though. There are additional complications if you have health insurance deductions and such from your paycheck.

IME from front-loading 401k, you also have to pay some federal and state tax, because (as I understand it) FICA is not deductible from AGI.  In other words, you have to pay federal and state taxes on the income used to pay the FICA tax.  I never thought too hard about it, but it seems like minor double taxation.  I trust my payroll and ADP to do it right, though.

skeeder

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #181 on: September 21, 2017, 09:12:18 AM »
I got the look recently when I replaced my faithful 2002 Saturn SL2.  It had just reached 194k and it needed roughly $1500 worth of work to get it back up to fighting status (shocks all around, muffler, AC, etc) engine was good so was the 5 speed gearbox.  Even without AC it was pretty much $1000 of work.

Wife and I decided that while my highschool car was great, it was time for something a bit...more...universal for her needs and mine. 

I tell my dad, hey!  I just bought a new car! 
Dad: You're Joking
*straight face* no. 
Dad: What you get?
Me: a Camry.
Dad: Good choice, what year?
Me: 2002
Dad: wait...didn't you just sell a...
Me: it was a good year wasn't it? 
Dad: *look*

Needless to say, my dad afterward was impressed with the miles/price and thought it would last a while for me.  He definitely thinks I'm cheap. 

I'm a car guy too--so I know cars a money pits, but I love them so damn much.



Never cry for money because it never cries for you. -Mr. Wonderful

RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #182 on: September 21, 2017, 09:23:31 AM »
I'm a car guy too

I don't think you get to sell a 2000 Saturn and buy a 2002 Camry and call yourself a car guy ;-P

Bravo though, good choice.

ketchup

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #183 on: September 21, 2017, 09:46:28 AM »
I'm a car guy too

I don't think you get to sell a 2000 Saturn and buy a 2002 Camry and call yourself a car guy ;-P

Bravo though, good choice.
A few months ago, after my 2009 blew up I replaced it with a 2001 and got some "looks" whenever asked about it.

There are many flavors of "car guy."  I consider myself one, and I've only ever driven subcompacts and station wagons. :P

sequoia

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #184 on: September 21, 2017, 10:13:07 AM »
I enjoy working on our cars from maintenance to some light mods, so I consider that a hobby and it save us some cash. Instead of being inside all day, I get to be outside, enjoy the weather (I only work outside when the weather is nice ha!).

The new neighbor came by the other day, wanted to introduce himself. He saw our garage door was open. I was doing oil change, tire rotation among other things. He was just surprised I work on my own cars, willing and enjoy to get dirty. He was like, you like working on the car? I got the look haha..

RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #185 on: September 21, 2017, 10:21:00 AM »
He was like, you like working on the car? I got the look haha..

I'd flip that around with 'of course, what's not to like?' :-)

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #186 on: September 21, 2017, 02:01:07 PM »
Does "The Look" for being visibly trans count?

This is a look I am all too familiar with.  I run a trans support org here and my youngest is trans.

This is an awful look. I'm so sorry you guys have to go through that.

I used to work in the local welfare office some years ago and we had a few trans clients. I was absolutely shocked to see what they went through, both from other people in the waiting room and from my own coworkers. I tried to talk about it to my coworkers and to our boss, but I could just not get my point across why it is hateful to address someone with the wrong pronouns on purpose or to act like being trans is something like a dangerous sexual perversion. I had heard from a trans friend that these things happened, and I believed him, but until you get a glimpse of how some people actually behave, you don't truly believe how bad it can get. I did apologise for the behaviour of my coworker, but there's no apology possible for such humiliation. The damage has been done and can't be undone.

On the plus(ish) side, it pushed me towards home ownership and trying to achieve FI. My counter to "the look" is being visibly trans AND visibly successful. Just not the pretend kind of successful that leads to filing for bankruptcy in 3 years.

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #187 on: September 21, 2017, 05:31:39 PM »
I'm getting the look now when I have to explain that I don't work Fridays.

