I hope you're not relying on them as a backstop if you run out of money...
Why not?
If you get them started in life for 20yrs+ it would seem reasonable for them to help you out a bit on the back end if you needed it.
If my parents needed some help in their old age I wouldn't begrudge them the assistance and I was independant at 17.
-- Vik
Without delving into family dynamics... Helping them out with their Medicare supplement or the light bill when money is tight is one thing... but full time custodial care is a different beast. I've seen people who don't save much and consciously plan on their kids taking care of them WHEN they run out of money. People point to the Asian cultures as an example for taking care of the elderly- they conveniently forget that those same cultures often front more aid in early adulthood- in the very least letting unmarried adult children remain in the home to save for when they do strike out on their own. The Western ideal is basically GTFO as soon as possible. You are grown; you're on your own. Fine. But then it cuts both ways. For many, with what money and what TIME is there to do full time custodial care? I sure as hell am not a career homemaker.
I come from a korean upbringing. There definitely is the assumption that children will take care of the adult until he/she passes away. My parents invested quite a bit in me (lessons & college) while sacrificing everything (no shopping, no spending time with friends), so it wouldn't make sense if I wasn't willing to give unconditional support when they are older. Granted, I would be very upset if they started carelessly spending money expecting that I care for them when they run out. If that became a habit, I'd have to go the monthly allowance route.
Unfortunately, with the "westernization" of korean (and chinese from what I've seen and heard during my visits) culture, parents are finding that despite investing everything in their kids, some children are growing up with the mentality that the parents should take care of themselves - leaving the parents with nothing.. I put westernization in quotes because that's what people call it, but I think it could be more a side-effect of urbanization/mega-city attitudes.
Getting back on topic, I think you do have to realize that children will visit you far less frequently than you expect. My sisters and I all live in the east coast states (in america), and traveling to visit my parents in korea is almost always too expensive and logistically impossible. Fly 30+ hours roundtrip for a long weekend?? I dont think so..They have the "once you graduate college, you're on your own" mindset - but will continue to pay for our Christmas flights to korea until our incomes are substantial - otherwise there is no way we'd all meet up in korea for Christmas. This is obviously not cheap, and has been one of the biggest reasons they are considering moving to the US, despite Seoul having its own perks.