Author Topic: DIY life boot camp  (Read 7052 times)

dodojojo

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DIY life boot camp
« on: July 14, 2014, 09:32:25 AM »
This a little off the wall and namby-pamby but any suggestions on planning and enacting a life boot camp?  Very long story short, I'm just doing enough to get by and I feel like I have wasted so much time.  I've lucked out in that I'm financially prudent but have definitely not maximized all my opportunities.  Yes, there have been financial misses--but most of all, the biggest misses are more do with time and experiences. I have a masters degree, earn a decent living and have always taken care of myself and not relied anyone else.   I even help out my parents financially.  But I feel like I've always just done the minimum to make my life functional. 

I've read books like Get it Done, The Procrastination Habit, 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, etc.  And lots and lots of therapy many years ago.  But things never stick and I fall back into just ambling along and doing just enough.  This is such a first world problem...but as I grow older, the more I regret wasting time.  I'm not a Type A personality, this isn't about being alpha-efficient.  I just don't want to regret wasting time and opportunities because I was too disorganized to take advantage, you know?

Is there a template out there...to organize my time better?  I fantasize about setting up an austere boot camp schedule to whip myself into shape.  Go to bed at 11, wake up at 6, bike to work, etc.  I'm definitely into processes and it's very easy for me to find a way out if a plan or process isn't quite right.  As if I need a process that will counter my natural tendency to inertia. 

Ah, this post is almost too embarrassing.  Maybe just getting by in life ain't so bad...

horsepoor

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2014, 12:44:39 PM »
What's missing from your post is what you believe you're missing out on.  What things do you want to get done with the time that you feel you're wasting right now?  What are you actually doing when you're "wasting time?"

Snow White

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2014, 12:46:37 PM »
Or.....you could accept yourself just as you are!

By all accounts you sound pretty darn good and everyone I know has "failed to maximize all possibilities" as it isn't possible to do 100% all the time.  IMHO we live in a self-help culture that tells us we aren't good enough, strong enough, slender enough, organized enough and on and on and on...primarily to sell books and workshops. 

Maybe you are where you need to be doing what you want to do.  When you want to do something else you will...not because you have to whip yourself into shape. ;)

Iron Mike Sharpe

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2014, 01:16:46 PM »
Have you ever been diagnosed for Adult ADHD?  Read the below and see if any of this applies to you:

http://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/10-symptoms-adult-adhd
http://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/guide/adhd-adults

I used to think it was all nonsense, but then was looking for answers to my own struggles a couple of years ago.  I really started to read through the material on it and found that all of that applied to me.  I got on Adderall for a year and started reading up on coping techniques for ADHD too.  My life picked up dramatically.

Anyway, in December I decided that things were going great and quit taking the medication.  This June I had an incident at work and after some introspection I had realized that I had been slipping back into the same patterns of just doing enough to get by in life.  I made an appointment that day to get back on the meds, and I have found that I am becoming more focused again.  I still think I am getting distracted at work too easily, and might see if I can get the med levels increased a bit.

Chranstronaut

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2014, 01:23:30 PM »
...Is there a template out there...to organize my time better?

I just started reading "7 Habits" myself, and this is nearly exactly a case presented at the beginning of the book:

"There's so much to do.  And there's never enough time.  I feel pressured and hassled all day, every day, seven days a week.  I've attended time management seminars and tried half a dozen difference planning systems.  They've helped some, but I still don't feel I'm living the happy, productive, peaceful life Ii want to live."


When the author describes the Personality Ethic, he describes the feeling that "there must be something out there for me".  But he cautions that in actuality we need to consider if  there is something more fundamental that maybe we're missing?  Perhaps the way that you perceive your own time and what is or is not a priority is important to re-evaluate and self-reflect on.

At the least, what is it about the other things that hasn't stuck with you?  Is it that you lack some kind of internal passion or drive?  Or maybe that you just aren't as eager to do the things you think you'd like?  Sometimes I have to admit to myself that what I think I should want to do and what I actually want to do are not the same thing.

You say you want to: "[set] up an austere boot camp schedule to whip myself into shape.  Go to bed at 11, wake up at 6, bike to work, etc.  I'm definitely into processes and it's very easy for me to find a way out if a plan or process isn't quite right..."