"oh, did you go to four 10's?"

"no, four 8's"   (here's where the look comes in)

"did you have to take a pay cut?"

"yes"

"oh, I'm sorry!"

"don't be, I asked for it!"  (the look returns)

dragoncar

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #188 on: September 21, 2017, 06:06:43 PM »
He was like, you like working on the car? I got the look haha..

I'd flip that around with 'of course, what's not to like?' :-)

Just did an oil change and I was in a hurry so I ended up not noticing the funnel came out of the hole and poured 1.5l of oil on my garage floor.  Didn't like that.

ketchup

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #189 on: September 21, 2017, 06:42:06 PM »
He was like, you like working on the car? I got the look haha..

I'd flip that around with 'of course, what's not to like?' :-)

Just did an oil change and I was in a hurry so I ended up not noticing the funnel came out of the hole and poured 1.5l of oil on my garage floor.  Didn't like that.
My finest work was forgetting to put the drain plug back in and pouring 3.5 quarts of motor oil straight through my engine onto my driveway.

mm1970

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #190 on: September 22, 2017, 09:50:21 AM »
I'm getting the look now when I have to explain that I don't work Fridays.

"oh, did you go to four 10's?"

"no, four 8's"   (here's where the look comes in)

"did you have to take a pay cut?"

"yes"

"oh, I'm sorry!"

"don't be, I asked for it!"  (the look returns)
ha ha ha this is funny

Short story:  I have two kids, and I took a reduction in hours twice when they were young (totally acceptable if you are a mom, even still hard to get).

In any event, late last year one of my coworkers/ former bosses (I've had almost as many bosses here as years here) asked me about "the deal" when working PT, because I'm the only one he knows who has done it.  Basically, he's early 60s, getting frustrated, and wanted to start easing into retirement.  He doesn't need the full salary, but he does need the benefits, and was getting tired of the BS.  I said "30 hours to keep the benefits".  (I did 30 hrs the first time around and 32 the second, because part time is still salaried.  So I found that even at 30 hrs I was working 32.  Might as well get paid for the 2.)

At first he was bummed because he was hoping for 25, but then he realized that he could just take PTO for those 5 hours during most weeks.

Anyway, you'd be surprised at the comments I've gotten from other senior (as in, high in the company, and also older than me - meaning late 50's early 60's) people about his "great deal".  I said "what do you mean?"  "Well, he just doesn't have to work as many hours, and he gets paid for them!  So, here we are all working 50 hrs and only getting paid for 40, and he gets to work 30 and get paid for 30.  It's not really fair."

I pointed out that even at "30 hours" there are weeks he's working more than that, and only getting paid for 30.  Yes, having that kind of deal, if you are firm about your hours (for me, it was that I had to leave at X time to get the kids, for him it's just not coming into work until noon some days) means you are better off.  Less "free work".

What these people COMPLETELY missed is that the company can't really take advantage of you (completely) without your permission.  You don't HAVE to work 50 hours a week.

RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #191 on: September 22, 2017, 10:10:17 AM »
What these people COMPLETELY missed is that the company can't really take advantage of you (completely) without your permission.  You don't HAVE to work 50 hours a week.

Exactly.  I realized, and decided, early on in my career that sometimes shit happens and everyone needs to buckle down and get through it, but if there is constantly too much work for me to do in my 40 hours then that's a staffing problem, and not mine.  Hire someone else or pay me for the time needed to do the job, I'm not working more than I'm getting paid for week after week.

facepalm

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #192 on: September 24, 2017, 11:57:14 AM »
I remembered another from a couple weeks back.

I was working in my classroom the week before school starting, and the new Axa rep comes into my room to introduce himself (why Axa can wander the halls but no one else can I will never know). He says, "Hi. My name is so and so, and I'd like to talk to you about your 403b."

My response, " Your from Axa, right? I left Axa a few years ago for a feuciary. Unless you have a new 403b with rates under .4 percent, I'm not going to be interested. Thanks for stopping in."