It sounds like you already have the idea of what you want and even how to get there, but just need some commitment to execute on a rigid plan.  Or that you would rather have someone else tell you exactly what to do instead of setting the boundaries for yourself?  Really, it's arbitrary who creates the bootcamp-- you're the one who has to commit to doing it.  Perhaps you could consider setting up a journal on this site where you lay out your plan and update people to keep yourself honest in your progress? I support what others have posted, appreciating yourself as you are and considering why you struggle is important.

For anyone looking for motivation to shape up (physically, financially, etc), heed the immortal words of Ronnie Coleman: "Ain't nothing to it, but to do it!"

rujancified

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2014, 01:48:13 PM »
Hello there kindred spirit!

I owe the local library money because I was a day late returning "7 Habits." That's not a punchline. This happened last week.

I'm really good at sticking with routines once I establish them, but austerity is just not my bag. I can go to the gym 4-5 days a week, but I'm doing that so I can eat/drink what I want. I can use the library for my book habit, but that might mean I buy myself new flip flops. I may limit personal spending (hair, clothing, etc), but I'm still going to go for quality when I do spend the money. 

Best advice I can give is boring: make good decisions and don't beat yourself up when you don't. You can't change the past. Get the largest parts of your financial house & life in order and automated where possible. Keep doing it.

Echoing what others have said as well: What do you feel you're missing out on? Do you wish you'd started earlier or made different choices at specific points in time? What can you learn from that to create a better situation next time an opportunity comes knocking?


ChrisLansing

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2014, 03:09:39 PM »
I'm a little fuzzy as to exactly what you want to accomplish, but maybe this will help. 

I was wasting too much time, and still am to a lesser extent.   What I did to utilize my time better is set a very low, very reachable goal of one "project" a day.    A project might be painting a window, or cleaning the recycle bin, or or fixing some roof shingles, etc.   I did one thing a day then after a few weeks upped it to two things a day.   I'm still at two a day, and probably won't up that during the week.   Realistically you can't spend all your non-working time being "productive".   


Thegoblinchief

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2014, 04:57:27 PM »
Everyone needs some downtime. That being said, I use David Cain's mantra: "right now, AT THIS MOMENT, what is the best use of my time?"

Sometimes that's refocusing my attention on the kids, sometimes it's banging out the rest of a project, etc.

Goldielocks

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2014, 09:48:42 PM »
You got me thinking...

What about a 3 month boot camp on MMM spending?

Month one _ no spending ! cut everything you can. No dollars out. No cable, just internet for us!
If you can't cut the phone try not using it more often..
Park car, pretend it does not exist, etc. Borrow a bike.
   This frees up your time. 

Month two
 Now that you are bored, start a free hobby, volunteer, join choir, or?? Free exercise?
Get a temp room mate or try air bnb or generate income with you living accommodation.  If hard to do, just advertise it and interview to see who is out there....

Month three
Sustain.  Reflect.  Decide what to keep of new habits.  Do you move? Put car back in service?  What really mattered to you?
Try new vegan foods that are also low cost.  Learn new recipes.  Share food with others.  Smile a lot.


Could be a cool boot camp.... ?





dodojojo

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #9 on: July 16, 2014, 06:59:36 PM »
Hi all, thank you for your thoughts and suggestions.  It's been so busy--it's actually what prompted the initial post.  I was just very frustrated with myself because it is crunch reporting time at work and on Monday, I was dawdling along.  To ensure I don't dawdle much more, I hope the following summarizes what I do and why I know it's my darn frustrating fault.  I apologize for not addressing all the posts directly.

When faced with pressure or something I don't want to do, I...just do nothing.  I suppose it's all very passive-aggressive.  The shrink said this form of procrastination is due to perfectionism.  If I can't do something perfectly, then instead of admitting it--I avoid.  I think it's more along the lines of fear of failure.  In either case, what happens is that eventually I have to do the job, task or chore and then I whip into action.  It's a frantic rush to the finish and more often than not, I've managed to be "successful."  Somehow I have an advanced degree and generally been well-employed, albeit as a worker bee.  That's the facade, the backstory is many, many all-nighters and rush jobs.

Each time I complete something, I tell myself, "Never again."  I know the drama and stress I put myself through.  I know that if only I had just started the task earlier, I could save myself the recrimination.  But it seems I can only work under intense pressure, however much it drives me to despair.  My pop psychoanalysis of this is that only the drop dead deadline will drive me to do something I don't want to do.  Or if it's something I'm afraid of not doing well--I can say at the end, "oh well, I did the best I could considering how little time I had for such a difficult task..."

Basically this MO permeates everything I do now--ranging from household chores to my job to even personal relationships.  And I feel this ultra-reactive approach while successful in getting things done in some aspects of life--it's not healthy in many other ways.  And when without something to react to, I kinda just slumber along.  Hence the whine about not maximizing opportunities and such.

Oh well, I fear I rambled on too much again.  I'm not sure what I expected the responses would be.  The psycho stuff needs more than a forum posting I suppose...I did spend some, okay a lot of time, looking at organizational tools and apps to at least help with the process component.  Even if a process improves some parts a little--it would be a marked improvement.  Of course, it's only been a couple of days.  I've been down this road before--will I be as diligent with my to-do lists 3 months from now?
« Last Edit: July 16, 2014, 07:15:07 PM by dodojojo »

dodojojo

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #10 on: July 16, 2014, 07:06:45 PM »
Goldielocks, your post is completely solid, especially as this the MMM forum.  But if my 2nd post makes any sense at all, the direct issue isn't really about my spending habits.  No doubt they can be improved but my problem is altogether something else.  I just feel like I need to address that issue as it's the foundation of my life.  In comparison, spending is more the window dressing.  It's definitely fine to focus on spending less on lunch every week but meanwhile, I'm stressing and twisting myself to get on with reporting multiple million projects at work...

dodojojo

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #11 on: July 16, 2014, 07:09:52 PM »
Hello there kindred spirit!

I owe the local library money because I was a day late returning "7 Habits." That's not a punchline. This happened last week.

Okay, that made me laugh.  I don't even want to admit to some of the fees/fines/losses I have paid due to procrastination. Way, way more than a $1 for sure.  Before Overdrive, I figured I incurred over a $100 in late fees at my local library over a 3-4 year period.
« Last Edit: July 16, 2014, 07:15:38 PM by dodojojo »

dodojojo

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #12 on: July 16, 2014, 07:17:03 PM »
Quote from: ChransStache l
For anyone looking for motivation to shape up (physically, financially, etc), heed the immortal words of Ronnie Coleman: [b
"Ain't nothing to it, but to do it!"[/b]

Ain't that the truth...

horsepoor

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #13 on: July 16, 2014, 08:26:17 PM »
Hi all, thank you for your thoughts and suggestions.  It's been so busy--it's actually what prompted the initial post.  I was just very frustrated with myself because it is crunch reporting time at work and on Monday, I was dawdling along.  To ensure I don't dawdle much more, I hope the following summarizes what I do and why I know it's my darn frustrating fault.  I apologize for not addressing all the posts directly.

When faced with pressure or something I don't want to do, I...just do nothing.  I suppose it's all very passive-aggressive.  The shrink said this form of procrastination is due to perfectionism.  If I can't do something perfectly, then instead of admitting it--I avoid.  I think it's more along the lines of fear of failure.  In either case, what happens is that eventually I have to do the job, task or chore and then I whip into action.  It's a frantic rush to the finish and more often than not, I've managed to be "successful."  Somehow I have an advanced degree and generally been well-employed, albeit as a worker bee.  That's the facade, the backstory is many, many all-nighters and rush jobs.

Each time I complete something, I tell myself, "Never again."  I know the drama and stress I put myself through.  I know that if only I had just started the task earlier, I could save myself the recrimination.  But it seems I can only work under intense pressure, however much it drives me to despair.  My pop psychoanalysis of this is that only the drop dead deadline will drive me to do something I don't want to do.  Or if it's something I'm afraid of not doing well--I can say at the end, "oh well, I did the best I could considering how little time I had for such a difficult task..."

Basically this MO permeates everything I do now--ranging from household chores to my job to even personal relationships.  And I feel this ultra-reactive approach while successful in getting things done in some aspects of life--it's not healthy in many other ways.  And when without something to react to, I kinda just slumber along.  Hence the whine about not maximizing opportunities and such.