He really had no idea what to do with me. I'm not sure he'd ever met a teacher who knew all of the options available.

I get that too. The rep from American Fidelity is due in this Tuesday at our school, and for some reason they get upset when I tell them their offerings pale in comparison to what Vanguard offers.

I get the look when I let it slip that my car and motorcycle are owned outright. Of course, everyone else at the school drives an SUV.

BTDretire

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #193 on: September 24, 2017, 03:02:23 PM »
He was like, you like working on the car? I got the look haha..

I'd flip that around with 'of course, what's not to like?' :-)

Just did an oil change and I was in a hurry so I ended up not noticing the funnel came out of the hole and poured 1.5l of oil on my garage floor.  Didn't like that.
My finest work was forgetting to put the drain plug back in and pouring 3.5 quarts of motor oil straight through my engine onto my driveway.
  My at the time my 23 yr old daughter who is handy and not afraid to jump right in, decided to change the oil on my truck. When she refilled it she could only get two quarts in and it was over filled. It took me a short trip to figure out she drained the transmission. That's about 8000 miles ago so it didn't do any terrible harm.

Kepler

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #194 on: September 24, 2017, 03:20:20 PM »
I posted on here a couple years ago that some tradies our landlord had sent to do work on the exterior of our rental house, gave us a Salvation Army food parcel when they finished the job... :-/  They never came inside, and both my husband and I were on parental leave at the time with a newborn, so I guess we looked unemployed...  They only ever saw me when I was leaving the house to go for a run, and between the sleep deprivation and the purpose of the trip out, I wasn't exactly dressed to impress... 

slappy

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #195 on: September 24, 2017, 04:44:32 PM »
I posted on here a couple years ago that some tradies our landlord had sent to do work on the exterior of our rental house, gave us a Salvation Army food parcel when they finished the job... :-/  They never came inside, and both my husband and I were on parental leave at the time with a newborn, so I guess we looked unemployed...  They only ever saw me when I was leaving the house to go for a run, and between the sleep deprivation and the purpose of the trip out, I wasn't exactly dressed to impress...

I remember that post!

Dicey

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #196 on: September 24, 2017, 05:05:02 PM »
I get looks all the time for various reasons. I wish people would mind their own business. Anyways most recently I was having my house inspected to be certified to rent a room in my house. The inspector asked where the owner is and I said that's me. Got the look. I guess most people believe whatever they see on tv, people who do this, look like this. And sexism too obviously. Women were not allowed to have mortgages until about 30 years ago. You had to find a man to cosign.
Haha! I bought my first house, by myself, in 1988. Whenever I said I owned my own house, I got the Look, followed by the Smirk, followed by a Question about my prior marriage, as in "You must have gotten it or the DP money in a divorce settlement". Um, no. I earned/saved/bought a fixer. I didn't get married until 2012.

Next series of Looks began in 2003 when I bought a brand-new home in a retirement community. I was in my mid-forties and still single. You had to be 55 to live there, but could purchase at any age, which few people knew. I rented out the house, but kept the Casita for myself. Lots of great Looks every time I visited. I still get them, even though I've crossed the age limit threshold.

Now I get the Look occasionally when I say I'm retired. Even in the Retirement Community (where we now own three houses), which tickles me to no end.
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nouveauRiche

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #197 on: September 24, 2017, 05:10:03 PM »
On the plus(ish) side, it pushed me towards home ownership and trying to achieve FI. My counter to "the look" is being visibly trans AND visibly successful. Just not the pretend kind of successful that leads to filing for bankruptcy in 3 years.

Rock on.

Dicey

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Re: Do you ever get "The Look"?
« Reply #198 on: September 25, 2017, 03:00:02 AM »
Quote
Why does the painter care whether you own your home?

Because if you're a renter he can cut corners that he couldn't with the owner standing over his shoulder.
Maybe he just wanted to know who was going to pay the bill.
I did it! I have a journal!
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