Oh well, I fear I rambled on too much again.  I'm not sure what I expected the responses would be.  The psycho stuff needs more than a forum posting I suppose...I did spend some, okay a lot of time, looking at organizational tools and apps to at least help with the process component.  Even if a process improves some parts a little--it would be a marked improvement.  Of course, it's only been a couple of days.  I've been down this road before--will I be as diligent with my to-do lists 3 months from now?

I sort of shudder to recommend it, but you might check out FlyLady.com.  I couldn't stand the tone of her daily emails, but the underlying idea of doing house cleaning, or whatever, for 15 minutes a day, is a good one.  Since you say you like processes, it might work well for you.  It can be much easier to work at a chore if you know you'll only be doing it for 5 or 10 or 15 minutes.  As I'm sure you know, getting started is the hardest part.  Sometimes I'll make a deal with myself to go outside and pull weeds for 10 minutes, and next thing I know, I'm totally absorbed, and end up spending an hour out in the garden.  15 minutes a day goes a long way towards keeping the house from being a wreck, too.  Anyway, you've probably seen her site before, but if not, I think it's worth suspending irritation and taking away the useful stuff.  Some people here like the Unfuck your Habitat app, too.  I really haven't used it because the various challenges often weren't applicable, or I had better stuff to do (haven't come across a weed pulling or tack cleaning challenge so far).

Goldielocks

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #14 on: July 16, 2014, 09:50:36 PM »
Goldielocks, your post is completely solid, especially as this the MMM forum.  But if my 2nd post makes any sense at all, the direct issue isn't really about my spending habits.  No doubt they can be improved but my problem is altogether something else.  I just feel like I need to address that issue as it's the foundation of my life.  In comparison, spending is more the window dressing.  It's definitely fine to focus on spending less on lunch every week but meanwhile, I'm stressing and twisting myself to get on with reporting multiple million projects at work...

Maybe not too different...  The more you give yourself permission to have less and do less and buy and maintain less or do your task just good enough,, the more your life may fill with value as you reflect on what you miss?

Pedestrian

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #15 on: July 17, 2014, 11:33:03 AM »
For an actual boot camp, check out workshops held by the Center for Applied Rationality:

http://rationality.org/workshops/

Quote from: CFAR
The Center for Applied Rationality is a nonprofit founded to give people more understanding and control of their own decisions and behavior. [...]

Join us for one of our upcoming immersive rationality workshops, where we’ll be teaching [...]
  • The structure of your own goals and motivations
  • How to redesign and change your own habits
  • How to better delegate tasks to yourself
  • How to learn new skills faster

dodojojo

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #16 on: July 17, 2014, 04:45:40 PM »

I sort of shudder to recommend it, but you might check out FlyLady.com.  I couldn't stand the tone of her daily emails, but the underlying idea of doing house cleaning, or whatever, for 15 minutes a day, is a good one.  Since you say you like processes, it might work well for you.  It can be much easier to work at a chore if you know you'll only be doing it for 5 or 10 or 15 minutes.  As I'm sure you know, getting started is the hardest part.  Sometimes I'll make a deal with myself to go outside and pull weeds for 10 minutes, and next thing I know, I'm totally absorbed, and end up spending an hour out in the garden.  15 minutes a day goes a long way towards keeping the house from being a wreck, too.  Anyway, you've probably seen her site before, but if not, I think it's worth suspending irritation and taking away the useful stuff.  Some people here like the Unfuck your Habitat app, too.  I really haven't used it because the various challenges often weren't applicable, or I had better stuff to do (haven't come across a weed pulling or tack cleaning challenge so far).


Hmmmm...I've never heard of FlyLady.  Is there drama I should know about ;)  UFYH tumblr is a site I check periodically.  The tips are good...as always it comes down to actually using them.   I was browsing UFYH and finally accepted that I'm never going to have that weekend cleaning marathon.  Maybe this will help my brain adjust to clean as I go.

dodojojo

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Re: DIY life boot camp
« Reply #17 on: July 17, 2014, 04:51:00 PM »
For an actual boot camp, check out workshops held by the Center for Applied Rationality:

http://rationality.org/workshops/


Wow, that's just about what I was looking for.  The only thing missing is a drill sergeant screaming at me every morning. 

The price is a very steep for 4 days, but I will definitely be keeping an eye on the site.  Meanwhile, I've checked out the resources link and have wishlisted a number of the books on Overdrive.